Why it is said that love marriages are more successful than arranged ones?

India
October 31, 2008 6:20am CST
I have come across many people in life who say that love marriages are more successful than arranged marriages. I think anyways marriage is a gamble because even if you are in love you pretend to be a person which you are not, to some extent if not hundred percent to impress your love. Your true self comes out once you take the reponsibilty of each other that is after marriage. And this is the time to test the true love for each other. What you guys say?
1 person likes this
9 responses
@SViswan (12071)
• India
1 Nov 08
I agree with you. Arranged marriage or love...two people have to make it work and it's not easy. Each one is a gamble. And once people start living with each other, they get to know many aspects they had not even dreamt about (especially in the Indian context).
• India
1 Nov 08
I guess you have to work on your marriage every single day to make it survive for the good of everyone(specially kids if you have any). And you feel like working on it only if their is some love , some bonding between you and your partner.
@SViswan (12071)
• India
1 Nov 08
Love is there in arranged marriages too. It's just that it happens AFTER marriage...and not BEFORE like in love marriages.
• India
1 Nov 08
it's always a gamble even it is love marriage because people differ when you are a lover and after husband, once u become a husband/wife they will become too possosive about you and that may lead to split in your relationship. The same thing in arranged marriage every girl/boy will have a dream about his wife after marriage once it is not satisfied they get dissappointed and that may lead to unrest in life. Thanks for raising the discussion and allowing me to express my view through this discussion
• India
1 Nov 08
I totally agree with you. Thanks for your response
@yenwie84 (1345)
• Malaysia
1 Nov 08
I think both type of marriages are the same either a love marriage or a arranged marriage. It all depends on the couple. The love feeling can always be build up through the process of understanding and communication. I agree with you that a person's true self will come out after that person has committed into a relationship and to build up a family.Thus,understanding and communication between the both person of a couple is very important to create a long lasting and strong bond of relationship.
• India
1 Nov 08
Ya, I think the same way as you.
@dandan07 (1908)
• China
1 Nov 08
I have no idea about it. To me, I think the marriage can last a whole life can be called successful marriage. Maybe more people think getting married with the one you love is a happy thing, so it is much better than an arranged one. But in other side, an arranged marriage always have more things to keep the marriagement stable and long. Ypu know in old China, people can only get married with the one choosed by thier parents, but at that time he devorce rate was quite low. The social power forced people act in a way to keep their marriagement stable. Now young people can enjoy love marriages, but many broken up at last. I think love can not last in a whole life, but something like children, same background, same topics can help to keep the relationship in fresh. Everything has two sides, so if there is good place in it, it must has its shortcomings.
• India
1 Nov 08
Mine is an arranged marriage and we are very happy together. But still i feel that ultimetly it is only love and bonding which works no matter what kind of marriage it is. Thanks for ur response.
@bbsr13 (4198)
• India
31 Oct 08
Hello,Sambhavana! It is a wrong notion.After all marriage is a social institution,it gives sanction to couples to live together for the whole life, may be it love marriage or arranged marriage.The success in either marriage depends largely on dedication,sacrifice,understanding the feelings and emotions of each other and ultimate thing love.In absence of any one of these may seriously mar a married life.But I believe in love after marriage.thanx.
• India
1 Nov 08
love and some bonding with each other, which stops a person to take the drastic step of divorce, definitely makes a marriage successful be it love or arranged. Thanks for ur response.
@shav9292 (928)
• India
31 Oct 08
okay...i will put it this way...dont take it in the wrong way or something.... humans have a tenancy to get bored with whatever they are with for a long time...no matter what it is..you buy a car that you want badly and a car that is not in your wanted list but you still would like to use it....after some time you will get bored of both irrelevant of the choice you made. but in marriages you are not associating yourself with an object,you are associating with another human....but still a person gets bored after some time irrelevant of the type of marriage. a person with strong will,character and respect for a relationship wont even think of getting out of the relationship so easily.. where as a man with no character or respect toward others just wants out.*snap*.just like that. i have seen two couples (love marriage) take divorce for silly reasons. so the bottom line is this-it doesn't matter what type of marriage it is ,it only matter about the two individuals who have decided to become one.
• India
1 Nov 08
I agree with you completely. Thanks for ur response.
• United States
31 Oct 08
What is a marriage without love? Why are you pretending? That is not impressive, unless you are auditioning to be an actress.lol Arranged marriages do not take into consideration love, yet love is the thread that holds together a marriage, otherwise it is just a partnership (like business). I do not agree with the statement, "your true self comes out after..." that is a recipe for failure from the get go!
• India
31 Oct 08
What i meant to say was that whether it is love or arranged marriage love is the only reason to make it successful. And by stating "true self never comes out" i meant to say that there is still something to discover about your partner after love marriage also like in arranged marriages.
• Australia
1 Nov 08
I think that arranged marriages aren't as successful as love marriages as you may not even loved the arranged partner.
@Adesanya (18)
• Nigeria
31 Oct 08
the issue whether a marriage will succeed or not is not a function of whether it is abased on love or arranged, it is based on the parties to the marriage themselves.