Modern day housewife... sexist?

United States
October 28, 2008 12:14pm CST
I'm getting married in 6 months and both my fiance and I agree she'll stay at home. Though I'm young I have a very good, stable job that can easily support the two of us, freeing us up to spend more time together outside of work, and when we eventually have children (maybe 2 years), she would want to stay home anyway to raise the children rather than have a nanny raise them for us. This is her choice and I've asked her many times if she's sure, and that I would support her if she still wanted to work, but she said this is what she wanted, and we're both okay with that. We've discussed this thoroughly, covering everything from finances to responsibilities to how she'll spend her time. This wasn't a one sided or rushed decision. However, the reactions we've gotten to this have been almost entirely negative. I've had different reactions ranging from me being a dominant chauvinist to her wasting/ruining her life to some even thinking she's uneducated, talking about community college classes or taking up a part time job at Walmart, yet this is a woman with a Bachelor's degree in IT who had a very good administrative job. She left it because she wants to become a homemaker. In my eyes, it makes her happy and it's what she wants so it shouldn't matter, but to others, they think it's a huge step down and almost seem to scold her for it. So what do you guys think? In this modern day and age, where both men and women are expected to enter the work force and further their careers, is being a housewife/homemaker considered sexist and a step down from the social ladder? How do you feel about it, or rather, how would you feel if one of your female friends wanted to quit their job to be a homemaker? Are any of your homemakers? Thanks for the responses, guys.
3 people like this
5 responses
• United States
29 Oct 08
I am a Marine Corps wife and in my "social circle" its very common for women to stay at home and raise the kids, mainly because the Marine in the family is very dedicated to their job and may possibly be deployed. As long as it makes you two happy then by all means, forget what outsiders have to say. My only concern is if, god-forbid, you get divorced and she has nothing to fall back on.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
28 Oct 08
I think that it is entirely up to the two of you - specifically her. And if that's what she truly wants and you can afford it then that is a huge luxury for the two of you. Personally I would get bored if I didn't work right now (my fiance and I are in the same place you are - getting married in May) and would probably end up taking at least a part time job. But I hope that when (and if) we're ready to have kids I'll be able to stay home with them at least while they're little. I don't think it's sexist or archaic, I think that it can be beneficial to your children and it's a personal choice - and education and chauvinism have nothing to do with it.
@AmbiePam (50160)
• United States
28 Nov 08
If a woman wants to be a housewife, then good for her. Being a woman in the work force is no more important than being a stay at home wife and mother. It annoys to me to no end when people look down at women who stay home with their children. And if a woman doesn't have children, and is only married, who cares? It's not like she'll have nothing to do! lol Feminists seem to have turned on the women who have chosen to stay at home and rear their children. Which is pathetic because it defeats the purpose of being a feminist in the first place. For women to be able to choose. Oh, and for anyone who wonders...I'm not married, and no, I don't have children. So I'm not defending myself.
@dodo19 (33691)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
4 Nov 08
This is the type of choice that I believe is entirely yours. You guys have to make this type of decision together and see what you feel the more comfortable with. If you agree that she'll be a full time mom and housewife, and you feel comfortable with that, then what other people think shouldn't matter. It's your decision. That's it. Pure and simple. Well, ... so to speak.
@sharra1 (6342)
• Australia
30 Oct 08
It is not sexist if your wife wants to stay at home and be a full time wife/homemaker. I regard that as a full time job. I see nothing wrong with it as it is her choice. I know that some people see it as negative, they just do not seem to realise that not everyone wants to work or have a career outside of the home. There is a distinction between women choosing to stay home and not being allowed to do anything else. It only becomes sexist if she is forced to stay home because she is a woman. That is what the feminists were complaining about but they were so busy fighting for the right to have jobs and careers that they forgot that some of us want to be stay at home mothers. Some women just cannot accept that there are women who actually do want to stay home. I only ever wanted to be a wife/homemaker and lots of people think I am crazy but it is my choice. I also have a degree and I prefer being a home maker. Some people only see their own view points.