HELP! I need your advice.

India
December 16, 2008 5:36am CST
I am already commited for the past year and a half (tch wood)to the most wonderful guy in the whole world. For the last few months I am friends with a guy in my new job. He is my colleague and any problem that I have I would discuss it with him. Yes Iam physically aware of my friend. But I know my limits. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. There are a few instances when we flirt..A few days back this friend of mine had to travel to another city on work and will not be back till new years day. No I really do not miss him...But these days the flirting part has increased on his side. He tells me to leave my boyfriend. Though I know he is joking, I feel really uncomfortable. I do not wanna do anything that will dissappoint my boyfriend. This friend I am talking about is a BIG TIME FLIRT and he does not bother to project any other image about himself. Sometimes he even messages that he misses me.....But I know VERY well that my boyfriend is my soulmate.... Ok I think I have blabbered a lot...If this is coherent enough to you...Please tell me what you feel. I also would request the experienced and the happily married girls to share their Views. As always I know Mylotters would help me on this:-)
2 people like this
8 responses
@GADHISUNU (2164)
• India
16 Dec 08
s-p, you have almost answered your Q. Your bf is the most "wonderful guy" in the whole world. You are in a long distance relationship. You have flirted a few times. But now this proximal but flirtatious colleague who wants to be more than flirting with you is egging you on[cleverly making it look like a "joke"]to dump your bf. For one thing, if you are feeling any thing like a division of mind it is only a game played on the mind by the mere proximity of this guy. My advise to you is not to give and ruin a perhaps weel considered and committed original relationship. You even call your bf to be your soulmate. From all this, all I can gather is that your originl bf is made for you. Keep this guy off, and go with your bf. You will not repent.
• India
16 Dec 08
Hey that was a wonderful reply. I am actually very good friends with that guy. Are you suggesting that I stop talking to him altogether?
@GADHISUNU (2164)
• India
17 Dec 08
Talk to him. But in clinical terms.
• India
17 Dec 08
okie:-)
@shonali (1286)
• India
17 Dec 08
you actually have it all pretty solved out for your self.... take a look at what you have written again... you yourself ahve told that you are not interested in the big time flirt guy but you already know and believe that your bf is your soulmate...then where is the confusion.... the big time flirt guy is just content with flirting and trust me guys find it a challenge to take a gal away from her bf she is in love with actually...its like a video game that they want to win.... but its all sorted out all the while in your head...just go upto this flirty friend of yours or rather send him a message and tell him to lay off and stop flirting as you dont think it is appropriate anymore..... this has happened with me before at my work place but i sternly cut him off while his flirting had gotten a little too obvious for me..... so its better now than later....
• India
17 Dec 08
Thanks for that...It is immensely helpful.:-)
• Philippines
17 Dec 08
Oh, just continue flirting and enjoy life. Who knows your boyfriend might be doing the same.
• India
17 Dec 08
LOL! :-):-).....wELLLLLLLLLL.....I wish I am as uncomplicated and carefree as you...But I am not...And my boy friend is a one woman guy...these days I am the one who encourages him to flirt if he wants....I mean light hearted flirting...thanks for writing in:-)
• Malaysia
16 Dec 08
if you are very confident that your relationship with your actual boyfriend is in very good standards or status then you should never give in to temptations i guess you know that i have been lovers with my husband for 14 years before getting married .. the reson was 1 and only 1 .. we were never looking for substitute in our relationship cheers
• India
17 Dec 08
Hi Sanjana, Yes I am confident that our relationship is the one...But then when u are in an LDR u sometimes feel good when another guy appreciates your looks or you right....I kind of feel that my boyfriend is more into work these days (I want him to be) and hence our flirting time has become virtrually non existant.. How did you handle that? I mean 14 years is a long time right...Did'nt you have any 2nd thoughts if so how did u deal wit them????
@piya84 (2591)
• India
16 Dec 08
I am one indian girl here:)..so i think i can help u in better way as i have face such a situation many times.First thing stop depending on him emotionaly...like u have mention u discuss many problems with him..find other options like girl pals to do dat..also talk with him less but politely..some time during jokes and and flirting, become sometime little serious and mantion dat i am kidding..n i love my guy a lot so although u are flirting with me...dont take things seriously and dont expect anything from me.If he text u about missing u or something..then dont respond also delete those text on time. According to my experiance this another guy is big time player..who know how to blackmail emotionaly someone to get what they want.!! So please dont fall in trap plz!!
• India
16 Dec 08
Hey Priya, Thanks a ton for that lovely reply. I will make sure that I do not depend on him emotionally. But he happens to be a good friend of mine too. What to do about that? I really want to be good friends with him. Also he and I both know that he is only kidding. However He is a PHD in flirting and you are right about that. I will avoid talking to him much. Thanks...:-)
@underdogtoo (9599)
• Philippines
16 Dec 08
You seem to be very susceptible to flirting. I think maybe you like it and makes your blood flow a little faster. It's up to you to gauge whether it is worth it or not. Cheers!!
• India
16 Dec 08
Welll...who is not...? Yes I am ...but I am also well aware of my limits...thanks for responding!
@dumindum (160)
• Oman
16 Dec 08
I think the decetion is up 2 u. If you think that your BF is better than dat flirt. Be wit him
• India
16 Dec 08
There is no question of decision:-) Of course my guy is the best.....I am never confused about that...Thanks anyways:-)
@subha12 (18453)
• India
16 Dec 08
i understand the situation you are currently into. it may be this guy is taking advantage a s your Bf is away. never mess with two lives. Later it can be really problematic. Guys will flirt like this. pls beware of this guy
• India
16 Dec 08
Yes:-)...I need to be wary of this guy. We Indian girls are so vulnerable...:-)...Thanks for responding! Happy Mylotting!