Having Children in your 40's

@SueD823 (371)
United States
December 13, 2008 11:50am CST
My husband and I have been trying, without success to conceive a child for over 3 years. I obviously have old eggs, though I don't feel old, those suckers have been with me since conception, or shortly thereafter, so I suppose they are technically "old". Do you have an opinion about people in their 40's or even older conceiving or adopting children? Is there an age in which we should just stop? Do you think it is unfair for the child that may be, to be raised with "older" parents? I know that I have so much more to offer now than I did when I birthed my first 3...so much more knowledge and experience. I'd love to hear how you feel about it and if the general consensus feels that there should be a "cut-off" on child-bearing.
1 person likes this
2 responses
@ronaldinu (12440)
• Malta
29 Dec 08
I am 38 and my wife is nearly 40. We have said full stop for the baby factory up till now. We might regret it later but I do feel that when a woman is near 40 she should stop thinking about childbirth. There are health risks both for the mother and the child that one has to consider. However I have two aunts who bear children when they were both over 40 and my cousins are grown ups and healthy now.
1 person likes this
@SueD823 (371)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I understand your thoughts on this. As a mother, however, I would give my life for a child. And if my child was born with defects, then that is how God gave that child to me, or us, to love. Yes, I suppose I could have controlled it by NOT having a child. It's a "Catch 22". I am very pleased to say, that after 3.5 years, my husband is now ready to adopt!! I couldn't be happier! I will start a new post on this one...and how it came along. I surely want my friends input and thoughts. But I'm happier than a bug in a rug!
@ronaldinu (12440)
• Malta
30 Dec 08
I do admire you regarding adoption. It is not an easy subject to tackle but if both of you agree why not. If you are ready to open your hearts and your home for a new arrival than you are doing an honourable act, helping a child in need.
1 person likes this
@SueD823 (371)
• United States
31 Dec 08
Amazingly, my husband has come around, just this Christmas to adoption. I am looking into it now. Unfortunately, which I cannot believe, many agencies, though I want to have a private adoption, look at AGE! If you are over 40, you don't fall in the best category. I can't believe that! I would think that giving a child a home would be most important. We are in fairly good health, could be better, but definitely could be worse. That is why they say they want "younger" parents. So they are physically capable of keeping up with kids as they reach their teenage years. I just hope we can actually make this happen. Thanks Ron for the comment and for understanding and most importantly, your support!
@maximax8 (28559)
• United Kingdom
6 Feb 09
I think that if a lady of over 40 wants to have a baby then there is no harm in her trying to get pregnant. If she wants to adopt then up to just beyond age 45 should be fine. If a lady aged 50 wants to adopt it should be possible for her if she is still really healthy. I can see that you offer a lot and deserve to get pregnant or adopt a child. Good luck.
@SueD823 (371)
• United States
6 Feb 09
Thank you for your very kind response. We have just scratched the surface on adopting and can you believe that being over 40 is seen as too old? I can't believe they would rather judge a parent than put a child in a safe loving home.