To cut or not to cut?

@TessWhite (3147)
United States
October 30, 2008 12:17am CST
I am trying to decide whether or not I should cut my long hair. I have been trying to grow it out now for over 4 years - my hair grows slowly. Its down around my shoulder blades in back, but its so very heavy, thick, and has waves and curls. Its always so hot and sometimes so tangled I can barely get a brush thru it. My Mom loved my hair as it was growing out, but she is gone now. And I always wanted to be able to braid it in back. But really, whats the point if its so much work? I've never had my hair long before. And I'm wondering why now at 49 I think I need it long. I've been thinking of having it cut into a layered cut that just reaches my shoulders. What do you all think? Cut it and have a simpler way to deal with it, or continue to let it grow and deal with the curls and waves?
8 people like this
28 responses
• United States
31 Oct 08
With your thick curly hair if it gets hard to handle you can always layer it short on top and leave the bottom long, the best of both worlds! I like my hair shorter. It's so much easier to handle and style. With my fibro I can't spend a lot of time with my arms up around my head or I start getting burning pains followed by muscle cramps in my shoulders and neck. With it short I can run some styling gel through it with my fingers and when it's almost dry I have a dryer with a round brush attachment to finish the style then I'm done. Five or ten minutes and I'm finished and ready to go out the door. During the winter I let it get a little longer in back to help keep my neck warm. Right now it's about 3 inches longer than it is in my avatar pic. I'll keep it that way until it the weather starts getting warm again then I chop it off!
4 people like this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Oct 08
I know what you mean. I've got the fibro as well as bone spurs on my spine in my neck. Like you I can't have my hands up for long doing all that work on my hair. Which is why I usually just wash it and let it go curly. Today my neck and hands have been killing me. Arthritis is a pain in the you know what.
3 people like this
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
31 Oct 08
You know what? It's your hair, you're the only one who has to care for it, wear it and so on so do what you want to do! I had long hair, almost to my butt for about 10 years and finally I had enough of it and cut it off all the way up to just above my shoulders and I couldn't have been happier!! I was so glad to be free of the nonesense that I didn't shed one tear but jumped for joy!! But don't take my word for it, only yours. Do what you want to do for it is your hair and you're the one caring for it, right?
3 people like this
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Oct 08
:) One response convinces me to let it grow and another, like yours, makes me think of cutting it. I'm obviously very undecided on this matter. LOL
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
31 Oct 08
Hey tess! What great timing for a discussion about hair growing! I have been driving myself crazy about this very thing now for about two years now! I also have curly, frizzy, out of control hair only mine is thin and dark. I had one of my friends convince me to let my layers grow in so I didn't look like a poodle anymore! So I did and now I don't know what to do with this mess! My hair takes forever to grow because it is brittle and dry and tends to break easily so the length takes awhile to get long. So now it is getting longer and I just don't know what to do with it either. Should I cut it back into layers or let it grow, or leave it? I am going through exactly the same thing as you are Tess and it is driving me insane! I am afraid to cut it into layers again because it took so long to let them grow out! I just can't decide either!
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
31 Oct 08
Hey Girls, Stop torturing yourself. I know money doesn't grow on trees but go to someone that can suggest a good cut for your hair. I don't have frizzy hair I just have thin lifeless hair. I just decided to do what I could with it and be happy. Have you ever used a product called infusium? I used to use it when I got a perm. It really helps the frizzies, at least for me. Good luck my friends!! leenie
@leenie50 (3992)
• United States
31 Oct 08
Tess, I've always wondered why women think they need to have long hair, besides the fact that most men prefer long hair. I was 40 when I decided to cut my hair short. It was the greatest feeling of freedom! Most of the compliments came from other women but a surprising number from men. Any disappointments or dislikes came from men. I say freedom for more than one reason. It felt so right and so good. But best of all, I did it for me. If someone said they didn't like it, I would say, it's a good thing I did it for me then. We can't and shouldn't try to please anyone but ourselves. As we get older we realize that life is too short to be struggling with our hair all the time. I remember when mine was long, I had it pinned up in back because it was so hot to let it hang. When I cut it, it was wash and wear. How great is that. Tess, do what you want, not what anyone else wants. You know what I always say? It will always grow back if I don't like it. If you do decide to cut it, maybe consider donating it to Cancer victims. Trust yourself. Hugs leenie
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Oct 08
Thanks Leenie. I guess part of my "struggle" with this is because I've never, ever had my hair long. Not even as a teenager. I always saw all these girls with long hair in braids, french braids, etc. and wished I could do that with mine. But, I also know some hair isn't meant to be worn that way. Mine is such a frizzy, fuzzy mess at times that I doubt even a braid could tame it. And anyway, its not like the long hair is going to turn me 17 again NOR give me that body back again either.LOL
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
30 Oct 08
When I was little my Mom let my hair grow all the way to my butt full of corkscrew curls...then my stepmom cut it all off when I was 7. Since then it's been long, short, shaved, dyed, permed, braided, you name it. I prefer it short...it's cooler, it's easier to care for and it doesn't weigh down my head. I was actually getting headaches b/c it was so heavy. Hubby likes it long and sometimes in the winter I'll let it grow out some but mostly I keep it short. [b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~ **AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Yes, a few years ago I too was getting headaches. Thats when I cut it some. But, here I am growing it again. LOL I bet your hair was cute as a kid with all those curls. I know my pediatrician I had as a child called me "cotton top."
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
2 Nov 08
It was beautiful but my Stepmom decided it was too much trouble to take of. My Mom was furious when she saw me with a crew cut. [b]~~MY OWN PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG AND BELIEVE IN YOURSELF**[/b]
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
30 Oct 08
My suggestion is to do what ever you feel comfortable with. I also let my hair grow out for a few years. I was so looking forward to just putting it up in a pony tail when I wanted to or put it up or just let it hang. Then I got tired of it and would ask others in my family if I should cut or leave it long and of course they said whatever I wanted to do. So I cut it short, I have always loved short hair so now it is short and the one thing I hate is having to spend the money to keep it short. hahaha
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Yea, see I've always had it short - even when young. This is the longest its ever been. Hmmm now I'm really torn about what to do. LOL
• China
31 Oct 08
it seems to be a dilemma to you.it's not easy job to keep hair so long.meanwhile,it indeeds give you some trouble.i think the key point depends on your decision.you think whether it is valuable or not? or the tangled hair is beyond your tolerance?if you hurriedly cut it ,it never comes back.so pls look before you leap.i kindly wish it won't confuse you.
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
30 Oct 08
4 years is a long time to grow hair just to decide to cut it. But, it's your hair, if you think it would be best, then get it cut. Just think about it carefully though. Think, four years to grow it and only seconds to cut it away
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
So true, so true. And my guy likes it long. I jokingly tell him if he likes long hair so much HE should grow it and deal with it.
@fwidman (11515)
• United States
30 Oct 08
That threat wouldn't work on me, my hair is already down past my shoulders
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
30 Oct 08
Something easier may be nicer for you to work with. I am a hairstylist and I have always told my customers to cut their long hair a bit at a time so they can get used to it. I find that way it is not such a shock and the next time they come back for a trim they can take a little extra off until they are happy with what looks and feels right to them. I never suggest taking off many inches at a time. Unless of course they insist.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Thanks for your input. Yes, my hair would have been long enough to braid by now if I hadn't gotten frustrated and had it cut twice before now. Its like every time it starts to get this long I go cut it, then wish I hadn't. LOL And here I am again.
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
9 Nov 08
I am trying to grow mine longer yet again. I think this is about the 5th or 6th time in my life that I have cut it from half way down my back to shaving my neck it is so short. Oh well at least it's interesting.
@mariposaman (2967)
• Canada
31 Oct 08
You might want to consider trying some sort of detangler product or conditioner so you can comb you hair easier after you wash it. Only you can decide if you like you hair long. I am of the opinion like a previous poster that well maintained long hair is more feminine on a woman. If you wish to cut and your hair is long and unprocessed you can either sell your hair, usually for several hundreds of dollars depending on the length and quality, or donate it to one of the many charities that make wigs for people and children with cancer and alopaecia that need wigs. When the weather is hot you should wear it in a style that keeps your hair up and off your neck like a ponytail or french braid. Yes, I am a guy and I do have long hair but it seems to grow real slow, I guess I do not have the hair growing hormones.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Oct 08
Mine grows slow too. Thats why its taken awhile to get it longer. :)
@ronaldinu (12440)
• Malta
31 Oct 08
I prefer long hair on a woman. It makes her more feminine. Don't cut it if it suits you. If I were you I would let it continue to grow and deal with the curls and waves. What is your haidresser advice?© ronaldinu 2008
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Oct 08
You sound like my guy. He too likes long hair, and even the curls and waves. Wish it was he who had to try and brush it out. When I wash it, it takes about 18 hrs to dry the stuff. I don't have a regular hairdresser. I just pop in once a year or so somewhere for a trim. :)
@sid556 (31002)
• United States
31 Oct 08
I don't think you need to cut it off. Shoulder length is fine at your age and getting it cut with long layers would still give you the length plus lots of body. There are plenty of updos that look really cute now also. I have had long hair for years and because of my age did have it cut to shoulder length a few years back. Have you ever considered a straightner? They even have a chemical one that you can throw in your hair like a perm solution but it straitens insteady of curls. One of my daughters has waist length wavy hair. it is georgeous. She has had hers layered up and sometimes straightens it and other times lets it be wavy. Either way, it is beautiful.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Oct 08
I haven't used a chemical straightner since my teen years. I already color it, and I'm told I can't do both. Besides, with my thyroid condition I'm afraid the straightner might just fry it bad. Thanks for the response.
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
31 Oct 08
I have really long hair and feel it is actually easier to deal with than short hair would be. Short hair always seems to need styling whereas long hair can be combed, blow dried and ready to go. If you do decide to cut your hair and if it is long enough and you have something like "Locks of Love" in your area check into donating the hair for a cancer patient. Human hair can be used to make wigs for children who suffer from this dreaded disease.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Oct 08
Yea I have thought of that. Thanks. :)
@Hatley (164392)
• Garden Grove, California
31 Oct 08
hi tess wear it the length you like thats the best length, dont let us or anyone else tell you nay.A layered cutis nice but dont go real short. short is for guys not women. Do yourself a favor and follow your gut instinct on this.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
31 Oct 08
Short hair depends on the woman. I'm not a thin person, so short hair probably wouldn't do much for me there. But my mom used to get her "boy's cut" as she called it and always looked adorable - kind of like a pixie. But then she had the small frame to be able to wear that cut and get away with it.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Personally I think its nice you have long hair, in fact Iv been trying to grow my hair longer so whenever I hear that someone wants to cut there long hair its a bit strange to me lol because some of us aren't so lucky, but anyway its your choice and if you feel like you want it shorter go with it, but if it were me I wouldn't cut it, long hair is beautiful.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Well I think I may just have to hold off cutting it. I know in the past I've regretted it. So I guess I'll wait awhile, and just do a trim for now.
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
30 Oct 08
I had long hair for a long time. Cut it after I had my daughter 5 years ago. Now it is somewhere in the middle. Cher is over 49 with very long hair still. If you are comfortable with it, don't let age define it. Cut it if you like. It may take longer to grow back, but it will grow back. That is the fun of hair. You can always change it.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Thanks for the input. :)
30 Oct 08
i know exactly how you feel with this one hunny i am having the exact same decision to make. i Have long blond hair at the moment down near the bottom of my back which has took me 3 years to grow, i love it when it is all done and nice, but it seems so much work, its thick which i have razord some out for now which makes it a lot thinner, but i only like my hair totaly straight and have to straigten it very morning with my straighteners and everythime there is a creese or it rains im off again straigterners out other wise i look like iv just roled out of bed, dont get me wrong it is really nice when done but when those days comes when your rushin and you cant be botthers it makes e feel so scruffy it anoyes me, and especialy now its winter it always seems scruffy with all the wind and rain. i would never hav it cut shorter than just below the sholders but its so easyer to manage and even though its lovley the length it is now i think i would feel less scruffy if i had some choped off, but i just cant decide i remember when i first started growing it i asked my partner what he thinks look best he said long so that sticks in my mind now and puts me off having it cut, oh i dont know it is so hard been a woman, i would go with somthing you feel coumfy with and you like.
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Your hair sounds just like mine. If the humidity is low I can blow it out straight. If its raining, or humid I get frizz. Mine is blonde too - with some extra help to keep it lighter from hair color. I know part of my problem is my thyroid. When I first found out I have hypothyroidism several years ago the doctor said my blood tests were so shocking she was surprised my hair hadn't all fallen out. I'm on thyroid meds, but it still seems to keep my hair course, brittle and frizzy - all of which I just hate.
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
30 Oct 08
I"m 50 and mine is very long but it's not all that wavy. I like it and I keep it long because I like it. Do what you are most comfortable with. Could be a nice experiment though to let it grow just a little bit longer and see if you can braid it!
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
LOL Patience isn't a virtue I seem to have. But, since I've regretted it the last two times I have it cut I guess I'll show a little more patience. I think I'll just get it trimmed, and see if they can show me how to style it better and to tame the frizz.
@di1159 (1580)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Since you've been growing it out for 4 years, I'd really think about cutting it before taking any action. You might try going to a wig store and trying on different styles of shorter hair so you get an idea as to whether or not you would like it. You do need to at least trim it to keep it looking healthy. Also, if you want it just above your shoulders, you'll need to leave it longer since curls and waves make it look shorter than it really is. Good Luck!
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Thanks for the input. I think for now maybe I'll just try a trim, but keeping it long. Maybe see if they can show me how to do a french braid or something. Its long enough for that.
@ememCz (139)
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
Hi! I believe a hairstyle goes with one's mood. At 49 and you want long hair, that's pretty good. You can do a lot of styles and play around with hair accessories. Curly hair is in today! It depends on how will you project your style whether be a sweet lady or be a very empowering one. Nevertheless, cutting your hair short would create a new image, a new you. That is also something to look forward to and I know you will enjoy it. Short hair and try rebonds and hair colourings that would fit into your style. :-)
@TessWhite (3147)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Thanks for your input. :)
• United States
30 Oct 08
Personally, if you like curls and waves then great keep it. Sounds like to me you just need it thinned out. And, You can go to a hair salon and get the done. I think before you should cut off four years of hard work you should try to work with it. Go get it thinned. And, if you still have problems with it then get someone who can cut it to make a nice gift to a cancer patient who need hair.