Would like some Advice please......

@Modestah (11192)
United States
December 4, 2008 10:08am CST
My beloved husband had a doctor appt. today and the doc told him that if he does not quit smoking he will have a heartattack within five years. DH is still young in his mid-40s. The advice I am looking for is: How can I encourage him in quiting without being a nag? Have you quit smoking? What did you find helpful. What did you find made it harder (a nagging wife/husband, heh?) Have you helped a loved one to quit? how? Thank you for your time and consideration in responding to this sincere and serious question.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@ladyljs (1303)
• United States
5 Dec 08
Hi friend! I can only be as blunt as it needs to be. I lost my husband 3 years ago to lung cancer. The worst part is the doctors never diagnosed it! He would go into a doctors office and they would listen to his lungs and say....you have never smoked! THEY DON'T KNOW!!!! He smoked 3 packs a day for over 20 years. He prided himself on the fact that the docs didn't know. I begged, pleaded...got him the patch, pills, even hypnosis! Nothing worked But...then came the day. He had a lymph node in his neck that swelled, the VA did surgery and sent it in for sampling. It came back positive with Small Cell Lung Cancer. THERE IS NO CURE!!!!! He was given 2 months to live. The cancer went to his brain and bones and in less than 2 months he was gone. From a strapping 6'0 - 200 pound all muscle man, we was less than 120 at last weigh in. NOT A GOOD SIGHT TO SEE!!! S0 there it is ...straight and to the point. If you smoke, you can die! If you quit...you will live. Is there anu easier question to answer? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE for the sake of the family do the right thing!
@jillhill (37384)
• United States
5 Dec 08
I would be no help. I smoke...have quit...have cut down....and still smoke. For me the worst part is everyone bugging me about it. The more they bug me the more I continue to do it. I'll quit when I am ready....and I am almost there...good luck to your hubby!
1 person likes this
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
5 Dec 08
Jill, that is what I am afraid of - that my concern for him will result in what he finds nagging - which will drive him to smoke all the more. So, I want to be supportive in a silent kind of way...if that is possible. if your health is deteriorating from the smoking, I do hope that you will find what is necessary to help you as well. I feel for you all that struggle with it, I smoked for a short time and was still compelled towards it for quite some time after I quit.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Dec 08
i would simply ask to talk,and mention the idea of him having a heart attack frightens and upsets you,and could he please stop for your piece of mind,you don't want to be alone. i know if i was told that,i'd stop.
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
9 Dec 08
yep plead with him on my behalf as well as the kids... also, his own. he will still be young in five years and so will some of his children... when we married he became mine and I don't want my body smokin (heh)
@williamjisir (22903)
• China
6 Dec 08
Hello Modestah. Well, I think that the interior factor is more important than the exterior factor. My father-in-law realized the bad effects on his health when he was told by his doctor and he started to quit smoking right then without giving it a second try. He is a great success in giving up smoking. I hope that your loved husband will realize it soon and quit smoking soon. Good luck to you and take care, friend.
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
9 Dec 08
thank you, kind william. my father was able to quit like that too - no turning back from 3 packs a day to none. both my parents quit when my brother was in second grade and came home crying to them to please quit.
• India
5 Dec 08
hi i m a physiotherapist..i know it is difficult to stop smoking when once we stated to smoke...try to keep ur husband from that smoking mind like to advice him to take meditation and yoga for daily in morning and night and try to cook the nice food and provide for him... but don't try to advice too much becz advice can also make him to smoke...please take care ur husband and be happy ur life so long,,,,god will bless u""""
@Modestah (11192)
• United States
9 Dec 08
thank you Charles.