Son to her mother: " Shut up, mom."

@djoyce71 (2511)
Philippines
October 22, 2008 4:42am CST
I overheard a teenage boy telling his mother to shut up. It seemed as if the mother was nagging him about something, and he looked and sounded so irritated. I pity the mother, but had a question in my mind. Why do you think some kids are like this? How would you feel as a mother/ father if your son talks that way to you?
6 people like this
29 responses
@redkathy (3374)
• United States
22 Oct 08
Hi djoyce, my son did tel me to shut up once when he was about 10 or 11. I was in my office and on the phone. He was waiting at the doorway for me to finish. We had some conversation and the phone rang again. I finished my sentence and turned to answer the phone when he said it. I was so flabbergasted that I spun around in my chair and slapped him across the face! I then told him to go to his room because I was way to angry to even look at him. He was certainly dumbfounded because I almost never hit my kids especially a slap like that. Needless to say, I never heard that again from him or his brother!
2 people like this
@djoyce71 (2511)
• Philippines
28 Oct 08
Sometimes, kids need slapping to learn. Your son learned from that.
@redkathy (3374)
• United States
28 Oct 08
Yep he did. Thanks ♥
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
If I were the Mom, I'd give that boy enough beating to straighten up his crookedness! How could he ever so impolite and rude to her Mom. What authority does he have to shout at his Mom that way? Tsk!tsk!tsk! AS I always quote: Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it away far from him. Some kids are like this because we parents are allowing them to get away with this kind of attitude. We have to give them the necessary disciplinary action. We should not just shrug our shoulder or just let the misbehavior pass without being corrected and punished. A kid shouting at his Mom? It is so disgusting! If we let our kids in that kind of behavior... we are molding them into wickedness. And chances are they will do far more wicked things as they grow. So before it ever grew this big...correct the child... use the rod of correction.
2 people like this
@djoyce71 (2511)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
I am so sorry for the wrong word used maam. It should have been "his mother" not "her mother." I agree with you maam. We should correct a child, the very moment he/ she did something bad. We should not allow it to repeat.
2 people like this
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
No problem dear, I also do same mistake very often. That is understandable!
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (84668)
• United States
22 Oct 08
When I hear a child tell their parents to shut up, I often want to go over and smack the kid. And these days a lot of the parents just sigh and don't do anything because I'm sure the kid has already caused them trouble and they are tired of fighting for respect. If I had told my parents to shut up at any time, My dad would have given me a smack on the behind with a belt. No, he didn't beat me at all. But it would serve me a lesson to watch my mouth. I can't believe how little respect children and teenagers have now for their parents and elders.
2 people like this
@glords (2614)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I wouldn't tolerate that kind of language in my house. Sadly I think a lot of children are just mimicking the conversation they over hear in the home. I think that if you want your children to treat you with respect you have to model it yourself.
2 people like this
@lisa0502 (1724)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
I think that now a days the parents have less rights in disciplining their kids. Now all kids have to do is run to the authorities when their parents try to dicipline them. So parents are becomming more scared to punish their kids. When we were kids you had a healthy fear of your parents, now they walk all over them. It is a sad world when the kids run your life. My kids are diciplined harshly and they have more respect for us than most.
2 people like this
• India
22 Oct 08
teenage is pretty much a turbulent time. they themselves are trying to figure out who they are. we all have been through that stage. if my child speaks to me that way it wou;d really break my heart. but i guess they need a lot of space. but mother bears everything out of love.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
22 Oct 08
It comes down respect. You must teach it, earn it, display it. There i a little story about how we speak to strangers and how we speak to our kids. It is such a shame because I am sure that kills the mother. I don't care how old the kid is, if mine did that, I would have to bust out the mommy smack on the mounth! A couple of those, tends to fix this problem.
@rsa101 (37952)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
yeah of course being a parent I would also get hurt if my sone would treat me like this. But on the other hand I would also would want to look at myself how do I treat him as a child. Maybe she was treating him rather harsh in the public that is why he reacted that way. Although that is disrespect for parents but we as parents should also be aware that our sons/daughter might get in a corner where he/she may feel too vulnerable and the only thing he/she can do is to answer you back with disrespect.
2 people like this
@chengbeb (285)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
It's a good thing that my son and my daughter don't treat me that way. I have a couple of friends who are in this same situation and sometimes it's also the parents fault. They allow this to happen to them. Some of them are in the situation wherein they don't want to use force to discipline their kids and they believe that just a simple lecturing or talking would put some sense in their kids. But it doesn't happen at all. Some just bring their kids up being spoiled brats. A child's personality is developed if we bring them up properly. Showing them what is right or wrong and showing them the consequences of their actions. We should be firm with our decisions, in scolding them, or giving them the right punishment when they do wrong.
1 person likes this
@djoyce71 (2511)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
Congratulations for having good kids. You must have raised and disciplined them the right way. There's a saying that goes: "Train a child in a way he should go, and he will never depart from it."
@msmell (1378)
• Australia
22 Oct 08
This just happened to me 2 days ago!!!! My hubby, my eldset son and myself where all in the middle of a screaming match at each other when my middle child came in and screamed at us all to Shut Up and stop fighting and then he run out of the house crying.... Anyway no I don't agree that child should speak to parents like but in our case I think that my son got quite a fight as we never have any fights like that at all in our house and I think he was trying to deal with his pain and didn't understand what was going on as we are normally a calm house whole! And after this happen i went and got him and I told him that we were sorry and that he hadn't done anything wrong as he was only frighted by what was going on and it broke my heart to see him like that So sometimes yes there may be a good reason for the child misbehaving when they do and you may not see both sides of the story as to why a child would speak to his parents like that.
2 people like this
@dong1970 (1572)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
Parents are to be blamed,they are tolerating their son to do it.If i wear his father he can experience things that we won't forget.....
2 people like this
• United States
23 Oct 08
Well, I would feel like I hadn't done my job right as a parent. I mean, if you are a good parent and enstilling good values in your children then they would understand that that is totally unacceptable. They should know to never speak to any adult in that matter and especially not their mother. I would be really disappointed and questioning my skills as a parent. I feel like this particular parent has really done a disservice to her son.
1 person likes this
@djoyce71 (2511)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
Unacceptable and rude.
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
even though my kids sometimes feel the same, they never told me to shut up especially when we're out, coz i always tell them that if they have something against me they should tell me when we're alone and vice versa, when i have something against them, i should tell them without people hearing us coz i dont want them to be embarrassed coz it will be a cause of their low self-esteem. i just hope my kids wont do to me what the teenage boy had done to his mom, coz it will hurt me so much.
1 person likes this
@djoyce71 (2511)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
I think you did the right thing to your kids Nhey. That's one way to talk to the child, and it's good that your kids listen. Others just don't.
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
thanks djoyce :) everyday, im learning things on how to handle the kids...
1 person likes this
@ememCz (139)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
Value formation starts at home. A kid will learn first from his parents and other members of the family. If improperly guided then no one is to blamed but those who did not give him the right values. Who knows..Shut up, mom..started from Shut up, Kid!
1 person likes this
@djoyce71 (2511)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
I agree with you. It should start from the home. Parents should instill good values and serve as good models to their children.
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
Others might say, "serve her right for nagging at her son" but well, as a daughter and a soon-to-be-Mom I feel sad about this. I just cannot do that to my own Mother, I'm sure it will hurt her as mush as it will hurt me if my son will do that to me. Some kids just don't have this respect for their parents to talk bad and answer to them in a dispassionate way. A good-mannered son/daughter can always gently say, "Mom, you're repeating yourself, and you are embarrassing both of us in public. Let's talk about this at home", instead of telling her to shut up. It's just a little respect and gentle communication. It's not hard to give that to our parents who raised us.
@anneshirley (1516)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
I believe this is because of poor parenting. The reason her kid can tell her something like that is because she is allowing it. One thing my parents instilled on us when we were young is the respect for older people. We are always reprimanded when we talk back to older people and we never say something, I can never say anything like that to someone who is older than me. Kids needs guidance and as parent, she must be the one to tell her son to shut up and reprimand him for misbehaving. The most important thing for being a parent is getting the respect of your kids.
1 person likes this
@Natara (169)
• Canada
25 Oct 08
I would feel like I did something wrong that really upset him. I know how much my parents upset me, and it kind of makes me angry to see people that say that the kid is ungrateful to what the parents do, and that the kid is rude. They don't seem to know what it's like to be in the kid's shoes...
1 person likes this
• China
23 Oct 08
Hi. I am not married yet and have no child now, but I have seen a lot of children doing these kinda rude things to their parents. Some of the parents love their kids so much and they tend to spoil kids and then this situation happens. For a teenager to do this, yeah, the mom hurts and maybe it also depends. I mean, if the mom has crossed the line and then her son's had enough. Maybe it's in public and as we all know that a teenager also need to be respected and the mom's nagging hurts him in front of some acquaintances. Anyway, it's sad for a boy to say this to his mom and he should be taught a lession. Looking back on my teenage period, I have also behaved rebelliously. I didn't mean to hurt my parents, but I just wouldn't do things they told me to do or not in the ways they tought good for me. And I regret some of them. But everyone has to go through this period in life. Now I am beginning to worry to which degree will my kid go in the future and how to prevent. Physical punishment may not be the answer and we do need to figure out a better way.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 08
Things have changed rapidly since I was a teenager and that was not too long ago. I am now 26, but I know if I had ever told that to my mom, I'd probably be trying to pick myself up off the floor. Things have changed so much with teenagers now and I guess this is just my opinion, but I could be wrong, but I think the reason that teenagers talk to their parents the way they do, is because their parents allow them to talk to them that way, without doing a thing about it. I know when I was raised my mom never even let me say the word shut up and to say it to her, I had better think about saying it twice before the words left my lips. I wouldn't raise my children to say the word shut up so that word would not be uttered out of their mouths. But if it were to slip I would have to put them in their place. Maybe not slap them, but I don't know what I would do. I'm not too sure. I would have to experience it first.
@061234217 (133)
• China
23 Oct 08
I'm a Chinese.In our country,all teenage are required to be deferd to parents.There are so many fames about dutiful sons in our old times.If I were the mother,I would be sad and gave him an impottant lesson about the stories.And then maybe I would punish him to wash dish after supper...
1 person likes this