why did i buy them the gifts ... stupid me

Malaysia
October 30, 2008 8:08am CST
.. they asked if i can return it and they come with me to select their own ... how many of you return gifts ..?? it is the festive season, so i bought gifts for my in laws ... 8 "crocodile" brand shirts costing me 120 each and 7 "sarees" costing me 85 each .. my husbands sister called me yesterday morning to ask me if the sarees can be returned as they don like them and want to come along to select their own .. belive me, i cried ... and that actually spoiled my whole day yesterday at work and i did not want to go to work today .. as my mood is out , i am a sensative person .. i never even bought anything for my own parents this festive ... it compleatly surprised me ... i too never liked what they bought for me ..but i used it anyways in front of them and whenever i go to their house i am going to ask my husband to collect it from the sister and tell her that we will give it to charity .. at least those people will thank me and appreciate my kindness ..
2 people like this
8 responses
laydee
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
30 Oct 08
Oh my gosh! The nerve of those people!! There's no excuse to that type of attitude, they should be ashamed of themselves! If I were you, I'd really collect those and not bother giving them gifts anymore. Neither will I accompany them to choose?! Who do they think they are?! I don't think that's being sensitive, I would cry too if someone did that to me, that's what I call total insensitivity on their part?! The shame!
laydee
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
31 Oct 08
Oh.. Maybe that's the reason then, they're frustrated with their lives that's why they're acting that way. They're a bunch of uneducated people who don't see the value of gift giving and the art of sensitivity to your neighbor?! By the way, was this also your mother in law who's 80 who wished to give back the saree?!
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
31 Oct 08
laydee, yes ! This is how my mother in law makes me feel - most of times my mother is the only woman in the whole world who went tru labour pain to deliver babies and had so much difficulties in raising them ... other than her, her daughters also goes tru labour pain ... While other people/woman, like my mother just have to snap their finger and they have a fully grown child ... I too have a sister in law (brothers wife) who is a Graduate and a Director in Corporate Firm, for 12 years i bought for her the similar type and she wears them ... same goes with her children (my nieces) - And me and my sister have full control over our mother on the ways she can treat my Sister in law because i can get vocal with my mother if she acted funny ...
1 person likes this
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 08
hi laydee and this people ... my mother in law is 80, my first sister in law is 50 (married to laborer), my2nd sister in law is 48 (still single n working as clerk), my 3rd sister in law is 47 (still single and not working), my last sister in law is 43( married as 2nd wife but to rich man)... ... and they behave as though they are related to Princess Diana ... cheers
1 person likes this
creative_genius
@creative_genius (992)
•
31 Oct 08
Hmm that is very ungrateful, I've had plenty of gifts that haven't been to my taste and yet I accept them happily as it is the thought that counts. I would never return a gift, it is just plain rude.
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
1 Nov 08
hi creative ... "THOUGH THAT COUNTS" is the right word
sudiptacallingu
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
31 Oct 08
no, I never can think of returning gifts…its downright rude and insensitive. There are many gifts which I don’t like or which I can never use. I accept those gifts with thanks and keep them. I either give them to charity or gift them to someone else.
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
1 Nov 08
yes sudip , give it to others or charity ... i know from beginning that they will not like it but never expected this shame ...
Sreekala
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
31 Oct 08
Hi Sanjana, You are not stupid but loveable and caring. I know they hurt you very badly. You try to think from their side also. They never reject your gift but valuing and just want an exchange for some personal interests. May be they are thinking that they have liberty on you to ask for an exchange. They love you that is why they are taking liberty on you. If they want to insult you they can do it some other way, is it? I am not justifying their deeds but I hope my justification will help to heal your wounds. I don't know them personally but I would like to pacify my friend. All the best and nice time to you.
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
31 Oct 08
hi sree, i am trying my best to be a good daughter in law .. Sree ... i have only negative thoughts against them ... cant help it, there were so much of tears wasted on them ... Believe me they have insulted me in many ways ... My mother in law even insulted me for not having baby, when her son is semi-MONK ... I told her to talk to her son (my husband) .. Dont worry about me, i am a very very patient person ... my mother raised me very very well to respect elders and all human being .. BUT i will cry ..
1 person likes this
CJay77
@CJay77 (4438)
• Australia
30 Oct 08
Hi sajana! They should at least thank you for making an effort to buy them a gift. I'm sorry to hear that your upset at the moment, I would too. Thankfully I haven't receive any gift that I don't like it and If I do I would still appreciate that somebody gave me a present. Take care.
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 08
hi cj, i did receice some sarees that i did not like from people.. i made them into "recycle gifts" .. they should have done that ...and give face to me ..
mercuryman3a
@mercuryman3a (2477)
• India
31 Oct 08
How insensitive of them. Some people are like that. I I have stopped giving clothes as gifts to people as i find that most people are verychosy about buying clothes. My daughters who till they were in school woudl wear anythign ai bought for them. Not today. Today they have their own choices. They have their own preferences of brands and colours. If i go shopping with them i do not give any advice as I know that theywill not buy what I suggest and i will feel bad about it. They take for efver to select a small item. i tell them that they are not buying a life time possession. Clothign has to be worn a few times and then discarded. Why so much of thinking and effort in buying one shirt or a skirt or a trouser? It beats me why theycn't decide and after seeing 10 shops they walk off without buying anything. So i decided never acompany anyone to buy clothes and never ever give clothes as gifts, unless ofcourse you want to feel offended whenthey give it away to a servant or discard it and ever wear it.
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
1 Nov 08
hi mercury, actually .. i was planning to bake cookins for the festive, but got problem in my job and had to stay back almost everynight and was too tired to do that ... My husband earlier had bought a water heater, so giving them money/cash gift we have to spend more that 2k, so he recommended the cloths as it will reduce our cost ... Well we cant expect everyone to be like us , simple and simple .. cheers
seabeauty
@seabeauty (1480)
• United States
30 Oct 08
They should have thanked you and told you they liked the gifts regardless. I think its rude to tell someone they don't like what they got and make them return it.
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 08
hi sea.. i don even mind if they don use it and gave it away to other people ... .. even when i bougt them, i expected such, but i wanted to be the daughter in law ..
gemini_rose
@gemini_rose (16264)
•
30 Oct 08
In my lifetime I have had many gifts from people that I have absolutely hated, but I have never returned a gift to someone and asked them to return it. I think that is just totally bad manners and I would not want to hurt anyone like that. I ams sorry that it happened to you and I am not surprised that you have felt so hurt I would not bother letting them choose anything else and next time I would make sure you buy those that appreciate your kindness.
sanjana_aslam
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 08
they make me mad ...