Do you dress to impress, get attention, or the thought never crossed your mind?

@mommyboo (13207)
United States
November 18, 2008 12:30pm CST
So some people believe that dressing sexy or in revealing clothes 'encourages rape'. I do not agree with this, because encouraging would stipulate the person WANTED it or brought it on themselves. On to the matter of dress. Everybody has their own style they are most comfortable in. I see some people dress in ways I NEVER would. That doesn't mean I think they are asking for it! I might not like how they dress either but it isn't my call, is it? Nor is it anybody else's. When you dress yourself, do you do it in order to INVITE attention from others? Do you dress in order to downplay attention from others? Are you surprised that anybody would look for a motive? I dress nice for myself - well when I do. Sometimes I don't because I don't have time to. I was a little stumped at the idea that everybody was somehow out to get attention and that it was also the attention-getters fault if and when it happened.
7 people like this
16 responses
@fwidman (11519)
• United States
18 Nov 08
I rarely ever dress to impress, for me that would be a suit and a tie, something I try to avoid Do I dress to get attention? Now that I am sometimes guilty of Hard to miss a man in purple pants and maybe a bright orange shirt
@fwidman (11519)
• United States
18 Nov 08
Orange in a shirt is great Orange toenails not so great If I wore those heels I am sure I would get LOTS of attention from the folks living here
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Purple pants! BTW I don't think suits and ties are all that appealing, on anybody. In another thread about clothing I think I told someone that the most appealing is a well fitting pair of old jeans....
@fwidman (11519)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Even though I wear them, I don't find jeans all that appealing on anyone, especially women. But, they are comfortable
@rmuxagirl (7569)
• United States
18 Nov 08
When I get dressed in the morning I just get dressed to look the best that I can. I don't try to impress anyone or get attention. I just get dressed to look my best. I don't want to walk around looking like a bum, but I do like to look good. When I go out somewhere special then I do dress to look good and beautiful.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
I do like to look good, or at least feel good. I think a little bit of mystery is a good thing, which is why I think I am modest enough but not too much. I'm not above showing a glimpse of something but it doesn't stay exposed . I try to wear clothes that stay where they are supposed to, ie don't ride up, don't fall down, don't pull, twist, or pop open....
• United States
18 Nov 08
I dress the way I dress because it makes me comfortable and I guess I kind of like to hide my body as well. I'm not completely comfortable about it and I'm reminded of it all the time that it's not like most of the people I associate with so I enjoy hiding behind bigger clothing sometimes so my clothing will make me look bulky. So needless to say, I don't dress to impress anyone. I work with kids most of the week and I need to be comfortable to move around. I need to be OK with getting a little dirty and I'm not willing to wear nice clothing for that. I'm not saying I dress like a slob or anything but I'm not going to wear dressy clothes most of the time just to come home covered in paint and mud.
2 people like this
@redkathy (3379)
• United States
18 Nov 08
Oh whom ever says a person brought on a rape needs to be slapped!!! I think one has to be smart about how they dress as related to where they are going. For example, I used to deliver pizza and can tell you that I always wore baggy tee shirts and jeans. Some of the neighborhoods were less than safe and there is no way I would dress up nice never mind sexy, I'm just not that dumb. So I believe one has to think to HELP avoid situations however NO ONE ASKS FOR IT!!
2 people like this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Well, I did work at a warehouse back when I was in my early 20s, and knowing what I know now, I probably would have avoided doing that. I got harrassed and guess what, I wore baggy tshirts, flannels, and jeans! The only time I ever dressed nice was for the annual Christmas parties and I went to those pretty much black tie, with my HUSBAND lol. In fact this stupid guy I worked with got drunk and almost plastered himself on top of me AT the party in FRONT of my husband. Thank god he had a partial sense of humor and realized how drunk the guy was.
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
18 Nov 08
The idea that a person's style of clothing somehow invites violent crimes to be committed against them is ridiculous... I rarely give a thought about how others will see me when I dress in the mornings..I mean I must wear something..appropriate to my job or wherever I am going...and there are times when that denotes that I do draw attention to myself...if I am giving a speech or something..I want to appear in control.. I wear sweats to the grocery store... I wear a suit to business meetings.. I wear a bathing suit to the beach... We all wear many different outfits in life..and each of us have our own opinions as to what looks good... I say, if it makes you feel good wear it! However, at the same time...I suggest that everyone be aware of their surroundings at all times...not everyone has the best intentions for the others of the world!
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
21 Nov 08
That is true, some people have pretty ulterior intentions.... I have never been attacked but I have been stalked before, and I know it had nothing to do with what I wore, any time during the ongoing problem. I fail to see how that can have anything to do with ongoing behavior, although I CAN see a link to how it might START. Again though, I think that's a matter of someone not controlling themselves in the first place. The scariest part for me now is having a little girl, I am ALWAYS thinking about the fact that other people do not have good intentions. Especially people out there who do not like kids. I always always want her to understand that she is not to listen to somebody who ever suggests or tells her to do something that might hurt her or someone else, even if they are bigger than she is or an authority figure.
@34momma (13918)
• United States
18 Nov 08
first i dress for comfort, then i go for style. i don't think i dress to get the attention of others. i mean i like to look nice and if someone notices that's great, but i get dressed every morning for me. so that i can feel good about me, so that i can be comfortable. if someone else likes what i have on that's just the icing on the cake
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
21 Nov 08
I feel exactly the same way. I had a conversation with my husband about this before because I was telling him that while I do prefer comfort, I won't sacrifice style for comfort, and I won't sacrifice comfort for style. This leaves me somewhere in the middle, meaning that while I dress nice, I don't dress UP lol. I have a lot of denim (mostly jeans) and almost everything else is cotton of some type. I layer in the the winter. I have learned that people who are going to look are going to look no matter what, and there isn't much I can do about it either way. It almost seems when you try to avoid attention, it finds you. I have always said that I do nothing for anybody's approval, except my own. If someone else approves, cool, but nothing I do is an attempt for that, and it's 'icing on the cake' but it's not necessary for me.
@goldeneagle (6776)
• United States
25 Nov 08
I really don't think about impressing anyone when I try to figure out what to wear. I am a married guy, so I am not really trying to get anyone's attention. I usually just dress to try to get through my day. More often than not, my wardrobe is defined by what I have planned for the day. I don't have time to make a fashion statement.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
My husband feels the way you do lol!
• United States
26 Nov 08
I can still dress up when I need to, but I work six days per week, and my wife and I rarely go out these days, so I usually end up wearing shorts or sweats until I have to put on my work clothes each day.
@phoenix25 (1543)
• United States
19 Nov 08
I dress according to my mood, what looks good on me, and what I feel comfortable in. I like to wear cute clothes, but that's because they make me feel good. I'm not really in it for the attention of others, though it's nice to get compliments on your clothes.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
It IS nice, but I usually already know I look cute before someone says it lol. If I didn't that would make me self esteem deprived.
@katisaurus (1038)
• Canada
19 Nov 08
I dress for myself, never for anyone else. I think if girls dress in things that don't cover their butt/chest atleast then they're asking for something they don't want. It's disgusting to see girls dressed rated R and not PG13. Especially when they're just going to the store. I could imagine if they're going to a party, maybe, or to something that requires clothes like that to be warn. When I'm going to a dinner or a party, I dress for myself. I dress comfortably but also so I look nice. When I go out to the mall or something with my boyfriend, I try to dress so I downplay attention from others because I don't like people hitting on me.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
That's partly why I posted this discussion though. I've been hit on when I look like a drowned rat LOL! Most decent people leave me alone when I'm with my husband, but when I'm with him, people know we're together. I did mention that I have a problem with how younger people ie minors are dressing. The reason I have a problem goes back to a thread I started about girls pretending to be older than they are to get attention. Sorry but NO 12 year old needs to be wearing a thong, a mini skirt, and a shirt open far enough to show her bra - not to mention a load of makeup. Add another 10 years to that 12 year old and MAYBE it's not a big deal. I feel a 20ish young person can handle what comes, while a 12 year old is a child who might be taken advantage of regardless of intention.
@jpso138 (7844)
• Philippines
19 Nov 08
Well, I certainly dress for comfort and a little bit of fashion considering that you will definitely be out of place if its only comfort that you consider. I also consider what people say since its really different if you ask other peoples opinion on how you look with such clothing.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Sometimes people overanalyze what they are wearing. I have asked friends' opinions before about something that I might look nice in, but the whole evening I can't wait to get it off lol. I try really hard to only wear things that are both form/functional but on short notice or if you bought something that was beautiful but cheap, there are sacrifices you have to make.
• Singapore
19 Nov 08
I dress in what is most comfortable to me. I seldom go for the latest design or even keep up with the latest fashio trends. I also dress rather conservatively. I'm not looking for attention, although it would be nice if someone complimented on my simple style. On special ocassion, I do dress up a little more, but comfort still comes first.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Fashion is a bit of a joke, I say this because sometimes what is fashionable and easily found in stores is not something I like - on the rack or on me lol. I guess I have some things that would be considered 'vintage', 15 years old and frm a different style era. Still great pieces and they fit! I prefer plainer things, you won't see a lot of details and embellishments and I'm not a big accessory person either. I kind of think you dress to frame yourself, not dress to cover yourself up lol. Good fit is essential, as is choosing colors that flatter you.
@anaknitatay (1335)
• Philippines
19 Nov 08
there really are some women who like to tease and taunt men sexually and it makes them feel attractive this is playing with fire and when you play with fire you are likely to get burned. and just like playing with fire it may not be entirely your fault but you could have prevented it. It doesn't make you bad but it does make you foolish. The style of dress should not matter as long as it is appropriate however if it is really out of bounds then you are asking for trouble
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Well.... I don't think minors should go around sporting thongs that show and exposing body parts, that's for sure. As far as 18+ I think it is up to each person what they do. Like I said before, nobody grabs someone by the neck and makes them look. I do know what you mean to a point but I still think the control issue is bigger than you think. While many people love to be noticed, it means NO more than that. It means 'look at me', it doesn't mean touch me, threaten me, try to get something.
@mindym (979)
• United States
19 Nov 08
I would have to say that I do not dress to impress or get attention. If I dressed like I did as a teenager, I would probably get attention, but not positive attention. I work in a classroom with preschool children, so I definitely don't dress to impress because we are always on the floor or doing messy art projects. I don't want to ruin my good clothes. I do dress for comfort most days, but I do occasionally like to dress up.
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Preschoolers are such a great age! I have one. She tells me I am beautiful when I get up in the morning . I certainly don't have to worry that she's trying to look down my shirt like my 17 year old son's friends.. ha ha ha.
• United States
18 Nov 08
I just dress for comfort. I don't pay any attention to whether other people pay attention to what I look like. So the thought has never crossed my mind about getting attention by how I dress. If you are referring to people getting attacked when you mention attention-getters fault if and when it happened. They went into prison and interviewed people who were in prison for se____attacking women. The interviews prove that it is not the way a women dresses that gets them attacked. When a man walks out of his house in the morning they already know that they are going to do this. It also doesn't matter the age of the woman or the profession she is in. This information came out of interviews with men that were in prison for this particular crime.
1 person likes this
@mommyboo (13207)
• United States
25 Nov 08
I am beginning to think that the people who claim visual stimulus brings on the idea of attacking women think this way themselves EVEN IF THEY WOULDN'T DO IT. They then take this reasoning and place it on people who exhibit that they can't control themselves. They figure if they can get everybody to believe it's the woman's fault (or the fault lays with the victim regardless of gender) they can justify their own thoughts. I don't see how it has to be justified. Appreciate beautiful things, enjoy what you find attractive. Just don't be a pig about it, embarrass strangers, or go too far lol.
@tammytwo (4305)
• United States
19 Nov 08
I guess it kind of depends on the situation but most times I don't dress to get attention or be noticed by others. Rather I dress to please myself and feel good about what I am doing and where I am going. Many times I just dress to be comfortable.
• United States
19 Nov 08
I dress for comfort. Pure and simple. On the rare occassion that I dress "up" it is to appeal to my husband and how he would like me to look, no other reason or person matters. I'd like to point out that while I am comfortable showing some cleavage some people may not be. I'm not comfortable wearing shorts or short skirts and some are. It is all personal perception.