Are you a people person? I like people but I guess I'm reserved! How about you?

United Kingdom
November 30, 2008 3:33pm CST
I guess I like people! There's only one problem! I have difficulty spending time with a whole group of people in the same room! I know that this sounds absurd but I guess it's just the way I am. I'm quiet and reserved but I would like to participate more when it comes to spending some quality time with a lot of people that I trust, being in the same room and so forth! How are you as regards this particular area of life? Do you have some kind of coping strategy? I would be interested in your thoughts on this one! Andrew
5 people like this
23 responses
• United States
1 Dec 08
Hello, well I thins there a ren`t strategies, it`s just a matter of confidence. See, you have to remember who you are with in those moments, you know, they are probably your friends your family and they already know you, so... wht`s the matter about sharing quality time with them? Yes, I am reserved too, and sometimes is quite difficult if there are posponed discussions and stuff without being solved but the most important is to remember you`re in their hearts and viceversa. I was also thinking that sometimes people feel in the way you do befcaus, probably are concerned about what other would say if they change their natural and regular behaviour... so what?...life is to change sometimes, is the live it thae best way possible, and there is something I always say to myself: You`ll never have other day like today, you`ll never have another December 1st of this year, so try to enjoy what the day brings to you... we`ll never have the chance to see all our family together, probably this christmas is the last so why not to be completly free and surprise your relatives and friends with the cheerful and funny you? bye, Isabel from Colombia
3 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
Hi Isabel, thanks for your thoughts, they are very encouraging. You sound quite a confident person yourself. It is true, I think that it's important to be yourself and I'm slowly working on this now. I'm starting to find self-acceptance! Anyway, I'm looking forward to making some more improvements in the new year. Andrew
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
I am a people person. I talk to everyone!! The cashiers, waitresses, waiters and salesclerks. When I worked in the public people always loved coming to see me because the knew I would chat with them not just do the job I was working on at the time. I still to this day have people say I know you from ..... wherever it was they remembered me. It is so funny. My daughter gets so freaked out and says 'do you know everybody?' I grew up in this town. It only has 21,000 people in it. I have gone to school here and worked here the majority of my life so YES I know a LOT of people!!! LOL
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
30 Nov 08
I admire you for having that talent, you are obviously comfortable with yourself and it's nice to hear that someone is so friendly and warm.
2 people like this
@SketcherD (1114)
• Canada
30 Nov 08
Well thank ya!!
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
30 Nov 08
That's great! 21,000 people doesn't sound like that much but when you are in a small town then things are different! It sounds like you are very happy within your skin though and that's really good! I too am learning to find self-acceptance now although I still find groups a lot of hard work! Andrew
2 people like this
@sweetie1026 (1723)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
I like meeting people and making new friends. I love having many friends too. But there is a certain group of friends that i enjoy being with all the time. I have no problem being with a crowd of people but there are times that i just want to be by myself. Though, i love and enjoy my friends' company, they understand when i am quiet while they are having a good laugh. Guess, i am a bit of both.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
I'm going to come out with this positive statement now! I love being in a group of people!! There! I said it. I don't feel any change though! I guess it takes work when you have not been used to that kind of environment. I'm really glad that I am comfortable in my own skin though. Andrew
• Philippines
2 Dec 08
Yes, it is but i am glad that you are comfortable in your own skin as you have said. spending quality time with people you trust is great!Being with people and having to interact with them is great too. Like we do here in mylot, though we don't get to see each other, i enjoy interacting with you, my friend!
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
2 Dec 08
Thanks, that's nice you area real sweetie! Speak soon. Andrew
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
30 Nov 08
I am not a people person my friend, I guess I am used to and prefer my own company too much and tend to shy away from social occasions like parties and clubbing etc, but when I am on my course there are 18 of us and there are only two males, I do find for the first three or four lessons I am very shy and aloof, but I soon gain the confidence to be able to speak up. In a room of strangers you fear being judged and if whatever you do you are judged upon and people tend to assume what a nasty word that is, if you don't say anything people automatically assume, so better they assume right by speaking up and being friendly, although I do find that hard to do, being wary of strangers, but hey I am getting there. It's whatever you feel comfortable with. Unfortunately I have learnt that we cannot be an island in life we cannot cut ourselves off and we have to interact with others, whether we like it or not. You probably couldn't get a more reserved person than me. I do have the confidence but it has been buried beneath life's experiences which have pulled me to pieces, but I am digging away and know the confidence is there. You follow your own rules not others.
• United Kingdom
30 Nov 08
Hi wolfie, I guess I'm a lot like you in that I like my own company and I too tend to shy away from social gatherings! Like you, I also attended a course in IT and we started out with 16 people and eventually the class dropped to about five of us! How did I do this? I don't know. I did complete the course and I have made a couple of good friends as a result of that class. When I first started the class yes, I was very quiet and I felt daunted by the prospect of getting to know the other members of the class. Anyway, I acheived on that course, I completed it successfully and I was so pleased, I am so pleased! I do have plans for my future and I am beginning to accept now that there are some things that you just have to do in life. I like the idea though of not following other people's rules! Andrew
2 people like this
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
30 Nov 08
I bet you any money that those who dropped out thought like you, but unlike you took the easy way out, you persevered! And you reaped the results, not only did you finish the course but you made friends! What does that say! It's easy to give up my friend, but you didn't so take solace in that and be proud of yourself!
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
Hi Wolfie, thanks for your words, they were very helpful. I guess taking that course has been my biggest achievement to date. I really hope that I can continue the trend! Once upon a time when I used to take regular courses I was one of the ones that tended to quit at the beginning! However, the latest course that I took has been a huge turnaround for me! Thanks. Andrew
1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3853)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
1 Dec 08
Hello, AndrewFreyne. I'm pretty open to people I do not know. If I am meeting somebody, I'll talk to them normally and then I make some good friends. However, after I know some people, I cannot talk to them like before. For example: in my classroom, when we just got there, everybody was new. I talked to a lot of people, and made my friends. I cannot talk to 40 people, so I just made some friends, while keeping in chat with others. But I did not spend much time with the others. Now, I find it strange to talk to them. I'd rather be quiet and alone than talk to them. They are always in a group, and I would find it strange to be there. I usually spend some quality time with the friends that I made, though. And I can talk to everybody, but it just won't feel as good as talking to my friends. But hey, I have no trouble in communicating at all. I can talk to anybody, and I mean anybody. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
That's great that you have found a position that you are comfortable with. It's a really good thing that you know yourself. I too am coming to learn about the way I tick! I like people but I find it difficult being in a group. Still, I'm working on improving myself slowly. Andrew
1 person likes this
@munhozmib (3853)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
2 Dec 08
I still have not found the perfect place for me. No matter where I am, my heart is always sad when I realize that I want to be noticed by some other people as well. But no matter how hard I try, it's just not me... I cannot enter their group. I can't feel comfortable there.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
i would say i am a people person this has been developed in me. i was born shy and introvert not a people person it could be that my mom would not allow me to play with other kids way back i was small but as i meet a lot of people i started to open up and talking with them until i am one of those who would smile around and try to open up with people. another reason would be my work requires me to meet a lot of people everyday with different attitudes and personalities. just open up yourself and smile a lot!!!
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
That sounds like good advice! I shall definitely have to try that one! I was pretty quiet as well as shy in my childhood and I guess I never socialised that much. So, I guess I have a fair amount of learning to do! Despite that, I am happy in my own skin. Andrew
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
as long as you are happy then so be it but if being an introvert bothers you a lot then maybe you can try it out! best regards.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 08
I hate people. As in the general public of people at least. I'm not joking. I have 1 best friend, her family, and my family. I can play friendly, I can make conversation. But as a whole, people annoy me. And I avoid socializing with random people because I just get emotionally drained from it. I was pretty friendly as a kid. I sometimes wonder if I'm repressing something that caused me to become such a loner. I don't really care most of the time though. I'm happy with my life.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
I think that that is a great thing if you are happy with your life! I too am becoming content with my own existance. I generally don't have anything against people, I just find those huge groups quite discomforting! Anyway, the New Year is right around the corner and I hope that I can make things better for myself! Andrew
1 person likes this
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
1 Dec 08
I don't really blame you for the way you feel. While I do like people I have become something of a recluse over the years. Maybe you have a point. I do get emotionally drained myself from time to time socializing randomly. I don't know what to say sometimes in certain situations and maybe it is possible that you yourself and myself might not want to be rejected. I have been hurt before in life and it stinks!
1 person likes this
@alokn99 (5717)
• India
1 Dec 08
I used to like to be like that. Spending time with a lot of people for hours together listening, sharing my opinion, having a good laugh once in a while and so on..An in the beginning would be to myself and would open out over a period of time. Things have changes a lot over the years and i somehow prefer to keep to my self and get into socialiasing very little these days and only say what i want, when i want.
@bamakelly (5194)
• United States
1 Dec 08
I am the same way. I used to like to spend a lot of time with people for long periods of time and sharing views and opinions and the like. For some reason I have also changed during the years and have become quite a recluse myself. Sometimes I can get lonely and want to get out and socialize. I am pretty busy as a stay at home mother though.
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
I guess that's the normal thing, spending some quality family time together. Still, I'm not that comfortable when it comes to huge groups. I see many people doing this everyday and I just wonder if I can ever progress to that level. Well, I'm comfortable in my own skin I think and that is important. Andrew
1 person likes this
@mone101 (138)
• India
1 Dec 08
well yeah i m people's person... i enjoy talking to different and unique kind of person,or should i say this is how i gain knowledge about the world,whats going on around.. so if you've got a good talking ability,which makes sense.. so it would not be a difficult task ...to become a peoples person..!
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
That sounds reasonable. I guess if we can communicate well in My Lot then there's a good chance that we are going to be able to communicate with others outside in the real world! I just have to put some work into my confidence! Anyway, thanks. Andrew
@gracie04 (4555)
• Philippines
1 Dec 08
I am a reserved person.. i don't like spending time with a group of people.. i don't know, it's just that i am not comfortable being with them..i tend to shy away and mingle with my hubby or close friends..
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
I guess it's really nice when you have a group of close friends. I think it's always going to be difficult to meet new people if you are not comfortable with this. I'm trying to improve but I guess this is a very slow process. Andrew
@zhangfzoe (432)
• China
1 Dec 08
I'm a reserved person. I want to join a group of people who I trust , I will feel comfortable. But I afraid face to face to one person who I don't familar with. Because I don't know how to start a talk and enjoy the talk. If I am talked to , I feel it's more easy for me to keep a dailouge going.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
I think it's hard to talk to strangers, at least I have difficulty with this. I guess once you come to know someone though things do become that much easier. I guess I'm still trying to work on my social skills! Andrew
@sameroad (3180)
• United States
1 Dec 08
I'm not a people person at all. I have maybe 5 people who I can really truly and fully feel comfortable to be myself around. I'm super shy and never really talk at all..even if your talking up a storm to me.. i'll say maybe 2-5 words lol I want to be more of people person though, i want to be able to talk to people and feel comfortable around them to be myself and show myself to someone. I am very closed off from people. I don't show anyone anything and so i do understand why i am alone and have no friends really. I have a small few but i never get to see them. So i've been trying to make some new ones but it's not going so well because i don't talk very much because i'm too shy to open up and i also have social anxiety..so i guess they get bored with me. if i could only be who i was online though it would be easy for me to make friends. online i have no problem really. i mean i'm still shy sometimes but as you can see from this response i have no problem talking to people. now if you were standing in front of me, you'd be lucky if i made eye contact with you. I've gotten better but i've still have so much work to do. I have no strategys yet lol i should get some tho!
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
Yes, you are an excellent communicator as your response clearly shows. I guess I feel like you at times! I tend to turn in on myself when I am with a group of people. I have a couple of good friends who I can really rely on and I don't know where I would be without them. PM me if you like as I would like to learn more about your social anxiety. Andrew
• United States
1 Dec 08
I work very well with the people around me so I am a people person as long as that person doesn't bother me or anything like that.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
It's sounds like you find it quite easy being around a lot of people, I wish I could be like that. Anyway, welcome to My Lot, this place is great, I'm sure that you will like it here. Andrew
1 person likes this
@bcote212 (1113)
• United States
1 Dec 08
I like to consider myself a people person, but at the same time I do tend to be reserved when I am in a big group of people. I guess my comfort lies in one on one or small groups. When Im around my two roomates I have no problem being the center of attention or saying just about anything, but when im a group of people I tend to be more of a listener.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
What is it about groups? I'm exactly like that, I tend to feel uncomfortable in huge groups. I wish that things were different but it's just the way I am. Anyway, I hope that I can make some improvements in the New Year. Andrew
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (33623)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
30 Nov 08
I like meeting new people. If I'm in a room full of people, chances are I'll easily be able to talk at least one or two people, not including people I know. But I'm also the type of person who likes to have by herself. I'm just that type of person.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
I guess a discussion like this is good in that it makes us reflect on the way we are in particular situations. I'm generally quiet natured and I don't really socialise when it comes to parties and things like that. I have a few friends whom I really get on well with and I guess it's quite important that I continue to nurture these current friendships. Andrew
2 people like this
• Japan
30 Nov 08
I am not a people person. I have a few good friends and prefer to spend my time and energy nuturing these friendships. My husband is the opposite, he will chat away to anyone, goes on courses to meet new people. Jacks
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
I guess that's a good thing! It's important to nurture the current friendships that we have; I shall definitely work on that technique! I would like to learn and grow although I have always been reluctant to put myself out in the field as it were! Your husband sounds as though he has grasped the concept of social interaction! Andrew
1 person likes this
@shymurl (2768)
• United States
30 Nov 08
I would consider myself not a people person. I use to be in the public eye a lot and never liked it. I would just try to block out everyone and concentrate on what i'm doing but its not easy. i'm a polite person and know how to handle myself with people, I just prefer not to. If i'm in a room full of people I trust and know then i'm okay.
2 people like this
• United Kingdom
30 Nov 08
I know what you mean by being in the public eye, I have found that very uncomfortable at times! I guess when it comes to family then it should be perfectly normal when being with them! The smiles should continue as well as the laughter! However, I don't know why I am not like that! There have been many Christmases in the past when I felt like a fish out of water! Still, I'm working on just being myself and I feel that this is very important. Andrew
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 08
im an introvert and am practicing the art of being a hermit lol! i get along with ppl quite easily..and ive been told at least, that im easy to get along with. however i dont like being around ppl. i dont even like being around extended family members. i dont like crowds, which is why i dont like going shopping etc. groups of ppl make me extremely nervous..we're talking lots of sweat nervous. so i do everything i can to avoid them as much as possible. i really dont leave the house unless i absolutely have to. ive been told a few times that i should see a doctor..::sigh:: i dont want to go to the damn doctors office and sit with all those ppl and them have the dr tell me that there really isnt anything wrong, that its all in my head. sure it might be all in my head but having a panic attack and sweating like a pig in the bbq sure makes a big impression on ppl lol! bah doctors...besides the doctor will have to touch me, i dont care if you need to hear my heartbeat, dont touch me! there..i am such a ppl person it makes me sick LMAO!
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
1 Dec 08
I'm beginning to understand something of what you have been going through. I too am reserved and quiet and I'm not that keen on being in groups either! I too start to sweat when this trauma is prolonged! Is there anything wrong? I just don't know but surely building up a sweat cannot be good for the system! I am happy and content with the way that I am though and I don't believe that you should try and change in accordance with other people's views. I do get out of my flat although I don't go socialising or anything of that nature. Andrew
• United States
2 Dec 08
depending on which family member i talk to (lol) it COULD be social anxiety disorder, agoraphobia (think thats the right one..where you're afraid to leave the house but not sure) or just all in my head and using it as an excuse to not have to go anywhere. lol isnt family wonderful? thppss!
1 person likes this
@bombshell (11266)
• Germany
7 Dec 08
i love being arround with my friends but i am selecting friends.i laughed to the bones but i dont laughed that much if i dont like who i am with .i am quite you know crab.crab is quite but hmmmmm dangerous hahahaha.
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 08
That's a good thing! I too am selective regarding my friends! I'm generally quiet too but I guess I can open up after a while! Andrew
@Anne18 (11036)
4 Dec 08
I am a very private person, but I do like people and I am a people person when I want ot be and I am a very good people person
1 person likes this
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 08
That sounds great Anne. I too would like to think that I'm a kind of people person! I would love to become comfortable with meeting new people, I guess I tend to think too much about things rather than grabbing the bull by the horns! Andrew