If your bestfriend betrayed you once will you still be friends with her?

Philippines
October 29, 2008 11:10pm CST
I have a friend and we became very close to each other. She is friendly too as i was to her and we have many things in common .She have other friends too in the other side and some students from the other department who i didnt know . Until such time she become more close to them and dont have time for me anymore especially those usual times i needed company going to the malls or on other things like we usually did.Then until the weather completely change and i cannot find a reason why she suddenly change her approach on me. She didnt even confront me about it though i wanna know what it is that she is angry about .And i just heard from other people that she did gossip to them about bad things about me which i didnt do and i cannot really find the reason at all. because of what i heard i was really feel depressed about it and i tried to figure out what could it be and tried to recall the things that she might be upset about. But i didnt comfront her about it because she tried to avoid me many times and she have a flock of friends with her and they sometimes look at me mockingly . I was just a silent type of person and i just let others do what they wanna do in their life. I tried to ignore what happened so it doesnt affect me much coz anyway almost anyone there in the department were my friends and we are helping each other too but they are not my bestfriend. Only She was my bestfriend before it happened. Then suddenly few weeks after that when i was in the lobby she approach me and smile at me . And so i just smile back at her and she started talking to me like 'ohh do you have an exam now? where do you go after here? or we will go together after your class and have dinner .That really surprised me coz it seems like everything is nothing for her and all the shame and hurt that she 've cause in me she dont care at all. Then when i dont respond to her and just try to ignore then thats the time she started telling me 'ohh by the way im sorry about what happened to us and lets just forget it. I was just enjoying life with my other friends. "I was gonna tell her that ya your enjoying your life with your other friends but why dont you have to tell bad things about me which i didnt do.She just smile at me and said just forget it. Can you believe that. Then i decided to just avoid her and not be her friend anymore coz shes the one who started it and i think i was doing the right thing for myself . Then whenever she saw she is trying hard to be very friendly coz i can sense shes feeling so guilty inside. And since she seems to be nice again so i just accepted her back as a friend but i dont know how to take it if just a friend or a bestfriend. Then im just surprised few days after that coz i finally knew the truth then .I personnally talk to one of her friend and she told me why my friend was very angry with me before .She have a crush in school but that guy dont like her .And then it just happened that the guy was the one who courted me or one of my admirer and she didnt know about it coz i was trying to avoid that man too coz i dont like him. And it wasnt big deal for me to tell my bestfriend about it coz it was nothing for me. Then one time during valentines that guy sent flowers to me and my bestfriend knew who he was sending too because she was stalking that guy .Then thats the only reason why she is very upset with me and she broke our being friends. She would have told me right away what it was so i can help her then. After that we became friends again but several times it happened that she did the same thing again,trying to avoid me and talk to people or other students bad things about me and after few weeks she would say sorry and wanna reconcile.She did it many times already ,but when she is not doing that she is very nice and good to me and kind too. Do you think it is normal to be just like this way?become friends and enemies sometimes? Or should i tell her then that we should separate ways and its better if she will just stick to her other friends? i cannot tell her right away like that so what would be the best to tell her without hurting her feelings then.Sometimes i was thinking she was a good friend, sometimes too i think shes not. Have you had any experince like this .I mean i think for some people maybe its easy to lose their friends and to hurt their feelings but for me i cannot do that . What would be the best thing to do then?
6 responses
@my125125 (822)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 08
For me, friend who betrayed me, will not become my best friend, just friend. A friend can betrayed you, that mean, he or she do not take you as best friend, you are just a friend. This is what I think and do.
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
Well i was thinking same thing about you coz it happened many times already that she did things against me. But inspite of that i was still trying to be the same to her and thats why i dont know if she just become very abusive for doing it...Anyway thanks for what you said...
@despompa (472)
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
i think your friend is very immature. so what if the guy he liked courted you and not her? i mean it doesn't matter. it's not suppose to be bid deal since you're friends. she should be happy because the guy she liked likes you and not anybody else who doesn't belong to the same circle of friends. i think it pains her so much that the guy she liked, liked you you and not her. i cant really imagine how bad she feels. but to put an end to the misunderstandings, if you don't like that guy too then be frank while you can still save the friendship, if you think it's worth saving.
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
Hi..thanks for your comments. Ya i already told her the truth after we become friends again that i dont like the guy that she likes and then thats the times she was so friendly with me. Im trying to save the friendship already not just once but many times already and i dont know if she just wanna play some games or what.Anyway thanks for that...
@pryce_mbg (716)
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
the best thing to do is to give your friend a second chance. everyone deserves a second chance. also, forgive her of what had happened. as her best friend, give her the love back again and try to work things out. i hope it will work..
@taripres (1499)
• United States
30 Oct 08
I have no problem communicating with the person, but give them an opportunity to play me again, nope, won't happen! Keep them away as far as I can, we can be cool from a distance! Taripre$
• Germany
30 Oct 08
I have forgiven quite a few of my friends before; but I also have a hard time not forgiving. In the end it is all up to you. If you feel like they are being sincere, then you should go ahead and try again. Is the possible hurt again worth the possible happiness?
30 Oct 08
give her a second chance. maybe this time she really want to get friends with you again.