How Honest Are You...
By twoey68
@twoey68 (13627)
United States
November 24, 2008 8:34am CST
This is simply a what-if question. If you were having an affair and turned up pregnant, would you admit to it and find out who the proper father was or try to hide it and pass it off as your partner’s? Would you tell the child when it’s old enough to understand? Would you tell your family the truth?
First, I’d never cheat on my Hubby and second, I can’t get pregnant so I’d never be in this situation but for the sake of what-if…I’d admit to it and find out the proper father. With my luck it would come out anyways so I might as well get it over with. Also if I didn’t and it went on for years, when it finally did come out I’d not only be hurting my Hubby but my child as well. Admitting to the affair and the pregnancy may cost me my marriage but then there usually are consequences for actions. I’d hope that if the shoe was on the other foot and Hubby got someone pregnant that he’d tell me the truth and not try to hide it.
[b]~~IN SEARCH OF PEACE WITHIN~~
**AGAINST THE STORMS, I WILL STAND STRONG** [/b]
14 people like this
35 responses
@mojcica (1511)
• Slovenia
24 Nov 08
Well, the most honest person wouldnt have the affair in the first place. Once you have the affair you became dishonest.
But in the situation like that, it would depend if there was a chance and I could be together with the lover whose child I might be carrying or not. But first I would try to find out if it was my lovers and not my husbands. If there wasnt a chance to have the relationship with my lover, and the child was his, i wouldnt admit to my husband. If I would, then I'd be left alone and thats something I wouldnt want.
So what Im saying is, tat in a dishonest situation I would act even more dishonest and keep quiet.
But to take that 'if' away, I am not planing to have a lover and would not cheat on my partner, so I guess Im glad Im honest to begin with, because obviously in a dishonest situation I become I monster lol
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13627)
• United States
25 Nov 08
At least your up front about it. To be honest though, the lover may not want a committed relationship since you already have a track record of cheating on your husband. This was one thing that I never understood about ppl that cheat...why would you want someone that cheats in the first place. Just a thought...
[b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~
**STAND STRONG AND TRUST IN GOD**[/b]
@mojcica (1511)
• Slovenia
30 Nov 08
Well I dont think the lover is in any position to judge since he'd be doing the same thing.
Cheating itself is so beyond my understanding that I cant really say. I know I wouldnt wanna be with someone who has a history in cheating. But if I cheated, then, as i said, It would be just hypocritical of me to judge.
I guess once you go down that road you're doomed...you step into the circle of dishonesty and theres no way back. Even if its a one time thing, you did it and you stay the cheater for the rest of your life.
Its not worthed!
@elitess (5070)
• Ipswich, England
24 Nov 08
Hi there twoey. Since i am a man this also does not apply to me, but i will humour you and answer it :D I think i would want to admit to it and try to find out who the father is but i can't say that i would do that for certain as i may turn out to be to scared to do the right thing - yet again, if i am having an affair in the first place i should probably have to guts to find out who the father is.
1 person likes this
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
24 Nov 08
This sitation can apply to you as well you just have to turn it around. IF you had an affair and got the other woman pregnant would you fess up to your wife or would you tryto hide it?
1 person likes this
@mgmagana (3618)
• United States
27 Nov 08
well i'd like to say i'd never cheat, but ur question is a what if, so if i did i would probably attempt to pass it off as my hubby's unless it wouldn't be possible like if the baby were a different race, but sometimes the truth is better left unsaid and if i did tell him it would tear our family apart n many kids would be hurt by it, so for my children's sake i'd have to keep it a secret. Gosh that sounds horrible!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31636)
• United States
29 Nov 08
I'm afraid I can't play the game, as I would never have an affair. I had chances when I was married and my husband certainly played the field, but I took my vows seriously. I don't plan to have any affairs now that I'm single, either.
If for some reason I did, I would do as you would. When you tell a lie, it keeps snowballing and soon it runs you over and flattens you!
1 person likes this
@SaintAnne (5453)
• United States
26 Nov 08
Okay, this is an answer to a what-if question. If that were to happen to me hypothetically-speaking, I would definitely admit everything. Not only for moral reasons but for my child's medical history as well.
BUT if that were to really happen to me, in real life, I don't really know what I would do. It is easier to answer these what-if questions but harder to act on them in real life.
@lynnemg (4529)
• United States
29 Nov 08
I would never cheat on my husband, but if something like that ever did happen, I would have to tell him. My conscious would not allow me to keep it from him. I believe that if you marry a person and take those vows, you should stand by them. If you do not, you must deal with any and all consequneces for your actions.
1 person likes this
@angelface23 (2494)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I wouldnt cheat on my husband either but if for whatever reasonit happened I would definately tell him. I think that if I were to be selfish and wait for years and years it would hurt him a lot more than just being honest in the first place. If my husband turned out not to be the father, I dont even know what I would do. He would deinfately leave me I think. I wouldn't want to be with the other guy. This is scary to even think about. I wouldn't be so stupid in the first place.
@sophie_dfuss (2365)
• Philippines
21 Mar 09
I am a very honest person... I don't cheat in a relationship and I don't want to have an affair like that.
My mom did that to my dad... she had an affair and got pregnant by her lover but my dad was the one paid the hospital bills when my mom gave birth and sent the baby to school...after a long while, my dad left my mom...because of that...so I don't want to do the same mistake what my mom did. 
@scarlet_woman (23465)
• United States
26 Nov 08
you'd be a fool to try that nowadays,with genetic testing.
all it would take is the child having a hereditary disease neither parent carries
to start the questions flying.
it'd be better for the child's health in general just to fess up.
@Sourceseeker (1197)
• United States
21 Mar 09
I believe I am pretty honest. Now if you add not saying or admitting information that i know about that is a different story.
@tyc415 (5706)
• United States
24 Nov 08
I also would never cheat on my husband but since this is a "what if" thing and if I did have an affair or even a one night stand and got pregnant I would tell. The child would also need to know whether or not the biological father had any part in the childs life but there might be medical things that we would need to know for the future. I would hope that my husband would do the same also if he had gotten someone pregnant.
1 person likes this
@pinklilly (3443)
• Australia
30 Nov 08
This question has arised from that lady in the news who managed to hide the pregnancy from her family, which I find bizare it it's self.Then had it apparently not knowing.Guilt.. I don't understand how you can hide a pregnancy.... If that were me which I like most people here would firstly say I would Never do or be caught in that situation as I would never cheat on my partner, but for the sake of the what if... I would firstly find out who the real father was, then come out with the truth.. Face the conciquince of my stupid actions... I think anybody that is cheating should take a good hard look at what they really are doing and take aboard these stupid headlines of what others have done and learn from them.
@drknlvly6781 (6246)
• United States
30 Nov 08
I have never been the type to cheat, mind you. If I am in a relationship that I feel I have to go outside of it to get fulfillment, I would rather end the relationship first before going astray. However, if I did find myself in this type of situation, I would have to come clean and find the father. But knowing me it wouldn't be a long search, just the guy I was supposed to be with, and the one that I cheated with.
I have never understood most of the women that end up on the Maury Povich show, three and four times, looking for their child's father. (I have to say most, because I was on that show. Granted it was only to prove a point to my doubting child's father) These women have been with so many men within a short period of time its ridiculous, and nasty. There is no way I could be that loose, and even if I was, I wouldn't carry it on TV for the nation to know about.
@comfort55 (1574)
• India
25 Nov 08
I entirely agree with you that instead of hiding it for yers and years, and finally when the secret is revealed, it not only hurts your hubby, it hurts your child also and above all, a person like me will certainly lose peace of mind. Everytime this guilt will keep bugging me. So, I can never ever think of cheating any third person, and how can I think of cheating my own people. Yes, peace of mind does make a person strong internally, against the storms.
@moonlitmagikchild (22181)
• United States
1 Dec 08
well im not a cheater but if i some how did get into this situation i would tell everyone as soon as i knew i was pregnant.. i could never hide the fact i didnt know who the father was and i would want the baby tested as soon as it came so i would know who to tell it later on.. i wouldnt force anyone to like stay with me because of the kid though.. im not sure when i would tell the kid.. i think it depends on how the family life is and if the real father (if it wasnt my hubby) was involved etc..
i think anyone that just tries to hide who the father is and keep everything quiet as far as not getting outted for being a cheater is a coward.. if you are gonna cheat you better be ready for anything to happen!
@bicoycoy (10)
• Philippines
25 Nov 08
i for one would never try to do that mistake and cover it up with another mistake. and if ever i will resort to having an affair it would mean that there is really something wrong with my current relationship. communication is vital to any relationship and i think that every couple should be open to almost anything once they are having a commitment. if ever i had an affair and ended up having a child, i would admit to that mistake and hope my partner would forgive me for having the said mistake done. it would not be easy for her trust is broken. its not an easy thing to get back (broken trust). but i hope i can manage it somehow and in time it will be alright.
