RE: Is a friend indeed truly a Friend in Need?

United States
November 26, 2008 7:15am CST
I question this on a daily basis. How do you really know if you have a true friend in life whether it be a man or a woman? Do people really understand the true meaning of friendship? I have a what I consider to be a friend because I've been more than a friend to her but more like a sister/friend. I'm starting to see some things out of her that are not good after being a friend to her for about 6 years now that I wouldn't do to my worse enemy. The hardest thing for me in this friendship is to break it off as a friend with her because noone else wants to be her friend. I've looked out for her in every area of her life including giving her advice but she takes it and smashes it back in my face to an extent. I see lots of jealousy coming from her towards me in many ways but I just eat it and go on. Should I approach her with the true way I feel without hurting her feelings or should I just break the friendship off? Have you ever had a friend that everytime you accomplish something good that they try to do what you do but in a sneaky way? This is how my friend is. If someone gives me attention she can't stand it but tries to show it in a sneaky way but yet it's seen. She seems to want all the attention surrounded around her and noone else and she's a selfish individual but I continue to be her friend. It's not cause I need her as a friend and it's not because I feel sorry for her but it's because I've become acustomed to her ways. I've adapted to the way she is and I've even went as far as telling her about herself to her face and in all the ways I know how sometimes even in harsh ways. So my question to myself is, is she a friend indeed or just a friend in need?
2 people like this
7 responses
@efarmer (184)
26 Nov 08
Well you need to ask yourself that and if you feel that she is a friend then you should continue with her or else part ways. what I feel is that if you keep on being her friend then someday she might realise her mistakes but that would take a long time and if you are prepared to wait then it is alright, all you will need is a lot of patience. but otherwise if you keep on continuing this then you might breed ill feeelings about her which is not soo good either. so you have to decide on this one. she is a friend in her own way to you. she might be having problems of her own so she might be behaving the way she does. but if you feel so strongly about her then you should make a decision. hope it helps
2 people like this
@iamfine (740)
• China
26 Nov 08
As you said, she is a selfish person, it is not easy to be a friend of a selfish person. You have treat her and take care of her like sisters, what more does she want? Why not talking to her about what you think of her, tell her that if she still wants to be your friends, she need to be more generous, instead of jealous you. She is not the center of the world, and it is impossible that every person's eyes only attracted by her. every person has shinny point, and so do you. You have been friends for 6 years, that's really a long time, and you will have your own boyfriends and have your own families, you can not always focus on her.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Nov 08
You are right and I agree with you. She is a very selfish person and kind of uncoof if you know what I mean. She is the type of person that if I purchase an out fit and she never has the money she will hint around as though I owe her somethng because she does not have the money to get it. If we are out to a night club together which is every weekend and men are approaching me all night she will find ways to get more attention. I walked out the club last Sunday night but before I walked out of the club when we first got there the door man handed me a bottle of expensive brandy and I shared that with her. We were leaving the club and he put $20 in my hand and said here's a little something to get you through the week. I didn't expect that. We stopped at McDonald's so I could get a sandwich and I didn't offer to buy her anything to eat because I'm always paying her way wherever we go and she decided to start hinting around that she was hungry and I totally ignored her. So she decides to stop at the Stop In up the street where I have another gentleman that's interested in me who manages the store to see if he is at the store to give her a free hot dog but guess what he wasn't working so she went home with nothing to eat. how about that? She always thinks everything is about competetion and it's not like that or about that to me.
2 people like this
• United States
26 Nov 08
Hello again, Thanks for your reponse to my situation. You best believe I am going to sit her down and talk to her once more about what I see from her and I how I feel about it whether she likes it or not or whether she accepts it or not. Also how do I respond to other peoples blogs or disccussions of interest? I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how to get onto their pages to answer to their questions? Thanks
1 person likes this
@23uday (2998)
• India
26 Nov 08
Hi friends "A friend in need is friend indeed".It is the sefless relationship in the world and always wishes for the welfare of the friend.But there are people ,who for their selfish deeds ,befriend us and try to take our advantage.I have met these kind of people.But i dont say anything,because later they will come to know the value of a friend,when someone cheats on them,only time can answer them.Though they are selfish,i help them when they are in need,i am not selfish and i try to accept them as they are and i am not attached them too. Though friends do commit mistakes,its our responsibility to correct them,but they take time to really understand.Its very hard to find real,true friend. bye!!!!!!!!
• United States
26 Nov 08
You know something your correct. And until I decide whether or not to keep her as a friend or not I probably will continue to do for her and help her even though inside me feels she has taken advantage of me and is using me. But really she can't use me as long as I don't allow her to. There is an old saying that goes like this, "You don't miss your water till your well runs dry." Thanks
1 person likes this
@pooHnes (15)
• Philippines
26 Nov 08
hey!, nice topic you got in there... well, in my point of view...you really are a wonderful person inside and out. You care much about your friend even if your friend has done something bad to you..anyways, my answer to your question is that...as a friend, you have to guide her because you're the only one who could understand her in so many ways...maybe God makes you an instrument for your friend to have a better life...what do you think???
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Nov 08
Hey, wonderful answer and I totally agree with you and I too feel that God places people in our lives to help them and to teach them. I have a special gift in life which is a gift I've tried to ignore for so long. That is the gift of a "teacher". I've had my moments with this friend on and off. I've even forgiven her for wrecking my vehicle which I know she didn't do purposely but how many people would just up and forgive for something like that? I just think she's never had a real friend in life and just simply doesn't know how to appreciate one.
1 person likes this
@kissie34 (2296)
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
Its you who can decide whether to continue your friendship with her or not. Maybe if I am in your situation I will still be her friend no matter how cruel she is to me. Why?? It's because its only me who can understand her and if ever I'll broke up my friendship to her the more she will continue to hate people and being unfriendly to others. I will try my best to make my patient long and to understand all the things that can cause for changing her attitude. Maybe, there's something bothering her or she has a big problem and she don't realized that she is hurting other people already. This is the best time to show to her how sincere your friendship to her and how much she is very important in your life. Well, as what you've mentioned above you're friends for 6 years so I think with that years being together you've known her so much. Maybe, in that past years she help you with your problems and she was always there supporting you in every problem and decision you made in life. For that long years, maybe there's something memorable happened in your friendship. Just think about the happy memories that you've spend together and how she help you before then after reflecting all of it, now you may decide whether to continue being a friend to her or just broke it up. But make sure that in all of your decision you've made, you will not neglect it in the future because what happen in the past will not changed no matter what you will do and most of all you are happy with your decision..
1 person likes this
@cbreeze (1209)
• United States
26 Nov 08
News Flash!!! That is not a friend. I have a very few select people in my life that I call friends. Regardless of what is going on, we have never hated on each other's good fortune or successes. We have been there to encourage each other when we fail or when we are down. We have even admitted to one another when we have felt jealous about something that was going on in the other ones life. The best advice I could give you is to drop her because what you have described here is not friendship. Friendship goes two ways. After six years of behaving like this, there is little chance that she will change. If you keep her in your life and she continues this behavior toward you, she will start to sabbotage good things in your life.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Nov 08
if you cant depend on them in a time of need why have friends at all??