Keeping in touch

United States
October 25, 2008 9:32am CST
There are a few people that I call my friends in this world, and I have a hard time keeping in touch with them. The problem isn't distance or time; the problem is me. I love my friends, but I have a hard time remembering to call or write. I have one friend that I am in contact with constantly through the internet, though I still tend to get distracted and not realize it. Does anyone else have this problem? Am I just subconsciously inconsiderate? Out of sight, out of mind seems to hold sway in this with me, because I do this with family members as well. Am I just oblivious? Or am I just too stressed and overloaded in my life?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@iamcdy (1120)
• Philippines
25 Oct 08
I think you do not need to blame yourself all the time. Keeping in touch with friends especially with those overseas is really difficult. Time and distance matter and because you are all grown-ups, the priorities become different. It really is sad when we feel like we have no time for our friends. But once in while we should try to keep in touch in a simple text message or email. It will really make them feel happy. Also, make it a point to greet them during their birthdays or remember them on holidays which are the best times to keep the friendship alive. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you :) I do try to remember, but I've also noticed that they don't try to communicate with me often either, so I'm beginning to not feel so bad about it lol. Thank you for your response!
1 person likes this
@savypat (20246)
• United States
26 Oct 08
Sounds like you are multitasking to much. If you don't cut back you will find that you aren't doing your best at anything. If your friends are important put them on your calendar to contact. This always reminds me and that helps. LOL
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you for your response. I agree that too much multitasking is not a good thing, unfortunately cutting back is not an option at this time. I will use your calendar idea tho!! Thanks!!
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
i really do not buy people reasoning out that being busy gives you any right not to communicate most especially to people who are supposed to be dear to you. What, you can find time to delay your work for hours but you can't even find few minutes just to keep in touch? You know, this is a common problem especially to those who do not call to God. They always use the excuse of being busy that's why they cannot pray. But they have more than enough time to spend doing vices like smoking, drinking and the stuff. We know very well how important it is to keep in touch. So why prolong the agony? Find time.
• United States
26 Oct 08
erm... I can't even find time to delay my work for hours, I'm not sure exactly where that came from.. I work full time, go to school full time, and I tend to my home and family full time. God has no bearing on this conversation, as far as I am concerned, as no religious aspect was mentioned. I do not drink, smoke, or do anything like that. Sooo... I'm not sure where the negativity comes from, but I think you need a hug from someone who has been out of contact with you. I hope you find what you are looking for... Thank you for your response.
26 Oct 08
I think everyone goes through this, I have been meaning to email friends I haven't seen in months and only got around to it yesterday. I think it is because I have so much to do in very little time. You may be oblivious, stressed or overloaded- it is impossible for me to say which one as I don't know how you organise your time!
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you for your response. I think I may be overloaded. I was thinking about this last night, and if I were oblivious, I wouldn't have even been worried about it, would I? I wish you much luck and as little stress as possible!!!
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
Don't blame yourself. true friends will be there no matter how far or how long you dont talk to each other. we're lucky these days coz we have internet and it would be easier to talk to a friend even how far he/she is. i have a friend who now lives in Virginia and one in Middle East. We hardly talk to each other but we know deep in our hearts that we will be there for each other.
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you for your response. I have friends all over the country, and I agree that the internet makes it Hella easier to keep in touch.
@061234217 (133)
• China
26 Oct 08
I can understand you.You and I are in the same situation.I have some good friends.Though we are not often touch each other,we are still good friends.Once one of us is in trouble,the others would help she.We just don't often contact each other,rather than no-contact.True friends won't mind that.
• United States
26 Oct 08
Amen, and thank you for your response!
• China
26 Oct 08
You have nothing to worry about. Its an old saying(if you have one friend,you have a good life)One thing we must do,is Focus.I am a older man,and people call it seni le.Mainly,its focus,and actually not remembering,because of concentration.You will have many friends,when in school,and college,and most will drop away,in the years after.My daughter,has good friends for over 18 years,she seldom sees,or contacts with.My wife,has Classmates for the last 45 years,who are still all very close.The basis is,is that you do not have to be with them all the time or contact.This is ni ce if they feel the same.Usually people feel,out of sight,out of mind,and you're go ne forever.(unfortunately,many people in the U.S.A.,feel you are no longer a friend and at times no longer family) The Internet,can't even keep my daughters in contact with me.The phone,I pay for and they can't call me,either.My friends have my number,and call me sometimes.So what I am saying is,is that they will not dessert me,but overall have done that,unt il I return.The close'ness is not close,when you are many thousands of miles away. They are inconsiderate,or is it me?I am the one who left them.
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you for your response. I do know how you feel.. I have moved around a bit myself. I am glad to say that I do have a few friends that I know would be there for me no matter how long it takes me to contact them. That is the real measure of wealth, is it not? :)
• United States
26 Oct 08
I think its really hard to stay in touch with long distance friends by phone call, but it has been much easier to do by internet. i am in touch with all my freinds by emails and social networking webssites. I call them like ones a month.
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you for your response. I find myself trying harder lately to find old friends and at least touch base with them, but I know that I get so wrapped up in all of the the ropes of life that I tend to forget to nurture those relationships. I do intend to try harder now though. :)
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
26 Oct 08
I am worse. I contact my friends when I have need of them and I suppose they need me less. I don't take the business of friendship as seriously as I did before. Cheers!!
• United States
26 Oct 08
Sometimes life comes at you so fast you kinda just sit there stunned. I understand that. Thank you for your response! :)
@Beruang (1309)
• Malaysia
25 Oct 08
I am having the same problems to as I have not been able to keep in touch with my friends as well and they are also having the same problem as well. This is really due to the life that we are living nowadays. We are busy with things that we do to ensure that we are able to support our family. Last time when we were younger and not married, we are always together and do things in a group but once we already have our own families, our priorities changes and that is normal since we have to put our family first before our friends. Due to that, we naturally have less time to spend with friends now especially if we have lots of things to take care of such as making money, taking car of wife and kids and so on and so forth. However, having the internet is a bit of consolation for me as I am still able to get in touch with a few that are online and that is better than nothing. Cheers!
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you for your response. I agree, the internet is great! Unfortunately, most of my family and friends are still in the dark ages and internet doesn't help much, but I do try when I remember!
@walijo2008 (4648)
• United States
25 Oct 08
I'm like you, I have a few close friends that I have a hard time keeping in touch with also, and its me too, I just get too busy to call them or write them, or I forget about it. I always think I'm not being a very good friend, if I can't stay in touch with them. Not too long ago I did get in touch with a girl that was my best friend in high school, its probably been 5 or 6 yrs. since we talked, we finally met for dinner one day, we just took up where we left off, like we haven't talked to each other or anything. I do that with family members too, but everytime I call a family member they usually end up wanting something from me, or if they call me I know they want something...lol. I think it goes both ways, its up to your friends to want to call you too, its not just on your side, they want to have to keep in touch too.
• United States
26 Oct 08
Thank you for your response. I am glad to see that I am not the only one, and I do feel better about it. I have so much going on in my life that it is hard for me to even have time to relax, much less make phone calls. :)
@tessah (6621)
• United States
25 Oct 08
itd depend on the folks involved. if they dont ever bother to seek you out ever.. you feeling badly for not keeping in constant touch isnt logical. relationships take two people to make them work.. if the other part isnt nterested in maintaining a friendship with you.. i see no reason why you ought feel badly about it at all. start callin peoples.. open the lines again if they are peoples you want a relationship with.. see where it goes from there. if there are peoples you really dont care to continue being around.. leave them off yer call list.
• United States
26 Oct 08
Shazy, She is not angry, she just did not understand what you said. She thinks it is good that you practice your English. :)
@jacklintan (1302)
• Malaysia
11 Jan 11
I think you're more referring to people you haven't met and you have been "chatting" to them thru online. You have found them nice from the chats, you can openly take about your feelings and share some good experiences with, you have seen their face (either photo or webcam) and grew to be fond of them. If these friends ( you have met before chatting with them online), I'm sure there ain't any debate about it. But if you're referring to "online friends", those you have not met and you have had nice chats with them, probably this is the MAIN question you were talking about. To me, time will tell all. Regardless if they're someone you have met BEFORE or AFTER, it still boils down to the ONE (#1) question. Do you still like/have deeper feelings for this specific person online? :)
• China
10 Aug 09
I'm very happy keeping in touch with my friends .as to say:the friendship problem isn't distance or time,the problem is myself,I believe you can do better,don't too stressed in your life,work hard.........
@oblesh (1)
• India
2 Jan 09
Dear Radairc, i like to make friendship u pls reply to my oj.magic@gmail.com with love jeevan
• Philippines
22 Nov 08
i have a friend who tends to forget to keep in touch. but as friends, we try to understand that that's just the way she is and we still accept her for that. even if she's like that, we always let her feel that we're always there for her every time she needs us.
• United States
1 Nov 08
I am with you, I have the same problem. What I notice, tho, is that these friends and family members don't take the extra time or care to send me a card, email, or phone call either. The poeple that get the most of my attention are the ones who pay me the most attention. I know that may sound selfish, but the more your in my face, the more I'll be in yours....good or bad :) I've had relationships where I put out the extra effort...over and over and over again...to no avail. The people just took and took, never returning the gestures. So I learned that if it really matters to them, they'll make the effort, then I will return the effort. Does that make me sound inconsiderate or oblivious? I sure hope not...but it works for me:)