My 20 Year Old Roommate Did The Unthinkable!!!

@Rozie37 (15503)
Turkmenistan
December 15, 2008 3:01am CST
And is acting as if it is no big deal. She started a class in Psychology in August of this year. She took a night class and attended only once a week, for about three hours on Tuesday, from about 7:00p.m. to 10p.m. I was so proud of her. Then this pass Tuesday was the day of the final exam. I had been feeling a little under the weather, so I had taken a late little nap. But when I woke up at 8:00p.m., guess who else was still asleep? I tried to remember what day it was and sure enough it was Tuesday. I called her name and asked her if she was supposed to be at school. She mumbled something that sounded like she had said, she had already been. So I left her alone. The next day, I asked her about it and she said that she was feeling nauseated and did not go. The first thing that I thought was that I had not heard an ambulance. I am thinking that if I am going to miss my final exam, I better be headed for the emergency room. I could not believe how she simply shrug it off. A friend and I were talking and I mentioned it and she said that maybe she did so well in the class that she did not really need to take the final exam. At first that did not make sense to me. Then I remember taking a Journalism class in college. I remembered that I did not do well on my final. I asked my teacher why I got a "B" and he said it was because I had done so well on other things. But I remember doing a lot of extra credit for the paper, because I enjoyed the class so much. But I was still shocked to get such a high mark in his class. What do you thing would cause someone to miss such an important thing? I really do not believe that she was so sick that she could not go in and take the test.
2 people like this
19 responses
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
16 Dec 08
She is sabotaging herself. Maybe on purpose. Maybe subconsciously. But if she passes, she will have some expectations to meet. Lots of people set themselves up for failure so that they don't have to go beyond their comfort zones.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
More than likely you are right. I was really looking forward to cheering for her. She put so much energy into getting there every week. I am just shocked that she would do this.
2 people like this
• Canada
16 Dec 08
I do this all the time to myself. If I try and still can't do it then it means I'm not good enough. But if I don't try then I can't fail. It means I'm okay.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
17 Dec 08
They say that nothing beats a failure, but a try. I on the other hand feel like I have failed if I do not get an "A."
1 person likes this
@mjweed21 (693)
• Philippines
16 Dec 08
Though you can't get the Final Exam it is still ok as long as you were doing great with your previous periods. The result of the Final Exam is just part on the grades to be computed. Maybe your roommate is just really great in her class that she's confident not to take the examination.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
You might be right, but if I were the smartest person in the world, I would not want to be that arrogant.
2 people like this
• Canada
16 Dec 08
My experience with post secondary education is that a final exam is worth 20-40 % of your final grade. This means that if you got 100% on everything else the highest you could get is 80%. Thats not really good if you want to go anywhere with the course. Most people don't get 100% on everything either.
1 person likes this
@winterose (39922)
• Canada
16 Dec 08
the only one that can answer that is your room mate only she would know why she would not go to such an important thing as an exam unless she knew she was going to fail the course anyway and didn't care anymore.
2 people like this
• Canada
16 Dec 08
That is a good point. One time I went to my final class and realized I hadn't done much work on the group project and thought I was going to fail. I went out for a smoke and never came back.
1 person likes this
@rsa101 (13336)
• Philippines
16 Dec 08
Well I guess she did have a bad day that day that she could not afford herself to go there and take her final exam. But anyway just ask her and maybe she could better answer you than us in here. I am pretty sure she has some expalining to do how come she behaved liked that.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
I asked her and she just shrugged and said she was feeling nauseated and she was going to talk to the teacher about making it up. The school is right across the street. But now she has up and moved to another city.
2 people like this
@Monkeyrose (2850)
• Canada
16 Dec 08
Maybe she was nervous and so did not go to the test. I often get nauseous when I am really nervous about something. It gets to the point sometimes where I get sick. If I'm hesitant to do something in the first place this makes me more likely to not do it. Also, people have different priorities. Just because its important to you doesn't mean its important to her. I've dropped out of many classes half way through in college for a variety of reasons. Often I suffer from depression and just find it too tough to go. anyways its really not that bad... lol I thought you were going to say she slept with your boyfriend or got drunk and ended up pregnant. If you really want to know.. talk to her.
@savak03 (6681)
• United States
15 Dec 08
Different people have different levels of tolerance when it comes to pain or feeling sick. If I was feeling nauseous I would not be able to go take a test. Just the fact that I felt bad would cause me to not do well on the exam. Also maybe she knew she could make the test up at another time. At any rate I don't think her actions were unthinkable.
• Brazil
15 Dec 08
I agree with you about different levels of tolerance for pain and illness. Also sometimes even having a big tolerance we get to our limit and simply can´t take it anymore.
• United States
16 Dec 08
very true.. i knwo myself that i have had big tests and didnt go into take them because i was sick but most the time i always try to be there
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
I look at it like this, if I have invested all of that, I am going to make it to my final exam or call 911. If I am well enough to avoid the emergency room, I am well enough to walk across the street and at least attempt to take the exam.
• United States
23 Dec 08
I think what is important to you is not important to her. I think she blew it and it does not matter to her.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
23 Dec 08
Well that is just very sad.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Dec 08
Rozie you are right to put so much work into a class not go to the final.
• Brazil
15 Dec 08
This semester I had a class of logic of programation and I started to study a lot and went very good on the first test. But with all the ups and downs my life passed I couldn´t study anymore and in the last exam I also didn´t go. I was feeling so frustrated and I knew I would fail that I simply prefered not to appear for the exam.
@busyB4 (875)
• United States
15 Dec 08
If I was feeling nauseated, I couldn't consentrate to do an exam. Also I have seen some stress out so over an exam they are not prepared for, it can actually make them sick. It sounds like you take your schooling very serious though so good for you! As for your roomate, I hope she is able to make up the test. If she loses any credit for not being there, it was her choice .
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
I would have at least tried. If I had to throw up, I would have made sure the teacher saw how sick I was. I was very proud of her for going. I knew that she was going through a lot, but she never missed a class. Then the last day, it seems like she just gave up, without even trying. I knew that I wasn't going to do good on my final exam, but I at least tried and I know that this is why the teacher gave me a "B." I always sat in the front of the class and participated and did my best. You can't just give up without even trying. I don't remember why I didn't do good on my finals. I just remember knowing that I did not know a lot of the answers. Maybe my roommate could not face the fact that she had not done well. However, I still would have tried, at least.
@rocketj1 (6960)
• United States
16 Dec 08
Hey there, new friend! Thanks for the best response!
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
23 Dec 08
You're welcome.
• Philippines
16 Dec 08
maybe she had been exempted on the final exams and didn't mention it to you so you would react that way. hehe. what if she's playing you. it's just a possibility
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
17 Dec 08
She shrugged and said that she would try to get the teacher to let her make it up. I wish she had that kind of sense of humor, she would have been a lot easier to live with. She is way too serious for me.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
16 Dec 08
there are some people for some the level is just awesome. and i guess what she did is awesome. May be for her, something was more important than test.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
17 Dec 08
Apparently so. I know that her older sister is a professional student, but she has many degrees under her belt and can work whenever she chooses. I am simply of the mind that you don't play around or take education lightly. There may come a time when you no longer have the opportunities that you once took for granted.
• India
16 Dec 08
Well sweety.....there could be a lot of reasons...She just might not be as responsible as you are...or may be she was really sick...We will never know for sure...Anyways take care!
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
17 Dec 08
There are a lot of things that she could take for nausea and go on to school. If it was all that bad, like I said, she could have gone to an emergency room. It is not that serious to me. But I was a psych major for a minute and like to try and figure out what motivates people to do what they do and why.
@ngty69 (974)
• India
16 Dec 08
First of all, I would surelly say that not giving an exam is not a very good thing. Eventhough you are good at class, but still you need to give exam. Because impression only work when you are sincere to what you do with your heart, instead of not showing up for them. This puts a wrong impression. Because teacher can only give you credits when you give exams. Eventhough you did not do well at the exam but atleast you came for it. And if you have good impression on your teachers then they can really help you pass the with some extra credits here and there. Your roomate really made a wrong decision. Hope to read your reply soon. Thanks Bye....
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
17 Dec 08
You are right, impressions are everything. The teacher could lower her grade, just for not showing up for the final exam. Even if she did do real good in the class.
@wheel416 (1019)
• Canada
15 Dec 08
Well, since I do not know your roommate I cannot tell you what motivated her to make the decision that she did. Perhaps, she was truly sick and made alternate arrangements with her professor. It seems to me that there are endless possibilities as to what prompted your friend to act the way she did it. What I am curious about however is why this bothers you so much. If he blew off the class and has now lost a credit for the course, those are the consequences of her decision. Perhaps she has changed her mind and now no longer wants to continue with psychology. In the end, you will never know why she's done what she did. If you are truly concerned about her, for example if you think she may be taking risks or be depressed in some way, talk to her and let her know that you're concerned about her. Otherwise, we can share our opinions and our thoughts with out friends but ultimately, we all have to make our own personal choices. As a side note, perhaps she has not completely blew off the course. As I was reading your question, I was reminded of a similar situation that I was in. I had a medical emergency and a couple of other things come up one semester during my studies, I was in the situation you mentioned above. Even after missing three weeks of tests and assignments, I was in a position to graduate from my program with distinction. For me it was important to graduate with distinction but my specific GPA was less important to me. So, as a result I chose to take zero on everything during the three weeks that I was away from school. Some of my friends were flabbergasted that I would choose this option. They could not understand why I would sacrifice up to as much as 10% of my final grade when I had already worked so hard. But for me personally, the number itself was not important. It was important to me that I had graduated with honors and that was enough for me. I have several friends who will agonize over a margin of 2 to 3%. Neither of us is is right or wrong in our approach to our grades we just value different things. So in the end, your friends over all percentage points may not be as important to her as they are to you. Also, she is the one who has to live with her decisions not you. With that being said, if you are just concerned about your friend, talk to her and let her know about your concerns perhaps she will open up to you. And if she chooses not to, maybe there's nothing wrong and maybe all you have to do is let it go at that. Good luck to you and Happy Mylotting!
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
You said a lot and I do not have time to read all of it. All I can say is that I take education very seriously and I was rooting for her. But I have talked to her about it and she acts as if it is no big deal. She has not worked anything out with her teacher, in fact, she has moved to another city now.
• United States
15 Dec 08
Wow, I am amazed at how concerned you are about this if you aren't good enough of friends to just ask her this yourself? Really, I think it would be more important to not worry about it if you aren't going to just ask her! There are a million reasons why she could do this, why would you sit around and judge her for not going? Who cares? It's her choice, not yours! She could be genuinely sick, deciding college is not right for her, confused about what major she wants to pursue, unable to afford the class, having family problems, etc. You need me to go on? She could really dislike her teacher, have already turned in all of the work and the teacher doesn't care about attendance, the teacher could be absent, the school could be under construction, the class could be canceled for lack of attendance, her dog ate her teacher...ok, maybe not that one! I'm not trying to yell at you, but really I think the question here should be why are you judging her, not why did she miss her class! If, however, you are not judging her for the sake of a conversation starter...and you really are concerned about her, just simply say to her that you are concerned she missed her class because in the past you realize how tough it is to make a class up, and you learned a lot of ways of coping with the stress. Ask her if she would like to hear your ideas, and that if there is anything she needs help with or wants to talk about you are willing to listen! If she says mind your own business, and gets mad at you for showing genuine concern just say you were only trying to help, but you respect her decision to not talk about it again and you will drop it! If she is paying rent she is 98% better than most of my roommates!
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
I did ask her and she said she felt nauseated. She is so smart that she has a scholarship that will pay $500.00 per semester for as long as she want to go. I love my roommate and have helped encourage her to keep going, this is why I am so disappointed that she did not even try to go.
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
15 Dec 08
I would never have done that! I couldn't imagine going through a class and just missing the final exam. What would have all the other work been worth if you were just going to do that?! I can't speak for your state, but in my county's local colleges, you do that and you either fail the whole course or you just make a bad grade. I'm too particular with grades and stuff to find that acceptable. It sounds like something my sister would do though. lol
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
That is the way I feel. If I good not make the test, I would have had a hospital wristband from the emergency room to show my teacher and beg her to let me make it up. You just don't do things like that when it comes to education.
• United States
15 Dec 08
Even if I didn't need to take the exam, I would have done it anyway. That way, I know I did everything possible to get the highest grade I could.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
Exactly, to me this is just weird. Now she has moved out, so I don't think she will get the opportunity to make things up later on. She may have to take the entire class over again. It just seems like such a waste.
@GAUCI123 (1042)
• Malta
15 Dec 08
It is a pity that she lost her last final exam, my husband sister made the same mistake. She had been studiying for about two years and made exams, and the last final exam, which if she passed it she will had the qualification of a staff nurse, she let it go away. She said that she was fed up of nursing and she didn't want to study any more. Now she is only a health assistant,she lover her job but she could have been more. I think that some decisions can effect your life especially related to education, since once stopped studying it is difficult to restart again.
@Rozie37 (15503)
• Turkmenistan
16 Dec 08
I can kind of understand about nursing. I mean, if I had went that far, I certainly would have finished, but nursing is easy burn-out. I went into that field because I love helping people. I remember doing my internship, I was constantly pump up. When I got home, I was exhausted, but it was a good tired. I gave 120% all the time. The problem with nursing is that your all is never enough. No matter how much you give, if you make one mistake, you might as well have messed up completely. I got to the point where I was having anxiety attacks at work. At one point, my patient got out of bed and came to check on me. At that point, I knew that I was no longer being affective and I quit shortly after that. I have much respect for those who can hang in there. But you at least have to try.
• Indonesia
16 Dec 08
I am sorry dear...my wife so angry listen this discussion...so please...don't angry.