Is it bad to be jealous?

@markmoney (2868)
Philippines
October 25, 2008 1:16am CST
I don't think so. For me, its just a sign of love. It's just a sign that you really care for your love and you don't want her/him to be taken from you, you're just protecting her/him. But for others they think that being jealous is a sign of lack of trust. They let there lover to be with someone because they trust him/her. I don't agree to that, because as long as a man and a girl is together, there is always a tendency to be develop. How about you, what is your side? I would glad to hear.
3 people like this
25 responses
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
25 Oct 08
Jealousy is a sign of insecurity. If you trust your lover completely, then you should not be jealous. Being jealous does show that there is not a lot of trust, and the jealous person feels that their partner would go with someone else given the chance.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Eventhough we're on the opposite side, I respect your opinion. I heard a lot of stories that they gave their full trust to their lovers and their lovers were been taken from them. Thanks for your response.
@jhenen (277)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
For me feeling jealous is a normal. I you really love a person or your partner its normal that you'll feel jealous.. Its not a lack of trust but it represent that you really love your partner..,,,, Sometimes when a man and a girl is together yes theirs a tendency that they will be develop.. But I'm not saying that it always happened...:this situation was happened to me... when my Boyfriend was alone in there home, a lady friend of us who has a secret love to my BF go to my BF's house after an hour something happened..... A Betrayal...
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
That's what I'm talking about. I agree with you. That's why it's not bad to avoid your lover to be with someone else. Your lover should be the most special person for you, so it's just normal to take good care of her/him and treat him/her as your most precious asset. Especially nowadays, temptation is everywhere. Have a nice day! Thanks for your response! :)
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
26 Oct 08
But if your partner really really loved and cared about you, then they'd fight off the temptation. Temptation will be everywhere and if you don't trust your partner loves you enough not to give in then you are with the wrong person and without a doubt...they are and they'll see it soon enough. Not many people are into being controlled by a jealous partner.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
If your partner really loves you, then she/he will make some adjustments knowing that you feel jealous. What she/he should do is to show and prove to his/her partner that there is nothing to jealous about because her/his partner is her/his only one. Added to that is some adjustments. By that, the jealous person will be calm and will feel comfortable. Otherwise, if the partner of a jealous person will get mad and even continue on getting closer to the guy/girl, then there may be something fishy happening. What important in a relationship is the respect to each other's feeling. Problem should be talk about and clear out Thanks for your response. Have a nice day. :)
@hotsummer (10444)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
it is not bad but we should not let jealousy affect our relationship and drive our partner away from us. cause many times because of jealousy we do so many things that will make our partner suffocated and that will be bad for the relationship. we should learn how to handle our jealousy and the right response. and i admin that jealousy stems from our lack of trust whether there is basis for our mstrust or not. i am jealous person . it is one hard feeling when we see our partner giving attention or admire some one else. we all want the love and attention and admiration be exclusive to us because we are threatened when our partner begins to admin other people. but i think that admiration will not ruin relationship as long as your partner loves you more, your partner will not let that admiration or sometems little attraction to other people take away your partner's love and fidelity or faithfulness to you.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
Our partner must help us to recover from jealousy, what we just need is the assurance that we are the only one for them. When we feel that, then jealousy will be gone. Jealousy is a natural feeling, it just need to talk it over and clear it out between partners. Relationship is a commitment so the respect for each other should always be there. Thank you for your response. :)
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
26 Oct 08
A partner is NOT a therapist and should not have to go thru all the stress of dealing with your jealousy that is directed at her in order to make YOU feel more secure. I dealt with a guy like you and it does not just go away. It was impossible to reassure him enough that he was the only one for me. I thought he was the only one for me but his jealousy and questioning, well, took a toll on the relationship. It also made me look at him as weaker than me...not a big turn on. It also made me angry after a while. I have a very busy schedule. I worked hard to get things done so to make time for "US". How disappointing it was when I was expecting some cuddle time to spend the time reassurring him how much I loved him. Sadly what started out as a very good relationship ended after 8 months. I really did stop being attracted to him and for that reason. It isn't very sexy at all. Most women want to love and be loved not love and reassure their partner.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
I disagree with you when you say a partner is not a therapist. I believe partners are helping each other. When one is sick or hurt, the partner is so affected and he/she will do anything just to make him/her feel better. Is it hard for you to explain to your partner that he should not be jealous? It is just what we need, some explanation and a sweet response from you. Don't get mad when partner is jealous, he just loves you so much, that's the reason why. You know i also had a girlfriend before who is so guy friendly, so I told her that I feel jealous and I asked her, if I'm the one who has a lot of girl friends and keep on bonding with them, will you not feel jealous and do you like it? Then she said no and started to avoid those guys that I was jealous with coz she loves me so much. And she turned to be more of a jealous person than me then. For us men, we don't also find our girls sexy having a lot of guy friends. Thanks again for your comment.
@eddie42 (270)
• United States
26 Oct 08
iam very jealous and i have to watch myself when iam this way i too thought it was a sign of love but it,s not jealouy means you are insercure with who you are.iam dealing with my jealouy and try not to let it show so much these day and i feel better with dealing with my mate now that i have it under control.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
You know it will be harder for us if we will just keep it to ourselves. We better tell our partner about it. Relationship is a commitment so we must consider each other's feelings and respect it. It must be talk over and clear it out. If our partner really love us, then he/she will make some adjustments and will show us and prove us that we are the only one for them and nothing to be jealous. But jealousy must have limitations, it must be in the right time or else it will be bad for a relationship. Thank you for your response. :)
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
26 Oct 08
You keep saying that your partner should make "adjustments" to soothe your jealousy. I'm curious to just what you mean by that? Would you really want your partner to be anything less than themselves simply to please you? I would rather the person that I'm with feel free to be just who they are. Complete honesty and trust are the best way in a relationship. Expecting someone to change their ways so that you don't feel jealous is a form of control. It isn't healthy at all. We all feel a little jealous from time to time but it isn't something that should be a regular part of any relationship.
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
27 Oct 08
Ok. I think I see what you are saying. I mean, when I'm with a guy, I don't go out partying or to the bars or places like that without my guy. I know a lot of people and I've had guys get jealous when I'm simply talking to them in a public place. I also have some friends that are guys that I've been friends with for years. I've never had a relationship with them...never would. They on occassion stop by for coffee and to catch up. Most guys i've dated are ok with this and have met them. I've had some that get very upset and demand that I give up the friendships. So do you feel i'm wrong because I refuse to end my friends?
• Australia
25 Oct 08
I hate to admit that I disagree with your views about jealousy. It's far from the definition of love. Jealousy is inclined to or troubled by suspicions or fears of rivalry, unfaithfulness, etc. as in love or aims. I don't think being jealous a sign of love towards your girl, but instead it is aimed at some guy who's got the hots for her and she may likely find it tempting to flirt with him, for example. In fact jealousy is not included in the definition of love. The feeling is resentment, sometimes you are suspiciously watchful of your girl's faithfulness and fidelity and may later lead to distrust. Jealousy can kill too.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
I respect your opinion. For me, jealousy is just showing of concern. And it's still depends on the situation. If you think your girl is getting closer to a guy, won't you feel jealous? Anyway, that's your point and I have my point. Thanks for your comment.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
I respect your opinion. My point is if your girl is getting closer to a guy, won't you feel jealous, especially if the guy likes your girl. For me, it should be stop. And another point of mine is everytime I'm in love my focus is stick to the girl I love so Im avoiding other girls so I just want my girl to be the same. Anyway, we have different point of views. I respect yours. Thanks for your comment!
• Philippines
28 Oct 08
nO! iT isN't bAd tO be jeaLous.. BUT iF it is tOo mucH, yOu're bEing tOo pOssEssive.. iT mEans yOu dOn't tRust wiTh Each oTher! jeaLousy is jusT a nOrmaL FeeLiNg.. tOo Much jeaLousy cAn cAuse bReak ups! sO, iF yOu reaLLy Love yOur pArtNer, yOu sHouLd Find a wAys nOt tO mAke hiM/hEr jeaLous.. =]
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
28 Oct 08
Yes, what you said is absolutely correct! Jealousy is normal but must have limitations. Partners just have to maintain the respect to each other. Thank you for your response. have a nice day! =)
@sibysabu (101)
• India
28 Oct 08
Hai Friend I agree with you. Sometimes jealousy is an emotion experienced by those who perceive at another person is giving something that they want to someone else(typically attention, love or affection).
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
28 Oct 08
Yes, I agree that jealousy is a natural reaction. If you love the person, you would really feel jealousy whether you like it or not. It just have to fix by the partners. Thanks for your response! Have a nice day my friend! =)
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
26 Oct 08
Jealousy can kill a relationship really quick. I went with a guy who got wound up over every guy I talked to. I work in the public and know many people. I have never cheated on anyone in my life and I found his constant suspicions to be insulting. It got to the point where it seemed more of our time was spent with me trying to reassure him than we spent just enjoying each other. The jealousy thing gets really old really quick. To me it didn't seem like love. Rather he appeared extremely insecure and paranoid. It was a real turn off and I ended up breaking it off with him to end all his worries.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
Well in your case, it appears that your guy went beyond limits and it's really bad. Any thing that is too much is bad. Jealousy is only good if it is use in the right time. Your ex-guy is too much. Glad that you're not with him anymore. Me, im a jealous guy but with limitations, I know when is the time to be jealous. Thanks again for your response. Take care! :)
• China
26 Oct 08
I think in some time jealousness is the way to advance the love between you and your girlfriend.But too much jealousness can also break your intimate relationship to some extent.So the most improtant thing you should do is to control it by yourselves.For example,when your lover goes out with other males,you can show your jealousness in front of her for some minutes but not all the time.Then your lover can feel your strong feeling of love in this fashion.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
Yes, it would really be a part of a relationship especially at the starting stage, it just need to talk over and clear it out. The respect should maintain. We should not get mad if our partner feels jealous, we just need to prove and show him/her that he/she is the only one. Thank you for your response. :)
@yuna15 (2707)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
Not being jealous means you don't love your partner. But being "over" jealous is a sign of lack of trust and the worse thing, possessiveness. Being jealous, should have its limits. It needs to be talked over and cleared out to avoid losing trust for each other.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
I definitely agree. Well said. Thank you for your response. Have a nice day! :)
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
25 Oct 08
My husband is a very jealous man. To a point, his jealousy is flattering, but there is defiantely a point when it is just too much. If he even thinks some other guy is glancing at me, he gets angry. I quit wearing make-up and dressing nicer because he thinks I do itt for attention, rather than the real reason, which is simply that it makes me feel better about myself to primp a little now and then. His jealousy goes way beyond, and shows his true insecurities. By now, he should know that I love him and would not stray, but he has insecurity issues as well as jealousy issues that go back to his early childhood. I would rather give up my primping to make him feel better that to make him jealous and insecure in any way. He is so jealous that he does't even allow his own brothers to be alone in the same room as me, and they are strictly not allowed to be at my house if he is not home. As I said, jealousy, to a point, can be flattering, but there is a limit.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
With your story, it made me think that you must be very pretty and really an eye-catcher. That is why your husband is too protective of you. But his jealousy and over protective is too much, I think if he can just put a chain and a padlock on you, he will do it, just to be sure that you're only his. lol! But I can see that you love your husband very much because you are the one adjusting, which is good especially for him. But my concern on you is just your happiness and comfortability. I hope having a husband like that, you are still happy and comfortable. He should overcome his negative attitude or it may lead to mental disorder. Goodluck to your relationship. Take good care always! Thanks for your response! :)
• United States
25 Oct 08
Actually i think a little jealousy is ok...as a woman i like when my man gets jealous but i also want him to be confident that he knows i only want him...i dont necessar think ts alck of trust when him or her is jealous...more towards there confidence in that person finding someone better...men women like jealous men although they wont admit it all the time
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
I like your view, you're my type of girl. Just always show us that we are the only one for you and jealousy will be limited and even possibly gone. I think it still better if a guy/girl will tell her partner when she/he feels jealous so that the partner will know and will do some adjustments for it. Have a nice day! Thanks for your response. :)
@rizzu87 (860)
• Malaysia
25 Oct 08
I think being jealous is not right. The person who you are jealous of is better than you thats why you get jealous. I think you should try to be like him/her rather than being jealous and thinking negative about them. Make yourself a person who people be jealous off.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
For me, it's about the relationship, the one who is involve is your lover, so for me, it's just normal to protect her/him and stop any hindrances to your relationship. It is the one you love, someone special to you, not just an ordinary girl or guy. A third party will destroy the relationship. I'm not insecure to other guys, it's just that a relationship is a commitment. If you are loyal and contented to your lover then you should respect his/her feelings and do some adjustments for him/her. Our views are quite contradictal, but I respect your opinion. Thank you for your comment.
@despompa (472)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
i dont think its bad since its normal to everyone. i mean, who says that he was never jealous all his life? but there should be limitations. if you go beyond the borderline, then its not just jealousy but it is already an obsession. jealousy can be linked to any other behavior specially if its over used. i do feel jealous at times, i will be a bid hypocrite if i will claim that im not.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Yes, you're right, there should be limitations. Thanks for your response. :)
@pryce_mbg (716)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
its not bad to be jealous..i agree with your statement that its a sign of love..it does not necessarily mean that your insecure so youll get jealous..it simply means that you value someone more than enough that it came out being so into that someone..lol
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Yes, it's good that you got my point. Thanks for your response. :)
@Crocket (315)
• Canada
25 Oct 08
I have read in books on phylosofy, I am not sure whether or not I spelled this big word correctly, that jealousy is a negative emotion. It seems to me that jealousy is closely linked with fear and of course this is also a negative emotion. I myself would not want to live with these emotions as they would harm my attitude toward feelings and therefore would walk around being negative. This is what works for me although I would not want to say that is the way that you are or the way that you feel towards jealousy. Yes, I understand in a sense that this could be a sign of love although you should not want to fan the flames of this as it could end up being a disappointment to you and your partner. Crocket.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Yes, jealousy is really negative, because you feel unease everytime you feel that. Yes, we just really have to handle jealousy correctly. There's a right time to be jealous. Still, jealousy is really a sign of love. Thanks for your response. Take care! :)
@gerald_lian (2193)
• Australia
25 Oct 08
Like you, I don't think jeolousy in relationships is wrong or bad. For me, I think it is what jeolousy can cause a person to do that determines whether the action is right or wrong. As such, as long as a person knows how to handle jeolousy in a positive manner, jeolousy is not going to be a big problem after all. But if jeoulousy is the start of a spate of arguments, then the jeolousy is bad no matter what angle you look at it from. While I agree with you that jeolousy is a sign of love, I also tend to agree that jeoulousy can be a sign of lack of trust too between partners. As long as one partner can affirm the other that there is no affair going on, the other partner should trust the words of the former. But of course, the former shouldn't be lying....as lying defeats all trust, and will most likely end the relationship prematurely....
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
If your lover tells you that you should not be jealous, then it will make you calm and have trust on her/him. The most important is you value each other feelings and you have respect to each other. You should talk about any problem and secrets are not allowed. So it's really normal to be jealous, its just need an explanation from your lover. Thanks for your response. Have a nice day! :)
@Margarit (3677)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
I think it is very normal to be jealous, It become bad on how you reacted in the situation. If you do something not good out of jealousy it becomes bad but if you just tell the person you like or love that you are jealous of what he/she did i to you guess it there is nothing wrong with it. Its all about your reaction that makes it bad not the word itself.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Yes, you should tell him/her that you feel jealous to that guy or girl. So since you love each other you would respect each others feelings and make some adjustments to it. Thanks for your comment! :)
@myanime (434)
25 Oct 08
For me being jealous with someone is a natural feeling. The only thing that is not good in being jealous is the bad reaction. I mean if you get angry because your jealous and starting to get mad with your love one, starting to give limits and over reacting. Your love one will feel uncomfortable and she/he will feel that you doesn't trust him anymore. If you're getting jealous, so be it. Just don't over react. Don't show him/her your animal attitude. Just be quiet of just tell her/him that you're jealous in a nice way. I think being jealous is sweet if and ony if the man that is inlove with me can handle it in a nice way. Thant's all....
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
Well said. I agree with you. Thanks for your response! Take care! :)
• India
25 Oct 08
Jealousy is a common emotion.It is there in every human being with flesh and blood.If it crosses a certain limit it leads to crimes and mental disorders.Jealosy means wanting to have what others have.Usually people say women show jealous feelings.Men are also equally jealous.Some men are jealous of their more sucessful wifes ,of her friends and parents.In families sibling rivelry is common.A wife can be jealous of her husbands female collegue.In friends also we can find jealousy.It is common and nothing wrong in it.A very broad mind is needed to decrease jealous feelings.If we try we can reach a stage of nonjealousy.
@markmoney (2868)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
You're like a dictionary. Thanks for your response! :)