"Bad Boys" vs "Nice Guys"

@tessah (6621)
United States
November 12, 2008 8:48am CST
ahh the age old repeatatively asked question of WHY women always seem to choose the man who treats her badly.. over the "nice" guy. im going to pose a scientific theory and possible answer here to the masses after some profound collaborations with Death on the subject. ive seen men turn themselves inside out attempting to find the reasoning and logic behind the mind of a woman who has ditched them for someone so utterly unsuited and "bad" for her, casting aside the loving.. nurturing respectable male and opting for the badass exconvict dangerous type. its instinct.. pure ingrained hardwired instinct.. towards the survival of mankind. survival of the fittest.. take a trip backwards in time with me if you will.. to the time of neanderthal and caves.. example one.. the "sensitive" caveman.. dreamy pondering male.. staying in his cave minding his own business.. drawing his little cavepaintings.. composing little ballads on his drums.. frollicking thru the jungles and forests just skippin along pickin wildflowers and marveling at the patterns in the clouds.. oh lookie! a unicorn! example two.. the primal growl of the hunter.. who couldnt give two licks of a care for art.. or poseys.. fact, more than likely doesnt even notice them as he stalks the prey through the underbrush. dark, forboding.. the Killer.. sneaking up on mister sensitive as hes distracted by the herd of whales passing across the azure blue above him.. bashing his head in, and dragging his lifeless carcass back to his den to feast. mmm poet.. its whats for dinner! (dont get yer panties into a knot here.. canibalisms back then were perfectly acceptable.. food was food, and ya took whatcha could get) which of the two would be more likely to survive? further propagate the species? considering mister sensitive is being served up on a spit.. id say example two has the better chance at waking up another day to find a new target. *nod* the instinctual need to breed within the female of our species remembers this day and age.. and is hardwired deep within her psyche to be more attracted to and seek out he who would live another day. the sweet gentle sensitive male lacks the testosterone levels for a hardcore sexdrive... theyll be faithful, loyal.. but quite frankly theyd rather read a book or listen to classical music and cuddle than they would to get laid on any regular basis. the rough and tumble fellow is seething with the aggression inducing hormone, which is also why they are more likely to seemingly need more than one female (ie cheat) , as they just cant frigen get enough! which would fulfill the basic need to breed to further continue the human race? so now boys.. you have yer answer. insert comments input and further data below. for science!!
2 people like this
7 responses
@myklj999 (17024)
13 Nov 08
Not all "nice" guys sit in the cave dreaming. If the woman wants to be an idiot (my opinion) more power to her. Personally, I think your answer is flawed. I'm a "nice" guy; but I sure as hell know how to hunt, and I know how to keep my eyes open in the back of my head as well. Face it. Women go for the "bad" guy because they think that being punched in the face occasionally is what they deserve. Won't be no "breeding" going on after the a$$hole kills her, will there?
1 person likes this
@Rosekitty (19438)
• San Marcos, Texas
13 Nov 08
Good Points and have thankfully never had to deal with that crap....How you feeling today? I sure hope you have someone there to help somewhat..Huggs and kitty kisses..where's Carmel?
@cbreeze (1207)
• United States
13 Nov 08
I disagree totally. I was attracted to what I considered to be bad boys, but I NEVER was abused. NEVER. I didn't grow up that way and wouldn't tolerate it from anyone. Not a bad boy or a nice guy. Let's face it, there are just as many so called nice guys out there that are abusive.
@tessah (6621)
• United States
13 Nov 08
WOW! bitter much? lol this wasnt meant as a slam against the males personality, (and most of you are taking it as such and attempting to defend yer congenialities and strength combined) or to say that either side was more valueable.. but an explanation into the womans psyche and to offer up a theory of the unexplainable.. even by those who exhibit the behaviors. if youll notice.. most of the posts by the estrogen sect who have panted over a "bad" boy, are saying they have no idea WHY they went that route.. but were compelled to do so without any logic whatsoever.
• United States
13 Nov 08
I think that some women just like to be dominated. I don't. Most of the women in my family were the same way, but I do not want to be dominated by anyone. I am with a guy who is very nice, sure he has his flaws, what man doesn't? The thing is that nothing good can come from a guy who treats a woman badly. If he is hurting you now, he will never change, no matter how much you think that you can get him to change. Most all women think that they can change the bad boy, and they fall for him because he is such a rebel, because he is a "tough guy", but guys like this are @$$holes. They will always treat you like trash, and they will always disrespect you. They make horrible lovers, and they can make terrible fathers. I do not want my children to have the kind of fathers that my brother and me had. What kind of example would they set for them? Women, if you know what is good for you, stay away from the "bad boy".
1 person likes this
@cbreeze (1207)
• United States
13 Nov 08
Maybe some women do like to be dominated. Maybe that's the attraction for some. But it wasn't for me. I have a very strong personality and I am very head strong. I've always been attracted to men with equally strong personalities. Someone who could meet me head on. I guess I always liked the challenge. I liked being that woman who could tame the bad boy, at least when he was in my presence. Not that I dominated him either.
@tessah (6621)
• United States
13 Nov 08
i, same as cbreeze, want someone who will challenge.. push.. and meet me toe to toe and not cower in my own shadows of strength. if i wanted a lapdog.. id buy a poodle. i want a man that will stand up and face off with me.. not whimper in the corner with his "tail" curled tween his legs. not all strong men are "bad boys" in my description of the term here.. and i dont wish to be dominated to the point of being controlled.. but i DO like a man thatll take charge, take lead, and make decisions with their own mind, rather than cowtow to my every whim and fancy. no one respects a doormat bearing roses thats too askeered of his own heartbeat to grab hold and take what he wants.. and i cant be with someone i cant respect as an individual (that doesnt respect THEMSELVES) perfection? one who will have a handful of roses while the other is gripped into my hip holding me fast. ahh Balance
@radairc (98)
• United States
13 Nov 08
I agree, but you already knew this, as I posed this answer earlier. This is not meant to be demeaning to men, just to maybe explain why some women tend to instinctually gravitate to the badboy types. The upside is that most of us tend to outgrow the hardwired conditioning and realize the value of the not so badboys.
1 person likes this
@gemini_rose (16193)
13 Nov 08
There is just something so appealing about a baddun, who knows why it is just that first attraction of knowing that they are bad. Yeah I am talking from experience I was always attracted to the badduns, they were so exciting well until I ended up with a belly full and then it was not so much fun. In fact it was downright awful, luckily though I was not the kind of girl to take to kindly to a man controlling her every move and then beating her when she dared to speak back and I got away. Straight into the arms of another one, but being a new mum by this time I realised I had jumped from the frying pan into the fire and was also lucky to get away. I was actually lucky to walk away from that situation with my life, when I think of it now I realise I was lucky that day! Lesson learned though then and there were no more bad boys for me.
@tessah (6621)
• United States
13 Nov 08
feh the first "bad boy" i was ever with, i was 17.. and i met him while he was in jail. sort of a pen pal thing goin on. hed come into town for a parole hearing, and had asked i meet him at the court house, and of course, i did. having never been in a courthouse before, i had no idea where to go or who to ask etc etc.. and i finally found out hed been denied the parole (he was doing 3 years for armed robbery) and was in holding waiting to be taken back to correctional.. and some guard took pity on me, escorted me down to the cell. also having never seen him before, i had no idea which of the men were him.. the guard laughed at me, called his name out and he came forward.. leaned hisself across the bars and looked me square with the greenest eyes id ever seen. he was, at that time, the most beautiful creature id ever beheld in my entire life.. and it was all over after that. i spent 6 years off and on being at his beck and call inbetween jail sentences. there was one day.. some guy had drove by and said something rather nasty to me.. and unfortunately for him, it was during one of scott`s freedom stints, and he came from out of no where ( i thought i was all alone..can you say stalker much?) dragged the guy out of the car window and beat the living sh|t out of him, and left him in a heap in a parkinglot, and whisked me off to safer avenue. word spread rather quickly and being tagged as "HIS" from then on.. no one ever screwed with me.. regardless of where i went or what time of night.. i was protected just by the association.. from everyone BUT him. therein lies the downside..
@gemini_rose (16193)
13 Nov 08
Blimey tessah, that sounds like something I would read in one of my books! I think my life has been tame compared to yours!
@tessah (6621)
• United States
13 Nov 08
heh there are other stories that pepper the existance of me.. someday maybe i will relay more. scott.. was prolly one of the most destructive relationships ive ever been in. when he was sober.. he was a pussycat. loving, beautiful, kind and considerate. but throw a few shots into him.. and he went homocidal and vile. lots of psychological scarring that needed serious patchwork there. im very happy i lost my taste for convicts..
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
13 Nov 08
I don't think that's always true in society. There's no with totally that stereotype. All are a mix of Mr. Sensitive and The Killer. Though one characteristic would dominate, it doesn't always happen that way. Mr. Sensitive could be a Killer in some parts, and the Killer is also Mr. Sensitive at others. Like for example, Mr. Sensitive may like poetry but Mr. Killer may like heavy metal (which also could be considered art). Another would be hobby, maybe Mr. Sensitive is more attuned to landscapes while Mr. Killer like to hunt his game both are hobbies and doesn't mean than the latter is better than the former. Another characteristic which proves the untruth of the theory would be testosterone. Doesn't mean that Mr. Sensitive doesn't have a huge physique, maybe he's able to have them due to the constant skipping around the forests. Of course if Mr. Sensitive is to eat, he needs to hunt too, right? Domestication of animals haven't been practiced yet in their time, so both I guess do know how to hunt. Thus making 'hunting' not a sole skill for Mr. Killer. Now about female preference. I think women are more inclined to someone who could best support her and protect her from harm. Yes, we do like the hunky male but it's just for viewing purposes, because when we do choose someone, it's not only through physical. I for one don't like men with muscles. I find them too 'heavy' and unappealing. I'm not also with the 'tanned' men, I like them neat and clean. Plus yeah, I may like men who don't notice me much because there's a challenge to it, his tastes are not common and like men or women, we truly appreciate a catch that we fought for. I guess it goes for both sides. Men who are tougher looking like their girls tough too, while men who are more gentlemanly would prefer their women ladylike too. Unless of course there's the usually 'attraction of the opposites'.
@Rosekitty (19438)
• San Marcos, Texas
13 Nov 08
I'm not into the Caveman type..I like to be treated the way i would treat them with Love and respect..mutual kindness..communication and flowers once in a awhile..I would love to have the type of person who would after 40 years still look at me like it was his first..
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
13 Nov 08
I never go for the bad boys at all, for relatinships atlaest. They do however, bring some kind of excitement. When I have a "bad boy" interested it feels kind of like a rush. I also have some fantasy that no matter how many things they have done, I would be the girl thats worth it enough for them to see the light or whatever you want to call it. Thats how I feel about the situation. I always usually end up with the really nice respectful guys, but Ive always wanted to be THAT girl that was worth it enough for him to want to be a better guy.