Just a piece of advice....

@Masmasika (1922)
Philippines
November 26, 2008 7:47pm CST
Could you imagine yourself having a younger partner? I have a friend who has a very young partner. My friend is already in her fifties while the boy is still in his early twenties, still going to school. When I see them both, they look so happy and in love with each other but I fear for what might happen to my friend. Yes, they are both single and they could tie the knot and get married but I still doubt if the boy really is in love with a woman who is as old as his grandmother. I have advised my friend once to be careful but then she trusted her boyfriend that much to even listen to me. I am quiet these days because I fear the end of my friendship with her if I say something that may offend her. Any advice? I would gladly appreciate your opinions regarding this matter. Thank you.
3 people like this
19 responses
• United States
27 Nov 08
Hi my name is Henry i´m 24 years old and i´m form San andres Island. Reading about your comments i have remembered and old friend of mine his name is Carlos and he is almost my age. The last time i talk to him he was hanging around with a much older women and he. The lady was forty four years old one morning Carlos ask me. What do you think about Angelica and I relationship? I told him that there is no such thing as a specific age to be in love with someone and that if he really care for her and feel good with her he mos keep on with Angelica. I would tell your friend the same thing don´t make the age difference be interference in her relationship becouse in the end it wil only concern the two of them i meen of course your friend and his couple. As you could see I´m an old school person i hope everything works out with you and your friend. Bye. Henry Slate Steele
• United States
27 Nov 08
Just a piece of advice............. That was my forum. Thank you.
@lynnemg (4539)
• United States
27 Nov 08
I know a lady that was in her fifties when she married a guy who was only 21. There marriage didn't last very long once they tied the knot. They got along great before that, but once they wer married, it all seemed to change. I, myself, am married to a man that is 8 years younger than I am, but niether of us see the age difference. I think that is the case for many. Age is only a number once we become adults. I think it has more to do with the mentality than anything else. If these two are happy as they are, maybe it will all turn out good for them. In the meantime, if I were you, I would gently voice my concerns, and leave it at that. Don't push the issue. If and when this partnership goes sour, your friend will need you there to help pick up the pieces. If she feels that you won't judge her, she is more liekly to go to you when she needs to talk.
@cathya (705)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
I agree with you...were of the same situation heheheh
@rrowenaa (834)
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
i understand your concern for your friend, you're a good friend. you said u already advised your friend and she never listened. that's what love can do, gets you blind. oh well, give your friend a shot. who knows they would end up really happy.
• United States
27 Nov 08
It is not good to put asunder any healthy relationship, if they are happy and loving to each other they should be allowed to nurture their relationship. As the victim of abuse I know what it is like to have my relationship divided by the meddling of other outside influences. Once people become suspicious it is not hard to create a wave of false suspicions in order to hurt your friend and yourself. Gossip can be so dangerous... Gossip is lying and nothing good will come from the lies; but the truth will set people free. I pray for peace, Sincerely, Gary
@xandra14 (12)
• United States
27 Nov 08
Well, my mom is 10 years older than my dad. Their relationship lasted for four years. 2 years before I was born and 2 years after. And I had an uncle in his sixties and had a 23 yr old girlfriend. The girl just used my uncle for his money. It is very difficult for friends to give advice. I believe that your friend would most likely listen to a close relative or a family member. Although there is still a possibility of her not listening to them but blood is still thicker than water. You can probably ask one of her relatives who shares the same opinion/concern of the relationship to talk to her.
@narayan2006 (2955)
• India
27 Nov 08
Your concern is natural and genuine. Life is full of mysteries. If two persons do not care about their big gap in age and decide to get married as because they deeply love each other and have similar attitudes, tastes and perceptions to share,then there is nothing to be worried about. Before entering into such relationships,they do judge its pros and cons,they are aware of the risks and rewards of their decisions. As a well wisher, you may politely present your views only to guide them for a lasting and happy life without making any intervention . Thanks.
• United States
27 Nov 08
just got to let them be remember age is only a number and just that and who knows they really might be happy together
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
I am older than my husband and I dont see any wrong with it. Yes, I admit at first it feels wierd and uncomfortable. We tried and considered the thought of splitting up because of age gap.But later on we just see each other wanting more of ourselves which really bothers me. but I saw people who are just like us too. The other partner was older and it worked out just fine with them and even more. But, your friend age gap is way too long from the guy...which is really unthinkable. But if the the guy would really like to pursue the relationship with no string attach (hope you know what I mean)...so why not... Well...you are just a loving and concerned friend. She might not see it today since she is blinded of her love but I just know that in the future she would love you more because of what you did today. Dont be afraid as long as you know that your heart is pure and true. Keep up the good work and love your friend more.
• Nepal
27 Nov 08
The thing you said can be considered as a common. I don't love can be blocked by age interval I think any one can fall in love
@becnh83 (806)
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
that is so hard to give advise especially we womens are blindly inlove with our partners, and its so hard to read guy's mind, all you have to do is to let your friend be with her guy but dont leave her alone just keep her touch always so that you can guide her too.nowadays almost all guys are wiser of all creatures only few are not and they will do anything especially in terms of money..
@bumba1988 (1222)
• India
27 Nov 08
Hi Masmasika Well I do not think this kind of relationships do work.There may be exceptions but Exceptions are not meant to be Examples.Most likely the boy has got an infatuation which is very much understandable at this age.But your friend is quite Experienced.I do not think she should be carried away.This relationship is not going to have any future and that will hurt your friend most as the boy is in such an age that he can move on later.But,I really hope things go towards being an Exception.
• China
27 Nov 08
Any others'advice don't draw person who is in love from the status .Whether the relationship should stop or not, the determination from herself is prime and crucial.As a friend of her, good suggestions from us are needed.However, every one takes charge of her oe his life and should prepare to accept any results from her behavior.
@sid556 (31003)
• United States
27 Nov 08
I am in my 50s and I do mostly date younger men. Still...I can't imagine going that young. I do see what you are saying...it seems pretty far fetched but who knows? Stranger things have happened. If It were my friend, I'd just be there and be supportive of her and hope that her choice is right. He is obviously adding something to her life right now and for the moment she is happy and that counts for something as well. If it all crashes down, she will need a good friend like you so I'd just keep my opinions to myself and just be there for her.
@se7enthbird (8327)
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
we can not understand this kinds of relation unless we are the one on those shoes. i have a singer and she was only 22 when she met her now husband who was 48. now they are married with a two eyars old son. of course all relationship has its uos and downs and the short comings, but we can not say that they are not going to be happy or we can not say that one of them is not inlive or the older one must find someone with the same age. love comes in the most un-expected places and in unexpected ages as well. i think we just have to pray that our friend be happy on the choices they make and lend a shoulder when they get hurt and they want to cry
@Nhey16 (2519)
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
it's very nice of you to be very concerned with your friend... and i guess, if i were in your situation, i would also be concerned with my friend... just by knowing their age gap, i would think that the boy is not really interested with your friend, but with what she can give to him... but, since i dont know him, I could be wrong. maybe you could have your friend meet other guys who are a lot older than her present bf. maybe, then she could find her true love.
@rsa101 (16751)
• Quezon City, Philippines
27 Nov 08
Well I guess all I can say is that love is blind. I could not judge the young boy what his real intentions are for her but of course I understand your concern for you friend in there. I think time can only tell what is the future of their relationship. I guess you have done your part in there. You have aired your side it is really up to her to heed your advice or not. If you are right then just be there for her to support her as a friend. If she was right then just be happy for her that she was able to find her love despite the circumstances of her age and life.
@cathya (705)
• Philippines
27 Nov 08
all of us has benefit of doubts but sometimes it is also good to trust other's prospect in life. I am also having an affair with a guy 8 years younger than i am. there were times also that i feel afraid thinking that this guy could look for a partner whose of his age. but i keep on trusting him not only because i love him but he always makes sure that i feel his love every single hour of the day. we are happy and we always hope that this happiness will last as long as God would allow it. So in the case of your friend, for as long as they're happy and the guy keeps on loving your friend, well all we can do is to pray for their relationship and keep in touch with your friend know the development of their relationship so that you'll know the real prospect of the guy to your friend. Cheers to all!!
@pzygtt (193)
• China
27 Nov 08
Well,I don't believe that the boy is really in love with your friend,really! Nowadays,there are many things of this kind.There are lots of young ladies falling in love with old men,too. I can't say that they don't have true love with each other at all.But most youngers of them have their own purposes,some for money,some for a good job,and so on. So,friends,what's your opinion?
• Malaysia
27 Nov 08
First, you have to ask your friend, what does he expect from the relationship. To marry especially with the older woman, your friend must be matured enough now so he must realised that married with the older woman means he have to sacrify a lot of sweet moments that usually young couples do. He also must think about the society's assumption towards their relationship. If he's ready to face all this, then let him pursue his love. By the way, in my country got one case 37 years old man married with.........106 years old grandmother. If only you could understand Malay language, you can see this news from today newspaper : http://www.utusan.com.my/utusan/info.asp?y=2008&dt=1127&pub=Utusan_Malaysia&secDalam_Negeri&pg=dn_11.htm Even you can't understand the language, you can still watch the pictures of the couple there.