Forgive and forget or otherwise?
December 10, 2008 5:00am CST
I am not an unforgiving person. I may become angry over what is said or done (even that can be considered as rare). The reason is because I try to put my feet in the other person's shoes and try to see things from his/her perspective. Forgetting something bad said or done is not easy for me. I am no vindictive. Usually there are things or events which remind me of what had happened. Occasionally when the same person became too much I reminded him/her of what he/she did in the past. The intention was to remind the person not to repeat the same mistakes. Instead of being grateful I was accused as a person who keeps a grudge, a person who dwells in the past. Can you find it easy to forgive? Can you easily forget whatever has happened? Do you take time to forgive or rarely forgive other people? Do you keep the memory burning in your mind? Do you know anyone fitting any of the questions? Or do you have anything else to add? rosdimy
10 Dec 08
i guess i can call my self a forgiving person.... i am angry for the moment.... whent he topic is all heated up thats when the arguments happen and thats when sometimes my fists go flying if it gets too hot to handle.... but normally after the fight is over and you have a chance to sit down with a cool head and think of all that happened and why it happened i dont really bother as to who's mistake it was and who started it and stuff like that !! i just get up and leave the situation and forget about it...though i may sometimes take a little longer to forgive in certain cases.... but there have been times when i have not forgiven nor forgotten...because such people if forgiven will commit the same mistake over and over again without realising that they are probably making the same mistake or actually keep doing it over and over again purposely too....!!
10 Dec 08
I am of the opinion that a person can be forgiven but the bad deeds done not forgotten. The person can be reminded if he/she is repeating the same mistake. There are people who turn for the worse because they were not forgiven. I am making this statement because I have friends who are like that. With people who repeat the same thing on purpose can be reminded that they have been forgiven for the previous transgression and a repeated action only hurts us deeper. Thank you for your response. All the best, rosdimy
11 Dec 08
but there are also some people like the one i know who never agrees to the fact that he has done something wrong.... he thinks he is always right but the world doesnt..... he hurts and he realises but it doesnt matter to him cos according to him is always right..... these kind of people should or could be forgiven but yeah their deeds can never be forgotten
15 Dec 08
Otherwise you will never be able to move on .Forgiveness is the key to closure .Lets face we are imperfect and as such we will do things that will hurt other and others will hurt us as well. The key though is how we deal with being hurt and hurting others. Forgiveness is the key to both situations, we whether expect to be forgiven when we hurt other or we expect to be forgiven. Now the issue is can we forgive and forget or forgive but not forget. I believe the imperfection issue rules out the ability to forget anything that is done to us especially when it painful and done to us by someone we hold very dear to our hearts. What I believe is a more practical approach is to forgive but not forget, however not forgetting does not mean that we bring up the issue at every opportunity that we get .It means that we resist this urge and try to view every situation as unique even when it’s a situation involving the same person who hurts us before. I think that an important part of not forgetting is learning to trust person’s moral compass to not making the same mistakes again In the absence of this trusting and forgiveness we will never be able to truly live our lives after any painful incident. In addition,we will always be living in the past and never be able to appreciate new situations and new pleasures.
16 Dec 08
It is human nature to forget because we are generally too lazy or too busy to exercise our brains. Only events which have a great impact would remain fresh in our minds. By remembering the past we can improve ourselves by not doing the same mistakes. There have been cases where people were made to remember the past in order to move on. Living in the past and remembering the past are not quite the same thing. Thank you for your response. all the best, rosdimy