I Don't Believe in God.

Thailand
November 13, 2008 11:03pm CST
Please don't get me wrong. This is not the strident statement of an atheist claiming that God does not exist. It is the regretful statement of a person who has spent his life trying to find God and has failed. I started out life in a very Christian family and from a very young age attended Sunday school every week. I was enthralled with the stories. I was in love with God and wanted nothing more than to be a preacher when I grew up. My disenchantment with Christianity began in kindergarten when my best friend was a young Jewish girl. Every day one of the kids in class was chosen to save the prayer before lunch. It was a simple prayer in which we had to thank Jesus for the food we were about to eat. My young friend would not say the prayer. When I realize she was being subject to abuse, mostly mental, but some physical hitting by the other kids I decided that I could not say the prayer either. Being a boy the beatings that I received were a little more severe. The tale would probably have a happier ending if the teachers at the school discourage the beatings and protected my friend and myself. Sadly this was not the case; they in fact encourage this attempt to force us into a Christian mode. Somehow the Sunday school stories were not the same anymore. In my young mind and Jesus became associated with the kids that were hitting me. I quit going to Sunday school and I was on the first step to disbelief. As I grew older I developed a passion for biology and wanted nothing more than to develop a deeper understanding of life. The obvious conflict ensued. I could not reconcile the biblical story of creation with the obvious facts of evolution. If this story was wrong, then how about the rest of it? I moved on from biology and began to study history and comparative religions. I had to find some way to reconcile my belief in God with the idea that the Christian religion just did not get it right. At that time I had a very close friend whose father was a Pentecostal minister. I got into several discussions with my friend's father which grew more and more heated. In the end he became so angry with me that he forbad my friend from associating with me and told me that he was praying to God that God would strike me dead because I was spreading disbelief. Wow! What kind of god was this who would want me dead because I was seeking answers about him? After high school I enrolled in the best local college around which happened to be a Christian College. I continue to seek answers and continued to be condemned for doing so. I was informed that if I continue to ask questions and seek answers about the nature of God that I could no longer continue in school. I was getting really confused at this point, why was seeking knowledge somehow sinful and wrong? They told me that all the answers were in the Bible and if I booked outside the Bible I was condemning myself to everlasting hell. Wait a minute! There are more people in this world who are not Christian and there are Christians. What about them? Were they all going to hell because they did not believe in the Christian version of a God? I didn't think so. I just could not bring myself to believe in this cruel God that condemned people to hell for not following the Christian party line and believing as they were instructed to. I went on to a State University where religion played no part and pretty much stopped worrying about God. As I grew older I discovered I really didn't have any concern or any belief about God. I was too busy spending some time in the Army, getting married, finding a job, and generally getting on with life to spend much time thinking about God. Later in life I started to give a little more thought to God and decided that the idea that I was most comfortable with it was a kind of a general deity who had something to do with the creation of the universe but then it really didn't meddle with it. I settled on something that resembled the ideas of intelligent design. I could not see this designer doing much more than somehow manipulating things so that the Big Bang occurred and then left things alone. I was happy with this until I happened upon the whole concept of quantum physics. Quantum physics stated some ideas that provided more questions than answers in till I discovered the work of the mathematician Hugh Everett. In 1957 Hugh Everett wrote a paper which provided a rather slick solution to some of the questions raised by quantum physics. His idea involved the concept of multiple universes. This was considered a pretty crazy idea on his part but as physicists began to look at it they came to the realization that although the ideas seem crazy they were the only possible solution of the questions raised. This concept kind of threw the idea of an intelligent designer out the window. If the Big Bang was not a unique event and was not a rarity, but was in fact a common occurrence which is happening all the time then, most likely, there isn't any kind to designer involved. This also answered the question raised by the idea of the Goldilocks zone. The idea of the Goldilocks zone is that if anything were different, if the earth wasn't exactly where it is and temperatures and everything else weren't exactly right we couldn't exist. If everything is so perfectly designed then there must be a designer. If there are multiple universes then this whole idea goes right out the window. We are not living in a perfectly designed zone. We are in fact living in the one of many universes that just happens to provide the right conditions. There was no one who created one universe, there are many and we live in the one that we can live in. That pretty much ended it for me; my last reason for believing in God was gone. I come to this conclusion regretfully, I would really like there to be a God and I would really like all the things like eternal life that result from their being a God to be true. I just can't find the facts to support this idea.
6 people like this
22 responses
• India
14 Nov 08
Must you try and find God? It is said that when you stop seeking its then when you find! God is no person high up there, God is in life around you, in the myriad miracles of nature you see everyday inside your very own soul. This may sound like preaching, but to find God, you must first try and understand who you are, what is your goal in life and where are you headed for. This sounds simple but the first conditioning of your mind must be to understand an accept that you are not actually who you are. Your body is just a case for the soul, which in turn is part of the greater cosmic force of the universe. Every soul is part of it. Next, you goal in life is not to enjoy life as we enjoy it but emancipation of the soul that is complete detachment from all worldly possessions. This is to be done with the knowledge that just as you came to this world alone and naked so you will leave this world…you will not take an iota of material possession with you. These are mainly my beliefs which are taken from my religion Hinduism. I believe in the spiritual part of Hinduism, not the religious part. Meaning that I don’t worship any deity nor visit any temple but I know that my soul is a part of this nature, this universe and that I must love and respect every life force on earth.
2 people like this
• Thailand
14 Nov 08
The whole question boils down to which universe is your soul is a part of and what makes that universe so much more special than the others that a god pays special attention to it.
3 people like this
@bsclot (18)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
Maybe we are just looking at the wrong place when we are looking for God. God said, whatever you do to the least of my brothers, you do it also unto me. Just look around my friends, we don't need to pick up an advance physics book to see the face of God. Just look at the face of the least of our brethren and you will see the face of God. Looking for God using the materialist point of view is just futile. I don't think our poor hungry brothers will appreciate it if we will demonstrate to them the Big Bang theory. Just gave them love and care and thats where the miracle begins.
2 people like this
@Ravenladyj (22937)
• United States
14 Nov 08
The tale would probably have a happier ending if the teachers at the school discourage the beatings and protected my friend and myself. Sadly this was not the case; they in fact encourage this attempt to force us into a Christian mode. OMG that is just so repulsive..I;m sorry both you and your childhood friend went through such cruelty... Later in life I started to give a little more thought to God and decided that the idea that I was most comfortable with it was a kind of a general deity who had something to do with the creation of the universe but then it really didn't meddle with it. Thats basically what my personal belief..With Vodou Bondye ("god") is just that..a higher power/being who watches over but doesnt make demands or get involved... Bottomline IMO, you need to feel, believe and live however is best for you and if seeing "god" as a general deity is the most comfortable for you then thats your answer and what is right as it applies to your life..Bravo for you going through all the motions and coming up with an answer or solution rather that suits YOU..thats IMO as it should be
2 people like this
@sleuth (37)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
I understand your point and i respect you for being an non bliever, however i will not support your idea towards the nonexistence of God. I was a believer before yet due to several changes/events in my life i continuously searched for my God (i did not say 'our God' because we have different relationships with God). I think you have a wrong notion regarding the God that others forced you to believe in because you judged that God based from the actions of those believers(persons who obliged you to believe). Maybe St. Thomas of Aquinas' Summa Theologica might help you understand more the Christians point of view regarding the existence of God. I am not truly agreeing that God do exist, yet I will not disagree that the possibility of God's existence is also great. There are several things that we cannot explain, and science could not explain. Look at yourself at the mirror. Can science make such perfect figure?
• Thailand
14 Nov 08
Please read what I said carefully. I did not say that god does not exist. I just can't find a reason for a god.
2 people like this
• Thailand
14 Nov 08
I need to add that when I look at myself in the mirror I realize that science could not make the rather imperfect being I see but what I do see is the product of evolution, not creation.
2 people like this
@sleuth (37)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
What triggered you the most in not believing God? Do you declare yourself as an atheist? I hope you don't mind if am asking these questions. I'm just interested. I was once an atheist, however my perception was changed. I am not against atheism or non believers of God. In fact, i salute people who are searching for the answers of the world's origin and their existence too. People who are not afraid to declare themselves doubting their own religion are indeed HUMAN. They find more facts or information about several religions and more HUMANE than those people who claim themselves religious.
1 person likes this
@anaphy (113)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
neither do I even though that I'm a born christian, I stopped believing at God and began living practically. With God and Religion, I find it very damn wrong. Religion is supposed to be "goodie-goodie" with all the teachings and other stuff. But, just I've realized that religion is actually the root of most problems right now, particularly christianism. Christianism is the bloodiest religion on earth, believe it or not, from the crusades, burning of witches, and war on different religions, particularly Islam. And I blame religion for being so damn impractical at prohibiting Contraceptives. And thank God that I'm an atheist...^^
1 person likes this
• Singapore
14 Nov 08
I am sorry, did you just thank God? And you are an atheist? Cheers.
@anaphy (113)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
It's called sarcasm..^^
@taurus54 (320)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
'A' god might exist, but it isn't the god of the bible. The god of the bible set out specific conditions that he would respond to, and he does not. The god of your bible, being an all powerful creator has made an awful lot of very human errors, and if the bible is supposed to be his word, then it's easily checked against the real world.
1 person likes this
@taurus54 (320)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
If you care to know why the god of the bible does not exist,please watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFrkjEgUDZA
1 person likes this
• Thailand
14 Nov 08
Which world and which universe?
2 people like this
• India
15 Nov 08
I didn't read the full post, But I'd say, Neither Do I believe in God, I believe in Science... I won't believe until someone give me the proof.
1 person likes this
@Optimize (201)
• Canada
14 Nov 08
To be honest i dont believe in god either. Obviously something created us, and this universe. But the storys in the bible are.. pardon my language, but complete BS. And why are all drawings of jesus and god white people ? Jesus was apparently born in the middle east, his skin would be extremely tanned unless he was like.. albino or something. And its pointless anyways really... whats believing in him gunna do for my life ? not much.. not much. Sorry if this post was a bit harsh lol.
1 person likes this
@saleel (20)
• India
14 Nov 08
yes i even do not believe in god but sometimes when i am in trouble i just pray to him to forgive me and just take me out of this trouble................................ but i think that we should trust on him as i think there is some power that helps and protects us when we are in trouble...............
1 person likes this
@Demarini (11)
• United States
14 Nov 08
You will return to your faith eventually. Something will happen in life, and you will have no where to turn to except God. I just wish he answers your prayers so you will once again believe.
1 person likes this
@sunita64 (6472)
• India
14 Nov 08
Do you think it is essential to believe that there is god somewhere. I feel in our life may beautiful things are there such as beautiful mountains , marvellous sea beautiful sceneries all these have not been created by man but they exist so if we think who has created them then we have no answer so in order to satisfy ourselves we think that there are some good things in life which exist you call them nature and some call it as the creation of some powerful entity and to that we have given this name God.
1 person likes this
• India
14 Nov 08
My friend e all beloeve in GOd ? Without god we cannot imagine our existence ? So plz believe in god ?
1 person likes this
• India
15 Nov 08
if you are human beeing then you have to belive in god...
@Sheepie (3118)
• United States
15 Nov 08
What is that supposed to mean? That I'm not a human being? I'm ashamed of this human race anyway, so be it then.
• Thailand
15 Nov 08
A bit of faulty logic here. I am a human being and I don't believe in god so your statement must be in error.
@hellcord (675)
• Romania
15 Nov 08
My good man, I think you have pretty much exhausted the possibilities of your left side of the brain, when it comes to answering questions of a spiritual nature. Might I suggest you try the other side ? :D I for one find that Christianity doesn't even resemble spirituality, most of the time, at least as I have come to understand, feel and practice it. Let's look at what was done here: books were read, texts were spoken, candle wax was burned, people gathered on Sundays, under stone buildings, and more texts were spoken from old books. All good if you're trying to fill your time, but of little use for spiritual development, in my opinion. Take now for comparison, the other options: In many parts of the world, there are very practical ways of dealing with these problems. When they need to actually SEE what is out there, and come back convinced and with a strong faith, people take the right kind of plants, that SHOW them what they are looking for. They chant, dance, move, play instruments, paint images, and open their inner eye to what the outer ones cannot see. It is a matter of brain and body chemistry. I have found that Christianity fails spectacularly at changing that, and also has succeeded in keeping the real ways of exploring these things, well outside of the mainstream knowledge. Ayahuasca. Peyote. Psilocybin mushrooms. Salvia Divinorum. LSA. DMT. Am I right to assume you never tried any of these, and you probably hear of most of them for the very first time ? To me, this is exactly why you cannot see what you're lookign for. You're using the wrong tools (left, logical side of the brain, and normal consciousness) and looking in the wrong place (here, outside, in the material realm, or books written by others). Please read a bit about altered states, find some good safe healthy sources to access them for yourself, directly, and your answers will start finding you. Make no mistake about it, we are very likely NOT evolved enough to understand just who or what created all of existence, our brains are not even close to evolved enough to grasp information of that complexity, but there are ways to get some glimpses of it, to see for yourself, to cut through the not-knowing, and emptiness. May the gifts of nature bring you happiness and knowledge, where the texts and churches brought you nothing real. I hope this will open some new doors for you. Peace :D
• India
17 Nov 08
Chiang firstly to believe is wrong. what you believe today, you can stop believing it tomorow when you find something better. believing is a temporary phenomena. i am born hindu. i have the liberty to be a believer or a non believer. i have read many books in my faith. a few like upanishads and veda's have no objection if you are non believer. the statements like : Aham Brahmasmi ( I am god) will terrify any christian or a muslim, but not a hindu. that is a perfect athiestic statement also. also take a look at this statement : Tatvamasi ( I am that too). its visible only to a man who has experienced truth. truth cannot be experienced through belief in god. that is what these statements say. precisely for this reason those who believe in god amongst hindus donot read these texts. they call it beyond their ability to understand. an easy excuse. these are simple statements by men n women who encountered truth as it is. they were not glorifying any god there. that is why they called that unknown force "That". see the words they used. even the staunchest athiest will start doubting whether he is the athiest or these people of vedic age. Chiang, you are not alone. there are many like you who found it useless to hang on to a crutch called god. did you ever noticed this. all religions portrayed god as a person. that itself shows it was perishable idea which will be questioned sooner. they created a fictional character and glorified it. that is the reason they demand belief from followers. otherwise they know that this fiction will disappear in a flash. that is why they say you should not question his powers, his authority etc. science has proved these religions as a bundle of bogus claims many times. yet its adherents wont agree to it. it is accepted there many things we cannot explain which are beyond our ability to understand. but that does not mean we have to attribute it to god. not at all. what could not be explained at one time, was done with ease at a later period. its a matter of time. you are perfect as any other in your not believing in god.
@lanina911 (103)
• United States
15 Nov 08
Okay I kind of agree. How can there be so many religions and only one god. Some people believe that jesus was not God's son. I for once am with them on that. I'm not saying that Jesus didn't do great things, but in reality he was human like you and I. How can you say that someone who might not even exist have a son. Another thing that people don't seem to get is that the bible was written by a man NOT GOD. So while they are defending it saying it is the word of god they are actually defending the word of someone else's beliefs. One day I was at my grandmothers house, and the whole family got into this huge debate about religion. Basically, she said that if you weren't christian you weren't going to Heaven. I was like hold up thats not right. If God supposedly made everyone "Equal" then how come some of his children won't get into his kingdom. So I tried to explain to my grandmother that if you asked a Jewish person the exact same question I asked her they would most likely give her the same answer she gave me. The only major difference would be the fact that they would be saying that if she was not Jewish she wouldn't get into heaven. So here is where my confusion comes in. WE CAN'T ALL BE RIGHT. Someone is either wrong and a certain group gets into heaven, or all are wrong and everyone gets to go to heaven, or there is no heaven and/or God. I do not mean any Disrespect to any of you.
@Gwapako_28 (2142)
• Philippines
15 Nov 08
All of us here on earth are not an accident. We are all Gods Plan. The moment we were born, God knows, what's life we have to face and it is up to us, how to accept and live that. I dont force you either to believe God. Because it is within you who can decide what do you want and the choices you need to choice. It is also up to you to believe or not to believe. I have faith and i trust God. I been in a lot of bad past and heartaches, though sometimes, i feel so bad about God because i dont understand why i need to suffer things and why i need to feel such heartaches and pain which i think i dont worth it. But the moment i realized whats His plans, then, i find out myself thanking Him for the trials He gave to me. Because i know and i believe, that everything has a reason why things happened to each and everyone of our own lives.
@Nhey16 (2518)
• Philippines
14 Nov 08
you've been through a lot of experiences which confuses you about God's existence... that explains why you're saying that He doesnt exist. well, i am not a religious person, but i do believe and have faith in Him. i just hope one day, you'll find your right answer about God.
• United States
14 Nov 08
Hi Chiang! Although your circumstances are a bit different than my own the searching you've been doing most of your life is eerily similar to my own. I went thru my first doubts at about the age of 8, thru my extremely short stint as a Christian Fundamentalist, thru hundreds of religious texts, thru an incredible amount of scientific explorations, thru philosophies too numerous to count, it took almost 40 yrs to find my answer. I wouldn't normally do this, I only give reference pages to people who ask me since I am not trying to "convert" anyone to anything. But as I said your experience and questions seem so similar to mine. They may help sort out some of your questions and think in a new direction. I have no intention of offending you, so if you don't wish to read them it won't hurt my feeling, just ignore them. http://www.reasoned.org/index.html http://www.pantheism.net/paul/index.htm http://www.paxdoraunlimited.com/PantheistAge_ModernPantheism http://www.pantheism.net/
• United States
14 Nov 08
How can you not believe in god! he is in everything i once heard! and i fell him!