If you found out your baby had been Switched At Birth..

United States
December 27, 2008 12:05am CST
would you want to switch them back now? lets say after 5 years or more at believing that the one you had was really yours? while yeah i would want to meet my real kid i would feel awful for the one that they had originally had and raised as theirs since i would always wonder if they like their REAL kid more etc.. and then the parents that want to switch them back after that whole time i think is horrible.. but i guess you wouldnt know till you are in the situation but do you think you would want to "switch" them back? as in fully give up the custody of the one you raised for the one that was yours? would you want to meet your kid at least? or would you rather just leave things as they are since you have loved and raised the wrong child this long and dont feel its right to trade or make them feel less related??
6 people like this
29 responses
@sacmom (14374)
• United States
27 Dec 08
My husband and I have talked about this years ago around the time I was pregnant with our oldest son. I told him that if that were to happen I'd want to keep the baby we raised, though I'd want to meet, and if possible keep in contact, with the family that had our biological child (if they were willing to agree). I don't think it would be right to switch back, especially years down the road when the child and parents already bonded with one another. But, like I said, if the families were willing to keep in contact with one another and become like an extended family, that would be a great way to get to know my biological child.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Dec 08
yeah that would probably be best to do
@ahgong (10088)
• Singapore
30 Dec 08
I really wouldn't know as it is really difficult to put myself in the shoes of a parent who is caught in such a situation. It would be a really horrible mix up if it ever happens. Especially if the child has been with you for so many years. And in the child's eyes, you are the parent. No one else can take that place. I was watching Private Practice that was recently aired. This story you posted is exactly what happened. But in this particular episode, at least they mixed up was found out early. And the parents decided to swap back before the child grows any older. So the babies were exchanged amidst much emotion. A horrible situation to be ever caught in. No parent will ever want such a kind of mix up to happen.
• United States
30 Dec 08
thats funny i never watch private practice
1 person likes this
@ahgong (10088)
• Singapore
31 Dec 08
Kate Walsh - One of the lead actress in the show Private Practice.
I watch it cos I find the lead star pretty. And as I continued the series, the stories are pretty good as well. BUt I never managed to follow the series very closely. Missed a lot of episodes. But the recent one really relates to the story you are writing about.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 09
they just had something in the news here about some one trying to steal a baby out of the hospital but didnt get away.. its crazy!
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18124)
• United States
6 Jan 09
I would have alot of emotional problems giving the kid I raised up but I would still want to get to know my kid so I would move or closer to my real child and try to be apart of their life as much as I could and let the child I thought was mine have that emotional connection with his/her real parents till we all felt comfortable with each other. I wouldn't want to give the child up that I raised even if I found it was not of my blood or body that isn't what makes a parent love a child otherwise adoptive parents wouldn't be able to love the children they adopt. I would try to get a house next door though so we(both sets of parents) could be in their childs life.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 09
yeah i think that is as good as you can do it with out damaging everyone.. hopefully the other set of parents would be cool with everything
@mtdewgurl74 (18124)
• United States
7 Jan 09
I would think they would want to see their biological child as much as I would mine and hopefully would be okay with it. Thanks for the best response I appreciate it.
@paula27661 (15900)
• Australia
29 Dec 08
I am positive mine hasn't been switched; she is the spitting image of her father! Seriously though, what a sad situation to be in. You would love the child you had been raising, but wouldn't you want to know your biological son or daughter? I guess the only thing I would do is befriend the other family involved so everybody can have contact with both children. I definitely would not swap back; how cruel would that be for the child; he or she would only know you as Mum or Dad so swapping would destroy the kid's world. Not an ideal solution but in a situation such as this one there is no perfect answer I guess.
• United States
7 Jan 09
yeah i think switching back would be horrible for both kids
@tmariew (32)
• United States
29 Dec 08
What if you chose one way and the other family chose the other? I mean if the switch wasn't their fault. What would you do then? I can't imagine having to go to court over that. I personnaly THINK I would want to have my own child but maintain a very close relationship with both of them, but i'm not positive because that would be a really hard choice.
• United States
7 Jan 09
yeah i know it would be hard since every one would want a piece of both
@mflower2053 (3227)
• United States
28 Dec 08
that would be hard. My daughter is only 18 months old and she is very attached to me so I could imagine how a 5 year old would be attached to the people who raised them. Even if they were not your child. That child may be angry most of the time and try running away b/c it feels like they don't belong with you even though they are really yours. I think I seen a story like that on Lifetime. I don't remember it too well but hopefully that will never happen to me b/c that would be very hard. I guess the child that you did raise can always come and visit you.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
if the kid even wanted to have anything to do with you after giving him back.. i would feel abandoned and not want to see them again if it was me
@rusty2rusty (6061)
• Defiance, Ohio
28 Dec 08
If I found out one of my kids were switched at birth. I would be thinking...that explains alot of things. I would not willing give up any child I raised. I would however want the other back. But if the other parents refused. I would want to at least my child and hope they wish to know theirs. I would try if possible to do the visitation such as divorce parents do. Every other weekend I have my child, the other weekend, they have theirs.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
yeah i guess a lot of it has to do with the other set of parents and how cooperative they are
• Canada
27 Dec 08
well, first of all i would have to keep the original baby i was taking care of , and secondly i would want to meet the other, perhaps get custody of both :), it's a sticky situation.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
yeah i couldnt give up the one i had a bond with already
27 Dec 08
i think it would be a great idea to somehow merge our 2 families together, since i could get to know my biological child, as well as keep my raised kid in my life as well.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
yeah i think that would be the good and healthy answer to the problem
• Canada
27 Dec 08
I would want to get to knowmy real child but I don't believe they should be switched back or even find out about the switch untilthey are old enough to understand why they were not switched back. After so long the bond you have with the child you raise would outweigh any reasoning of giving the child back. I don't think it would be fair to uproot the kids after that long and have them feel unwanted.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
i know to me if you have already raised the false one for awhile to where you have a bond then you shouldnt just give that away in hopes for a bond with the blood child.. but im not a parent either
• Romania
27 Dec 08
I would want my own blood back, because he or she would be the product of my and my other half's love... I would want to keep in touch with the other baby if it would be possible, 5 years I think are enough to make anyone attached so I think he or she would be as part of the family anyway, and It would be nice if the two babies would later grow up to be like brothers...
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
yeah too bad there are the other set of parents to consider to where you couldnt just have them both
@lvaldean (1613)
• United States
27 Dec 08
Biology is irrelevant in this situation. Nurture is the key. You have spent years with a child, raising them, caring for them, providing for them. They are in fact your "real" child. The only difference is that they are not related to you by DNA. So what! Neither is a child that is adopted and yet people adopt all the time and those bonds are no less true. Certainly I would want to know that my biological child is well cared for and well loved. I would hope that they parents of my biological child would be open to getting to know me and getting to know my family. I would hope that we could form some sort of bond over time so that the children could also get to know their biological parents and one another. I would not demand the return of my biological child however. What I would do is seek out who made the mistake and make them pay.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
yeah i agree.. i would think/hope that you had a bond with the wrong kid already to where it wouldnt matter in a sense of demanding them switched but of course be able to get to know the true one just for the sake of knowing him
• United States
27 Dec 08
I think that would be very difficult on both the parent and the child. I think the best solution would be to become "auntie" to the other child in both directions and leave it as is.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
yeah that would be a good way to handle it.. make it an extended family type thing
@laila675 (528)
• United Arab Emirates
27 Dec 08
i have read a true story about this and the thing is that the families where on a diffrent nation. curiousity came when the child was growing up a diffrent feature, i mean like she doesn't have the look of either her mom and dad. And then they made a dna test and as a result she was not theirs. and so they've checked the hospital where the mother gave birth and found the other couple who's having their true daughter. i think the babies ere 3 or 4 yrs old. and so they made the exchanges but slowly. like getting to know each other before totally exchange. since they are still babies i guess it's better to have your own or much better to love both. it will be difficult but it will be better than not knowing your own child.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
they are lucky they figured it out so young
@j47lee (743)
• Canada
27 Dec 08
hmm.. yea i would want my biological baby back.... but i wouldnt lose contact with the other baby... maybe i would be his/her godmother.....and keep in contact with the baby... You cannot forget someone who you nursed and nurtured for five years... i would miss the switched baby very much.... and i would love the two babies to know each other...
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 08
so you would give up the one you have been raising for the one that belong to you?
@_sketch_ (5711)
• United States
27 Dec 08
I think I would want to meet my biological kid, but I wouldn't want to switch because I know I would be so attached to and in love with the kid I raised. I think I would want to meet and try and make a relationship with my real kid though, but I dont know if I would really think of him/her as my child. I wonder if there would be any sort of natural attachment to a child you have never really known. But anyways, I would never want to give up the child I raised because even if they aren't my biological child they would still be mine. It would be just like adopting a child, you still love them regardless of where they came from.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 08
yeah i think that would be best.. get to meet and visit your real one but keep the one you have always had
@mscott (1926)
• United States
27 Dec 08
That is a tough question. I think I would want to find my biological child. If the people who had my real kid were the ones that switched them I would have them arrested and try to gain custody of both the kids. If it were done say by mistake, someone would surely be hearing about it.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Dec 08
yeah if the other couple were the ones to switch it would be cool to be able to have both but what if it was switch and lose the old one or nothing at all?
@fairydew (180)
• United States
29 Dec 08
After 5 years, I would probably have some close bonds to the child and would not want to give that up. However, I think I would want to see and become acquainted with the child that was really mine. It would probably take some professional help and counselling for all concerned to try and determine what to do after finding out such a reality as this.
1 person likes this
@hdjohnson (2981)
• United States
29 Dec 08
WOW that is something to consider for sure. I really cannot think of that since I was there when all three of my children were born. Each time, I left my wife in the room with the doctors to ensure I nothing like the switching of my child took place. I stayed with my children until they were returned to the room with my wife as well. I would definitely want to meet and take care of my real child, and you bet the hospital would have a major law suit on their hands. It would not be enough that the mistake was finally uncovered, but rather the torment and distress that has come about after raising the wrong child and then finding out the horrible story of a switched baby. Man that really a interesting discussion you started.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20248)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Every time I hear about this situation I wonder what I would do. I guess it would depend on how it would effect the child and how the other people felt. There are just to many variables to predict what one would do.