From this day forward until death do us part.

@Humbug25 (12552)
December 6, 2008 1:02pm CST
My parents got divorced when I was 10 years old. My father went off with a younger woman but things probably weren't right before all that happened. I don't know many people who's parents are still together. Are your parents still together? What do you think their secret is of keeping a marriage going for a long time?
3 people like this
20 responses
@aisaellis22 (6449)
• United States
7 Dec 08
Hello humbug25! This time, I am touch with your story. I know how hard and sad it is for you when your mom and dad separated. It looks to me that you faced many hardships from your childhood to your marriage life. I salute you and I know that you're a very strong woman, raising your three kids alone. I don't know if I can survive if I am in your place. Anyway, my parents are still together until now. I can still see how much my father love my mother and how much my mother love my father too. Believe it or not, they are still very sweet. Although sometimes they fight and argued. I guess it's normal in a relationship. I am not sure about their secret but the bottomline is, "they love each other and they can't live without each other"
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi there aisaellis22 Aww thanks for your kind words and you see I can be serious when I want to be! LOL . I did actually marry someone that was a bit like my dad in the sense of dominance! Me and my and kids are so much better without him so I have no problems with being on my own with my kids but it is tiring, not that their father ever lifted a finger to help like ever. Anyway that is great to hear that your parents are still very much in love and hope they will be for a very long time to come. Thanks for your response my friend
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Thanks aisaellis22
• United States
6 Dec 08
My parents divorced when I was around four and I never remember them getting along very well. I don't know many people who's parents are still together either. I think that is my main reason for not really believing in marriage. People give me grief over it but I don't want to end up like my parents did.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
6 Dec 08
Hi there alyssakenzie I agree with Polly289, that is sad. I dn't think that it is right that people give you grief over it but don't be scared of it either eh? If you feel it is right then go for it if not then wait for the right person. With the right person it will work. Like Polly said you are not your parents and probably won't make the mistakes your parents seemed to. Take care and thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12552)
6 Dec 08
Hi Polly289 I couldn't agree with you more!!
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
7 Dec 08
Yes my parents are still together thy have been together for over 30 years, but I have no idea what there secret is, I dont think there really is a secret when it comes to marriage I think its just a matter of how committed two people are, and how strong the bond is between the two, but my parent's are a little old fashion in they have strong beliefs when it comes to marriage. Oh by the way nice avatar change its neet how you kept the Simpson's but changed it to your holiday theme.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi apples99 I think every couple have their own secret, or a method that works for them. I am glad you like my avatar, just remind me to change it back once the holiday season is over as I don't want any bad luck not when things are going quite well for me at the moment!! LOL Thanks apples
@apples99 (6564)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Ok I will make sure and remind you after the holidays are over to change it back.
@jason1308 (1587)
• France
6 Dec 08
My parents got divorced when i was 14, they had been together for 25 years. When i was growing up they were always arguing and mum was always crying. Dad was seeing someone else. Although my dad remarried, mum never did and to this day, i think she never got over it and still talks about him on a daily basis. Marriage is hard work, I have been with my husband for 16 years now and we have four children together. We have our ups and downs but I would never cheat on him, and has far as I know he wouldn't either. Marriage is build on trust and understanding of each others needs, and loving each other through think and thin.Sometimes I think Marriage can be thrown away to quickly without talking out your problems, and if children are involved it's even tougher.
2 people like this
• France
6 Dec 08
The reply above it from me, my daft husband forgot to sigh out...sorry for the confussion
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12552)
6 Dec 08
Hi there amanda333 Yes I might well have got confused when you started to talk about your husband and 4 kids Hahahaha That is sad about your parents and to see the pain your mum went through but it sounds like it certainly hasn't effected you and your marriage and wish you long and happy marriage together! Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@violeta_va (4842)
• Australia
7 Dec 08
Growing up I never knew anyone who has been divorced. Later on I found out that my mother's sister was because he was very abusive man. The first person that I knew that got divorced was my neighbour's daughter and she found her husband with the babysiter. Even today I could count on one hand the people that are divorced in my family and close neighbours. But in Australia its a different story but I would say that only 30% of the people I know say kids that I went to school, people that I work with are divorced. My parents are together and have been maried for almost 35 years (in feb), my sister for 15 years (in 2 weeks), me and husband 6 years next friday. I dont know why this is so. Maybe people work harder to make it work or they dont have many issues I have no idea. My parents are not different then any other parents I dont know their secret.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi there violeta_va I think you are right when you say that some people don't works as hard as others at it and some give up on the marriage too easily. I think that maybe people fall out of love and want more in a relationship than what is on offer whereas some people are happy with what they have! Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
• Indonesia
7 Dec 08
we have to love each other before married,because it is a concept to keeping a married for a long time. loving with the truth build the truth in your married save love in your heart
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi asianclever and welcome to myLot Yes true love has got a lot to do with it. Thanks for your response
@myskina (182)
• China
7 Dec 08
it is already be a society phenomenon .... to us , sth that cannot avoid my parents is not so harmony , too .... that`s problem between them hope them become better `
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi myskina I hope so too! Thanks for your response
@ejohn82 (155)
• India
7 Dec 08
Hi Humbug, my parents have been married for 32 years and still going strong. God Bless them. But my parents have said that its never been easy for them. You know what they say, whenever they have an arguement(in private, never in front of me n brother), only one person speaks, the other person keeps quite(either one of them). You need to compromise on many issues, keeping too much of ego will only spoil a relation.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi ya ejohn82 I think you are right there, or rather your parents are! Thanks for responding
@gracie04 (4556)
• Philippines
7 Dec 08
My parents are still together and they have been married for almost thirty years.. actually, my mom had issues with my dad before but they tried to patch things up and it worked.. thanks to my ever patient mom who worked it all out.. she remained faithful to dad in spite of working overseas for twenty and so years..
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi ya gracie04 30 Years is a long time and it sounds like it hasn't been a walk in the park either! Good on them for working it out! Thanks for your response
@palonghorn (5490)
• United States
7 Dec 08
my parents just celebrated their 56th anniversary this past october. not sure what their secret is and it certainly didn't get passed on to me or my sister, lol. i have been married/divorced 3 times, my sister is on her third marriage, 8 years in january. my last marriage lasted 16 years. i am now living with a great guy, and neither of us are in a hurry to rush down that aisle again lol
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi ya palonghorn I know what you are saying. My dad is getting married for the third time in April, my eldest brother is on his third marriage, my other brother is on his second. My mum has never remarried and I am in the throws of a divorce with my first marriage. My kids are still young and I am in no rush to be with anyone let alone get married again! Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@lynnemg (4540)
• United States
7 Dec 08
My biological parents divorced when I was about 4 years old, but I was fortunate enough to end up having a DADDY who adopted me and my older brother. He has never called us anything but HIS KIDS. So, even though my biological parents divorced, my PARENTS are still together and have been happily married for 27 years now. My grandparents, all of them remained married to the one and only person that they ever married, no divorces there. I think that the secret to staying together in a marriage is to first take your vows seriously, and mean what you say. Stand by those vows, and do not run away when problems arise. Honesty, trust, and communication between spouses is very important, but along with that, tolerance of one another is also key. When people become more comfortable with their spouse, they relax a lot more. If you constantly nag and bicker about the little things, you are constantly nagging and bickering. That makes both people miserable. One thing I do, when I get really angry at my husband, I look at the pictures of us and our kids and think of all the wonderful things he does. Then, the anger melts away and I realize that disagreements are a normal part of marriage. I think that these days, too many people choose to run away and get a divorce because they feel it would be easier than sticking it out and working it out. Now, with that said, there are some circumstances that I feel are unforgivable, spousal abuse is at the very top of that list. But, many of the problems that lead to divorce are just realatively simple disagreements that get out of hand.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi there lynnemg I totally agree about what makes a marriage work but in my marriage I did all the talking and he did the ignoring along with the abuse! If it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out but I do think you are right that people these days do seem to give up on their marriage too easily! Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Dec 08
my parents divorced when i was 4 or 5, my father was very abusive and was a drunk so i dont blame my mom at all. i wonder what life would have been like if things would have been different, but i think things worked out for the best. my father is still a drunk and abusive so i choose not to have anything to do with him, but my mom has turned her life around. the man she is with is more of a father to me than my real father ever was, as far as i am concerned he is my father.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi there chantalgiardina That is a sad story that, thankfully, has a happy ending. There really is no point in being with an abuser just for the sake of the marriage! I know that from my own experience! Thanks for your response and I am glad everything turned out for the best!
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26881)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 08
This year, well back in March, my parents had their 38th Wedding Anniversary, 38 years they have been together, in this day and age this is a true miracle! I think mum deserves a gold carriage clock, a 22 carat gold clock, although she needs a medal for putting up with father for so long! You get less for life LOL! As for their secret? Well if I knew that I would be a rich man indeed! I guess I am lucky, although mum sure deserves better.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi wolfie34 34 Years is a fair amount of time eh? Well there must be a good reason why she is still with your dad! She can't say that it is because of the kids now could she? LOL Thanks wolfie
1 person likes this
@rkotaker (60)
6 Dec 08
I think the problem with most marriages that people dont communicate when problems come along and then start to go in different directions until they pull apart. The hard part of marriage is making it work when there are problems. For richer and poorer for better or for worse....
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
6 Dec 08
Hi ya rkotaker!!!!!!!! Yes communication has got a lot to answer for! Thank you, my friend, for your response
@Unah08 (671)
• Philippines
6 Dec 08
My parents are no longer together, not that they are divorced or separated but because my mom already passed away two years ago. But if she's still here I'm sure they're still be in each others arm and happily enjoying each others company. I kinda look up to their relationship actually, its really amazing how they do it I guess their secret is based on love, trust, understanding, compromise, open communication, and honesty. I love them both so much. My dad is really trying to be strong for us, but we can feel his sadness, he's now busying himself with his grandchild, the son of my brother is the source of his happiness lately.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
6 Dec 08
Hi Unah08 I am sorry to hear that your mother has passed away. It is good to hear that you father has a family around him to help him overcome his grief. Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@lilcee (2704)
• United States
6 Dec 08
My parents are both gone now but they were married 60 years. I can honestly say I never saw them fight. If they did they didn't do in front of us kids because we never saw them. My Dad was very loving towards my Mom and her to him. They had a very special bond. Had 9 children and over 30 grandchildren and now there are several great-grand-children. I hope I get to see my 60ths anniversary. I remember when we had a party for them. They were so cute. They fed each other cake like they had just gotten married. I couldn't ask for better parents. They were great role models for all of us kids. I think the secret to having a good marriage is communication and trust. Also to have a sense of humor and to share with each other. I've been married for almost 39 years and hope I live long enough to make it 60.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
6 Dec 08
Hi there lilcee Wow 60 years that certainly is an achievement! It is a lovely story about them I really enjoyed reading about them and I do hope you make it to your 60th too. Thanks for your response
1 person likes this
@ronaldinu (12454)
• Malta
6 Dec 08
My parent's are still together. WE don't have divorce here. So they had to stick to each other :) I guess they had passed through a rough patch but everyone does. I guess they were ready to forgive each other and make the marriage work despite difficulties and personal sacrifices.
2 people like this
@Humbug25 (12552)
6 Dec 08
Hi ronaldinu Sure I think all marriages go through difficult patches and I think you should be there for each other to get through it. Thanks ronaldinu
@cortney09 (1348)
• United States
8 Dec 08
My parents divorced when I was two years old. I was adopted when I was eleven months old, so they divorced pretty soon after that. My adoptive father (he's who I call dad) has been married and divorced three times and my adoptive mother has been married twice and divorced once. My husband's parents have been together for 20 some years, but other than that you're right I don't know many people's parents who are still together.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12552)
8 Dec 08
Hi ya cortney09 Wow that sounds pretty mixed up for you growing up! Thanks for your response
@cortney09 (1348)
• United States
17 Dec 08
Yea it was, but it could have been so much worse.
• India
7 Dec 08
The ultimate power which keeps two people together is love marrage is just for community or society sake i never turst in marrage because there are many situations which lead to marrage but its not like love
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi there saichandtalluri Sometimes even love isn't enough! Thanks for your response
• India
7 Dec 08
Marriage is not a thing you should rush into. It is a well thought out decision and ocne taken, one should try it stick it out. There will be difficulties. There will be a lot of adjustment to make, but that is what marriage is all about. In India divorce is an exception rather than the rule. 90% marriages last out a life time. it is just a few which break up and result in divorce. I have been married for 27 years and I hope to celebrate my golden jubilee too some day. since you have seen th trauma of having sen your father leave, i hope you will try and make yor marriage last when yo get married. God Bless you.
1 person likes this
@Humbug25 (12552)
7 Dec 08
Hi there mercuryman3a I was married, well still am technically but fled with my children to a safe home, but I do agree with you that marriage is a decision not to be taken lightly. I was in love with him at the time and thought that love as all I needed, clearly not. Thanks for your response