Different beliefs

@Anne18 (11036)
December 11, 2008 3:35pm CST
What happens at christmas time if you are in a realtionship or even married to someone whose beliefs believe that they don't celebrate christmas and your beliefs believe that you do believe in celebrate christmas. And what happens if there are children in the relatiionship, how do you go about expalining to them that you don't do christmas while school is getting all excited about christmas? Does this make any sense??? Hope so.
6 people like this
21 responses
@katsmeow1213 (29044)
• United States
11 Dec 08
Luckily my husband and I share the same views on religion and holidays. I don't think I could marry someone or have children with someone who had different views than I did. It would make things too complicated.
1 person likes this
@Anne18 (11036)
11 Dec 08
we don't have a religion in our house but we were both brought up in Church of England households, both christened, although we never got the children christened, but we do respect religion and will support the children in what ever religion they choose and will go to church with thme if they so wish, but we will honest with them and tell them that we are going with them to support them and we will never change our beliefs. I do find different religions very intersting and do like learning about them and I do think there are some very lovely bible stories, even those that don't even have a moral at the end.
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21667)
• Canada
12 Dec 08
Hi anne, I know a couple of families like this but only one has a child. As far as I know there is no problem with the child who is now 5 years old. They have a celebration at new years and exchange gifts. Blessings.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39918)
• Canada
11 Dec 08
every family does things differently, I am christian my boyfriend is jewish, he buys a gift for me and comes to the celebration for me, because he loves me.
1 person likes this
@suzzy3 (8357)
11 Dec 08
I honestly think you should have found this out before you married or had a baby with your partner,I suppose if someone converts during the relationship it must be very upsetting,it would be enough to split you up.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Dec 08
It can work. My brother's girlfriend is Jewish and Catholic, he mom is Jewish and her dad is Catholic, and she was raised with both religions. Her parents made it work and she did not get confused. As my brother and I were growing up, we celebrated just about every holiday on the planet. We did not care, we just loved celebrating holidays. This year, since I have some Canadian friends and since I would love to get dual citizenship (I want to be a Canadian and a US citizen), I am going to celebrate Boxing Day this year. I have never really done it before, and I figure, if I want to be closer to my dad's family and his people (my dad is Canadian), then I will celebrate this holiday. Beliefs or no beliefs, the holidays are all about fun and giving, that is what we all forget, be it Christian, Jew, Buddhist, Hindi, Muslim, or any other religion, you can celebrate. I am Agnostic, and I still celebrate Christmas. Why? Because I want to, and what is wrong with me celebrating, nothing. I love giving gifts to people and I love the lights. The lights are nice to look at. Everyone needs fun and something to look forward to in life, the holidays are around so that we have something to celebrate and something to look forward to. I might even celebrate Hanukkah and Kwanzaa this year just because I want to experience other cultures. Honestly, I think that we should all experience other cultures and religious experiences at least once.
• United States
12 Dec 08
Religion is not like race. You can't be half and half. You can't believe Jesus is God and not believe he is God.
@Sreekala (23738)
• India
24 Dec 08
Hi Anne, I am not in such a situation but I know many couples like that. There is no problem in between them and mostly the wives are showing much broadminded attitude and celebrating both festivals. But some cases 'men' are not showing that much interest to participate the celebrations but just adjusting. If both should be able to cooperate then there is no issue of hurting. Otherwise the kids should face the consequences.
@4mymak (1796)
• Malaysia
19 Dec 08
hi anne, i think children should be exposed, or taught that they are many different religion and beliefs.. and that not everyone celebrate christmas.. but they may be celebrating other festivities.. but if the parents are of different beliefs.. shouldnt the children be able to enjoy all the different celebrations ??..
@Humbug25 (12551)
14 Dec 08
Hi ya Anne18 Well my husband was of a totally different religion to me and so I sort of scooted over to his side so we never celebrated Christmas and the kids seemed to accept it. Since I fled 2 years ago I have been making the most of the festive season with my kids and they are loving it as I have obviously gone back to what I know best - Christianity! My eldest was only 5 when we left so it hasn't made a huge amount of difference really. My family still sent gifts for them and I also would send gifts for my family but my husband did disapprove but you can't not give gifts to people just because you 'don't do Christmas'.
@riyasam (16578)
• India
13 Dec 08
oh,there would sure be a tug but most probably ,i will have to adjust and then my partner will also have to compromise to let the children enjoy a little.happy mylotting.
@camomom (7536)
• United States
13 Dec 08
Makes sense to me. I know a family where one parent is Catholic and the other is Jewish. They have 2 children, they celebrate both religious holidays and are letting the children decide what they believe on their own.
@krfanlim (232)
• Malaysia
12 Dec 08
In my personal opinion, i think christmas has turned into... a season more geared towards all people, as in, a festive season that is kinda celebrated by all, despite the story and origins of christmas still stems out from a particular religion. So yeah, we all do go excited about it, and celebrate it all together.
@Galena (9123)
12 Dec 08
I've known plenty of couples who celebrate festivals from both religions, and bring their children up doing the same, so that they see both sides of their heritage. it seems very much the best way. Children are quite capable of understanding that Mummy and Daddy believe in different things. it's just like them having different favourite bands or colours. and it's nice for them to get to share in both.
@exodamus (1629)
• India
12 Dec 08
Hi,there should not be any confusion on this.each person should respect others feelings. so what if you dont celeberate. You can always take part as a visitor. you need feel emberrased or anything like that. Each festival can be celeberated because it is a festival and celebrating festivals are fun
@kun2349 (23475)
• Singapore
12 Dec 08
haha.. It's all about respect for each other and complementing each other.. Christmas can be spend in many other ways, and it need not be the usual standard routine.. Instead, oen can choose to travel, and i believe, nobody will reject the idea of travelling.. Just take it as an family outing on christmas, remembering the day, and the reason.. haha But when one has kids, it's easier, just hold a home party or they might have frenz whom have parties at home, so just let them join the party and one will be freed from celebrating christmas.. haha
@dehong (152)
• China
12 Dec 08
if at christmas time i am getting married.that's good thing.i will celebrate both chritmas and my wedding.
• India
12 Dec 08
Hmmm...In a multicultural, multi religious set up, this shouldn't be a problem. You can just tell the kids that people think differently. ;) Cheers and happy mylotting
@jzqt27 (541)
• Canada
12 Dec 08
it reay depend on the person and i think they should share their thoughts.
@hoong143 (1408)
• Malaysia
12 Dec 08
I think it's fine as long as we don't force each other to follow our beliefs. If my wife is celebrating Christmas, but I don't believe in that but not against it, I can still celebrate it together with her. As for the kids, I'll tell them both of our beliefs, and it's up to them to choose what they want to believe when they grow older.
• United States
12 Dec 08
The school thing happens to anyone who doesn't celebrate Christmas, not just people who have parents that are different religions. I think in order for a marriage to work with two people that have two different religions, at least one of them has to not really be into their own religion. I don't see how someone who is really religious could marry someone who is completely against what you believe in.
@Opal26 (17690)
• United States
12 Dec 08
Hey anne! I was brought up totally confused all together! My family was Jewish. We celebrated Chanukah and Christmas! I got presents on both holidays. We lit the candles for Chanukah but I couldn't have a Christmas tree. My Father was more religious then my Mother. Anyway, I grew up all confused since we really didn't do anything except on this one holiday. So anyway, when I moved into my own place I swore I would have a Christmas tree always because my Father whom I hated wouldn't let me have one! And I do and I did! I also decided to become a Christian. I now am still confused! The point is don't confuse the kids, explain it to them at least. Tell them that one of you celebrates and why and one doesn't. At least try to make it less confusing for them. At least explain the best way you know how.