Which one would you still be friends with?

United States
October 26, 2008 3:45am CST
ok say your best friend finally gets married or has a serious and long term relationship with another person.. you have finally accepted and actually grown fond of (in a friend way) him and feel like you are close to both of them friendship wise equally.. well then your original friend cheats or does something horrible and betrays her man and they break up.. would you stay friends with your original friend because you have known her longer even though what she has done makes you sick? or stay friends with him because he is the innocent party in all of it?? or do you try to figure out a middle ground or just leave them all?? i would say i would stay with the original friend but if she did something so horrible and i couldnt respect her and everything i might not be able to stay that way.. i guess its a thing that you wont know till it happens..
3 people like this
13 responses
@sid556 (31018)
• United States
27 Oct 08
I would and have stayed friends with both. I would let my friend know that I didn't agree with how she treated him but if we were "best" friends, then I'm sure I would have already accepted our differences on things. I don't have to agree on all my friends do in order to be friends with them. When it comes to personal relationships, I am good to vent on but I don't take sides. Guard against saying anything bad against either one but be there to listen to both.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Oct 08
i think it would be hard for me to be objective if i were to see the one person really torn up about it though.. i would hope people wouldnt want to hurt some one and to see my friend do it to another person would be hard.. but of course every situation is different so unless i knew all the facts then... but if i knew my friend just didnt care and did it just for the hell of it and could care less about her partner i dont think i could deal with that
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12852)
• Australia
27 Oct 08
ehmmm... this is a tough question... i think i will still be friend with both of them and try not to get too deep into their problem... but of course i will say something to my friend who cheats his/her partner... i don't like cheaters and i never approved of it... so i will make sure that i say something to my friend even though i will still be friend... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
• United States
27 Oct 08
i would have to tell my friend how i felt on that too
1 person likes this
@makingpots (11928)
• United States
27 Oct 08
You know, moonlitmagikchild, I have a very similar situation among my friends. I even started a discussion recently about this couple. It has been very rewarding for me to maintain a friendship with both of them. Even though the offending party knows how I must feel about the offense, we have found a way to bond over something else in life and I think there is a stronger bong because I have not been judgemental of them. I'm not sure if I'm making sense. In short, try to keep both friendships... life is too short to take sides and lose friends.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Oct 08
thats cool that you found something else to bond over
1 person likes this
@magojordan (3256)
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
I think I'll hear both sides first then try to stay friends with both of them. I'll try no to meddle as much with their personal problems. I'll leave it to them how much will they tell me. Only then I will be giving advice and make them realize that actions have their consequences.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Oct 08
Because i hate to lose friends, i would try to find a middle ground and try to stay friends with the both of them.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
lol i figured that would be your answer
• United States
27 Oct 08
You act like you know me.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
ya know i was bored and realized that we have lived together for at least a month if you combine all the times we have been together
@ronaldinu (12454)
• Malta
26 Oct 08
I try to get involved in their problem. It is for them to sort out. I would remain close to the person whom I have known before. I don't judge him or her for their actions. It is up to them to live their own life. This does not mean that I do approve of his or her actions. © ronaldinu 2008
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12454)
• Malta
26 Oct 08
The first sentence has a not missing so it should read... I try not to get involved in their problem.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
yeah.. i would feel bad for my friends partner if he really hadnt done anything..
@coofph (12)
• China
27 Oct 08
It's really hard to make a decision. I don't think a friend betrays her man and they break up means she also betrays your friendship. So you no need to leave her.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
well not that she is betraying me but in not being able to agree with how she was cruel to him
• United States
27 Oct 08
That's a good question. I guess I would try to remain friends with both of them. Your friend may have done something wrong, but if you are really good friends, I think you should be able to get past that and forgive her. Also, if you have become friends with him, I don't see any reason why you can't remain friends. It could cause problems between you and the original friend in the long run though. I guess that's just a tough situation. I hope I don't have to deal with that one.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
i hope i dont have to either
@jillhill (37399)
• United States
26 Oct 08
I had a friend that was a very good friend. We did alot together....but when we started golfing together...she started cheating on her husband.....whom I also was friends with. Well eventually we parted ways....and I don't talk to either one of them. I didn't like the fact that she used me and our outing to cheat on her husband...if she wanted to do it okay....but don't drag me in on it!
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
ugh i would be pissed to high hell if she had done that to me!!
@mentalward (14716)
• United States
26 Oct 08
I couldn't remain friends with someone who cheated. I'm very much against that because of the pain it causes. Hey, I divorced my husband because he cheated! I'd 'divorce' my friend, as well. If they do it once, chances are they'll do it again, and again. I couldn't handle watching my so-called friend hurt even more people! As for remaining friends with HIM, I'd have to leave that up to him. He might feel weird about your friendship because you were friends with the gal who hurt him badly. You might actually remind him of that pain every time he sees you. So, my answer would be to stop my friendship with the gal and be open to whatever the guy involved decides.
• United States
27 Oct 08
im the same way cheating wise.. i dont condone or think i could be friends with some one that did.. i dont know if i could be friends with her ex though either because that would be all we had in common for the most part
• Canada
13 Dec 10
I would find a way to be friends with them both, in circumstances where they won't have to be together. I should not have to pick sides in a friendship, but if the other person does not like the person they left, then I see no reason to force them to constantly get together.
1 person likes this
@sanzi1201 (645)
• China
27 Oct 08
A best friend cheat you is a worst thing to me,I think.I couldn't accept and bear it.So,I will refuse to get along with her or him.Because a good friend will not harm me.
1 person likes this
@klaudine (3653)
• Indonesia
26 Oct 08
I would stay friends with both, and keep their problems away from me. I think it is harder to choose who I have to stick with. My friend did something horrible and I can't blame the partner because of it, I would keep friends with him. My friend did a horrible thing and I have the right to leave her alone, but for the old time sake, I keep friends with her as well. That was hard to do, but I think I cannot leave any one of them, or if things got worse, I would leave them alone. No one to be my friends, especially when that friendship had become troublesome
1 person likes this