Bah! Humbug!! Christmas is cancelled at our house!!!
By mentalward
@mentalward (14691)
United States
December 17, 2008 4:02am CST
I've lost what little Christmas spirit I had. It has nothing to do with finances, although Christmas would be a little thin this year because of the economy. That normally doesn't phase me at all because Christmas really is in the heart, not in all the gifts, decorations, or songs.
But, I haven't been able to get my family to cooperate at all. What has been done so far has all been done by me. I know that, typically, it's the woman who does most of the baking, decorating, gift buying, etc. but... ALL of it???
No one else has done a thing. My sons have bought some gifts, but that's all. My husband and I were supposed to go out and buy a tree last weekend but nothing was mentioned since I didn't open my mouth about it. I did tell my husband that I wanted a live tree this year to plant outside after Christmas but he put that idea down and said he didn't want to bother with a live tree this year. Apparently, he doesn't want to bother with ANY tree this year.
Christmas is 8 days away now. I've managed to decorate our deck a bit, just to cheer myself up but everyone seems to be waiting for my commands. I don't WANT to run this thing! I want to SHARE in everything, but no one else feels like putting any effort into it.
So, Christmas is cancelled. I'm not buying a turkey or things to make the stuffing or potatoes or rolls. I'm not pulling out any more decorations. I'm not doing anything.
I realized this morning what's been wrong with me for the past 2 days. All I've wanted to do really was sleep. The weather is really bad and that generally makes me feel lazy but this is different. I have absolutely no enthusiasm whatsoever for Christmas. I'm tired. So, I'm not going to fake it. I'm cancelling Christmas. If my family wants it, THEY can make it happen.
Have you ever felt this way about Christmas? Do you feel this way this year? Have you ever had to force yourself to get into the holiday spirit or have you curled up into a shell and not come out until after Christmas was over?
3 people like this
14 responses
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
19 Dec 08
Hmm... Looks like you got a burnout there my friend.
I think taking a day off from all the activities of preparing for Chirstmas is gonna do you a bit of good.
Have you shared your frustrations with your family?
They are usually taking things for granted cos mum is always there to get things done.
They will not realize that they are not doing enough.
So tell them your frustrations.
With a week more to go, there is still time aplenty to get things in order.
Rest well my friend. Christmas is all about cheer and celebration. No point tiring yourself out so much so that you cannot enjoy the festival altogether.
@mentalward (14691)
• United States
19 Dec 08
Very true and thought-provoking words, ahgong! I knew I could count on you to say the right thing. Thank you!
I did have a talk with my husband last night. At first, he was very negative about it and only said, "I'm very depressed, too." When I pointed out to him that he has a tendency to always say that when I tell him how I'm feeling, his attitude changed. I let him know that I've been bending over backwards to help him to be less depressed while he's done nothing to help me.
I think he's going out to buy a Christmas tree today. I'm not sure because it's raining right now and he's still asleep. (Working for yourself from home definitely has certain advantages! LOL) But, he asked me when it was supposed to start raining today. I know him well enough to know that he meant he was going out today and, with the conversation we had just had, it could only mean he's thinking of buying a tree. We shall see; it's raining already but snow is predicted for the weekend, that might be a better time to go get a Christmas tree.
Maybe my talk with him did some good. I hope so! I really didn't want to bother him with my feelings since he has a lot on his mind right now but, well, Christmas is not just like every other day... it is a very special day. That's what made me talk to him about my feelings. I had to let him know that sometimes we just have to make the most of what we have in order to be happy. I think it got to him.
I can only hope, huh? Thank you again for your words of encouragement!
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
22 Dec 08
See what I mean when I say you share?
Most of the times, we are so occupied with our own thoughts, we forget to see that our love ones are struggling.
SO a good smack in the head for them once in a while works wonders!
Happens to me all the time. AND my wife, being her thoughful self all the time, always try to carry as much a she could without informing me.
And when she cannot carry no more, she would tell me. Smacking me with facts and a good talk and I would wake up from my trance of self-indulging thoughts to see what is actually happening.
Sharing with your spouse to get him to help out may also take his mind off his own worries for a while to concentrate on something to lift his spirits.
Nothing beats having family around when one is down.
So, this christmas get together might just be the thing to make things better!
Have a MERRY CHRISTMAS my friend!
PS: Take look at the picture... have a laugh!
@MichaelJay (1100)
•
17 Dec 08
Christmas is overrated for most people. There is this other worldy air that somehow for a short time the world will become perfect and we see it all through a rosy glow.
It's like weddings and holidays. Some folks work so hard to make them perfect it becomes an obsession and then they get let down if the smallest thing goes wrong.
Both our daughters will be doing their own thing this Christmas, one with her husband and the other with her boyfriend so Christmas day will be just me and the wife and we will simply please ourselves hat we do for the first time in 30 years.
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
18 Dec 08
I can't help thinking we put a lot of stresses upon ourselves that things have to be done a certain way for holidays..uh, like in my tradition discussion. aww--try to get a tree..I just got mine today, and since they are so cheap this year (well cheaper) I might actually get another smaller one for the bedroom. I really never had a choice though...even when my mother was alive, even when younger, I pretty much took responsibilities for everything as my mother really didn't do diddly squat---talk about a person without any motivation. Sheesh! I do know what you mean though...sometimes my Christmas spirit is lagging, but what I do is force myself to do things....like last week I put the majority of decorations up all in one day and was still at it around 11 p.m. Once I got the decorations up I felt better. Like I said even when my mother was alive I never recall her doing any decorating leaving it all up to me. Now that I'm alone I really have to rely on myself to do things...unless I can get my two kitties to decorate...LOL
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Yes, I have felt this way before and it is much worse this year. I know exactly how you feel. I have my tree with the one string of lights on it and noone else wants to do anything with it so there it sits. I know that alot of people that just arent into it this year. it is very sad. I hope that your family comes around and help out.
@ginnypetree (267)
• United States
18 Dec 08
Christmas for me was looking pretty grim to start out with. But it turned itself around. It's not fair that everything should be on one person. But my motto is... If you want something done right you have to do it yourself. But thats just me... Maybe your trying to hard.. Hey just tell everyone were not having a stuffed turkey instead were having turkey sandwiches. And about those mashed potatos nope forget it were having potato chips! Because your NOT going to be the only one doing everything.. If that fails put a christmas sweater on get a headband and tape some tall candycane decorations to it and wrap yourself in tinsel and tell your husband your going nut in futs and its all due to no one helping you! It helps if you sing christmas carols, tease your hair, and wear your bra outside your x-mas sweater. Maybe that will get your husbands attention... LOL
@Thoroughrob (11742)
• United States
17 Dec 08
I would just tell them. I am with you. This year, in particular, I am having trouble. My husbands shop is shutting down for 2 weeks over Christmas, and right now are talking about only working 3 days a week for about the next three months. We cannot live on that and pay bills. I am so worried. Christmas is going to be pretty skimpy this year.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
17 Dec 08
I understand you completely but if they are waiting on you as you say, must sit them down as a family and tell them what you expect of them or you are not doing one thing more.
That way everyone will be on the same page.
@littleowl (7157)
•
17 Dec 08
Hi MW being honest Christmas is just another day to me..I know it shouldn't be like that but there is so much fuss and bother made of it and to most people it is just a time to eat drink and be merry, putting on pounds of weight, buying so many groceries you would think they are going to starve, it is too commercialised.. and the Festivity spirit is really not in me now, all my family have is a fancied up roast dinner, Christmas pud' nibbly bits and ourselves to with some pressies..that is our Christmas and it is more meaningful than all the bits and pieces everyone does for it, oh and we have a few decorations up too, with a nice little tree...hugs littleowl
@general1star (149)
• United States
17 Dec 08
I feel the same way this year as does my family. I think for us we are so overwhelmed with the state of the world that it is hard to find the Christmas spirit. We have bought gifts for one another but thats about it. The tree has been in the living room for 4 days but no decorations are on it yet. I have not bought dinner items or baked at all this year. I think a lot of people are depressed this year. I have decided that I would rather celebrate the new year in hopes that it improves our world situation. Although I will be attending church services Christmas eve as Christmas is much more then a decorated tree or a nice fat turkey for dinner.
@sudalunts (5523)
• United States
17 Dec 08
I guess Christmas is cancelled in my house as well. My husband has been say for the past week that he was going in the attic to get the decorations. Well, there are no decoration out so far. I really do not care, there are no gifts to put under the tree anyway. We are broke and the only thing I need is a job. I plan to stay home on Christmas, because knowing me, I probably will be feeling quite depressed. I never thought I would start a new year in the situation that I am in now.
@Shar19 (8231)
• United States
17 Dec 08
Oh I know how you feel. I've had many days and holidays when I've felt like that. I'm always the one doing all of the running around and buying things, doing the cooking and baking, etc. Unfortunately it usually is the woman that does all these things. I don't know many men who actually help with this stuff. I think if you don't do anything for Christmas day though that you'll regret it and only be punishing yourself more. Maybe you should reconsider?
@miraclefreebies (3043)
• United States
17 Dec 08
OH NO! I hate that happened to you. I don't know what's it like to be the only one that has the Christmas spirit. That has to be an awful feeling, doing all the decorating, cooking and everything else which is suppose to be a family holiday.
Christmas is suppose to be fun not a over slaving chore that hurts every time you breath. It wouldn't be any fun at all having Christmas all by yourself. Do you know why your husband is so NOT in the spirit this year?
I never felt this way before because when I use to celebrate Christmas, everyone was in the spirit, and it was always perfect and fun. We shared in the spirit together like a family should do.
I know you've done everything so far that has been done, and I just hate you did all of that just for Christmas to be canceled on you. Have you thought about talking to your husband to see what's been on his mind lately?
I'm not doing the Christmas thing anyways so I don't have to deal with anything like this concerning Christmas. I'm just waiting until it's over, but I wish you could have a great Christmas. You deserve it GIRL!
@chellymarz (408)
• Philippines
17 Dec 08
last year i did feel the christmas spirit because i just gave birth and recuperating from labor pains and sleepless nights. but i had my baby so she is the best gift i had last year. this year, i told myself that i dont feel the christmas spirit again. because i have so much trials and challenges this year. but a friend told me, Christmas is time to be happy because Jesus came to give us hope. there is still reason to be happy even without the material things. even things are not going as we have thought it would be, we have a choice to be happy. dont let things ruin what is the real essence of christmas which is love, peace and unity.
