hard to change

Philippines
October 22, 2008 5:50am CST
when you realize how hard is it to change yourself.... you begin to understand what little chances we have of changing others.
6 responses
@patzel88 (3311)
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
just for a while we change what we use to be and then it will be back again because we are not interested to change our life totally. but if a people wanted to change, it will happen and no need to wait for a long time for changes. always remember you cannot change a person if the interest of a person is not willing to change and they dont realize that their is nothing wrong with it, and they may question their self, why i must change it.
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
people sometimes need to change for the better
@iyah10 (4116)
• Kuwait
13 Nov 08
Absolutely changing yourself is the best options to set other people as a good example and if you could do that to yourself and for sure they would be changing as well......in the future.
• United States
23 Oct 08
I agree. Spending a lot of time and energy trying to change others is usually fruitless. The desire to change has to come from them. And even then, as you pointed it, it can be a difficult process. Over time, I have gotten better about changing certain aspects of myself, although I think there are some core elements that stay pretty fixed. But when it comes to behavior change, I read a study indicating that it takes 21 days to change a habit. Apparently, we all gravitate toward whatever the status quo is for us. It's the path of least resistance. For me, for instance, I am NOT a person who gets up in the early morning to go running. And it would be fighting against the status quo (and very difficult) for me to start doing it. However, at least according to this theory, if I forced myself to do it for 21 days in a row...not stopping a single day...then by the 22nd day, it would have become the status quo for me, and it would actually be harder for me NOT to get up and run than to continue to do so, because a new habit would be established. If that's true, I think it could apply to personality traits as well, or at least to the extent that they manifest themselves in certain behaviors. But I'm not sure we are all that motivated to change in a lot of circumstances. Even if we think we want to, there's often some pay-off for holding onto the old stuff. (Apologies if I sound too much like Dr. Phil!)
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
i was a heavy smoker before and i am clean for seven years now. i did it but it is not my right to force others to change. if i want to change something in me i just set myself, focus and give a time frame. disipline is one of the biggest thing you need to have when you want to change. but still i understand when people can not change.... but that is what they are maybe they need more motivation and moral support for them to enable to embrace changes.
• Philippines
22 Oct 08
i find it hard to change myself especially my introversion. I read books, attend seminars (MLM/networking seminars) but i always feel uncomfortable when i meet new people. It takes time for me to get comfortable mingling with them that's why i have few friends. How would you advise me so that i would change from this kind of personality?
@syankee525 (6295)
• United States
22 Oct 08
well with me i knew there was changes i had to make, i started one thing, then next thing another. no more yelling and screaming. after i made many changes in my life about not so much who i am, but how i deal with things. and how i show my love towards family and friends. i just became a better, father, husband, freind, and uncle.. i didn't change for who i am, just better myself.