Why do you want to share the same bed with your spouse?

@ellie26 (4128)
Malaysia
November 4, 2008 10:43am CST
I don't think it is really necessary for couples to share the same bed. I think it is more comfortable to sleep separately. Early in my marriage, I shared the same bed with my husband. But now, I sleep on my own bed, two single beds in the same room. The reason is my husband moves a lot during his sleep. Sometimes he talks in his sleep and snoring. It really disturb my sleep. I like to have a good night sleep so this arrangement fit in perfectly. What about you?
12 people like this
44 responses
@android (895)
5 Nov 08
We sleep in the same bed but I totally understand what you mean what with the snoring and heavy breathing and then there's the twitching. But, they say that your sleeping habits reflect on your relationship with each other. Sometimes it good to sleep together because first there's the issue of making love and then there's times when you can be affectionate and spend some quality time with each other being sensual. They say that people who sleep seperately or facing away from each other have a lack of communication in their relationship.
3 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
I think you are quite right with the lack of communication in the relationship. My spouse and I don't really have a great communication. But that is not the reason for not sleeping together. Its the sleep quality thats matter most. I think on the making love issue, thats is not a problem. There is always some kind of arrangement for that intimacy.
1 person likes this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
5 Nov 08
For the last ten years of my marriage I didnt share a bed with my hubby mainly because he drank so he smelled of alchohol plus he snored loudly. I got tied of it and started sleeping in another room. We eventually divoced not because of our sleeping arrangements but because of his drinking. I slept much better alone thant when i was with him.
2 people like this
@mssnow (9493)
• United States
13 Mar 09
thanks for best response :)
@littleone3 (2065)
5 Nov 08
I would not be able to sleep if i did not share a bed with my partner. I would miss being able to cuddle up to him. I always lay on his chest and have a cuddle before we go off to sleep it doesn't feel right if we don't do that.
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
That sound so romantic.
1 person likes this
@salonga (28016)
• Philippines
5 Nov 08
Well you have good reasons why you prefer to sleep in a separate bed. There are people like you who can't stand snoring and moving partner in bed as they easily get awakened. Why suffer when you could very well do something to help yourself. It's good you only sleep in separate bed but within the same room. I know of couples who are really sleeping in separate rooms. I'm sure your hubby undertands this. In the first place it is his fault! In my case, I'm lucky to have a hubby who is tamed in bed. He does not snore nor move a lot so we share the same bed. In fact I can't sleep without him by my side. I need the warmth of his embrace and his soothing caress to put me to sleep. And when asleep...no unwanted sounds nor movements, just sweet dreams till the morning breaks. Ha!ha!ha!
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
Oh yes, my husband understand alright. In fact, he likes the idea of separate bed. "I could sleep better" he said.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Nov 08
My husband and I go to bed at very different times. It is now about 4 in the morning and the hubster has been in bed for 5-6 hours already. I'll be heading to bed soon. He will be getting up around 5:30 to get ready for work. I enjoy falling asleep next to him. I like to curl up to him and know he is there. I also like when he leaves for work and I have our entire queen bed to myself. I gett the best of both worlds I guess.
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
Lucky you! We almost have the same bedtime schedule. I sleep around 2 or 3 in the morning and my husband goes to sleep around 9 or 10 at night. Usually, he gets up at 6.30 and goes to work at 8. By then, I am already fast asleep.
2 people like this
@makingpots (11922)
• United States
5 Nov 08
Sometimes my spouse and I sleep apart in the summertime because it is so hot. At those times I usually just sleep on the couch. A lot of the time we will start out together and I will move to the couch when I hear that he has fallen asleep.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
Yeah, when the weather is hot, it is better to sleep in separately. In that way, we can sleep better and more comfortable.
1 person likes this
@kkanaka (887)
• Singapore
5 Nov 08
My husband will have a fit if I say I want a different bed, not that I want, I like to curl around his arms, it feels safe, he also moves a lot, then if it disturbs me I will just move a bit away from him but not separate beds.....
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
Don't that make you sleep less comfortable?
1 person likes this
@jackiew (915)
• Canada
5 Nov 08
I can't sleep without my partner.I just love to cuddle into his back and it gives me a good nights sleep.I don't think i would get a good nights sleep without having him next to me.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
This is very classic for married couple. The intimacy and cuddling all make the love more on fire.
1 person likes this
5 Nov 08
Sometimes its cool and sometimes its not..most especially if its summertime,its really not comfortable sleeping with somebody at your side in the bed,but after working out,its cool having your partner beside you where you can cuddle and hug and show how affectionate you are with each other.but sometimes, i sleep in the living room if i'm mad with my partner and not facing him if we are not okay.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
Well, for young couple, it is impossible to sleep separately. But as aged, we want to have a good night rest and sleep.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Nov 08
That's so old fashioned and quaint!! I like the idea, understand the concept, but I could never not sleep with my spouse. I love the closeness. Plus, when I hear noises in the night, it's comforting to know he's there!!
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
This arrangement might work for other while some just couldn't sleep without the other.
1 person likes this
@dookie03 (578)
• United States
5 Nov 08
uh hmmmmmm......that's a weird one. I could only imagine what my wife would do if we split em up like that. My wife is the one that hogs the whole bed she sleeps on her back alot so she just puts her legs wherever they want. I usually poke her and move her over a couple times during the night it's pretty funny.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
I could only imagine how you can get a good night sleep each night. lol.
1 person likes this
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
4 Nov 08
good for you that you have a spacey room so you can have two single bed in the same room. when i was still living with my husband we dont have or we cant sleep seperately. our house is not that big so we cant do that. now that i am a single mom for 7 years now i can not say yet if i will still have or share the same bed to my partner in the future. i will cross that bridge when i get there
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
Its all depend on our own preference whether or not we want to share the same bed.
1 person likes this
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
4 Nov 08
Well, my parents sleep on completely different floors most of the time. I don't think I would be able to sleep very well that way, but at the same time, I don't know if I would want it to be different, because of it being such a tradition. I guess that will come later in my life!
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
It is kinda weird not sleeping together as couples but I think a good night sleep is important too. So, sometimes we do need to do things differently.
1 person likes this
@samijo719 (1054)
• United States
4 Nov 08
I prefer sleeping with my boyfriend. I feel safe and comfortable when he is in bed with me. He snores sometimes too and he talks in his sleep alot but i tend to have fun with it! lol. Sometimes when I wake up to him talking in his sleep I was talk back to him and see the funny things he will say. I have slept in the same bed with him for so long i'm just not used to sleeping alone anymore.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
Really? Will he remember what you ask him during his sleep? Thats kinda funny. lol.
1 person likes this
@Shar1979 (2723)
• United States
4 Nov 08
I love to sleep beside my husband. He does snore but it's not loud and annoying at all. I think it's kinda weird being married but not sleep in the same bed with my husband. Also, I have the habit of putting my legs on top of his legs or back. He never mind at all. He got used to it already.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
That sound a bit uncomfortable sleeping with your legs on top of his legs or back. I couldn't never have a good night sleep like that. lol.
1 person likes this
@Seppy1984 (2148)
• United States
4 Nov 08
I also will say that my hubby snores,moves around alot, and will even talk in his sleep. But I perfer to sleep in the same bed as him because if I don't I can't get no sleep. That is why I try so hard to try to get him to keep a job during the first shift. Because one time he had to work third shift and it took me forever to fall asleep because he was not next to me. Plus this is the only time we get alone time, with us having children it is hard to get that alone time. So we sleep in the same bed as normal couple should that are married, but don't get me wrong if this is what is comfortable you then I won't judge cause it is your life. Thank you for listening and Happy Mylotting.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
Its alright. Logically and perhaps traditionally, all married couples or stay together couples sleep in the same bed. Sometimes when one is really in need of quality sleep and the other is so 'active' while sleeping, it is just impossible not sleep in another room or bed.
1 person likes this
@rusty2rusty (6769)
• Defiance, Ohio
4 Nov 08
I sleep in the same bed as my husband. I prefer it that way. I can not sleep if he I not beside me. It literally drove me nuts when he was out of state. Since we don't have a couch right now. i went with little sleep. My husband snores sometimes to. I just wake him up and tell him to change positions because he is noring. He does that and I can gio to sleep than.
2 people like this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
5 Nov 08
I can understand what you mean. Sometimes the loneliness, coldness is felt when we sleep alone.
2 people like this
@MizzLadyB08 (1175)
• United States
5 Nov 08
I am not married but I sleep in the same bed with my boyfriend when I go to his house and the same goes for when he comes to my house. Nobody is living in the old days anymore by sleeping in seperate beds. I am glad to share a bed with my partner even if he do snores and moves alot.
1 person likes this
@jackgym (276)
• Australia
6 Nov 08
You must be still infatuated to put up with that disturbance ?!?
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 08
He do not snore loud or anything and if he did I will elbow him in the side until he stop. I just don't live like they did in the old days when they did have separte beds. If that is being infauated then it is alright with me.
1 person likes this
@jackgym (276)
• Australia
6 Nov 08
I couldn't agree more, but my wife and I have taken it a step further, we sleep in different rooms. We were both at fault, I toss and turn, she snores loudly. The only thing I miss is "breakfast" in bed.
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
6 Nov 08
Thats not a problem! Take turn bringing in 'breakfast' in bed.
1 person likes this
@despompa (472)
• Philippines
5 Nov 08
i think it's normal to sleep in the same bed with your husband no matter what his behavior in bed is. i think its not a reason for you to exclude or isolate yourself from your husband. its a very shallow reason. but, i don't mean to question your decision. it's just my point of view.
@jackgym (276)
• Australia
6 Nov 08
I'd like to read your answer to this in a few years!
1 person likes this