how to do with hormones?
December 4, 2008 9:59am CST
my mother is getting tired fo how my brother acts. with all of his hormones, and she is just about at the brink of wanting to pull her hair out. how woudl you deal with hormones? Have you ever experienced this problem? what did you do? did you do it right? would you had changed anything?
4 Dec 08
I am just entering the "hormone" phase with both my 14 year old son and my almost 11 year old daughter, man some days I think if I make it out with at least some of my sanity....I will be happy!!! Basically I do a lot of talking, communication seems to help out a lot. I do remove privilages, and let them experience a lot of safe, natural consequences that will help them to have some accountability for the choices they are making. For example, my oldest is in high school now, he has the choice to take the city bus to school in the morning or to have me drive him on my way to work, however if he chooses to come with me, he has to be ready when I am ready to leave, or I leave, and he will have to walk to the bus stop and take the next bus...that will make him late for school and I will not call it in as an excused absence. This is all a new phase of parenting for me, so I am sure that by the time my younger two go through it I will have had the time to learn from whatever mistakes I have made this time around. this time it is a lot of prayers and revision of plans, and talking to friends and family with older children that have been there and done that, and also talking with friends that have kids the same ages to find support from. I find working closely with teachers, counsellors, home, and groups (youth group, guides, scouts etc.) really helps as well. If we are all on the same page and my kids are accountable for the same things at all levels it becomes more of a way of life. This far I believe that the choice theory works the best, and I also believe that I am their parent not their friend, but if I am willing to give something back when I expect something they will come to respect me (mine already do) When they are having a bad day, and they do speak back to me, I simply tell them "You can feel angry because you are having a bad day, you can disagree with me if you want to, too; but you do NOT get to talk to me that way, because I do NOT talk to you that way when I am having trouble with what you are doing or saying or how you are acting." My daughter was acting out quite a bit (I posted a discussion on it) I found that getting her into girl guides, and into a jr. youth group have both helped her immensely.