My 2 and a half year old?

@bbydollz (114)
United States
November 2, 2008 7:52pm CST
My daughter is 2 and a half and she was completely potty trained. Then about a little over a month ago I had a baby boy. When I brought him home, she started acting out and peeing on the floor and pooping in her pants when she knew she was doing it. Is this normal? She will tell me she has to go and then I rush her to the bathroom just to see that she has done it in her pants, or she will look right at me and pee on the floor with a smile on her face. What should I do? I am going out of my mind trying to clean up after her and I just don't know what to do. Can someone shed some light on this please?
3 people like this
14 responses
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
3 Nov 08
sounds as if she is a bit jealous of the new baby. She probably wants the attention that not too long ago was hers alone. She is forcing you to pay attention by acting out. I think the best way to help her get beyond this is to first of all let her be your helper and involve her in small tasks with the baby. Also you might set aside some special time just for her alone. I know it isn't easy at all but I think it would help. When my kids were small, I used to have a "date night" once a week. I had 4 children and so I alternated. On our "date nite" my husband would stay home with the other kids while I took one out and we'd go to dinner, shopping or movies or whatever.....it was our "alone" time. Sometimes if money was tight, we'd Pack a dinner from home and just drive to a quiet spot and hang out together. It wasn't so important WHAT we did but that we had that time together.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 08
I like the date night part. I guess that would be best for her. Bond with her. Take her to the mall, her favorite restaurant, etc.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
4 Nov 08
It's worth a try. It worked for me. The baby just naturally takes so much attention and time that it is understandable why older kids would feel left out even tho we don't mean for them to be. The "date night" was actually very good for me as well and the hubby also as he had to be in charge where normally I was. It bonded the kids to him as well and gave me a break from juggling everything.
1 person likes this
@katrhina23 (1282)
• United States
3 Nov 08
The 2-year old child is getting insecured with the new sibling. She thought that because a new baby arrived, nobody will give her attention . So she does it her way. My suggestion is to give her the same attention that you were giving her before the baby came. Let her feel that the baby also needs her and make her do some task for the baby. Let her feel that the baby also needs her love. When you cuddle the baby, let her be on your side and give her the chance to hold and touch the baby.
• Philippines
3 Nov 08
Awww your kid is in the Jealous stage...She is jealous of the attention you are giving your new born and she feels left out. What you should do is to assure her that you are still there for her...Lat her know how much you love her...Talk to her tell her she is a sister now and that you will give her a task to do..tell her she has to show her baby brother how to use the potty tell her that she will be the one to teach her brother where to go. When she does something nice praise her..when you are with your baby try asking her if she wants to read him a story or tell her to show baby some pictures in a book...Keep her in the loop when you spend time with your baby...ask her to sing for baby and say how beautiful his sisters voice is..Tell her your brother can't do those yet but I am proud that you can..always give her hugs and kisses as much as you do with your baby. She just wants her mommy for herself. Just let her know what happened and that she is now a big sister and she has to take care of her baby brother and that mommy will take care of both of them. I experienced that since I got 5 of them..Hope it works for you.
@gemini_rose (16193)
3 Nov 08
It is because of the new baby, it is her way of showing you she is not happy with the new arrival. She has been the only one in your life for 2 and a half years and then all of a sudden there is a new little person demanding your attention and being given lots of attention. She will get out of it, she probably feels insecure and unsure of her place in things. I have four children, my eldest was 9 when I had my second boy and he was fine about it but my second son was 18 months old when I had my third son. I remember him coming to see me in hospital, taking one look at the new arrival and he did not speak to me for a week. He would not hug me, look at me or anything he would have nothing to do with me. I just carried on as normal with him and would try and get him involved and eventually he came around and forgot what it was like before his new brother arrived.
1 person likes this
@sunshine4 (8709)
• United States
3 Nov 08
Poor thing, she is jealous. I would suggest when you are changing the baby or fussing with him, include your daughter in the process. Make sure to always tell her that she is your big helper and when changing the baby reinforce how she is a big girl who gets to wear big girl panties. I would start some form or reward system for her when she doesn't have accidents in her pants. Maybe even just alone time with mommy in the evening~ daddy can take care of the baby for 1/2 hour while mommy plays with her. Hopefully for your sake this passes soon.
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12600)
• United States
3 Nov 08
It is normal. She has been an only. And your baby. She wants reassurance that she is still the baby. It is a phase, and she will out grow it. My hope is that I won't have to go through the same thing. My daughter is 5. We will be having a baby in December. Good luck and hang in there!
1 person likes this
@subha12 (18453)
• India
3 Nov 08
I think she is attracting attention. as the baby is new and getting your attention, she is trying to attract attention as well.it is normal as she is also little. take care
1 person likes this
@icegermany (2524)
• India
3 Nov 08
it is the most common problem with all the mothers and i too struggling with this problem. here in my place it is very severe winters and i had to also on heaters in winters and i always put my son diapers but when i had gone to my native i had trained him and he learnt it but then again i had been here and due to winter i had to again use diapers andhe is really use to, to diapers but when it was a summer here i again left him without diapers and trained him and now again it is winter and diapers again so i am really fed up as if i leave him without diapers he tells me that he wants to go to toilet but for his potty he will never tell and he does it in pant and i have to always be behind him to notice whether he is doing his potty in his pant, if i take him to toilet also when he is about to do his potty he will control himself and dont pass it in toilet and this process is still in progress and i am really worried. and i think you should always keep asking your daughter for toilet and take her.
@nishdan01 (3055)
• Singapore
3 Nov 08
She is trying to seek attention. She must be made to understand that what she is doing is wrong. I guess she will soon stop doing that as she gets tired of it.
1 person likes this
@doorgesh (14)
• Australia
3 Nov 08
its normal.she just wants attention
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 08
This is very normal. I wouldn't worry about it. After a while she will get used to it. She used to be the baby not long ago and now she has a baby brother. This is normal because she wants the same attention that her brother is getting. She probably also feels that she is being left out and could be a rebelious phase since she has a smile on her face when she does it. Just keep reasuring her that she will always be her baby but that she is a big girl and that she is a big sister now. One thing that will probably help is let her help you with simple things. Asking her to get a diaper for you, throw a diaper away, getting a blanky for her baby brother, etc. Believe me, these simple things work. We went through the same thing. It's frustrating but it dodn't last long for us after our daughter figured out that she wasn't left out and could be apart of the caring for her brother even is they are in small ways. It made her feel like a big sister. I also spent special time with her when her baby brother was napping also. It wasn't long and she was wanting to do big girl things again and not "baby stuff". Then of course you may go through another stage where she thinks she can do anything including things she's not old enough for. We can't win can we? LOL Good luck with everything!
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 08
Very common, with a new sibling. This also could happen with any big change in their normal daily routine...for example, starting a new daycare, starting preschool, moving to a new home...just about anything that changes their normal comfort zone, can set this off...in my family i have seen it happen with cousins of mine that were trained for as long as a year, and then something big happens and they would regress. The bright side is, it will get better, and as soon as the can get more comfortable with the change, she should go back to going on her own. We read up on this forever the first time it happened with one of my nieces and the suggestions were to handle it the way you did the first time you trained him/her, changing techniques will only take longer to get things back to norm. I knwo it has to be tough to clean up after her with a new baby, but you will get through this...i promise. good luck
@jonesy123 (3950)
• United States
3 Nov 08
She definitely seems to be adjusting badly to having to share your attention with her little brother. I'm not sure what you did to ease the transition beforehand and to get her involved in what is going on with the pregnancy and selecting stuff for the baby. She seems to think you are not paying enough attention to her and this way she gets attention. Jealousy, vying for your attention, feeling left out, all that is a major part in this. While it is generally normal for kids to revert a bit to 'outgrown' habits and behave younger than they really are, this seems to go a bit too far, especially since she is grinning in your face. Basically, you need to reassure her that she is still very much important to you. Make special time for her. Give her some extra TLC. Also make sure to involve her in taking care of her brother. That can be picking out the diaper he gets to wear, the clothes, bringing you things to help you out, anything to make her feel valued but also showing her big sister responsibilities. Little girls love that kind of stuff.
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
3 Nov 08
This is very normal. She sees that the new baby requires attention from you that she is used to getting herself. The only way she has found to gain attention from you is to mess herself. My oldest son did this when his little brother was born. At frist, I was upset and felt quite overwhelmed. My mother told me to ask him to do litle things to help take care of the baby, and tell him how big he is each time he helps. Make special time for him when the baby is sleeping, and tell him that big boys use the potty. It took a little while, but it really did help. He felt like a proud big helper of a brother rather than a kid whose mommy's attention was being taken by someone else.
1 person likes this