Who gets your kids? Who gets your pets?

@AmbiePam (48681)
United States
October 22, 2008 3:07pm CST
I knew growing up who would take of my sister and me if something happened to my parents. We're grown so we don't have to worry about that. If something happened to me now, my mom already promised she'd take my dog Sherlock in and take care of him. For parents, do you know who would take your kids if you or your spouse died? What about pet owners? Who would take your pet?
1 person likes this
22 responses
• Germany
22 Oct 08
I think this is a GREAT question! It really does get people thinking that maybe haven't thought about it before. My husband is in the military & deploys frequently. I am overseas also, so anything can happen in a foreign country. Every time he is set to deploy, we make a new will. We always have something new to add to it. When we have children, I have already asked my sister(the best mother I know)to be my children's God parents. When we get pets(soon I hope!) my mother or his mother would more than likely keep them.
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@AmbiePam (48681)
• United States
23 Oct 08
You should be commended. You are probably the most together person on this site!
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
22 Oct 08
Well, I don't have kids so that isn't a problem...Morgana would probably go to my Mom till my Nephew is old enough to take her...she'd have to keep her as an indoor cat though which I'm not sure she would. My other concern would be my Hubby...he probably wouldn't do too good living alone with his disability and there's no one he could move in with so he'd probably end up at the VA nursing home. [b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~ **AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
2 people like this
@arkaf61 (10883)
• Canada
22 Oct 08
Hubby's cousin would take the kids if not for one slight problem. We talked about it a few times and he told us that he had already thought about asking us before we approached him. He has been a big part of our kids lives and loves them dearly. The problem is that he is living in Japan for the past 8 years and although he talked about coming back a few times it seems that he will not. He got married there and does have his life there, so with each year that passes we think he will not come back here at all. That might seem a small problem but if something happened to us, it would be a huge change for the kids. Different culture, different language, different everything on top of loosing us. Not sure if it would be the wisest decision specially with at least one being in high school still. On the other hand, hubby's cousin is the person we trust and really feel comfortable knowing the kids would be with him if something happened to us. SO we're not really sure of what to decide. His mom lives here and would stay with the kids, but she's 60 years old, not sure how it would work. As for the pets it is more complicated. I know who would keep our cats or at least two people that would keep one each. But my dog tazz is another story. He is a big dog to start with, and he has been sick for some time. I am not really sure others would want the dog or the responsibility.
@AmbiePam (48681)
• United States
23 Oct 08
So you do have some big things that factor in your decisions. I can't imagine moving to another country, but on the other hand, they would probably be comforted most by going to your husband's cousin since they feel so close to him. Maybe all that love can overcome culture shock? But let's just hope it never has to be a decision to make. : )
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@arkaf61 (10883)
• Canada
23 Oct 08
Yes, le'ts just hope. Because it would be complicated. And although the close relationship they have with him could be a helping factor it would still be a huge change.
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• Abernathy, Texas
24 Oct 08
My husband was born in China yet spent many years of childhood in Japan and he loved it. Then he moved to the US with his family and here they remain. I think experiencing other cultures is so healthy for kids. They grow up more fully dimensional and open to others and different cultures. They learn another language - so easy for others to pick up. Daniel learned English fairly quickly and when in Japan learned Japanese. We briefly considered a transfer to a base in Japan or Taiwan, we know we would love it and feel confident our toddler would as well.
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@artemis432 (7474)
• Abernathy, Texas
22 Oct 08
I've certainly thought about it - they would all want our toddler but I would want him to go to my brother and sister in law. My mom couldn't take him - too old and since she can't not fair for his other grandma. Of the remainder I would choose my brother and sister in law. They're very practical and stable financially, something that can't be said about his aunts and uncles on the other side. They raise their kids in a way that balances structure with instruction with equal parts fun. Their kids are happy, well rounded, well adjusted and excell at all they do. Great topic.
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• Abernathy, Texas
22 Oct 08
oh and also they are stable in their marraige - they've been married over 14 years and their communication is healthy too.
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@AmbiePam (48681)
• United States
23 Oct 08
That is something maybe people don't consider. The fact that the couple has a healthy 14 year marriage is a big plus. Maybe sometimes people don't look at that factor, how well the marriage truly is.
• Abernathy, Texas
24 Oct 08
And of course the fact that its a healthy 14 year marraige. Many marraiges last decades because two people are comfortable but unhappy. Or religious. And their communication is destructive or perhaps barely exists.
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@KarenO52 (2951)
• United States
23 Oct 08
When my kids were younger, my husband and I agreed that my older brother would be best for caring for them, and we were planning on asking him. We never got around to it, and fortunately, we are still alive and in good health with our children now grown and in their 30's. My daughter might take my dog, but I think if Mo were younger, and I was much older, I would try to find some agency that would find a good home for her in case anything would happen to me. Mo only likes me or my daughter. She still doesn't like men, even though she's getting better now, and I'm still trying to get her socialized to other people.
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@AmbiePam (48681)
• United States
24 Oct 08
I had a couple dogs that didn't like men. And I got them when they were very young, and they hadn't been abused. Why do you think that is?
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@KarenO52 (2951)
• United States
25 Oct 08
I don't know about your dogs, but Mo is a Chow, and Chows do have funny ways. They do have a tendency to like only certain people.
@Marie5656 (336)
• United States
23 Oct 08
Interesting question. We do not have young children at home, just have my husbands adult, married step daughter. I'd guess that if something happend and we could not keep Trixie for some reason, I would not mind Brenda having her. I know that between her and her daughter, Trixie would have good care.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 08
I should add, that Trixie is not a dog, but a chinchilla. I just came upon this discussion while looking around the forums.
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@AmbiePam (48681)
• United States
24 Oct 08
A chinchilla, that's cool.
@trickiwoo (2702)
• United States
24 Oct 08
I don't have any kids, but I do have pets. I have a pet mouse and my boyfriend and I have a dog. If something happened to me, and my boyfriend nor my parents didn't want to take care of my mouse, then the mouse would go back to the rescue group I adopted him from. When I adopted him, I signed a contract saying if I can no longer care for the mouse, I must return him to the rescue- and I let my parents and boyfriend know this, so they know what to do if something happens to me and they don't want to take care of my mouse. The dog my boyfriend and I adopted had a similar contract. So if something happens to the both of us, either his parents or my parents would take our dog. If neither of them were in a position where they could take in another dog, then the dog would be returned to the rescue where we adopted from. There she would be in a foster home until they could find a new family to adopt her. If something were to happen to my parents' dog, I'd definitely take him.
@AmbiePam (48681)
• United States
24 Oct 08
Sounds like you have a good plan.
@Opal26 (17691)
• United States
23 Oct 08
Hey ambie, I know it's a touchy subject. It certainly is at my age! I don't have any family except my Mom and she is 78! And she hates my cats even though she never met them! If anything happens to me my girlfriend Maria who got my cats for me had better take them or find them a nice place to live. They have to stay together since they came from the same litter and have been together since they were born 5 years ago. I wouldn't want them separated. They would be upset enough without me!
@AmbiePam (48681)
• United States
23 Oct 08
Oh I know. I would be worried that someone would separate them too. That would bother me a lot.
@stephcjh (32328)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I think my mom would take care of my daughter if something happened to me. she also loves my dog and hamster so she would take them also.
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@AmbiePam (48681)
• United States
23 Oct 08
I'm sure some people would think it wouldn't matter since your daughter would be without her mother, but for her to be able to keep her dog and hamster would be a comfort. I'm glad your mom would be able to take all of them. Let's just hope she never has to. : )
@mtdewgurl74 (18118)
• United States
17 Nov 08
I haven't any kids but my mom has told me many times if anything happens to her I get my little sister. When I was younger I would guess that my grandparents or children service would have gotten us. If I die, I am hoping my husband would keep them. But I pass after him then I am hoping someone would. My niece loves animals so she would be someone to leave them to and I wouldn't have to worry.
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@gemini_rose (16193)
26 Oct 08
We have had a discussion about this, I have four children three of whom are dependant on hubby and I. If anything was to happen to us then the three dependants would be taken care of by my sister in law and family, they would not think twice about it. My mum and dad would be there for them, but there is no way they could cope with three young children, they would not know what to do with them. They would probably be OK with the eldest though. I have no pets of my own so that would not be a problem.
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@trixyteddy (1072)
• India
24 Oct 08
My sons are grown up. I never worried about this because I was confident that if something happened to me, either my mom or my sisters would take care of them. I do worry about my dogs though. Three of them are manageable. But one of them, he only listens to me. Our maid, manages to take him out and bring him in. But who would bathe him, handle him for his injections, etc. I just pray and trust in God that he takes care of both of us and nothing untoward happens.
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@paula27661 (15899)
• Australia
24 Oct 08
I would like to think that if anything happened to myself or my husband my sister would step in and take care of our daughter. As far as our dog, 2 cats and bird she may not be able to house them as she has pets of her own but I'm sure she would make sure they are taken care of as she knows how important they are to us.
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@aseretdd (13709)
• Philippines
24 Oct 08
I haven't really thought about this yet... but if something happens to my... most likely my in-laws would take care of my daughter... since they have been doing that since day one... and all of the thing i own would go to her... so my in-laws would be like the care taker of all my thing until my daughter is old enough... But i sure hope i won't go to that...
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@belk89 (1103)
• Philippines
23 Oct 08
I dont think of ever leaving my kids while they are still young. But if that time comes i have talk to my husband about that, he wont remarry unless the kids already reach 18 and they can already protect themselves against any woman he might marry. Some stepmother can be evil and might harm my kids. At least when they are all grown up already they can already protect themselves against anyone who will harm them. But if ever both of us is not there i know that my parents will take good care of them and even my inlaws is there for them. But i do pray everyday that both of us are still strong and in good health till all my kids have already settled down.
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@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
23 Oct 08
We have a fair idea who we want taking care of our son if anything happens to us, but we have not finalised anything in writing, nor have we told the person yet. It's something we started working on but have not set anything formal yet.
@ElicBxn (60834)
• United States
22 Oct 08
I know the roommate would take the cats, but I need to spell out my money so she can afford to take care of them.
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@Fishmomma (11504)
• United States
22 Oct 08
My children are grown and have their own lives. Pets would be taken in by one of them. I think its good to have a plan.
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• United States
22 Oct 08
I do not have any young children but my pets are in my will. Who they go to and I have also provided for their care.
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@Hatley (164670)
• Garden Grove, California
22 Oct 08
hi ambiepam well I am the elder of me and my son so if I die, he will get all of my worldly goods which isnt a whole lot right now. We have no pets so thereis no problem there.
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