It Had to Happen
November 6, 2008 11:40am CST
Flushed with President Elect Obama's success in the US there is now a concerted attempt to buck the trend and field a "different" candidate in the next British General Election. So far three contenders have thrown their hats into the ring. From the Hip Hop side we are seeing the famous British rap star "I Dribble This Scribble". He's 22 years old and from Smethwick in the West Midlands. He shot to fame with his chart busting anthem "It ain't fair that Yogi was a Bear" closely followed by "I'm in the doo doo but it weren't me it wos Boo Boo". He stands for peace and love and if elected would seek to restore Birmingham as the centre of chewing gum manufacture that was wrestled away by Wrigley's 60 years ago. Second up we have an outsider from Little codling in the Wolds. The Reverend "It's hot in here I may have taken a wrong turn at the gates marked HELL" Tess t'mafaith. Tess was born into a family of evenjelloists and will be campaigning on a hot ticket aimed at mothers to have peanut butter and jelly marketed once more in Britain's supermarkets. "When I was a child you used to have to fight the wasps off the peanut butter. These days they don't come near. Bring back the Jam (jelly) I say". Finally we have Gloriarse Day. Gloriarse first become well known in political circles for her smashing little tea cakes and pastries that she always took to the Kensigtea and Chelcrumpet Conservative Party meetings. Some of you may remember her as the brains behind the infamous "We're in labour, no it's food poisoning" scandal that rocked the Houses of Parliament all the way to St Thomas's Hospital in 2001. Gloriarse hopes that the rather fetching frocks that she likes to wear will catch the eyes of lady voters and deflect any adverse comments about the fact that she may be slightly more masculine than she would have you believe. She hopes that her campaign slogan "I may be a chap but it's better than jelly and rap" will endear her to the shires of England and the hearts of the middle classes. So there you have them. Who would you back and why? Don't be shy stranger things will happen.
4 people like this
• United States
6 Nov 08
I shy away from Political discussions but this is just too funny not to comment on. I pray you are joking. Really I do. But if it comes down to a choice of these 3 I would have to go with the 3rd. I've always said, Hillary Clinton was the best president the US ever had ;)
6 Nov 08
Now that's exactly what I used to think about Boris - and definitely do about his father. But actually he is very bright and extremely clever. Watch him carefully, he is a master of politics and self promotion. He would probably be a Prime Minster in the Churchill mode. I would vote for him too.
• United Kingdom
7 Nov 08
Well, we've already had a "lady" person so I wanna vote for the black one. Sorry, should I say coloured? Well, whatever, I'm not voting for a rap star because the "music" I've heard just lately is already terrible. I don't want legislation about hving to listen to rap or anything and chewing gum makes my mum feel sick so she wouldn't want Birmingham to be the centre of chewing gum. It is, and always will be, the centre of chocolate which is very important and it was invented there you know and grew on chocolate trees in little village called Bournville. I wonder why Mr. Cadbury called in that. Maybe he named it after the chocolate, Bournville, fruit of the bourn tree only found in Birmingham. Oh where was I? The others are all ladies aren't they? Well, I'm not having a women, not after what happened last time. Although, to be fair, the "Iron Lady" was like Hitler as in they both had some ok ideas but were actually quite rubbish at implementing them and actually being a leader. Oh and I don't like peanut butter or the middle classes. Can I vote for someone else entirely? How about Dr Seuss?
7 Nov 08
What black one? I just said different Pumpkin! In fact they are all middle class, peanut butter eating bank clerks and letting agents!!! But why not vote for Dr Seuss. Except that I don't like cats in hats. Let's go to Bournville and pick some chocolate off the chocolate trees and think about it.
• United States
7 Nov 08
I tend to stray away from politics as a whole, but this election was one that I was quite interested in, simply because in the beginning, it was a race against a black man and a woman, two of which have never been Presidents of the United States. It was a new mark in history, so it became a huge spectacle. I'm actually glad that Obama won, but now I'm done with politics until the next new event will take place. I don't know much about politics outside of the U.S., but I can expect that there will be changes soon.
8 Nov 08
They might. I saw an interview with a rap performer that inspired this discussion. Everyone was laughing at him, but he made some good points that even the snooty interviewer had to acknowledge were valid. I've worked with British politicians in the past. Ignorant and self obsessed in the main. The only group that I know of who can actually get a "free lunch" and think that they've earned it!