I have figured out MyLot's fundamental flaw.

@katran (590)
United States
December 19, 2008 2:57pm CST
I think the developers of the site give people waaayyyy more credit then they deserve when they expect people to be able to fairly rate responses and fairly report people. It is quickly becoming obvious to me that there is no such thing as fair, and it is almost a better idea to never disagree with anyone just to make sure that no one ever thinks you are offensive and reports you. Shall I give an example? I was reading through this discussion the other day. It was very controversial, and there were lots and lots of responses, but I sifted through all of them. I was becoming increasingly...annoyed (to say the least) because I noticed the same one or two people were being very derogatory towards a certain religion. I do not follow the religion that they were insulting, but I do not think it is right to insult anyone's beliefs. I don't care if they believe in God, Allah, multiple gods, or the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Even if I think it sounds ridiculous, I won't say anything. So, needless to say by the time I got around to posting, I was sincerely pissed off about the intolerance. That was where I made my first mistake. I did something very rude and told someone to shut up. I know that was wrong. I probably deserved to be reported for it. I should have calmed down first and been more reasonable and responsible, but I didn't. And for that, I am sorry. But, I was disturbed. I was disturbed because I realized that among all the hatred that was going on, among all the people who were tossing around derogatory, bigoted remarks, I was the one who got called out. For saying "shut up". True, I should have been calmer...but why me and no one else? Could it have been because I chose to disagree with the OP and with the majority of the people there? What really constitutes "rude and abusive"? What is going to far? When has the line really been crossed? And are people rational enough to put their own biases aside when deciding these things? I personally think MyLot has too much faith in us, and the rules should be spelled out more clearly.
2 people like this
6 responses
@dawnald (84146)
• Shingle Springs, California
20 Dec 08
Sometimes it's all in how the message is delivered. Like if you had said that somebody's response sounded abusive instead of "shut up", maybe it would have been better received. But if the other people were abusive and you were the only person who was called out for it, that wasn't right either.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Dec 08
What are ways that you can stay in control of your emotions, I tried to share with Voice of Reason the way I will deal with his anger issues. I was concerned for Katran that if Voice of Reason espouses such behavior on a message board what is he like in real life, or in person? Such anger can lead to real problems. Yelling shut up to each other as a common word in your vocabulary proves a point to how you are raised. Are you familiar with the gymnastics training center called the Parketts? You might be familiar with them maybe? I'd love to share with you some of the things that those gymnasts go through as participants and also the family members in support of young aspiring gymnasts. There is a social lesson to be learned. It is not about forcing the person to do or controlling the student through excessive emotional abuse, the best of the best want to do well and using that as a foundation they build the gymnast up from there. So how is your life and childhood? Have you suffered abuse or are you just a product of an abusive community and this is how your peers treat each other? Our problems in society are part in parcel a plurality based on family dynamics and how our community allows abuse to flourish in public. The abusers could easily be community leaders or even the police that enforce the rule of law and codes of conduct. Ultimately the responsibility falls upon the shoulders of the judge.
• United States
20 Dec 08
I'm sorry Russell I dropped an 'l' in your name, that was not intentional and I do apologize for that.
@mysdianait (64056)
• Italy
19 Dec 08
Everyone hasa right to their own opinionand sometimes itmay sound very disturbingto others. This does not mean they should 'shut up' though surely? I do not go anywhere near the religion discussions because I guess they can get heated but I would not tell another person to keep his opinions to himself. If he was using abuse I would point it out to him but not by telling him to keep quiet.
@katran (590)
• United States
19 Dec 08
You are right. I am very aware that I went about it in an entirely wrong way. My emotions ran away with me, as then tend to do in religious discussion. Perhaps you are smarter than me in staying clear of them. That being said, I tried to point out that it was abuse, but of course if someone thinks they are right, they think they are right, and they certainly won't listen to me! Thank you for your input.
• Philippines
20 Dec 08
In a discussion, especially about religion and politics there are always two sides to it.. the pros and the cons otherwise it wouldnt be a discussion. it would be dictatorial or even a fan club.. sometimes even fanclubs have disagreements but basically that is how a discussion is formed. just like this one..not everybody with agree with you..some people will think youre right and others ..wrong.. in this case.. yours is also just an opinion..and when it comes to opinions..everybody thinks they are right and when others do not agree with you..you will think that they are wrong or being offensive.. but when you said shut up..it points directly to a person..you ordered him to stop responding to a discussion..maybe thats why the ops did that to you.
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
20 Dec 08
i find that topic about religion is controversial but i welcome the topic you shouldn,t be afraid to speak about your faith and your god.all because someone has a different faith then yours that do not agree.i welcome different religions because one thing we all have in common is our father in the heavens and they service god the best way they can.the only mistake i see you made was telling the person to shut up.but you know what we all makes mistakes.you admitted you was wrong and maybe the person will forgive you.this is a open discussion we all have different personality and to agree is to disagree.i have had many discussion where people don,t always agree with my opinion i except it and deal with it and at the same time keep respect for that person.i speak my mind but i try to do it with respect.so don,t worry it,s going to be ok thats where forgiveiness come in.you have a merry christmas you and your family.
• United States
19 Dec 08
You're making a lot of assumptions. Mylot doesn't need to bother with faith in the members or worry about fairness. They set up the rules, and if the site runs well, and most people follow the rules, that's all that's expected. The site has been running pretty much the same way for the couple of years that I've been a member. There's always been intolerance, bigotry, rudeness, unfair ratings, etc., etc., etc. What it comes down to is that you either accept it the way it is or you leave.