What will you do if someone bullies your child?

@djoyce71 (2512)
Philippines
November 29, 2008 7:30am CST
A friend of mine told me that his son was being bullied by a classmate like paddling with shoes and hitting in the back. He was very angry because he did not know about it and his son just kept silent for many times already. He just knew it from his son's friend. Even the adviser did not know what was happening. He wanted to confront the classmate, but his son did not like him to go to school and seemed afraid. But, he decided that he will go to the school. If you were the parent, what will you do?
3 people like this
33 responses
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
22 May 09
In such case, I'll first meet his class teacher and other school authority to complain about it and then meet his parents also.
@djoyce71 (2512)
• Philippines
24 May 09
Thanks for the response suruchi86. That is one good move. Good day to you!
@suruchi86 (1873)
• India
24 May 09
Thanks... and same to you.
• Philippines
29 Nov 08
If I were the parents of that bullied child I will talk to my son's teacher and will ask for a meeting with the parents of the person who bullied my son.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
I think I'll do that too when I become a parent.My mom actually confronted the kid who bullied me and warned her not to do it again.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
4 Dec 08
I will immediately report the fact to the school and ask the school authority to investigate the matter as fast as humanly possible. Once the investigation is finished and the bullying is really regularly being done, I will request the school to call the parent and the bully so that, together, with my child, we can discuss how to resolve the matter.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27985)
• Philippines
2 Dec 08
Of course even if my child would not want because probably he is afraid of the consequences, I'd still go to the school and require the teacher to summon the parents of that child who is pestering my son. Then I'd talk to the parents about what their child is doing to my child. I would also require that the child be called to explain why he is doing this to my son and appropriate warning be given to him and he should promise he will not do the same thing again. I'd also hold the teacher responsible in monitoring the behavior of the child.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Dec 08
I would go to school and ask them to call the attention of the bully's parents. I will speak to them in front of the principal and question their discipline measures to their son. If they can't discipline their son, I will ask the principal to do something about this problem. Probably, ask the parents to let their child undergo some psychological help/guidance or transfer to a different school where they can tolerate this kind of attitude.
1 person likes this
@bellis716 (4806)
• United States
2 Dec 08
I'd be interested in knowing what happened after your friend went to the school. Many years ago when my now 44 year old daughter was in the 2nd grade, she came home upset with marks on her body where another girl had hit her. She told me that this had a frequent occurrence, and she didn't want to go back to school. The next day I went to the principal. He called a conference with my child's teacher. I found out that the child who had been hitting my child was one who belonged in special ed but was being mainstreamed. The teacher was told that if the misbehaving child couldn't be controlled, she would be removed from the classroom. That was the day when teachers were expected to use whatever means necessary to maintain order. I expected the teacher to say that she couldn't control the child, but she only said that she was a problem. Somehow the problem was resolved, and my child never again reported being hit by another child in the classroom.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
If I were the parents I have to closely monitor my sons daughter in school, ask them about their school their classmates , who is their close friends so that I may know whom to ask of what happening to my sons or daughter. Confronting the bullies classmate won't work. Maybe tell their adviser, their principal about the bullying, so that they will be the one to talk to the parents of that bully classmate. If that his bully classmate always saw you with your sons or daughter it will deter them of what they are doing, and also show a little bit angry face to their bully class amtes as it will send a message that you don,t like what they are doing to deter them..
@ronnyb (6125)
• Jamaica
30 Nov 08
I think he should go to the school and tell his sons teacher about it and if nothing is done then take it to the principal and if nothing to the school board. In addition and I suspect where the greatest succes may be obtained ,go the bullies home an dtalk to his parents.
1 person likes this
• Canada
30 Nov 08
I could not let this horrible thing happen to my child. It doesn't simply the physical abuse from apparent. If child has that kind of experience and keep quiet at their school age, they will hold it over their whole life and could not release ever. Two extreme personality might appear, violent one or timid one. They could turn to be the dangerous to their family, neighbors, or coworkers once they grew up, because they don't want to be under the power by anyone else. In the opposite, they could be more timid and even not dare to say 'no' to anyone. If I'm the parent of this abused child, I have to talk to him about the violent student or students,lead him to talk to me and willing to share his angry and emotion with me. Then I will encourage him to stand by himself by using nonviolent way, such as reporting to teacher or principle. If this still could not stop the situation, I, as the parent, will confront to principle to deal with this issue to make sure this thing will never happen to my child. Anyway, keeping the violent away from the child is to make him strong and let him know keeping silence won't make problems solved. Once child could not settle down the problem, the parent must step inside to do something. Only after troubles being expelled, the child could live under the healthy environment.
1 person likes this
@bestboy19 (5482)
• United States
30 Nov 08
I think I would quietly make the teachers aware of it so they could intervene and find out why one child is bullying the other. If it continued, I think the parents, with their child, should come together with the teacher and principal to put a stop to it. If that didn't work, bring in the law. Maybe a policeman can convince the bullier that it's in his best interest to stop.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 08
I send my son to school to learn not to be bullied. The steps my son has been told are tell the bully to leave him alone. If he does not then inform his teacher of the situation if it does not improve let the principal know. If it still does not improve then my son is to knock the bully out. My son has the basic skills and if he gets suspended I will fully support that because my son was defending himself. He ended up in a fight a school which he did not start and he ended up being sat on by another student. My son's training kicked in and he reached out and grabbed the kid by the throat. The kid got off of him and left my son alone. My son has not been picked on by that kid since. If the school staff are not going to take care of the situation like they are supposed to then I support my son in defending himself.
1 person likes this
@catdla1 (6005)
• United States
30 Nov 08
I'd probably fly over to that school on my broomstick! Seriously, I go there the minute I found out. Children in school are supposed to be watched all the time, for their own safety. Either this was not happening, or somebody was seeing it but choosing not to do anything. That's the 1st issue that needs to get dealt with. Then I'd request a meeting with the teacher, administrator and the parents and children of the guilty party. Violence and bullying should not be accepted, and especially not in school.
1 person likes this
@umart13 (841)
• Ireland
30 Nov 08
Hello djoyce71, it is a very good and a difficult question to answer, as we all hope that it will not happen to our children. It is wrong for you as a parent to confront the bully and you may get yourself into trouble. I would speak to the teacher immediately and try to assess if the school itself or just particular chldren are out of control. If the school is the problem, then I would take my child out of the school. If particular children are the problem then I would talk to their parents, especially if I know them. However, we grown-ups know that there will always be bullies in our lives and it would be good to improve our childrens' chances of surviving in this sometimes cruel world. I would talk to my son and tell him to avoid the bullies, but not to be afraid of them. My son's own confidence and character is what will ultimately deter the bullies, especially if the bully sees that my son is not isolated in the class and is popular among his classmates. Have a good weekend. Umart
• Malaysia
30 Nov 08
i was bullied in school before. and what i did was i told my parents about it and the bully got a good smacking. try to console your child and make him trust you so that he would tell you any problems that they may have either at school or in the community. get the trust of your child and the rest will work out by itself.
1 person likes this
• China
30 Nov 08
hello djoyce71 If i were this child's parents.I think i will ask my son what was happening with him and his classmate,and i need to find out,why he seems a little bit afraid. later will contact my son's teacher and his classmate's parents. just can not let it be.because that will happen again if we do not resove. cheers
1 person likes this
@Nhey16 (2519)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
I have always taught my kids, that no one has the right to do them bad or bully them, my husband had told our kids that they should fight back if that happens, but they just have to make sure that they're not the ones who started the fight. If there would be kid who will bully my kids, I will go to the school and talk to the class adviser and the kid who does bad to my kids. I will also tell the school administrator that they should tell the parents of that kid to go there so I could tell them what their kid is doing...
1 person likes this
@arunmails (3013)
• India
30 Nov 08
This is the one of the type of racism??? I don't like in such activities.... if the children does it without knowing, then I just talk to them, ask them to join my child as their friend..... but, if they are aware of those thing as behaves int he same manner..... then I will inform them to the police..... and they will take care of them......
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 08
I would definitely go to the school. If the child begs me not to then I would do it without their knowledge. If the child don't stop abusing then I would have the school involve the parents. There seems to be so much bullying today. Those that do it should really be punished harsh as a example to others. It is abuse and never should be ignored. I hope your friends son finds a peaceful resolution. I am glad they are going to the school about it. Silence would only allow the abuser to keep abusing.
@dong1970 (1573)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
As a parent the first initial reaction would be surprised for my son is bullied by his classmate.If it happens to my son i will surely go to the school and talk to his teachers why is it they tolerate this kind of situation.Actually it happens to my daughter personally and i've talk to her teacher about this and this pupil who bullied her was suspended for one weel.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
i'll probably talk to the parents of the child and if it will happen again i would go to the principal for some disciplinary actions.