November 6, 2008 6:07am CST
We see a lot of ads in newspapers for vacancies for jobs with a lot of requirements. 1. When they say they are giving you a competitive salary they mean that they are paying less than their competitors. 2. When they say they have a casual work atmosphere they mean that they dont pay enough to expect you to dress up well. 3. When they say you must be deadline oriented they would mean that you will already be six months behing schedule on your first day at work. 4. When they say that overtimes sometime required they mean that you have to work overtime some time each night and some time each weekend. 5. When they say duties will vary they mean that anyone in the office can boss you around. 6. When they say you must have an eye for detail they mean that they have no quality control. 7. When they say you must be career minded they mean that the female applicants must be childless (and remain that way). 8. When they say apply in person it means that if you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled. 9. When they say no phone calls please it would actually mean we've filled the job, our call for resumes is just a legal formality. 10. When they say seeking candidates with a wide variety of experience it would mean you'll need it to replace three people who just left. 11. When they say that problem-solving skills a must it would mean you're walking into a company in perpetual chaos. 12. When they say that your job requires team leadership skillsit would mean that you'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect. 13. When they say good communication skills it means Management communicates, you, figure out what they want and do.
4 people like this
7 Nov 08
Gosh! Is this a joke or something real? How did you come to this conclusions mayka? All of them are true and relevant. Heheheheeeeeeeee I had to laugh out before i finished reading. Number 7, 8, 9 are just the domb and they most apply in all jobs heheheheeeeeeee. Thanks for keeping us informed dear. You must have done this to applicants heheheheeeeee.
7 Nov 08
I was reading through some classifieds some days back and came to these conclusions after reading the requirements there. I have not done this to any of my applicants but am worried about the future generation because this is what will be happening to them.
7 Nov 08
A great listing whcih is more true as well ...the day changed But i could say now a days i am receiving a oppourtunites addition which states improve ! listen ! update ! learn more ! get trained ! but no vaccanies or job list atleas to earn something because of the crunch even many companies provides layoff as well..
6 Nov 08
Hi Mayka i wonder what to say and i also wonder how u miss one most important point ion add "they are looking for young, energetic graduates but also want 5 yrs experience" Well i must say that looking for job and fitting in it is not that easy, u need to be quite adoptable. and unfortunately countries when un employment rate is high , So Under employment and Under paid employment is Common, and one hasd to work hard to survive as u can see long queue of unemployeed graduates are waiting to grab opportunity regardless of any salary offerd Its mockingly true post Sadddd
25 Jun 11
We live in a life full of demands. All the time we are asked and if unresponsive answer all the requirements. If when we are born we are not required to eat not survive because we do not know what to do. The requirement, therefore, learn, evolve. We are asked to go to school to learn, to go to work, to win. Every day we ask and ask and we in our turn. It creates a subtle and a little bartering that occurs somewhere in our subconscious. If you ask and the next we do not do, even if he does not say he has a black ball in our mind that we also will not respect what we will ask them. We can ask for example something which for us is an understatement and thus destroy our self esteem or something we may be required to improve our self-esteem, self image and help us greatly in personality development and more choice of skills. We can thus free of requirements for without them we can develop and evolve in society making us and within us.
8 Nov 08
Hi buddies, For applying a job for a vacancy if we selected in that job requirements will be Disciplane helping nature dedicate to work hard working nature sincereity to work in office competition regularity to duty motivation to work technical skills problem solving skills responsibility in the working job good communication to others.