Change

@Carolyn63 (1403)
United States
December 23, 2008 8:33am CST
Change is constant in life. Mind should accord with changes. Do not use yersterday's mind to perceive today's happenings. Zhuang Zi I found this great quote recently after a friend mentioned being told that all one has to do to bring about change is to simply change. Just do it she was told. This bothered me a great deal for several reasons. How many of us have found ourselves involved in relationships where we found things about our significant other that initially we thought was cute but then found it to make us insane? I think most of us. I know I have. We come to the conclusion that this person must change their ways. First of all, we don't have to right to force others to change. Secondly, we need to stop and take a moment about why this all of the sudden drives us quite mad. Most likely you will realize that you are the one that has changed and also will find that the issue you have is within yourself, not the other person. The other thing that bothered me is that we can't just simply change because someone else says so, or because we wish to. It does require that you look within and examine your perceptions and ideals. It means looking at the past, at issues that you may not have resolved, and looking at not only what occured, but why you reacted the way you did. Yes, we are constantly changing, all things are. It isn't just relations to people, but to circumstances, planetary changes, lunar aspects and so much more. It is about cause and effect. It is about preconcieved notions as well as the ideals of others via peer pressure. I think ultimately change is personal. It is also about being responsible. I don't think we should focus on what others want, but what we need for the benefit of all aspects of ourself as well as for all. Your thoughts?
2 people like this
4 responses
@sid556 (31005)
• United States
27 Dec 08
This is a great post Carolyn and one that I can really relate to. I have over time found that it is best for me to be on my own. People change....everything changes constantly. My daughter gave me this quote...."it is funny how day to day everything seems to stay the same and then suddenly we look around and everything has changed,"
1 person likes this
@Carolyn63 (1403)
• United States
31 Dec 08
Thank you for sharing that quote. You know, sitting here, I realize that it's those that choose to not to change or accept it are the ones paying the price. People that won't look within, that believe they are always right. Those that tell others how they should and shouldn't be and then act that very way themselves. Their answer to that, well it doesn't count when I do it. Ugh.
• India
24 Dec 08
To me, change is an integral part of trying to stay happy and satisfied. We are all born as loved babies and our parents take care of us. As we grow up the situation changes and we face many hardships on all fronts of life. Maybe we can no longer afford the comfortable lifestyle our parents provided for us and we can no longer afford that expensive school for our children. If only we learn to accept that the situation has changed over the years and within the changed circumstances, we have to try and do our best, we will be happy and our life will have less stress. If we continuously run after happiness without accepting change, we will never reach our goal.
1 person likes this
@Carolyn63 (1403)
• United States
24 Dec 08
That is just it, sometimes we have no choice. Often times we do however. Stress would be lessened if we looked at change as positive, an adventure, a new beginning. Thank you for sharing. Carolyn
1 person likes this
@riyasam (16578)
• India
23 Dec 08
People can change a lot, but I don't know about completely. An ancient way of learning to control your behavior is to examine yourself as others would see you.Socrates said famously, "The unexamined life is not worth living." You also need a positive role model, someone you admire and want to be like. Impulse control is a very important part in becoming an adult. Those who can't control their impulses at all are either criminals or insane or quite retarded.
1 person likes this
• India
30 Dec 08
You have chosen a very lengthy but real topic. Change is always there within us. Few years before I do not want to marry at all. Now the situation says that I should marry. Now I feel that I should marry. So change is not outside it is only within ourselves. We only change every minute and every second. But it is very much required for our part of life.
@Carolyn63 (1403)
• United States
31 Dec 08
May your new life be filled with abundant joy, love and laughter. Thank you for your comments. May this change be for the best for both of you and bring out the best in both of you.