spank

@riyasam (16578)
India
November 12, 2008 9:56am CST
is it ok to spank kids if they are not eating properly.as a mother i often feel sad to see my daughter of 6yrs not eating properly.doctors have told me that it is my duty to see to it that she puts on,as being underweight is not good for her mental health.
6 people like this
35 responses
• India
29 Dec 08
I spank my 9yr old only for his studies. There is a general agreement between us on what type of food he likes and what types he has to eat. We have found a compromise formula by which I have to make some of his favourite dishes thrice or four times a week and he in turn has to have something from a list of must-have foods daily. Till now we have managed to survive without any major war on this issue.
2 people like this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
5 Jan 09
that is a good idea!!!i have to try it.
1 person likes this
@jpso138 (7842)
• Philippines
29 Dec 08
I don't thing it would be okay to spank your child if she does not eat properly. Emotionally there could be some side effects. I think you could go for some reward and incintive program. I am sure that she does like a certain kind of food. So this could be your way. You can tell her to eat healthy foods or the foods that you prepare and in turn she can have her favorite food.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
5 Jan 09
she likes like sour foods.i give it only after she has her regular meal.........
1 person likes this
@dio123 (1790)
• India
24 Dec 08
I do not believe in beaten kids but sometimes it becomes necessary, but still I try much to avoid beating them
2 people like this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
24 Dec 08
i also do avoid beating,i try giving other positive reinforcements.
1 person likes this
@SViswan (12072)
• India
24 Dec 08
I don't know if it's okay or not and I won't say that I do not spank my kids. But I've never spanked for eating. Touch wood...never had a problem on the eating front with my older one...and only a few times with my younger one. But spanking wouldn't work anyways....he will just get more stubborn. I'd rather ignore it than spank...or maybe figure out other ways to get the food in.
2 people like this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
24 Dec 08
it is not that she doesnt like the food,she just do not seem to have the appetite,i do not know its reason.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13818)
• Quezon City, Philippines
14 Nov 08
Well I would not encourage parents from spanking their children to enforce something they need to do. I think the best would be words of encouragement rather than putting fear in her just to force her to eat. In my case I do have an underweight child but never did I enforce him to eat by inflicting fear on him. It is somewhat hard at times but he has already gained weight because he much appreciated that we parised him for doing a good job in his eating habit.
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@riyasam (16578)
• India
14 Nov 08
oh,i give her lots of encouragement,but she becomes stubborn all the more.hope it is just a phase.
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@rsa101 (13818)
• Quezon City, Philippines
14 Nov 08
Well it does work for me, although its true that sometimes they become stubborn. When this things happen I would remove certain privileges from him to let him realize consequence for not following me. Immediately after following I praise him for being such a good boy.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
14 Nov 08
i will try to do that.oof!parenting does require lot of patience.
1 person likes this
@brian_s (570)
• United States
20 Dec 08
I'm not sure about spanking her for eating. I think that for eating issues, it may be more helpful to try a variety of foods. Most kids that age have food issues, don't they? But spanking as a punishment in general does not bother me, even though most people around here think it's a bad thing to do. I think there is a wide range of discipline techniques that can properly be used. I have seen spanking used wrongly though, just out of anger on the parent's part which i do not like. If spanking happens, I don;t think it should be done from anger, and should not be done too hard.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
21 Dec 08
i donot agree to spanking as a form of abuse.
@brian_s (570)
• United States
22 Dec 08
I think any form of punishment can become an abuse, whether physical or emotional. But I don't think that because something can become abuse if done in anger or overdone, that it means it shouldn't be used at all. I think that which types of discipline to use is a very personal decision parents must make.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
22 Dec 08
yup,that is true.i think children are parents responsibility.
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
14 Nov 08
Personally I would rather seek an alternative to spanking because in time the child will start to associate food with physical punishment and will begin to rebel even more every time they have meals put in front of them. Two approaches that I have seen work very effectively were to involve the child in the preperation and cooking of the food as it gives them pride and ownership of what has been made and they tend to want to eat what they have created! And the second approach is to present the food in a fun manner such as cutting vegetables into cute shapes, calling broccoli "Baby Trees" and things like that. If neither of these two approaches have been tried before, I do recommend it.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
14 Nov 08
i have tried the first.she ends up messing everything,making more work for me(as if i have less work).she is so full of energy,that she ends up doing the things which she is not supposed to and the end result is she wont eat anything.do you have third approach,the second one looks like hard work.
1 person likes this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
14 Nov 08
No I don't have another option unfrotunately riya. Nothing in life comes easy when it involves trying to change the habits of children I'm afraid and there is never any "quick fix" for something like this. It may take a lot of effort initially but it will pay off in the end! I have to head out the door now, so have a great day.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
14 Nov 08
yup,NO GAINS WITHOUT PAINS.good day to you too
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56217)
• Delhi, India
24 Dec 08
A little bit of spanking is alright, when kids are not obeying your commands, but it should be made as a habit. If we spank the kid every time, she/he might become stubborn and start taking it lightly.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
24 Dec 08
yup,i did notice that she is becoming stubborn.all my shouting is falling on her deaf ears.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56217)
• Delhi, India
29 Dec 08
Then restrict your spanking to few occasions.
2 people like this
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
You don't have to spank to your kids when they are not eating properly. You can use other ways in order your kids to obey you. You can give them other punishments or you can use a reverse psychology to your kids. It is really effective. Even adults, when used a reverse psychology, they will still follow. How much more your kids? Right? Try it for yourself.:) Happy Holidays!
@riyasam (16578)
• India
21 Dec 08
thanks for your advice. merry christmas and a happy new year.
• Philippines
21 Dec 08
Your welcome. Happy posting discussions!:)
@idowrite72 (2214)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Children will eat when they are hungry and spanking will not make them eat. That is not the solution. Some children are just tiny. I have 2 grandsons who are 15 months apart and the younger one is bigger than the older one, who is very skinny. Encourage her to eat, but do not spank her. That would not be good for her mental health, as well.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
5 Jan 09
you are right.i think she has gone on me,i am also averagely built.
1 person likes this
@okwusman1 (2249)
• Abuja, Nigeria
22 Dec 08
yes, actually it is good to spank a child if she or he is doing anything wrongly including eating. Spare the rod and spoil the child. But is better to use the rod and make the child. Most children lacks parental care and discipline that is why you see them misbehaving. cheers!
@riyasam (16578)
• India
22 Dec 08
thanks for your comment.
@rtslvtwy (1088)
• Malaysia
21 Dec 08
Sometimes we as parents should be a little more creative when it comes to handling children rather than to resort to spanking. In my opinion, I do not encourage spanking at all. Kids being kids they are choosy in their food. Even we as adults also sometimes tend to be choosy in our food but we just approve ourselves to do it. If we can allow ourselves to do it, why not the child ? Anyway, you may try to use some creative ways or positive reinforcement or some reward system to encourage your child for eating properly. Provide them some positive encouragement rather than nagging and scolding them. As a Child Psychologist myself, I would never agree with spanking at all.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
21 Dec 08
thank you for your advice.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
20 Dec 08
Thanks for the best response.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
21 Dec 08
you are welcome.
@Carolyn63 (1403)
• United States
17 Nov 08
I think spanking to create good eating habits is just asking for an eating disorder issue later on down the road. Have you considered expanding her choices of foods? Perhaps offering snacks in between meals? I have had several good friends that were under weight. They didn't have any mental health issues. The pressure to put on weight was more disturbing to them than their weight. Have you checked into their metabolism, thyroid, etc? Have you looked into high calorie diets?
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
24 Nov 08
i did get her checked though i think i have ommitted checking her thyroid.now that you have mentioned,i think it is very neccessary.
• Canada
17 Nov 08
In my opinion I don't think any child should be punished for not eating. Kids will eat when they are hungry you cannot force them and if you do manage to force them it could cause them to be obeise when they are older. Who cares how small your child is he/she will eat when he/she is hungry and doctors do NOT know everything.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
24 Nov 08
thanks for your response.
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
16 Nov 08
Spanking a child for not eating is not good for her mental health, either. The dinner table table should not be a battle ground. Your child will eat when she is hungry. However, if you try to force her to eat, she may rebel and try to punish you by refusing to eat. Provide nutritious food and set a good example by what you eat. You probably should provide supplements for the first few years, though.
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
24 Nov 08
thanks for your response.
16 Nov 08
please don't spank your little girl for not eating properly. when my son was small , he was a real problem eater. apart from not eating 'proper' food, he didnt like chocolate(which is a surprise) for years he would nt have easter eggs or anything chocolatey. but going back to your original post.- when i was a child i hated meat or veg and lived on chicken soup and spaghetti when i got to the age of about 10 onwards. before that , I would get sent to bed if i didnt eat my dinner, but never got spanked. so when my son started getting picky with his food i would try to feed him stuff he liked. perhaps i was pandering to him, he was not a spoilt child and although he has grown up to be a vegetarian, he does now eat a good balanced diet, (by the way , he's 40 now and over 6ft tall and very healthy). so mylotters please don't spank your children for not eating.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
24 Nov 08
thanks for sharing and encouraging me.
@mcat19 (1358)
• United States
14 Nov 08
I don't think it is ever OK to spank a child. All it proves is that you are bigger ans stronger than the child. It teaches the child that violence is the right way to behave. If your child isn't eating, find out what she likes to eat and let her eat some of that. Maybe you can tell her if she eats her dinner, she can have dessert. I wouldn't make meal time a battle ground. It's not a battle you will win. Loads of luck. One of my daughters only ate pizza, hamburger, tuna fish and bologna for years. She now eats all kinds of things, is grown up, married and has 3 boys that eat fine.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
15 Nov 08
thanks for the well said advice.i will surly keep in mind.
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
14 Nov 08
I would say spank the children when she does not obey or does something bad. I do not consider eating properly a reason for spanking. I would say trying to put a fork in an electrical socket, throwing the plates on the floor again and again, hitting a brother, pulling hair, doing something that would harm her, and being deliberately disobedient would be a reason and after time out and grounding did not work. Not eating would not be a good reason. Try saying either you eat or you go to your room or do not get out to play. And be firm.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
14 Nov 08
thanks for your reassuring words.i am known as a disciplinarian and try to do best when it comes to my kids.
• Canada
14 Nov 08
6 year old children do not starve themselves. Bottom line-when they are hungry, they will eat. Just make sure when she does eat that it is healthy foods and not junk. Spanking is a ridiculous way to try and get a child to eat, if you feel she has not eaten enough in the day, don't let her leave the table until she finished most of what's on her plate. If that doesnt work, wrap the leftovers up and that's what she gets to eat the next time she is hungry. I think that the doctors you are seeing may need to get a mental health check, at 6 years old there are more important things to be worrying about other than what her mental state will be when she grows up because of her eating habits.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
14 Nov 08
lol.the doc never even suggested any harsh action.it is just that i am worried.