taking in family members kids during problems
By doulaworks
@doulaworks (1079)
United States
December 22, 2008 1:18pm CST
My husband and I have take in our 16 year old nephew. His parents are divorced, his mom (my husbands sister) was on the streets for 9 years on drugs and homeless as a result. the dad is from another country and has his 80 year old mom and 2 adult sisters that he brought over from their country to live and none speak english. Dad just couldnt handle them, working and caring for his family. Thier 15 and 16 year old sons ran things moslty. Disrespectful, not going to school, fighting. staying out at night etc. The 15 year old is in foster care, and the 16 year old was days away from being removed. The mom finally got clean and sober and truned to God, and is making her way back to have her boys live with her. In the mean time my husband felt we could take the 16 year old and help him. It is hard, but he is a brite young man. He tries us with the rules, (since he was 8 he has had not anyone to enforce much of anything) So, in3 months, we have taught him to do his own landry, household chores, and are checking up on him at school to help him be accountable for shcool work and attendance. we make him participate in family outings such as dinner, fishing, shopping etc. he has to earn his any money he gets, and privildges too. We have had to ground him a few times but I really think he is getting it... Have you ever helped out a family member by taking in thier kids?
1 person likes this
3 responses
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
22 Dec 08
dould hello and welcome to myLot. I want to comment you for taking on a really big job. Not many family members want to take on a teenager. Teens can be really difficult even with out having the experiences that your nephew has had. I have raised 6 myself. It has had to be a very trying time for you. You have probably save his life.[i] If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
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1 person likes this
@doulaworks (1079)
• United States
23 Dec 08
Thanks, but having 5 kids myself (4 are grown) and two grand kids, we felt we could make a difference in this young mans life. I tried to get him sooner, but it didnt work out. I wish I could get his brother too, but he is now in custody of the state of New York and has to complete a program first. We are hoping that it isnt too late for both of them, they deserve to be loved, and nurtured. Thanks for your kind words and your reply!
1 person likes this
@jessi0887 (2788)
• United States
23 Dec 08
Actually this man who was friends with my younger sister asked her. She is pregnant so she said no, but then she asked me if i would. The boy was a little older than my son. I wanted to but i am a single working parent. I barely can take care of my son and myself. He didn't want someone to take care of the child though he wanted someone to adopt the child. Once again i couldn't do it but really wanted to.
1 person likes this
@doulaworks (1079)
• United States
23 Dec 08
thanks for your reply! It is a huge responsibility for a sinle parent to make the best for thier own, so I aplaud you for knowing you couldnt take on some one else. There are many who would be great adoptive parents, so he might want to contact an adoption service to get help with placing his child safely. It takes guts to to whats right for kids, not everyone does. Be Well,
@syankee525 (6261)
• United States
23 Dec 08
first i like to say you guys rock... it's great to do what you are doing. sometime kids need to have an aunt and uncle to step up and say let me take the kids and give them that chance to become a good person and teach them the right things
myself took in two nephews before when they were younger. because one dad threw him out for not cleaning the house, because he was doing his home work.
but it's great of you guys. keep up the good work.
1 person likes this
@doulaworks (1079)
• United States
23 Dec 08
Thanks, I am gald to hear others are albe to step up and do the same for help the kids. I think in todays times, people are less willing to hel pours even family.
