I need help I relapsed

United States
October 26, 2008 1:49pm CST
Hi I feel so bad today I didn't go to church and I have started back dirnking and I really know I need help. Here in illinois it's really hard to get into some type of program that keeps you inside. AA will not keep me from this daily problem. I have been drunk for the last few weeks and i'm tired and so is my body. I really need a friend and some advice. Stress and daily life had been taking a toll on my stress level someone please help me I am a reborn christian and I need help I am very picky about trusting people because i've been betrayed so many times and even with church family it's really hard to tell people your business as they have their own problems. Any advice or resources will help.
5 people like this
12 responses
• Trinidad And Tobago
26 Oct 08
Hi Tasha sorry to hear that u feel like that but u have to dig deep deep inside u and pull out the tasha that admits that she has a problem cause that is the strong one that is the one that knows what she really wants that is the one that knows that she does not want to drink.U know its easy for anyone to tell u not to drink but u and the man above are the only ones that can stop u.U know Tasha just as u pointed out many people have problems of their own some worst than others but problems r made to be solved and i dont know u but just the fact that u can put your problem out there means u have the strength to solve it.Drinking will only solve one problem and that is to make u forget the real problem so girl dont face your problem one step at a time hold true to your faith dont let other people in the faith get u down.Try this for me it always work for me u think back at problems u had in the past did it not solve itself or did u solve it well what i am getting at is i bet the problem is not there anymore at least most of the time and i am sure that u spent a lot of time worrying about it but u know what that one is gone and another one comes back up.So try not to stress face your problem U can do it U r strong yes U r
2 people like this
@myklj999 (18046)
26 Oct 08
Well, when you're really ready to quit, you will; until you reach that point, no program or advice anyone gives you is going to work. You have to do it yourself and for yourself. Nothing else will work. I speak after being an addict for over 30 years; I've now bwwn clean for a little over two years. I went into rehab years ago for 6 months; within 6 months of getting out I was back on it because I hadn't really decided I was done. Hopefully you will realize before much longer that you don't really need that stuff; it just feels like you do. When I finally quit, I didn't go to rehab or NA or any of that; what I did do was quit going to places where there were people that used stuff. This meant giving up every single "friend" I had; it's not an easy road, and it's hard to get started, but I wish you luck on your journey.
1 person likes this
@myklj999 (18046)
26 Oct 08
*been* not bwwn
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Nov 08
Believe it or not what you just posted gave me some encouragegement to just do it. I see you have been in my shoes and you made it and you are absolutly right it's not easy but it Doable (is that a word..LOL)and I'm trying and God has been so good to me,better than I have to myself. Thanks and don't forget to check-in on me here and there.
@myklj999 (18046)
8 Nov 08
Go for it; you [b]can[/n] do it. I'm sending you a friend request.
@rsa101 (15467)
• Quezon City, Philippines
27 Oct 08
Telling yourself that you need help is already a start that you are aware and is able to make a start for reforming your life right now. That is start and you should just need help from others. Although trust is greatly needed in doing so you will just need to trust people who knows how to deal with your problems. Once you have gained your trust then maybe you should start loving yourself starting to love yourself means getting rid of that habit of yours only then you will realized how you've abused your body all these times.
• United States
8 Nov 08
Yes you are right and I will thanks.
@syankee525 (6294)
• United States
27 Oct 08
when i gave up drinking the last time was hard since we hung out with people who drank. but i told them nothing allow in our house. but admitting is the first step, so you know you have a problme. but one thing you need to be determain then ever. so if you hang out with people who drink, you either need to ask them no drinking in front of you, and don't allow you to drink. or just stay away from them. everytime you feel like you need a drink, just pray and pray. i guess i'm lucky i started back up, but my wife was firm with me on the rules. she told me she wouldn't put up with it. i've been cut off three times. my wife and my kids will tell me no more you are done. hope this help, be determind, when you want a drink pray and pray.. best of luck to you, i know it's hard but have faith and be more determian then ever
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
27 Oct 08
i think the support from your church community will play a huge part in helping you to get over your drinking habit... of course you have to have a will and determination as well to kick off that bad habit... church community is the family of God that had been redeemed by His blood on the cross... so as one body of Christ, they should help one another when there is a member who needed help... in this case, i suggest that whenever you have an urge to drink, call one of your church friend and talk to him/her... share with the person about your problem... be honest and ask him/her to help and support you... pray to God to give you extra strength to fight this bad habit... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
• Australia
27 Oct 08
First of all, try not to feel bad about it. Try not to feel guilty. You're human. Humans make mistakes and mess up. Try to accept that first and you'll feel a lot less stressed. It's easier to change yourself when you're calm and confident. You can do this. I know this because I can tell from your post you REALLY want to change. Take it easy and try not to be too hard on yourself.:)
@skysuccess (8882)
• Singapore
27 Oct 08
Tashasmith, It's hard to let go because you never did let go in the first place - even if you think you did. Time doesn't really heal wounds - what time does is to coerce you in resigning fate and get used to your situation. Recovery is by choice and quiet reflection, often spurred from personal enlightenment. Sometimes, I find it incredible when people realized that they want out and yet they will find all sorts of ways and methods to retain them, relapse. Why do anyone wants to think that 'forcing' will bring about changes? Would that actually change anything permanent and not relative by nature? Placing you as the 'me first' perspective will always work against you from moving on, that's because Addiction don't really give much damn about an individual alone. If the sum isn't two, then the entire model of addiction will corrupt, turning the equation into a big error. Therefore, your depression is self generated. It would help if you could seek some professional counseling besides attending AA. Just don't make a mistake of joining a group of depression people thinking that life is going to get better without the help of proper counseling. You will get more depress that way. Let me quote you a likely scenario: here you are crying over spilled milk and there other people are revelling in their new life. Continue to hold onto nothingness and continue to be melancholy? Your choice. Have you ever wonder that the void is never meant to be filled by materials or drinks? Happiness comes from within, it comes from the fact that you love being you. I guess for awhile you loss that sense of happiness because you lose track of yourself. How can you be happy if you don't love yourself? I suggest that you sit down and think about your life. Ask yourself what makes you happy, what makes you sad and why. Seek to find the weaknesses and attempt to fix it. Most of the time, its because one has no self confidence. If that is true to you, maybe you need to start working on building your self esteem. Another way to fill the void could be spiritually. Now I am not asking you to go to God immediately, I am suggesting that this could be an option, since you mentioned that you are a born again Christian. I always pray when I feel down and always remind myself that God will be with me. I honestly feel that it works. Besides, if God is on my side, who can be against me and you? Many people don't realize how powerful spiritual life can be. They think that they can manage themselves and there is no need for God. If it's true, then why are they stress all the time? Take some time and talk to Him by praying. Also, you need to seek someone whom you can talk to...Heart to heart chat. I realize its very important because if you bottle up everything, you will feel worse. For me, I am pretty cautious about who I talk to and usually, my most kept secrets are to my pastor because I trust him. Likewise, you need to look for someone in church whom you can really talk and it takes time to do it too. I hope that the above will be of help and I shall remember you in my prayers. Meanwhile, sit down and think about what I have just posted here and take care.
@KrauseHome (35517)
• United States
27 Oct 08
From someone who has been in and out of AA, etc. for me, it took developing a personal relationship with God and allowing him to be in control of my life, and learning that their is nothing he and I cannot handle together than no drink could do anything for. I have a strong Church body of friends, and a church I attend and know they are there for me to help me no matter what I go thru. I personally have a little over 12 yrs. now since my last drink, and it feels so good. My best advice for you is do not be afraid to find people from your Church you can call on and talk with, and have them help get you thru the rough times as well. You need some support right now, and a Church body is for sure one of the best places to start. I will be Praying for you, and wishing you the best.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164486)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Oct 08
tashasmith you have to make the decision to quit, ,now today, ask God for help and for heavns sakes dont turn your b ack on ' AA as when you have made the committment to stop drinking, and have seen your doctor, he will suggest you attend AA, and yes you will feel embarrassed and think oh this wont help but you will be among others who are fighting the same battle. Stick to it, make it a foregone thing you will attend each meeting. bye and bye as you stop drinking for one day, then another the meeting will make sense. take your new life one day at a time, and when you feel you must have a drink go buy a coke and a sandwich, read a book, listen to some music. each day you can go without is another step closer to becoming well again. I have never drank so dont have that problem but have read a lot about how to get off the stuff. Now know this AA cannot help you until you do make the decision to stop drinking. And take it one day at a time. For one day you can go without that drink.I know you c an stop, you need to see your doctor then join AA and attend every meeting, if you have family members who would be your cheerleader, enlist their help. you c an do it. let us mylotfamily be your cheerleader. we can help if you let us. let us know how you are doing. remember one day at a time, one day you can do this.
1 person likes this
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
26 Oct 08
Do you have friends or some type of support system to help you out? Have you talked with any doctors? Maybe that is something you could consider since AA did not work well for you. Maybe a book or just talking it out would help as well. Do you have a journal? I know that has helped me with issues in the past and some people that I know.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Oct 08
Dont give up, You made a mistake, Dont give up, God never gives us more than we can handle with his help, Its going to be incredibly hard... But you have the strength through God. I cant be much help... I've never had that problem... but from my limited perspective... I would think the next step would be to get out of the face of temptation, get rid of all the alchahol in the vicinity, and to hold off hanging around friends who drink to much, at least for a while. I'll pray for you Tasha, dont let Satan tell you that you can't... mistakes in the past doesnt mean you cant, and it doesnt mean its stronger than you. Keep fighting. You will make it :) as for stress... it really depends on whats stressing you out.
1 person likes this
@hildas (3031)
26 Oct 08
I think you are the only one that can really help. You have to believe you can do it. This must be so hard for you, and you had done extremely well before. Well done. I have been stressed the last year. I have not been well and got depressed as I cannot work, and I am drinking too much at the weekends. This is probably nothing, but I think my husband is getting fed up with it. It helps to make you feel better though, but I am sure there is other things out there that must do the same. I will try to find out other ways to help you. I will check back.