Do you really mean it when you say "I love you"?

@rosdimy (3936)
Malaysia
November 28, 2008 2:33am CST
The sentence or phrase "I love you" is commonly used in most relationships. I did not use it (so far) because I am not sure of my sincerity. Instead I use "I care" and try to show it through my actions. In your case do you really mean it when you say "I love you" or it is out of habit, or to placate somebody, or it seems the correct thing to say? Have you met anyone whom you felt was insincere based on your instincts (gut feeling) or body language?
8 people like this
60 responses
@lmizzy (78)
• China
29 Nov 08
well,we chinese are not always say "I love you" indirectly,cause chinese are shy to express the heart loving,and we think when we say "I love you",means that we are ready to take some responsiblity for "you",so we take this word very seriously.But I don't think it's good.Just for example,when I was young,I had a lot of doubts about my family,I thought my parents did not concern me at all,and they did not say love me never,so did the words like this.So,during that time,I was not happy until I knew them,but that was long time later.So,I think saying "I love you" is very important and can heal the souls.I use it in most relationships,to parents,brothers,friends and others,when I say this sincerity,they give me a big warm smile.
• United States
29 Nov 08
I agree with the above^^ The main thing is not to overuse the expression. And only say it when you really do mean it.
3 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
I should have been more specific in my question and I would like to apologise to everybody. When it comes to family members we should show and say to them we care. What I am actually looking for is more on the feelings that we have towards another person. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@annierose (18957)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
I always want to tell my boyfriend that I love him and I can say that everytime I will say it to him, I am sincere. I mean it in my heart. I know that he can feels it also because I also express it in actions. I show to him how much I care for him and wanted to be with him by giving him my time. Eventhough, I am quite busy with my schedule I make sure to it that I will find time to let him know what I am doing and to ask him how he is.I will never be tired in saying "I love you" to him and always show him that I mean what I say.
3 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
28 Nov 08
Something that comes from the heart, expressed in words, and supported by appropriate action, most probably must be true. I am not judging anyone on their sincerity for starting this discussion. I am inviting others to reflect together on our inner feelings. Hopefully the responses would become a catalyst for our self-improvement. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
• United States
29 Nov 08
I don't say "I love you" very much because it's overused:P I don't want it to become meaningless to me, and then when I say it to someone else they will take it to heart. Do you see what I'm saying? (: I say it to my friends, or my family, but as I said before, rarely. They know I love them, because I do, when I call to ask how they are, or when I do something random to show them how much I care; a gift,a hug..etc.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
Yes, I see what you were saying, and thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
• Singapore
30 Nov 08
exactoblade, I would think that these 3 words are under used in sincerity, so lest you be mistaken and carried away by the media today. Look around you, and I am sure your girlfriend will be head over heels with you if you really convey and say what is in your heart and mean it. Take it from me this 3 words has been under used. Cheers.
• United States
30 Nov 08
skysuccess, You are completely correct! :D p.s I'm a girl who likes guys..
1 person likes this
• India
28 Nov 08
Dear Friend, In fact, love can never be expressed so entirely by words. And the phrase "I Love You" is the initiation to express one's affection toward another. But if you could say it sincerely, your love must be true too. Sincere love is of the heart, not of the mind. Because the mind is always confusing - rational and judging whether your love is compatible with the other one's - in terms of worldly affairs. If it springs from your heart, then be sure that you are capable to understand your love and the other's. Actions speak more than words. At the same time, whispering "I Love You" is never a waste expression, but a pleasant sound. So, one gotta be true to oneself in order to learn the other - to enjoy love and affection. It happens sometimes to some that they fall prey to fake lovers! Those so-called lovers are plastic in their attitude and caring. (I must appreciate your understanding to use "I Care" instead of "I Love You"). Love is universal, man. But, there are many actors in the world to make use of it for profits! So, our hearts must cultivate intelligence to gauge what's real and what's unreal in love. Cheers to you, to be in love, and to enjoy this life of love! Bye bye!
• Singapore
28 Nov 08
Hi, i agree that the phrase is the expression of one's affection toward another. And I also agree that love is from the heart (it believes and covers what my mind would think otherwise). Sometimes it cannot be explained with (or beyond) human logic. I believe that when we do more of something, it's not as meaningful as it is at first. It may be done out of habit or obligation. So, yes, I do mean when I say cos it is very meaningful.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
Different people have different interpretation of what the word 'love' really means. Here lies the difficulty in judging how sincere a person is when he or she says the words. This could be one of the reasons why some people find it difficult to voice out whatever is in their hearts. There is also the fear of being rejected or being seen as not being serious. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@kissie34 (2295)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
I only say "I love you" to those people who I really love.. I don't feel good saying I love you to people that I don't love because I don't like giving meaning to something that it shouldn't be.. Sometimes, I am saying I love you to people even I don't love them, its just for fun and same way they are also saying I love you to without sincerity.. Well, there are also some people that i don't tell them that "i love you" like my family especially to my parents because I am shy to tell them that I love them.. I am just trying my best to show to them that i love them and I care for them.. I don't know what is hard to let my family knows that I love them but its just that I can't say it.. There's no words coming out from my out even sometimes I want to tell them how much I do really love them.. Well, I am just hoping that someday I can tell them that i love them and hope its not too late..
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
28 Nov 08
When we are in front of the one we love, our hearts go racing, our lips run dry, and our tongue trip down. I heard or read something like this a long time ago. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@gtdonna (1740)
29 Nov 08
Yu shouldn't be shy to say I love you to your parents. If you want to convey the feelings but can't say it out loud, I suggest you buy a card that says it. parents too like to know they are loved and this one gesture will really make your parents happy...just do it!
• China
2 Dec 08
When i say this i truly mean it.I dont want to just make someone happy and say"I love you".when i say it i mean.and i take it seriously.the last time i said this to someone was after i got drunk(i pretended)cos i really didnt have the courage to say it to someone who i know woulnt love me back.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
3 Dec 08
Pretending to be drunk may not be a good idea to say the words. Most probably the person you directed the words to thought you were not serious. In my opinion important things should not be said when drunk, either real or pretended. As I understand it the words of a drunk cannot be accepted as evidence. The next time you may have to find different ways of expressing your feelings. It may not have to be in words. Thank you fpr your response.
1 person likes this
@candysky (855)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 08
yes... When i say I Love You i really mean it.... I only will I Love you to the one I love... Other than that, I won't said I love you... for me "I Love you" is a very important sentence and phrase.... It have a very important meaning to me, so i won't easily speak out.. If i do, that what I mean it...
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 08
So it means you rarely utter the words. What sort of importance do you attach to the words? Do you have any other way of expressing your feelings to those you care for? Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
• China
29 Nov 08
I hate the people who say i love you repeatedly and insincerely.Someone say this nowadays for their communication and benefit.So we dont believe somebody who say this easily .Action and time can prove their heat if he/she love you sincerely.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
May I know how you judge or measure their sincerity? It may be of help to many of us here. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
If I say i love you to a person I really mean it. I seldom used these words for I know this sincerity. I don't want to make it a habit. I only say these to those people that I really love and very important and dear to me. These words are very sacred to me, friend.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
The words should be kept sacred by all of us. This may avoid misunderstandings and confusion. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 08
I do not say, "I Love You" unless I do. I know if someone is sincere or not. Some people say it just to get what they want. I'm pretty good at seeing this before it happens so I can steer away from any uncomfortable situations. Things are so different thaat they used to be, I pretty much keep to myself these days.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
You are pretty goof at seeing through other people so I presume you have a strong instinct. Or maybe you have the natural ability in interpreting body language. Thank you for your response.
1 person likes this
@ladym33 (11007)
• United States
29 Nov 08
I have been married for many, many years, so when I say I love you I definately mean it. But I had other boyfriends before I met my husband, and I never said it to anyone before him. I always thought that if I was ever going to say I Love You that it would only be with that person who I knew was the one and the love of my life. I think the words are too important to just say to anyone. So no I would never say I Love You to anyone if I did not mean it.
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
Your husband is lucky to have you. I have met women who did not think twice before uttering the words. As a result they lost their honour and respect. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@mrsjbelle (1641)
• United States
29 Nov 08
Yes, I think it is important to tell the ones we do love that we love them. We never know how much time we have left on this earth. When I love someone I know it's one of the strongest feelings I have ever felt. I was actually thinking about that today.
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@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
I agree on the importance of telling people whom we love that we love them but I still feel it should come from the heart. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
Whenever I say "I love You", then I really do. I seldom say these words, so once i say it, I really mean it.
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
So who usually get the words? Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@Purtle (274)
• United States
29 Nov 08
I only say it if I truly mean it (I've only said it twice). I have met others whom I felt was insincere based on the situation and whatnot. It really bothers me how the term is misused today. I wish people took it more seriously. It is a big deal to me and should be a big deal to everyone else.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
Twice? It means we are in the same boat on this issue. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
not really..sometimes it's all just jokes..just to make the person laugh and happy...it's not easy to express this words or to speak this word. this word is sensitive. But if the word i love you is expressed to my dear love then i really mean..I only replies i love you too to the one i love most and i really care/mean about my words.
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
At least you are brave enough to admit the truth. There are people who vehemently say they mean it while we can see several of their actions negating their claims. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@raven66 (335)
• Canada
28 Nov 08
I do much the same as you!.. I haven't said that to very many people you know... When someone says those words ,I feel ...they must really FEEL it, but alot of times its much weaker than it seems , and thats when one gets a bit confused, If one truly KNOWS LOVE it has to show up in what they do! For me personaly I got hurt too many times with the "I Love You".. puzzle, so now i tend to be very carefull To who and when I say it.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
Too frequently used and heard, and the words become unreal. That was how I felt most of the time. Years back one girl did not say the words but her actions and reactions betrayed her true feelings towards me. When asked, she was coy. When what she did were pointed out to her, she admitted the truth. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
• India
28 Nov 08
Well, 'I love you' is a sentence which is much bandied about, and movies and novels have gone on to use that as a punchline, a motto, a brand's tagline, and just about anything, resulting in the fact that very few people mean it when they mouth it. I would like you, never say it unless I meant it. Even I have been fed the line, I have politely replied with 'I like you' or 'I like spending time with you' whenever I have not been sure of being in love with the person, but once I'm sure, I go ahead and say it all I like!
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
A good strategy which can protect you from certain awkward situations resulting from blindly accepting the words. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
• India
28 Nov 08
I always say and i really mean it.
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@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
Can you prove it? I am not doubting you but it would make this discussion more interesting if you could give an example. It might be of help to several of us here. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@kaliyha (591)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
I have this personal rule that I practice religiously. I never say I love you unless I really do mean it. For me, saying it means you are making a commitment to that person no matter what his/her response is. Yes, I have met a few persons who have told me that they love me but I just don't feel that they really mean it.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
In many cases our instincts are correct. There had been cases where the truth was known because I followed my instinct. Like you and many others on myLot I do not accept the three words when said by someone else to me unless the person can prove it. In my opinion physical body contact is not proof because many people can do the same thing for other reasons. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this
@maean_19 (4661)
• Philippines
28 Nov 08
When I say those words, I really mean it. I say so because it is seldom that I say those words. My actions speak more than those. When someone tells me that he/she loves me, I do not believe it right away until I felt it through my instincts.
2 people like this
@rosdimy (3936)
• Malaysia
29 Nov 08
So others have to work hard to convince you. Maybe it is better being called aloof or unresponsive rather than falling into similar traps. Thank you for your response.
2 people like this