When your very good friend lies to you....how would you deal?

my friends are special and i dont to lose them... - I love my friends.
@mimpi1911 (25479)
India
October 27, 2008 12:41am CST
It's very disheartening to find out that the person whom we considered good friend had lied. And that too without any apparent reason! I feel, transparency is the basis of all relationships and when our friend lies we kind of lose hope in the trustworthiness of 'friendship'. How would you deal with such friends? Would you still confide in him/her, the way you used to do? Or your friendship would be affected? NEVER CHEAT ON YOUR FRIENDS, IT KILLS....
13 people like this
66 responses
@nini89 (670)
• India
6 Nov 08
Hi mimpi! If a trustworthy friend lies the relationship with that friend goes farther and farther. I wont be able to deal with that friend as early as we were.IF at all for some purpose she or he lies then they have make it clear after the sitauation for what purpose they have done that. Then we can understand to saave something they have lied. We must understand the situation or if they habbit of having lies then it is not possible for me to continue the relationship. Happy posting and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
9 Nov 08
very true
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
9 Nov 08
very true!
1 person likes this
@nini89 (670)
• India
10 Nov 08
Thanks a lot.
@CJay77 (4441)
• Australia
27 Oct 08
If I found out that my friends lies to me, I guess that friendship will remain but there will be no trust! I'm not sure if we can still call that as a friendship or just may be acquaintance. Trust ie very important in any relationship and if we lose that it wont be the same. I guess I can forgive but I can't forget. (hugs for you my dear)
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
27 Oct 08
hI cJAY I am so much like you! The trust is so hard to bring back. And i would not really trust that person. It hurts dear. You take care.
2 people like this
@CJay77 (4441)
• Australia
27 Oct 08
I'm sorry that you are hurt my dear and I'm sure that pain will be healed in time. I can't sing though, but if that would help you feel better I would, lol. Just want you to smile my dear. You take care also.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
27 Oct 08
I am all smiles now.... Thanks for your sweet words. You make me feel better.
1 person likes this
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
29 Oct 08
Friendship is based on trust and a good friendship can be developed and maintained only when there is trust and mutual sharing and caring.If my good friend deliberately lies to me,I will be rally hurt.If its the first time I will just take it at its face value and over look it,but if the person makes a habit of it,then that person will soon cease to be my friend.There is no doubt about it.....
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@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
9 Nov 08
that's sensible..
2 people like this
@Roseo8 (2947)
• India
10 Nov 08
@uautkarsh (414)
• India
27 Oct 08
When my friend lies to me, and if i know that he's telling a lie, then i straight away say to either tell the truth or forget that matter.. i never try to fight with my friend to get to know the truth... After some days of that lie, i would have once again asked that what was the truth!
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
27 Oct 08
I get that you are a nice guy and love your friends. Reasoning it out would be a good thing to do.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Oct 08
Thanks a lot for that!! I've lost one of my friend, cause he has gone for further studies away from me, but we till talk, and i hope he'll not forget me!!!!!!!
1 person likes this
@Jezebella (1446)
• United States
30 Oct 08
I would be cautious with my dealings with someone who lied to me. I would be weary about trusting them in what they say and do. I mean how can you trust someone who lied. I don't think I would be able to confide in them, unsure of what they do with the information.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
9 Nov 08
indeed it's tough!
1 person likes this
@BYOLA2871 (4373)
• South Africa
30 Oct 08
Lies have and will always be a stigma on any form of relationship it can be painful if someone you truly rely on lies to you epecially when there is really no cause for it but what do we do,it has been sd so many times that man can dissappoint youa at any point even when you least expect
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
9 Nov 08
this is so well said. there is indeed no rule as to this! we cannot really figure out whys, hows and what fors....i wish i could!
1 person likes this
@fifileigh (3619)
• United States
30 Oct 08
i just do it back to them.
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Nov 08
But do you stay friends that way? That seems rather childlike??
• India
29 Oct 08
well it has happend with me soo many times that a good friend of mine has lied to me. WEll i know its a very bad thing but then what i did was i whenver i came to know that a good friend lied to me.I went up 2 him and asked him what the reason was and if he said that there was a casue behind it and if it is udnerstand . i would be fine but if whatever he said would be useless i would just turn around and walk out becasue if he would ditch me for something usless and i dont know what he would do later in life and hurt me then very badly becasue by then we all would be more closer to each other . Well anywas nice disccusiongot all my memries out. lol. Well anyways happy mylotting buddy :)
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
9 Nov 08
i am sorry to hear that. i realy appreciate your concern for your friends. but pls be careful to not get used for this sweet nature of yours.
1 person likes this
@shrestha1 (123)
• Nepal
29 Oct 08
first of all i would like to say that the friend whos lies is never a friend but if that friend who lies and realizes that he\she shouldn't hav lied and tells yhu that he\she is lied to you than i would forgive them....
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
9 Nov 08
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
27 Oct 08
I guess it all comes down to the context of the lie for me to determine if I would remain friends with them or not anymore. Regardless of that aspect though I would be constantly wary of them from that point and always on guard. It would make things extremely difficult moving forward because trust is a very inportant aspect of any relationship. I most definitely would NOT confide in them anymore.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
18 Nov 08
Same here James. I do not think I would be ever able to confide in them again!
1 person likes this
@drannhh (15241)
• United States
27 Oct 08
It depends a bit on the severity of the lie, but there are a lot of fish in the sea, and I don't hang onto people who have low morals...if a person is dishonest over one thing, they probably are over another as well. If it was a serious lie, I would probably cut ties.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
10 Nov 08
i think i more like you regarding this. people with loe morals get on my nerves!
1 person likes this
@Emilyzhu (147)
• China
27 Oct 08
This is really a very painful thing for us .First ,I will feel very sad and ainful ,then I will think over why he or she do this on me ?AM I his or her true friends .Of course it also depends .If it is just a white lie ,it must be hisor her kindness to me ,I will never mind ,but if it is really a lie ,I will think of our past friendship carefully .Of course ,I will not fight with him or her for this reason ,but I am afraid I will watch out for her or him in the following days .
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
18 Nov 08
1 person likes this
• China
27 Oct 08
If I encountered such a situation , I will try my best to communicate with him , to find the reason why he lies to me .If there are some special circumstances ,then I will forgive him ,and help him to solve the problem ,But ,if he lies to me just for some benefit ,then I will leave him .
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
14 Nov 08
Thanks.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
I ask her on why she did that to me, then I will weigh if her reason is valid or not. But I cannot guarantee if I can give her my full trust again or until when will I forget her sin.
1 person likes this
@mimpi1911 (25479)
• India
10 Nov 08
1 person likes this
@nini89 (670)
• India
6 Nov 08
Hi mimipi! If any friend lies to me then the trust which lied will not be a of before. I dont like the person of that type. If the trustorthy friend does it then the thing is that the relation between will go farther and farther. We might keep talking but as of early friendship wont ramain. Happy posting and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
28 Oct 08
I don't know. I think the trust level would have gone down a little bit or have gone way way way down. I think if we've been good friends for years and I found out this friend lied "bigtime", then that hurts me the most and I don't think I will ever trust that person again. If the lie wasn't that big of a deal, then I just let it go and forget. I think it helps to talk it out in order to resolve the issue. I'd try to find out why the person lied and go from there. I've had a friend lie to me about still seeing this guy because she knew I would not approve of their relationship (he was already married to someone else and was treating her very badly). She's still a very good friend but I just don't ask her about the relationship anymore, I just lost interest after finding out the truth. Are you writing this based on a recent experience? I hope not because a friend's "betrayal" is one of the worst things a person could go through. Take care, mimpi.
• Philippines
27 Oct 08
It depends on the lies, sometimes we lie for a good purpose, though it's a lie, it meant to help others in some ways, but it the lie has a big impact on me, then i'll confront him/her for that. it should not affect the friendship but instead it should make your bond stronger.
@Nadia818 (77)
• United States
27 Oct 08
Keep it real with your friend. The last thing you need is friend that lie to you.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Oct 08
It is so hard to find a good true friend these days. Sometimes after the trust has been broken it's really hard to confide again, but often we find ourselves going right back to that friend, often because we don't want to believe a friend could betray us like that. I myself have done this before, simply because in the truth of it, I love my best friend, even if she doesn't keep all my secrets!!
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
27 Oct 08
Mimpi, Friendship is built and based primarly on trust. It evolves as our trust in the person grows and vice versa. The closer the friends the greater the trust. So If this trust factor breaks in between, then the bond seems to break. I would be extremely upset if something like this happens to me. Expecially since i am the type who does not make friends easily. Even wonder if the person was really a true friend in the sense i believed him/her to be.I would hesitate in getting close to other people and would maintain a certain distance, not sharing things easily. I would forgive the person for breaking the trust, but the trust would certainly be lost.