Do you worry what others think about you?

Malaysia
November 9, 2008 7:22am CST
It's good to be sensitive and consider other people's feelings and thoughts. However, worrying about what others think about you will only lower down your self-confidence. Don't you think so? But sometimes, it can't be helped. My worst nightmare is public speaking. I hate standing in front of crowds because I will be focusing on the audience rather than my speech, concerning about what they'll think about me. lol. but somehow, I'm learning to be more positive now =D Do you worry about this kind of stuff? Do share with me your experience!
15 people like this
64 responses
@coolmailraj (2460)
• India
9 Nov 08
Hi. I do consider what others have to say about me at times. I don't over do at all. It helps me to be self conscious at times. I have never been afraid of anything but I know that I'm not that good looking and hence don't have an edge when it comes to presenting yourself to public, but still I think that at most of the times I do o.k.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Nov 08
yea! i know exactly how u feel just yesterday my mom ran into some friends of hers and they were telling her things about me and my mom said she felt embarrased by what they were saying and that made her feel ashamed. its not like my mom did'nt already know that about what they were telling her about me they just put extras in it my mom friend was like i saw your daughter on the bus with some guy and she was sitting on his lap and i heard her using profanity. i was like soooooooooo what does that have to do with u im basically grown.i hate when people judge others but dont really look at themselves i would rather for them to have told me rather than my mom because to my mom im like still a little girl. u know what i mean?
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
10 Nov 08
Ack! If one of my friends started talking about my kids in front of them like your mom's friends were discussing you, I'd tell them to bug off, wrong time to share details like that lol. If you weren't there, there was still no reason for her to feel ashamed, if you're an adult you make your own choices, surely she knows that.
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
yeah, i understand. it's all gotta do with 'people'. You just got to believe in yourself. Your mom will obviously be embarrass because it portrays that she doesn't know how to educate her children. It's a matter of believe and trust! thanks alot for dropping by and sharing. all the best!
1 person likes this
@madekun (70)
• Indonesia
9 Nov 08
I'm trying to be balance. Mean, I focus on myself but considering other thought about me too. because other thought might be important to myself development to become a better human. So, I'm filtering what other thinks or say about me. If I found that their thought was good to me -although they said it on a rude form of sentences-, I'll take it, if it is not, I'll leave it.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
It's good that you take criticism, peoples thoughts about you and improve from that. I do believe people will develop fast if you think what others say is not a hindrance to you. Thanks and Take care! Happy mylotting
@rizzu87 (860)
• Malaysia
9 Nov 08
This is the same feeling what i have. I hate public speaking and recently i had this subject PUBLIC SPEAKING in my university in which i had to speak in front of people. That was damn difficult. At one instance i start thinking that let everyone go to hell i will live the way i want to but later I start thinking about others feeling and what would they think about me more than what i feel. I really hate this thing of mine but i am like that, Infact i dont want to be like that
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
lol. same as me! i prefer others will be talking among themselves, not concentrating on me.. and i just deliver my speech XD
• India
9 Nov 08
No. i dont worry about that. I live for me and for my family. So I just dont care about that. Others can say anything about me. But i cant disturb them. They can do anything whatever they like. I do whatever I like. so i cannot worry about others.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
I'm happy for the way you're thinking. Thanks for sharing!
• India
9 Nov 08
Its always give u a better idea to know how the others think about you. But that doesn't matter you change the way you live. One should admire the others comment and try to improve on self if there is any thing to. But sometimes it could be misleading as well . So be what you are at the same time respect others . most important thing is to be positive.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
It's true it gives you a better idea but sometimes, it's your ownself, cannot take criticism. But im improving now and then.
@fedge098 (1330)
• Philippines
9 Nov 08
I used to be like that - thinking what other people are going to say if I do this or that. In a way it made me conscious of my acts and sometimes feel a bit more shy that before. But then I realized this act may hinder me from being what I wanted to do or say, I thought its still better to be more open so people around me will know me more. Though it still is a good thing to be aware of what the other people may think - this is to atleast avoid them from getting offended or feeling uncomfortable whenever I'm around them. Being open and aware of the people around us is a better idea for me.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
9 Nov 08
Compared to being kids, as we grow up, we are more conscious of our acts. Especially someone like me, a shy and quiet person. I'm learning to be open :)
@derek_a (10874)
10 Nov 08
I would say it depends on who it is that would be thinking badly about me. As a therapist, I often become the recipient of many bad opinions as I need to tell my clients what they don't want to hear quite often - or I wouldn't be doing my job properly. In this case, it is totally OK for them to think badly about me, I reallyi don't mind. When it comes to public speaking, I have done it loads of times as I used to run self-development groups. The only way to gain confidence is to accept that there are going to be nerves, share it with the group (as this gives you the feeling that it's natural to be nervous), and it will disappear and can even change to a feeling of elation. The more groups you do, the easier it will become, but I found before every single group, I always felt a bit nervous - this is natural and it's OK. The mind worries as a way to protect us - it is the instinct of self-preservation. From the earliest times, human have always feared rejection by their own kind. :-)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
Thanks for your advice. Yeah, I'm learning bit by bit, step by step.. =D
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
10 Nov 08
We are all humans, so it is natural to be self-conscious. That's nothing wrong with that, I feel. Most people I know have this trait, including myself. When I attend a function, I try and attire appropriately and would like others to look up to me and treat me with self-respect. When I stand in front of an audience and deliver a talk or speech, I want to project myself well and do a confident delivery, and I want my audience to think that I am an eloquent speaker and know my stuff. Even in office, I am always sensitive to how my bosses view me and my work. I will want to be in their good books so I always have to be aware of how I perform and do my best to earn praise from them. From these examples, I'd say that being conscious about yourself can be a good thing (provided one does not over over-indulge in it) because it can make us care more about how we project ourselves to others.
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
Wow, yeah! That's it! That's what i thought as well. Well said.. It's all because of how others will look at us. Thanks for your valuable sharing.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
10 Nov 08
Hi snoopie, I suppose everyone cares about what others think of them, even those who say they don't, it seems to be a part of being human. Of course there are those who take it to the extreme as I did when I was very young but not anymore. I still care to a certain extent but I don't worry about it anymore. Public speaking is something I've done for most of my life and and it can be very enjoyable when you can relax and no longer worry about what people think. Blessings.
• Malaysia
11 Nov 08
Talking in front of crowds is enjoyable? I have not reach till that stage yet. For me, in front of classmates is still okay. Thanks for sharing!!! xD
@Annmac (949)
10 Nov 08
I think that we all worry about how others see us at some time in life, particularly when we are younger. However we also have to learn that no matter what we do we can't live up to other peoples views anyway and we can't please everybody. Someone will always find fault or criticise us! Now the only people I care about are those closest to me, the ones who know me and accept me as I am. Other people don't matter! We have to be true to ourselves and if that means not always agreeing with others or acting or dressing in the way they think we should, then so be it! I don't expect others to change so why should they expect me too? Just be yourself and when giving a public talk be passionate about your subject and let that speak for you. I admire you, I'm a nervous wreck if I have to talk in front of a small gathering. Public speaking would terrify me!
• Malaysia
11 Nov 08
Yeah, that's true. someone out there will find fault in us. We can't please all. Admire me? *face red* I'm still in the process of learning. I'm also nervous all the time. Gather your confidence and deliver it! All the best and Thanks for sharing.
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I used to be a very shy person. I used to worry about what people thought of me. (I cannot speak in public and feel the same way as you do about it). I don't think not liking to speak in public or give speeches has anything to do with how I think people will think of me. I just don't like being the center of attention. But I no longer care what people think of me. I am comfortable with who I am, and that is all that counts. I am fond of saying, if you don't like how I look, don't look. If you don't like the rules of my house, there's the door.
@quinnkl (1667)
• United States
11 Nov 08
I saw how prejudiced and judgemental people are and it really bothered me. People judge without knowing people and they can be really nasty about it. And I decided it wasn't worth spending my life trying to please other people. I need to spend my life being myself irregardless of what people my "think" of me. And that is what I do. And it feels good!
• Malaysia
11 Nov 08
Thanks for your respond. I'm comfortable with who i am as well. But what started to make you not to care about the surrounding people?
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
10 Nov 08
Not usually. I think worrying what others think of you is a waste of time and concern. I only worry if I have somehow offended or hurt someone I care very much about, and I knew something I did would hurt them but I did it anyway. If it's something that just happened and I didn't even realize it, then I can't really worry, although I can apologize.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I also believe that being happy with yourself goes a long way toward how you treat others. You aren't influenced as much to cater to others or get taken advantage of if you are happy with yourself, and in turn you will draw people toward you who are good rather than bad influences. Obviously you do still want to treat others kindly but not to the point where you sell yourself short. A certain amount of self protection is healthy.
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
It's true, it's only a waste of time, but it can't be helped. Yeah, worry about offending people is also another thing. I'm afraid that they'll keep it in their heart, by themselve.. then take revenge on me in the end. Thanks for dropping by
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
10 Nov 08
It's probably an age thing, but as I've gotten older, I've come to the thought that if I like myself for who I am, then the rest will take care of itself. It's a shame, but we spend our youth trying to be liked by everyone else, so much so that we don't learn to like ourselves. Listen to your heart, hear your own wisdom, and act in a way that you yourself are proud of, even with giving speeches. The rest WILL take care of itself.
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
11 Nov 08
LOL...with today's modern medicine, we're a long time 'old'. Enjoy being where you are in life, but work on liking yourself more. Really! The rest becomes easier!
• Malaysia
11 Nov 08
I think i may still be at the stage of 'trying to be liked by people', i guess. ha ha! Thanks for your advice. Take care.
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
that is also my problem. I want to do things but I am afraid of what other people would think or react. So afraid that I usually end up not doing anything at all. I dnt wana mess up or get embarassed. My husband would say that I am so paranoid, that I would assume that people are thinking negative things about me when in reality, they are not. Most of the time, I would rather just fade into the shadows. I guess it came from a childhood of always trying to please and not being good enough in the eyes of my parents. Am trying my best to care less though... trying to be less afraid of what people would think...
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
Thank you for sharing. I'm also a person who is embarass over something, even if it's just a small thing. I hope the advices in this discussion helps you as well. All the best in the future!
@Amberina (1541)
• United States
10 Nov 08
I really don't care what people think of me. I guess I just have other things to think about. I see everyone on the same level no one is higher than me but God.
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
It's good to hear that you put God above all. God bless!
@jstmarfz (1498)
• United States
9 Nov 08
Sometimes we can not really stop our self to be worried what other may think or say about us. Though we can not stop them about it. With me, people can say and think negative about me which I really do not care that much. As long as I am happy of what I am doing, that is all that matters to me. But when people step behind their limit, that is when I am going to respond. Once can be forgiven, second time can still be forgiven but in the third time is too much and that will be enough.
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
Yeah, we can't stop them. Wow, yor're pretty agggresive. If people were to talk bad about me, I'll just keep it all to myself. Thanks for sharing.
@leateagee (3667)
• China
10 Nov 08
I do agree with you that we need to be sensitive with other people's feeling but most people are not sensitive about other people's feeling. Only a few educated and well-breed are concern about this matter. People are people and we cannot stop them from stating their opinion. I do worry abut what others may think of me when I am facing a group of people especially if I have to present something. I know deep inside that I cannot please anybody but still I always put in my thoughts that at least I may be able to satisfy or entertain half of the crowd of what I can and what have I prepared of. I am a teacher and I am not used to facng the crowd. When I started to become a teacher I need to learn how to face parents meeting. Every time I will have a parents meeting I have terrible stomachache which is awful. I really wish there are no meetings that I have to be alone in front talking to people older, more mature and more educated tan me. Take care =)
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
Same! Butterflies in my stomach.. It's like facing objections. As for you, everyday facing people younger than you, it's easier. I believe that my ex-teachers have problems when it comes to meeting parents as well. I remembered a teacher of mine, her voice was shaky when talking to my mother. I believe a lot of us have the same problem, but it's whether you care about it or not. Anyways, thanks for dropping by :)
• United States
9 Nov 08
I'd like to say no I'm not concerned with what others think about me, but I think we all are in some small way. If we just went about our daily lives oblivious to what others around us thought about our thoughts and actions, I think we would be a very inconsiderate bunch. It's good to be yourself and stay true to yourself, but you must keep other's feelings in mind.
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
Thanks for your respond. I am being my true self, but at times I tend to be not myself in front of people, especially with unknowns. thx for your advice
@nimnim74 (250)
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
Before I am so conscious about what they think about me but now not anymore because I've learn that you cannot please everybody even if you already done your best shot they are people who are in nature a complainer and keeps on thinking bad impressions about you.
• Malaysia
10 Nov 08
Yeah it's like, when others doing their presentation in front of a class, surely you can hear your friends talking behind their back. My classmates are like that, but i try not to get involve.