Does your sister call you?

@onlydia (2808)
United States
December 7, 2008 11:23pm CST
My sister doesn't call unless she wants something. After I told her no everytime she has called now she don't call me. I call her to see if she is ok. But then I play the waiting game. When is she going to call? Well, she call me yesterday. As planned it was for something not to see if I'm doing OK not to see if I still have my Job. She wanted to know if I could bring her out sugar and peanut butter so she could bake cookies. Not for Christmas for some school thing that her nefew goes to. Not my nefew her's and her Husbands. What would you do? Just keep calling to see how they are doing or just forget then? Please help me out here and I really don't want to hear that it is Chritmas after all. As she does this to me all the time. Have a good day. Thank you. Onlydia
1 person likes this
13 responses
• Canada
8 Dec 08
honestly you should sit her down and tell her how you feel. i have that exact same relationship with my mother unfortunately. she has a gambling problem, gets along way better with my sister so the only time she picks up the phone or shows up at my house is to ask for money. last year when i was 6 months pregnant, me and my boyfriend split up. i was devastated. my mom showed up i thought to be there for me, only to find out she had spent her paycheck and needed to borrow money. i had had it! i sat her down, cried my eyes out and told her that in that whole situation SHE was the one making me miserable. family is supposed to be there for you always. im guilty for not always calling my sister, but when we talk we actually talk about our lives, its not just to ask for something. i told my mom how her only asking for things really made me feel inadequate, and sad, and like i was a stranger to her and not a daughter. she was really hurt and stunned because she didnt even realize she was doing it. she said she was so used to talking with my sister becausae my sister was the baby of the family and always seemed to need my mom and i was so independent. i explained to her that i was that way because i had no choice... since then we have had a much better relationships. we stil dont talk as much as her and my sister do, but i doubt we ever will. but we do talk about our lives, we call eachother, and help eachother..its not just selfishness anymore. i highly suggest talking to her, she might just really not know how she is making you feel. the older we get, the harder it is, we get our own lives and forget that we grew up so close to our family. I'm sure if you talk to her things will at least get a tiny bit better.
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
8 Dec 08
WOW I'm glad it worked out for you. I have done that and she cried and made it all about her and how she just didn't see what she was doing as she has so many problems. Ok I fell for that the first time I even let her move in to my house with her husband and her nefew and then they stopped paying rent and helping out as she said she had to take care of these old bills. I said well, for two months that will be OK. She said that was all she needed. Yeah was something else. Here daughter kicked her out of my house when I was up at my Mom's for the weekend. So now we are back to can you give me and please. Still working on it. Thank you I mite give it a try again. Have a nice day. onlydia
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
9 Dec 08
"i highly suggest talking to her, she might just really not know how she is making you feel. the older we get, the harder it is, we get our own lives and forget that we grew up so close to our family. I'm sure if you talk to her things will at least get a tiny bit better. " I do not agree with this statement and I think as adults we all know what we do [though at times we do get into unintentional hurting each other-but if this is repetitive then it cannot be excused as 'she might just really not know how she is making you feel.'
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• Canada
9 Dec 08
i never said it was an excuse..i also didnt realize she had already talked to her. I just meant that she might be thinkign too much about what SHE needs that she probably isnt thinking too much about how she is making her sister feel. maybe she DOES know, i just think nothing will get accomplished unless you flat out tell your sister. im sorry to hear that you tried that and nothing has worked, im not sure what else to say. i had told my mom in the past never to call me if it was only about her needing something, once i even hung up on her when i heard the words "i need a favor...." lol but im not saying that will work out either:P i hope you guys work it out in the future!
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• Poland
8 Dec 08
I have the same problem. And you know what. There is nothing I can do about that. She is an adult woman and she is not going to change suddenly, so the best thing I can do is stop worrying and being angry about that. When she wants something I can help her with, I help her. If it"s too difficult or cost me too muche, I don't. Without regret.
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Hey I like that. I always get mad and I alway's feel bad when I tell her no and she is good at making me feel bad. But you know I'm getting where your at. Thank you have a great day. Onlydia
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• Poland
9 Dec 08
And you know what. When I have got over emotions I started to see clearly if she is in real need or just tray to pull my strings. Great day 2you2.
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@Saizster (21)
• United States
8 Dec 08
I Understand that situation. Cuz im the sister that only calls for something in my family. Me and my family is close, but i just dont feeel the need to talk. keep callin her. amd tell her yu feel yall are losing touch. that she needs to call to talk. at least act concerned. or what yu could do is what my family does, tell them they wont send me anything or care for my birthday or anything. unless i keep in touch
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@busyB4 (875)
• United States
9 Dec 08
I have a sister who doesn't call unless it is an issue she thinks I need to know about with my parents or something. We just don't have alot in common, never have had, sad to say. I have tried and tried but I have just had to accept that is how she is. We are just very different.
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Well, you know for me it is I have helped her over and over again in the last 16 years if I wasn't taking her kids it was giving her money or food or paying her bills when I stopped taking the kids. I would only pay a little. She always said I will pay you back. Nope but you know I now have learned. Yes it hurts and yes there are times I miss her but not that bad. Have a great day. Onlydia
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Dec 08
hi onlydia i would just keep calling and seeing how they are doing as i have a couple of sister and one does the same to me and i just say im sorry i cant help you out but i still call to see how they are doing your friend bigman
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Yeah I know what you mean. I should call her. But she still hasn't called me back as of yet. And I did call her she told me will call you right back.Your friend onlydia
@rjbass (1424)
• United States
9 Dec 08
I have a sister though we don't call each other that often, during holidays, birthdays, etc. It's not that we don't get along, it's just that we have separate lives and live close enough where we can visit on occasion.
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
10 Dec 08
Mine is 11 miles away as I said and she never comes over just for lunch or to chat. She doesn't call to chat. Just a call to ask for things or for rides if there van don't work. So now we are at a stand still. Thank you and have a great Holiday. Onlydia
1 person likes this
• China
9 Dec 08
My sisters also don't call me very often, but when they calls, they are not only for something. They also call to see if I am OK. For me too. I call them not very frequently, but also regard them when call. We live far from each other, so there are not so many things for us to contact. Most of the calls are for regards.
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
10 Dec 08
Mine only lives 11 miles away from me and never comes over I always have to go there. So I'm done and if she wants to talk about our life then that wil work. Not give me. Have a wonderful Holiday. onlydia
1 person likes this
@kalav56 (11497)
• India
9 Dec 08
I feel that there is not reciprocity in your relationship and hte expectation on her part that you should be there for her is greater than anything else.Anything ought to be mutual. She does not feel like calling for casual friendly enquiries and chats .Then leave it.Even if you try talking to her, she will only say how churlish adn silly you are.So, forget it and just get resigned to the fact that you are not able to see eye to eye with each other and being away and silent would get things on an even footing some day.If it is Christmas for you then it is the same for her too. Cheer up!Relationships based only on needs would not sustain .
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
10 Dec 08
Yes it is Christmas and I'm staying home this year. I went to house last year and it was all about look what I got. I just want Christmas not look what I got buy me this that. So I'm staying home with my son and my roommate this year. Have a nice day
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• Indonesia
9 Dec 08
for me that sucks Onlydia..coz shes being unfair to u, shes like using u for her needs only, instead of taking good care of u as her sister..but if u really love her, tell her how u feel so she'll understand n can change her bad habit, maybe after that she will care bout u n call u not only when she needs something from u Onlydia.. im the youngest of 4 sisters..n i have a very close relationship with all of them, we love each other n call for one n another not only when we need sth, but just to know how their sons are or maybe we wanna go out for shopping together or else..but it not happens just like that Onlydia, we need to approach each other n learn to be more closer as a siblings..so, dont give up on her, try to talk with her first, if shes change its a good thing..but if shes not, then just do wat u thing its right to do.. take care Onlydia
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
10 Dec 08
Why thank you very much and I'm working on that. I have told her fell on deff. ears. well,one day maybe never give up hope. Have a great day. I'm happy for you and your sisters.
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@o_utsider (372)
• China
9 Dec 08
Maybe my sister like your sister.She less call me unless she wants something I can do for her.Now she is far away from me,I almost forget her.I don't care how she and I.
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Thank you for your response and I know how you feel. But one day they will come around I hoping. Have a great day. Onlydia
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@Polly289 (269)
• New Zealand
8 Dec 08
Yes, my sisters do call. We have great love and respect for each other. I feel sorry for you because you obviously love her or you wouldn't feel this way. Just take her the sugar or whatever and talk to her face to face if you live near enough. Try to get that bond thing going. Keep at it it's worth it. Life isn't worth living if you don't have a family. Don't give up, she'll come back to you. All the best and Merry Xmas to you
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
9 Dec 08
Well, I'm not taking her the sugar. There is no way I will now. I mite get laid off and I called to to talk and she had other things that she wanted. Like can you buy my sugar can you drive out her and take me to the church and to the school and the store. What I'm trying to tell you my roommate got laid-off and I have no money and I can't even pay my bills and I can't afford the gas. I say all that and she say's Oh what did you say? I'm sorry I'm watching this show. The min. I tell her no. She doesn't here me. Yes I'm going to have a great Christmas as a matter of fact. I have a Ham and a turkey that I got on sale before I found out I mite not have a job. But it was a good sale.Mine mite figure out what I told heer in about a month. Oh yes right before her birthday. Have a great day. Onlydia
1 person likes this
• United States
8 Dec 08
i guess im lucky because me and my sister talk all the time about everything. we do call each other if we need something, but also to just say hey. i would talk to her and tell her. one thing about family is that you are supposed to able to talk to them about anything and work it out because you are family. thats not fair for her to take advantage of you like that.
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Thank you I think so also. She does the samething with her daughter I found out. Her daughter got her however she moved in and didn't pay rent. I would try that if I lost my house but I was homeless once and she told me no. So yes she is a user of people and what she can get for her. I'm glad your sister and you get along as it is a good thng. I do keep trying about every 6 months. BUt you know I'm getting sick of it all. Have a wonderful Holiday by the way and a great day. Onlydia
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@jillhill (37383)
• United States
8 Dec 08
My one sister calls on a regular basis.....the other doesn't....but I am not a good one to call back either as I don't really like talking on the phone....and when I do talk on the phone it's usually to my kids....So yes....one of my sisters calls once a week....the other doesn't....but like I said...I am not a good caller either!
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
8 Dec 08
Thank you and you know I'm starting to feel better on how she only call's as she wants something. But then that is the way she always was and still is. Maybe she will grow up at 50 and get a job. One can only pray. Your friend onlydia
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• United States
9 Dec 08
nope i got one sister that is 1 but she cant talk so haha
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