She's A Fighter And A Survivor...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
November 23, 2008 7:24am CST
Yesterday I did a discussion on how self-contained my Dad is and it got me to thinking that my Mom deserves just as much credit as he does. Although she doesn’t have a big garden, livestock or is self-contained…she is a fighter and a survivor.
She raised four kids just about single handedly, worked a job…sometimes two…to make ends meet and has always been there for her kids. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for her and I can remember a lot of lean times and times when she stumbled but she always had the strength and courage to stand back up and keep on going. She’s made some hard choices and has had to live with them but she’s taught her children to stand up for themselves as well. Knock on wood, we’ve all turned out halfway decent. We each have our own problems but nothing that we can’t handle. She’s taught me to be strong and determined and to have compassion for others. She really is a remarkable woman. Even at her age, I won’t say what it is, she still helps her kids out, takes care of her mom who is bed bound for the most part, runs her home and helps with her grandkids. I hope I have that kind of strength when I’m her age.
What has your mom taught you growing up? What are the qualities you most admire in her? Are you a survivor?
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
3 people like this
16 responses
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
23 Nov 08
Hello twoey68
Wow I can't believe how much like your mum is to my own. She has gone through exactly the same thing but with three kids rather than four. Her mother isn't bed ridden but not far from it. I am coming out the other side of an abusive marriage and who was there for me? Yep my mum. I know she was gutted that when I fled I went to a safe house but I did it for just in case he came to find me and he did but I knew she was safe because I wasn't there. She understands why I did but still wishes I cam to her but I also got the help I needed there. She is a real brick my mum and we are very good friends but I still respect her as my mum!
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
25 Nov 08
My Mom has always been there for me as well. In fact, I go to her whenever I have a problem and not my Dad. Other than phone calls a few times a year, I don't have alot of contact with my Dad. He's just never been one that I could go to with a problem.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND TRUST IN GOD**[/b]
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12540)
•
25 Nov 08
I am not as close with my dad as I am my mum either. In fact my dad and I have only just started talking after not having spoken to each other in 16 years or so. My mum has always been there for me to help pick up the pieces and has been both a mother and a father to me, my dad left our family home when I was 10 and went off with another woman.
@Shellyann36 (11385)
• United States
23 Nov 08
Oh yes good topic here! My mother is a very strong woman. My mother is a very thrifty penny pinching woman who saves money very well. My father is the exact opposite. Several times my mother has bailed out the family financially when my father would have the bank account in ruins. She is very talented, can garden, helped build the house they live in, did the electrical wiring and even did the brick mason work around the outside. I am and have always been so very proud of her.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
25 Nov 08
My parents are just the opposite...my Mom knows how to juggle money to make sure everything gets paid and she always manages to get things paid but she doesn't do the whole save for a rainy day thing. My Dad on the other hand is one of those who toils away and works/saves towards a specific goal.
My Mom does all the household repairs too (unless it requires a professional) and has actually remodeled a house just about on her own.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND TRUST IN GOD**[/b]
@ElicBxn (63233)
• United States
23 Nov 08
When I told my folks that I wasn't going to get married, they basically said "that's nice." When I got a bit older, they told me that so long as I didn't try to get married before I finished college, they'd pay for it. Like I had any offers....
My parents never had too many expectations - mom once told me, when I was thinking of getting engaged, that she was too young to be a grandmother - I told her that it wasn't likely. They did think I'd be happier with friends and suggested places they had found friends. But, you know, we have very different interests and I found my friends at the science fiction convention and not the bridge club....
My parents taught me that no woman has to have a man, and to only marry if I loved him. I was of the opinion that it should be tried to be for life and going into it with "well, if it doesn't work out we can always divorce" is a sure fire way to fail.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
25 Nov 08
I learned the same thing...I dealt with my parents getting divorced and saw both of them remarry other ppl and decided that I was going to do things better. I made a mistake getting married at 16, it ended after 6 months and then I decided I didn't want to have a string of ex's behind me so I decided not to marry again. It took me over 20 years to decide to try it again and that was to my Hubby...it's been going really good so far (knock on wood) and I'm glad I took the chance.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND TRUST IN GOD**[/b]
1 person likes this
@teapotmommommerced (10359)
• United States
10 Dec 08
My mom did teach us girls to be creative. Mom always had some craft going, and most of the time she did not finish what she was doing but she had them going. Each one of her girls are creative in their own rights. I do the needle work, all kinds by hand, my older sister has the fancy sewing machines and sews clothes and tailors, my twin makes jewlery and has a stone cutting saw and a tumbler, she works with wire.
I think we all do beautiful work in different area.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
23 Nov 08
it is very sweet of youto give your parents the acknoeledgement that they deserve. so many children never do that, don't evenn think about it. she sounds like a fine lady , both of them sound like fine people, you are lucky to have that kind of parents. i lost bothmy parents this year so i can appreciate whay u are saying. yes, i am a survivor, had to be. lol
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
25 Nov 08
It's easy to look back on your parents lives and see where they made mistakes and such but sometimes ppl forget that they are human too and can make bad choices. If it wasn't for them, we wouldn't be here. My Mom and Dad have made some bad choices in their lives but I've learned from them and have made better ones. I did call my Mom up after I posted this discussion and told her about it...she came in and read it and then started crying...I think she liked it :)
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND TRUST IN GOD**[/b]
@nanajanet (4436)
• United States
23 Nov 08
The difference between a survivor and one who gives up is that they know that, no matter how hard it can get, life IS worth living and being with the ones you love, even if just one person, is worth being there for.
I have seen people with so few problems who just give up easily and cannot handle even life's smallest challenges, and others who have hurdled huge problems, and just keep going and are always cheery.
I think it depends on how our parents handled stuff and if they spoiled us or not. So, I think that you will always be a survivor, too, as you had a great role model.
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
25 Nov 08
Your response reminds me of something I heard once about women being like teacups and mugs. Some women are fragile and delicate like teacups and break at the slightest bump but some women are tough and rugged like mugs that can take a good thump and be no worse for the wear. I'd say my Mom and I are both mugs.
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND TRUST IN GOD**[/b]
@rusty2rusty (6751)
• Defiance, Ohio
24 Nov 08
My mom taught me how to love. She also taught me how to care. These are two thinsg I did not learn while living with my dad and stepmother. My mother also taught me how to look past what someone wears, how they look, how how much money they have..but look at the person on the inside. As that is what matters most.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
23 Nov 08
very nice tribute to you mother,
my mother is very generous, she gives of her time and hardwork to people in need serving on various committies and volunteer organizations,
she is a religious woman and she gives money, food, whatever she can to her family and people who are less fortunate than she is.
She is somebody you can talk too and not judgmental,
she was not always like that she too made mistakes when she was younger but she is a completely different person these last 35 years.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
24 Nov 08
I think most of the mothers are like this only. My mother also took great care of us. it is not that my dad left us or was cheat, my dad used to be away from home due to his jobs. So it was my mom who used to help us in study. take us for new learnings. she managed the family single handedly.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
25 Nov 08
I adored my mother,she was not perfect but i thought she was....I can look back & see lots of things she did that may have been not so good,but she always took care of me and i loved her dearly...When she got so old 88 she got so impossible but i loved her non the less..I lost her 3 years ago & i miss her so much...Those things you said about your Mom was great,and its so good that you have a good relationship with her..But always remember whatever she does,shes your Mom,and we only have one.......I had to reming myself of this when she was so difficult....
@walijo2008 (4644)
• United States
23 Nov 08
Yes, we all need to love our moms, and we all need our moms no matter how old we are. My mom is great, she's a strong lady, and she's worked hard all her life, she took care of us kids even when we were being rotten, she worked hard so we could have the things we did. She did make some bad choices in her life at one time, and she had to learn to live with them also, but she never let us kids forget that she loved us no matter what happened. I only wish I was half the woman she is today, a few years ago she had a stroke, and she had to come live with me, it was hard for her, she had to re-learn to do certain things, she had lost some of her memory, and her eyesight. I took her to physical therapy everyday, for about a year, and slowly she started getting back to herself, till one day, she decided she didn't need to live with me anymore, and she wanted to be on her own again, and driving again, those were the goals she had set for herself, and she reached them. Thats why I said I hope that I'll have that kind of strength one of these days, she's taught me alot about faith, and about being as close to God as you can be, thats how I want to be.
@Bebs08 (10681)
• United States
24 Nov 08
Oh!! congratulations for having a good mother. My mom also is a good mother. She is very supportive to my father. One thing I admire with my mom is that she is prayerful. She never worries when we have problems, specially financial problems? she always said, God is there and He will never leave us. We will just pray about it. she also strong, and it is a blessing to have good parents like them.
@camomom (7535)
• United States
23 Nov 08
My mom is the strongest person I know. She taught me that I don't need a man to survive. That God won't give you anything that you can't handle. It's ok to cry. It's ok to ask for help. It's ok to be poor as long as it's not because you're lazy. It's ok to show your weakness's. Nothing is worth having if you don't have to work for it.
@Arkie69 (2156)
• United States
23 Nov 08
The lady of the house is the glue that holds everything together. What Dad did was important but what Mom did was more important. If we had lost Dad Mom could have kept the home and family together but if we had lost Mom Dad couldn't have. Don't get me wrong Dad was a very important part of our family but Mom could have worked 24/7 in and around our home and she would have never gotten finished. Mom pent many an hour just taking care of what her and Dad produced. Just caring for the kids, the garden, the chickens and a thousand other things was a very heavy load om Mom.
