What would you do if you found out that a friend was lying to you?

United States
November 20, 2008 4:49pm CST
Would you stop being friends with someone that lied to you? I'm not talking about a little harmless white lie, but a big lie. Are all lies equal, big or small?
2 people like this
10 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29029)
• United States
21 Nov 08
My motto is if you can lie small, you can lie big. I'm not crazy about liars. I lose respect very quickly for anyone who lies about anything, unless it's something you're supposed to lie about, like a surprise or "Does this make me look fat" sort of lie. So probably I would stop being friends with them. Probably not immediatly, I would just stop calling them and avoid them until they got the message.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 08
I like to think I'm an honest enough person.. if I don't like you, I'll let you know. But sometimes I just can't be that mean, so if I find that I don't like a person anymore, I will just try to avoid them as much as possible. There's been a few friends I've had, 2 I can think of off the top of my head, where one day I just realized they were a complete loser, and I just stopped speaking to them, that was that. Never had a confrontation or unkind word, just stopped calling and stopped accepting their calls, eventually they stopped calling me too.
@mhagskier (323)
• Philippines
21 Nov 08
Good day! Sometimes we need to tell a lie even though we know it is not good. We can not avoid to tell a lie. Even you, sometimes you were telling a lie on to your friends. If my friend lied to me, i'll forgive. For the second time he lied to me, i'll forgive. If another day he lied to me, i'll forgive. And if he doing it for several times, i'll forgive, and i will tell him that it will not bring us to good, and it will not help to keep our friendship for long last.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 08
Sometimes, it's unavoidable that a person lies or hides little private things about themselves. We can't all go around spreading our private business in public. A good heart to heart talk would resolve such little issues with a friend. And, I would hope that a friend would understand that I could not be forthcoming on every aspect of my life, for personal reason. I do appreciate your candor and insight into the matter. Thanks for your comments. Very valuable!
• United States
22 Nov 08
cut 'em off. i'm over that stuff.i got too much at home to concentrate on,and they knew what might happen.
• United States
22 Nov 08
At some point you have to focus on what is most important for you.
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Nov 08
exactly. then they try the blowback response (you're the liar,not me), and it's just not worth it.
@gemini_rose (16193)
21 Nov 08
I would stop being friends with them, if they lie then they are not true friends and in my opinion cannot be trusted. I am basing my answer on my own experiences of this happening, that is probably why I have no friends in my real life because they have all stabbed me in the back and so I have stopped being friends with them! Unfortunately I am a person who will hold a grudge indefinately.
• United States
22 Nov 08
Life is a harsh teacher.
@praveenjena (1305)
• India
8 Dec 08
hello buddy, well times do come when you have to sear such a situation. while i think that small lies are a part and parcel of the day when they harm nothing and are part of a fun, but at the end of the day all the lies must be cleared with truth. but at the same time i think that big lies must not be said at any cost. in any relationship that bring sourness to that relationship. and you should not say lies to the people who trust you the most and they will be the ones who will get hurt the most and. well in this case i will find out why the person said the lie to me. and if i found out that he did that on purpose... then certainly that will affect the relationship.
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
3 Dec 08
It depends on how bad the lie is, if a friend lied about something that is detrimental to my life feelings,or happiness, and if its about something really serous, then I might not what to continue the the friendship because if she lied about something serous or hurtfull, then what else would she lie about, and what is a friend if you cant trust them, isn't trust important to friendship, but if a friend lied about something harmless then I dont think it would bother me that much as long as they dont lie about anything and everything it might be ok.
• United States
3 Dec 08
I do not see how you could ever trust them ever again so I am not sure I could be there friend again. When my kids where little I had a friend I say that lightly but she had a very big lie she was telling me. I found out and believed her side and did not believe the truth. She ended up doing so really bad things to me and my kids. I had to break off the relationship she was a very sick in the head. I did not see it at the time I was so starved for friendship I believed her lies. Now if one of my friends really told me a big lie I would have to leave them at the wayside.
@Anne18 (11036)
24 Nov 08
Wel it all depend what the lie was and which freind was lying to me. If a very best friend was lying ot me it would mean something different to just a friend lying to me, and it would depend on what the lie is. There is a lot of things to be considered in this question
@williamjisir (22905)
• China
22 Nov 08
Hello beauty queen. If it were a big lie that I have already found out, I think that my impression to him or her would be a little bit different in the future.
@stella1989 (2275)
• India
21 Nov 08
I can take lies.. If the friend is a very good friend of mines.. I will act very casual and give her as many chances to confront may be directly or indirectly. Will first try to find out why she/he is lying in the first case. If she doesn't confront me then I'll just straight away ask her/him on his face why is he/she doing this to me? Getting mindlessly mad over things never work.. Why not sit and talk about it and and analyze.. why is all this is happening.. And with normal friends I don't generally trust them even the good friend. I just can't trust people (big problem with me).. Or else its better to break the friendship or never trust her anymore.