Would you look at a person and judge him or her?

@Masmasika (1922)
Philippines
December 7, 2008 6:28pm CST
Sometimes, there are people who are what they look. I sometimes look at a person and know what kind of attitude he or she has. But sometimes it isn't fair to just look at a person and judge him or her. You must try to go with a person several times, talk to her or him, join activities with that person before knowing who that person is. There are some people who look like they are unapproachable but who turns out be be very considerate and helpful and there are also people who look very humble but they turn out to be snob and inconsiderate. As the saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover. It is unfair to just look at a person and judge him or her in the negative side. Always give a person some good credits.
5 people like this
17 responses
• India
8 Dec 08
It is not just the looks but the body language that determines your impression of the person. i often believe that first impression is the last impression. First impression is not formed just by looks. It is the over all impression. The way they shake hands, the way they meet you, the say they talk, their expressions and body language. It is a combination of all these factors which determines your reaction. If you do not like a person in the first meeting, it is very unlikely that you will like that person in future meetings too.
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6342)
• Australia
8 Dec 08
I agree. You can pick up all this stuff in a very short time and if you are a good judge of character you are rarely wrong. I find this all the time. It is a huge combination of factors that you pick up all at the same time often without even being aware of it.
@Polly289 (269)
• New Zealand
8 Dec 08
Far be it for me to judge anyone. I am the least perfect person there ever was so try not to judge someone until I know them. I do like to watch people and wonder at what they might be like underneath. What they might be thinking etc. You don't necessarily have to give a person credit (good or bad) until you know them.
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
8 Dec 08
I do make that mistake sometimes. I am sure people make that mistake about me. I am very nice and outgoing. I am fun to be around. I am caring and friendly. There is a lot of things about me that no one can read by looking at me.
1 person likes this
@Wyldrose (1216)
• United States
8 Dec 08
I cannot stand a judgemental person. Like you said, you can't judge a book by it's cover. I like giving people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe I am too lax with people but I have been around these type of people most of my life and do not want to be like them.
@munhozmib (3853)
• Sao Paulo, Brazil
8 Dec 08
Hello, Masmasika. Everybody does judge somebody by the look. It is an unconscious thing, when you see a beggar in the street and you try not to pass near him because you know he will ask for something. Who said he is going to ask for something? Nobody. You are judging him. When there is that strange guy behind you, and you start trying to walk faster because you think he is going to rob you. Sometimes, the guy is not even a thief. But there you go, judging somebody for their face. We all judge sometimes, even when we not want to. But sometimes you can choose whether you are going to judge or not. And, when the decision is mine, I do not judge others. Respectfully, Munhozmib.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
Yes, that's true... that is not fair.. What if the other person do the same with you? what would you feel then? Sometimes we need to get to know the person first before judging them....
1 person likes this
@sharra1 (6342)
• Australia
8 Dec 08
Well I never judge a person solely on looks but I can tell when I meet them if there is a connection or not. This is not judging on looks but on other signals that you pick up. I call it aura. When I was dating I would pick this up all the time and then have to sit through the meal knowing that there is not connection.
1 person likes this
• Australia
8 Dec 08
I do this, and you know what? I have only ever been wrong once each way. One of the Jungian writers suggests that we immediately pick up on other people's archetypes, and if they are antagonistic to ours, we don't like them. It's like looking at our own "shadow", or dark part of our "soul". Lash
1 person likes this
@eynjel05 (444)
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
You said it right. It's like what the golden rule says:"Don't do unto others what you don't want others do unto you."It is not right to judge someone because of their looks. We need to know someone very well before making the conclusion about that someone. I just remembered two years ago, theres this woman that sit beside me on the bus. The woman has a burn on the half of his face that made her so ugly. I never thought of bad qualities towards her on that time as a matter of fact I felt pity on her because everytime that theres new passengers rinding the bus they were all staring to her that you can feel that they were very much annoyed on the presence of the woman. Just to gave her a feeling that I am not one of those people, I smiled to her when she look at me. After an hour of traveling, I get off the bus. I am supposed to go on my dad's office. After that, I went to the mall first on my way to the mall, I saw a big crowd of children I know that they were a street children because of their looks.I am so curios to see what's happening so I did went there more closer. I saw that there is a woman that is giving foods to those street children. ANd I am surprised that the woman on the bus that is sitting beside me is the same woman that is giving food to those children. I just smiled to her when she saw me. That was indeed an unforgettable experienced I had. Happy posting!
@Masmasika (1922)
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
That was a very interesting experience you have. The most important qualities in people are there inner qualities and not their physical appearance. I admire that woman.
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
9 Dec 08
After reading your post I just had to comment on it. It is my personal opinion that no one comes into our life by accident. I believe the people that we meet, our friends family and acquaintances all appear in our lives at the exact moment that we need them. I don't believe there are indeed coincidences, I believe that everyone who passes through our lives does so because they have something to teach me or they have something to learn. So, keep your eyes open! You just never know what package the next life lesson will be wrapped in.
• China
9 Dec 08
Yes, i quite agree with you, all of us shouldn't judge a person rashly.sometimes one person wears in bad,but he may be wealthy;sometimes one person looks like a farmer who didn't have good education, but he may be a scholar.So when we want to judge a person, we must go with him several times.
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
9 Dec 08
OK, if we call a spade a spade. The reality is that every single one of us instantly comes to an opinion about every new person we meet. This does not mean that we're judgmental or prejudiced in any way. It is the way our brains are hard wired to perform. Our brains are designed to take an enormous amount of information in at one time and process it almost simultaneously into categories that will be used later to recall memory. This is simple brain function, not hate or prejudice. Where prejudice comes in is in our interaction with the stranger. If we're closed-minded and not open to learning from others or dismiss them and their ideas outright before evaluating their ideas. That is prejudice! As an example, a few years ago, I was with a group of acquaintances. All of us had different backgrounds, social status, money and jobs. One of the most valuable lessons I ever learned happened one day when two strangers in walked into a room. They were absolutely horrific looking. They were dirty, had torn clothing and had a very colourful vocabulary. Honestly, you would cross to the other side of the street if you saw this couple approaching. Then I opened my ears and started listening. I learned so much from those two people, whom, I do not even know their names. That was the first and only time I spoke to them. They had so much wisdom and experience that I needed to learn from. That was when I decided that everyone comes into my life for a reason, either because I have something to learn or I have something to offer. So, pre judging isn't harmful as long as you are able to get past that first impression and keep an open mind and keep a willingness to learn. That's just my opinion.
• Canada
8 Dec 08
I would call most people in here liars if they said they did not judge based on looks. everyone judges based on looks to a "certain extent". some alot more than others. It does not have to be a bad thing. It's human nature and is unavoidable. our brains/mind are just wired a certain way. and we cant help it. The real tricky part is to take that immediate thought or notion that you get and what you do with it.
@xavier_sh (222)
• Nepal
8 Dec 08
We cannot judge a person from his outlook unless we deal with him several times, talk to him, understandinmg his attitude, watching his behaviour and other various thigs. We sometimes cannot judge a person though we know him fro a long time then how could we be able to judge a person at his first look or out look isn't it??
@sumiirajj (1983)
• India
8 Dec 08
Hi friend,It is very difficult to judge a person from their appearance.Even whom we think our near and dear ones ,have a change in their attitude sometimes.So how can we judge a person from the personal appearance.Our relatives are very affectionate sometimes and when problem arises we cant even judge them how they behave.They turn topsy turvey leaving us in utter shock and surprise with their sudden change and behaviour.So we can never judge a person from their looks and appearance. Thanks for sharing.happy mylotting.
@Porcospino (18396)
• Denmark
8 Dec 08
It has happened to me lots of times that I have been too quick to judge. Most of the times I have been too negative and my judgement has been unfair. Somestimes I meet people and I get the inpression that they are unfriendly when infact they are just shy. The strange thing is I am shy myself, so I ought to know better, but it still happens. The opposite situation also happens, and sometimes a person turns out to be less friendly than I thought he was, but unfair, negative judgements are a lot more common.
@legend4u (1019)
• India
8 Dec 08
no i am not a good judge er. i always make mistake, i have the tendency to believe everyone and it have pushed me in to trouble many times as frequently as it could. still i make the same mistake. now i have decided that with by harsh experiences i should first talk and try to get the character first before jumping in to conclusion.
@donsky14 (5963)
• Philippines
8 Dec 08
Yeah...that's true, never ever judge a book by its cover. Because you would never really know a person by just looking at his/her physical outlook.