Do you feel sorry for anyone that has had an abortion?

@maximax8 (27048)
November 30, 2008 8:31am CST
I wouldn't ever have an abortion because I think life starts at conception and a baby is innocent. There was a program on television a while ago that had the stories of some ladies that have had an abortion. One lady of the ladies has had four abortions in her life. Another of the ladies had an abortion at 23 weeks because she wasn't in a good situation for having a baby. In my home country abortion is allowed up to 24 weeks. She was poor and hadn't got a comfortable place to live. The other lady already had two children and her pregnancy was a surprise. She had her abortion at 14 weeks pregnancy and allowed it to be filmed. Afterwards she was too upset to talk about her feelings because she regretted aborting her baby. Yesterday I came across an Internet discussion about the program and the ladies experiences. The majority of people hated the lady that had has four abortions. Nearly all of them felt sorry for the mother of two that aborted her baby. Some of the people said they couldn't watch the program because it was so upsetting and some of them saw some of it when turned the television off.
8 people like this
29 responses
• United States
30 Nov 08
Touchy subject. Well I feel that if a woman has been raped and got pregnant as a result of that rape and gets a abortion because of it, then i feel bad for her. Or if the fetus is shown to have a disease or something that its going to die from, then I feel bad for her then to. But, if a woman get pregnant out of her own carelessness and then opts for a abortion just because she's not ready, then feeling sorry for her is the last emotion I feel.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
I think education in schools that teenagers go to is important. They should learn about birth control, relationships, pregnancy, abortion, adoption and baby care. If a lady is raped and got pregnant then had an abortion I would have pity for her. Sadly there is encouragement towards abortion from hospital staff if disability is from during pregnancy. I found out that my second son has spina bifida at 36 weeks pregnancy. The hospital staff gave me a grim picture of what lay ahead me and they even offered me an abortion. I said no and my son is now a happy little 18 month old.
• United States
30 Nov 08
I believe that abortion is the deliberate taking of a human life. There is huge controversy about when life begins---to me this doesn't matter---the end result of human pregnancy is a baby and interrupting that process is murder. But, the women who come to make the decision have many circumstances, as you have already pointed out. I feel very sorry for anyone who does chose to do this for any reason. And the sin [yes I think it is sin] is as forgivable as any other sin. When a person asks GOD for forgiveness I believe that GOD does not tell them HE will forgive all except that!! It is people who keep beating sinners over the head with past wrong doings, and we have all have pasts, some are just better known than others.
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@maximax8 (27048)
30 Nov 08
Pregnancy is dated from day 1, conception might happen on day 14 and the lady might have a positive pregnancy test on day 30. If I have a look at a week by week pregnancy book I can see the baby develops and gets bigger every week. If a lady has a medical abortion before 9 weeks pregnancy then she will have two pills and bleed a lot. Maybe that would be less difficult to go through for some ladies than a surgical abortion. That might lead to nightmares and depression. I would feel sorry for a lady seeking God's forgiveness. A decision to have an abortion is so final and the clock can't be turned back.
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@youless (86616)
• Guangzhou, China
30 Nov 08
I think it depends on. I think the abortion decision is very difficult. If possible, moms won't select this last decision. I think we have to be understanding them. Try to think for them. They have their own reasons and nobody wants to do it on purpose. As it's not only a harm for physical, but also for mental. But I think if they don't want to be pregnant, then they have to do some methods to avoid it. This is the most important. It will be quite upset to choose the abortion. I love China
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@maximax8 (27048)
30 Nov 08
Hello my friend Youless. I can decide on visiting Cape Town in 2009 and Vancouver will still be there in 2010. But if a lady has an abortion she can't turn the clock back however much she regrets it. In a back street abortion there might be physical harm and in any setting mental harm. Yes, I agree if in a serious relationship there should be some birth control method used. I hope to go to lovely China one day.
@bellebads (741)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
i hate it when someone have an abortion because its too unfair for the baby, the baby is innocent. a lot of married couple we're not able to have a child on their own but some mothers have the conscience to abort the baby. why not give the baby the chance to live. after pregnancy if you really don't want to have it atleast look for adoptive parents tat would be willing to give their love to the child. a new born baby is a gift from god, we must love them.
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (27048)
30 Nov 08
A baby is a gift and they can often be a surprise present. In pregnancy the emotions can run high and some ladies make the decision to have an abortion. They might regret this years later and it could lead to depression. I always agree with adoption and think that many married ladies want a baby but haven't been able to have one. Adopting a baby can be their dream come true. I love babies, each is precious.
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@eynjel05 (444)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
I don't know what to feel if I knew someone that undergone an abortion. But I felt very sorry for the baby. You are correct, the baby is inocent and it is not his choice. Remembering when I was still in college, we had a psychology subject where in we were encourage to watch a documentary film about women who undergone abortion. Some of them were just forced to do so because they are still not ready. But is it an acceptable reason? doing an abortion because of being not ready? It is not! It is so sad to found out that some countries are encouraging this kind of wrong doing..
1 person likes this
@maximax8 (27048)
30 Nov 08
I feel very sorry for every baby that is aborted. If I was the mother of a teenage daughter that got pregnant I would give her support and help her at the birth and assist her bringing up her baby. The documentary you watched sounds sad because to be pushed into having an abortion would be awful. I believe if not ready than many adoptive parents are and could give the baby a loving home.
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
1 Dec 08
This reminds me of the worst time of my life. My third child, against my will, was aborted. Admittedly we were having problems, but to this day I regret not being strong enough, and wish I had never singed that paper. I was on my own, against her, her doctor, and her famoly who all claimed having another baby would affect her mentaly. I disagreed, and our marriage only lasted a year or so after that. I still think today how my life might have been different had I not signed that paper.
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
Thanks for detailing this my friend. Your marriage might have been going through a rocky period and she might have very emotional in the pregnancy. She had the support of her family and her doctor. It was so sad that your third child was aborted against your wishes. It is terrible that it is only the mother's wishes are concerned.
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@mipen2006 (5528)
• Australia
1 Dec 08
Thankyou. I wish I had some supportive people at the time. I might have shown stronger character, but that's something I have had to live with.
@maximax8 (27048)
2 Dec 08
At challenging times in life it can be difficult to feel strong. People that have supportive friends around them in times of distress are lucky. The worst time of my life was when at 36 weeks pregnancy spina bifida was found. The last month of my pregnancy was a nightmare.
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8400)
30 Nov 08
Having four misscarrages was bad enough ,but to actually kill my own baby ,I could not do it but that is purely personal.These poor girls how do they live with themsleves ,all my pregnacys were awful till I got through the first four monthes then I could breath a sigh of relief.I ended up with three babies who are grown up ,my youngest is fifteen and he is brilliant most of the time.I often think what the others would have looked like but that does not do,I am so grateful for what I have got,Abortion for me no ,I am not telling the rest of the world what to do,unless it is really necessary and you have no choice think again please for your own sake.xx
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
It is excellent that you have got three grown up children. I am so sorry to hear about your four miscarriages. The early stage of each of your pregnancies must have been awful. At 16 weeks pregnancy you felt well again so that was superb. I agree that ladies thinking about an abortion should think again. In life it is easy to think about the current time but the future is unknown. Ladies that have aborted often get depressed later in life. xx
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8400)
1 Dec 08
Thank you very much and I am very gratful for your kind words.
@maximax8 (27048)
2 Dec 08
You are welcome. Have a lovely day.
@marketing07 (6266)
• South Korea
2 Dec 08
i think the baby is innocent..in my own experience it wss my 1st month of having a gallbladder surgery ..i was got pregnant in suprised...most of my family and friends was scared for that pregnancy including my husband..evryone advised me to have an abortion..but i stand for it,.she is was 18 months old now...and i never regret it.so for all womens having an abortion...i pity them coz they dont know how to love their kids...have a nice day
@maximax8 (27048)
2 Dec 08
Hello marketing 07. You got pregnant around the time of surgery so that was scary for you and your husband. I am so pleased you didn't abort and your husband gave you support. It is excellent that your daughter is 18 months old now, so is my son. Thanks for detailing your experience of pregnancy that was successful.
@makingpots (11928)
• United States
1 Dec 08
Hi, maximax8. That would have been a difficult show for me to watch. The church I attend has an abortion ministry. It is a community wide ministry meaning it is available to more than just the women of our church. I know from being a part of the womens ministry planning team that it is a MUCH needed opportunity in my community. The women need a safe place to come to terms with the feelings they have surrounding their choice. There are many hurting woman who made their decision out of desparation and now need to be surrounded with love and understanding.
@maximax8 (27048)
2 Dec 08
Hi making pots. Thanks so very much for detailing what your church is doing in its abortion ministry. It is heartwarming to find out that it is offering support to ladies that regret the abortion they had. I think it is a shame that a lady considering abortion can't talk to ladies that have done this in the past. She might decide that the future depression and regret is not for her.
@perla04 (17)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
Getting abortion is not really a good practice to anyone who wants to do abortion. It's a mortal sin because you are killing the life of an innocent baby. Life begins the time the sperm and the egg cell unite to each other. I had a friend before who got pregnant for two months in her young age of 15 and since the incident wasn't known by their parents she decided to abort the baby. And did you know what happened to that young lady? She got ill d. And shes always wandering, sometimes she's not in her mind set. After that incident happened to her,. she then asked sorry to her parents.
@maximax8 (27048)
2 Dec 08
I believe that life begins at conception. The later stage of pregnancy has the baby kicking and lovely ultra sound pictures. However the early stages of pregnancy the lady might be tired and suffer from morning sickness. If she is horrified when she sees the word 'pregnant' on the home pregnancy test she might have a difficult time coming to terms with her pregnancy. I am so sorry to hear that your friend got pregnant at 15 and didn't tell her parents. It is sad that she aborted and it was brave of her to eventually tell her parents.
@williamjisir (22909)
• China
1 Dec 08
Hello maximax. I do feel so sorry for those who have had an abortion. I agree with you that a baby is innocent and is supposed to be given the right to be born whatever the situation is. If she has no intention to have another baby, birth control must be adopted before this unexpected case happens. Thank you for the discussion.
@maximax8 (27048)
2 Dec 08
Hello my friend Williamjisir. I think that birth control is very important indeed and so education must tell teenagers how to avoid pregnancy. It is a shame that adoption is not more popular because the baby gets to live and an adoptive couple can become parents. You are welcome. Take care.
@djmarion (4905)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
We have different opinions regarding abortion and i know many will not agree with each other but my faith still stands, i am against it and i will not commit anything to kill the baby in my womb. That baby we're trying to kill is still our own flesh and blood and no matter how we say that 14 week blood is not yet a child we cannot deny the fact that he/she is still a child, our child. many discussion has been started and repeated about abortion and a lot of members here quarreled with each other's point of view. my principle stands that no matter what the circumstances of the child in your womb, he/she still has the right to see the light of life.
@maximax8 (27048)
2 Dec 08
I hope that most My Lot members are interested in discussing things and respect each others view points. However there will always be a few people like you suggest quarrel with each other. It is excellent that your faith is strong and that you think at whatever stage of pregnancy a baby is precious. I feel happy when he or she is able to be born alive and cared for.
• United States
1 Dec 08
I think I would feel sorry for anyone who has had an abortion simply for having to make the decision, whether their decision is judged as "right" or "wrong." True I think some cases are more valid reasoning than others, but still everyone of these women has had some personal "reason" for their decision. I myself do not know exactly what would happen if i were to have an unplanned pregnancy. The matter being a number of reasons. I'm still young to start that kind of responsibility, I'm going to college, I'm unemployed, I am supported by my boyfriend and live with him, and we are not even close to being financially ready as we do not even have a car. I think I would want to try in fact we sort of agreed on that, but we know it would be very difficult. I don't think I could live with myself to abort something that was created by myself and my only love. It's a loaded topic but interesting yet.
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
I can see that you are not planning to get pregnant. Good luck with your studies and I wish you a bright future. I think that the most valid reason for abortion would be a lady that has conceived through rape. I would feel sorry for such a lady like that. Sadly hospitals that find a baby will be disabled will suggest abortion even after the 24 week cutoff. I think that a lady could get used to being pregnant and give her baby a chance. He or she could be adopted at the end of the pregnancy.
• United States
1 Dec 08
Yes because people have no idea what these women go through when they choose to have one. Having an abortion is never an easy thing. It is not like you wake up one day and say "I am going to have an abortion today". It is not like that at all. The minute you find out that you are going to have a baby, you begin to ask those questions, and you are scared. There are so many reasons why women have an abortion.
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
It must be scary for a lady to get a positive pregnancy result when she really doesn't want to be pregnant. She might be emotional due to hormonal changes. She would have to think very carefully about her choice. Abortion must be a desperate decision but it is so final. With open adoption a lady could meet her child yearly whilst the adoptive parents care for him or her.
1 Dec 08
It depends on the circumstances. I dont like abortion but only under certain circumstances. the only way is if its a child that was raped and it would take her life or if a woman was raped and didnt deserve what she got no woman deserves to be raped, but it does happen. But other girls who get themselves in trouble should prepare for the responsibilty, that includes the boys or men.
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
Rape is a horrible thing that can sadly happen to some women. In my home country if raped a lady could go to the police station then stop by at a chemist to get the morning after pill. A few years ago one of my friends had a birth control failure and knew that she was at risk of pregnancy and so her boyfriend took her a chemist and she had an interview. Then she was sold the morning after pill.
@smiley83 (1536)
• Malaysia
1 Dec 08
hey, yeah i hate it and it is difficult though...although, i'm not married yet,,but i'm really hoping to never experience that... women usually have to do it if they fall under difficult circumstances... smiley,
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
Hello Smiley. I am glad that you are hoping never to experience an unwanted pregnancy. It must be terrible when a person falls under difficult circumstances. That is what happened to the lady that aborted her baby at 23 weeks pregnancy.
@cienna (50)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
i am against abortion. i believe that life starts at conception and we don't have the right to take that away from anybody. if a lady didn't want a baby, she should have been more careful not to have one. prevention is key. there are many kinds of birth control. now, if a baby is on the way, then i guess someone should take responsibility. it's not like they didn't know what they're getting into before they did it. yes, i feel sorry for those who had abortion. some, if not most, of them regretted having done it. there are also those tormented for the rest of their lives. babies are blessings, or so i heard from many of them who have. and there are many couples wanting to have babies. so it's not right to kill one just because it's not planned or wanted.
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
Many ladies that have an abortion feel distress later in life, get depressed and the memory can torment them. That sounds terrible and I wish that the lady had a good method of birth control in place. No form of birth control is 100% reliable so it is a great idea for a higher education student to use two methods of birth control. Thanks for your superb response.
@mods196621 (3631)
• Philippines
30 Nov 08
In my place abortion did not allowed by the govt. and the church. It was now the big issue in our country because some of the govt. officials push through to make abortion legal. But most of the people here are catholic that against abortion. And now talking a the ladies who got their abortion in multiple times, for me that was not good into her body. The uterus may damage and the lining or wall inside become thin and if she decided to get pregnant again it will become very harmful to her. If possible the mother needs only to have three times of getting pregnant and if abortion got happened at least once or it will be equal times as you got pregnant. The lining inside the uterus is thin and it dosden't have the capacity to got a multiple abortion. I feel sorry for them, from the conception period I believe they will have life already.
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
I notice that even though abortion is illegal in your home country some government officials are trying to push through to make it legal. I know that in some countries back street abortions take place and they can be a serious health risk. Thanks for pointing out the damage inside that multiple abortions do to a lady. Life begins at conception and then the baby gets bigger and develops during the rest of pregnancy.
• United States
30 Nov 08
I also am against abortion; it is killing. But I do feel sorry for the women. I have seen the very aggressive way that Planned Parenthood and other pro choice operations push women to abortion -- some of them even forbid their counselors from counseling anything at all but abortion. They can't even mention there are other options available and allow the woman to go find them on her own!! That is a horrible way to be, and it shows how sinister and uncaring those groups really are. Many times women are told it is not a baby, just a "clump of cells", when in fact the baby has already formed completely -- they say if they told them the truth about the fetus, then almost none of them would have an abortion!!!! How's that for showing the real reasons behind the abortion industry?! SO, knowing what these women were put thru at such an emotional and confused time of their lives, yes, I feel very sorry for them. I saw an interview of the woman who was the "Roe" in "Roe v Wade". She said that she was used and pushed to court because they HAD to have a pregnant woman to make the case go forward. They COULD have taken her to get a real abortion (illegally but "safely")if they really cared about her situation or her, but they made her have her baby because they needed that for the case to be heard. They didn't help her with caring for the baby once it was born. She was on her own. But she was sucked into their mindset and their agenda, still, thinking women should not have to go thru what she went thru. Until one day she said she noticed the Christians who were protesting the clinic, and noticed that they offered comfort to the women, whether the women had the abortion or didn't. She noticed all the offers to help the women thru the pregnancy, adoption or keeping the baby, and help with material goods and finances. She had never in 20 years of working for "their cause" seen that caring towards the women; it was just a constant push push push to abort more babies. She started talking to them, and in the end, she became saved. Later she wrote about her experiences with the pro abortion groups. Yeah, I totally feel sorry for the women that have abortions, and especially if they fall into the hands of those most extreme, who will not allow her to have the choice that they say they want women to have. Instead, they offer/permit/allow/counsel only one choice: abortion. There is nothing about abortion that is good, or right. It is completely murder. But the women are so mislead, so uncared for, so confused. I could not hurt them further, but only show them Christ's love.
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
Thanks for your excellent response. If a girl or lady finds out she has an unwanted pregnancy she should realize she has three options: adopt her baby to a loving couple, have an abortion or bring up her baby. It is sad that some pregnant teenagers go to a place like Planned Parenthood. They plan on giving the teenager an abortion and are probably not going to suggest adoption. The Roe v wade is an very interesting thing to discuss.
• Netherlands
30 Nov 08
It dipence how and when and why this person had to get a abortion. I think in some cases it is realy good to have a abortion. Your first exemple Is a good one and your second one also. We must be very glad that we have this option nowwadays. I don't think it is good for the child to live a un happy live when it's not welkom. I also think that in the poor countries it must be a normal thing. These people can't feed ore support their children so for them it must be a outcome to have this uppertunitie.
@maximax8 (27048)
1 Dec 08
Abortion is sad for the baby. If very lucky the mother will carry the pregnancy until after the birth and then have the baby adopted. Then the baby will grow up with loving adoptive parents. It must be terrible for a poor couple to have lots of children that they can't properly care for. I think that education has a place in teaching people about birth control. Thanks for your response. I really like discussing things.