I Miss Her Already

United States
December 28, 2008 3:02pm CST
Hey guys, After a year n a half, yesterday my Girlfriend told me she wasn't happy about our relationship and wants to be alone to get her herself together. At first I didn't know what to do but man I'm so gutted!, I know I'm not the best Boyfriend in the world because I suck at showing my feelings towards her but I do try in my own ways, but since then I've been hiding away, barely talking or eating and just in general, depressed, I want her back so bad. Its funny because I didn't think id take something like this so bad, now that I've lost her I realise how much I love her. After yesterday during the day when she finished it, I wanted to talk to her and we went out for a drive during the night. I tried telling her how I feel and that i want her back, obviously this didn't work and deep down I knew it wouldn't, but i couldn't resist. At the end of the night I dropped her off with her saying she doesn't want to loose contact with me or never see me again. So today, I thought over my situation and keeping in contact with her I don't think is a good idea on my end so decided to leave her a text letting her know that staying in contact isnt a good idea and that I'm taking a back seat to try n get over her. With a thanks for everything and an I love you at the bottom etc. She said she understands and shes sorry. And now that's us pretty much in silence and now I've got things of hers lying over my room and me sitting on my bed with my laptop trying to find solutions to my problem. How can I bounce back from this? She's a really special girl so I want it to work but I just don't know anymore.
3 people like this
10 responses
@spalladino (17924)
• United States
28 Dec 08
Ok, Tray, from the ole biker chic who's faced the end of a relationship a time or two, here's some advice. First of all, put away all of her stuff that's in your room so you don't have to look at it all of the time. Those reminders hurt and your goal right now should be to lessen the hurt. Get your butt out there and do stuff with your friends. Stay busy and you will have less time to miss her. What happens...or doesn't happen...in the future isn't up to you since she was the one who made the decision to break it off but I think you handled it with class and I'm sure that hasn't gone unnoticed by her. It shouldn't go unnoticed by you either. Maybe she will realize that you're the one she truly wants to be with...or maybe she'll paint the town red...but you didn't lock the door, you only closed it as you should have. I know this sounds lame but she's not the only girl in the world who can make you happy. Take the lessons you've recently learned...the new awareness that you now have...to your next relationship. And, DON'T go looking for someone right away. You need time to get your head together and chances are that the more you look for a serious relationship, the less likely you will be to find one.
1 person likes this
@kareng (7980)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Excellent advice! How are you feeling today? Better?
@kareng (7980)
• United States
28 Dec 08
I'm not a guy but a lady. I think you sent her a mixed message when you said that keeping in touch is not a good idea. Keeping in touch doesn't mean a daily call but leaves the door open for you to call her in a couple of weeks or next month. Then you signed off with an I love you. If you want to keep the doors open, you have to have the door to communication open. Try to give her time to figure this out. In the meantime, I think you should call her and tell her that you can't slam the door. Tell her you are sick with emotion and were reacting without thinking. Tell her that you respect her feelings but you would also like to hear from her and find out how she is doing. This will give you the opportunity to check in with her also. But don't overdo it with daily phone calls. It's obvious that she wants some privacy.
@kareng (7980)
• United States
29 Dec 08
:)
@randy80 (36)
• Sweden
29 Dec 08
Tray my friend, I am sorry fot what is going on with you but i can tell you that it is never too late, I mean if you ask her what is the problem or try to fix it if possible, I mean it can be the end of your relationship but instead of you taking it so hard, try to do this. Ask her what is her decision based on and ask her if you both can work it out. I mean you have to decide either to move on without this guilt feeling or get along togather while you enjoy being togather and as you have said: "she is a special girl". because you must go on, I mean you can not set alone and think about this matter because you will not get anywhere thinking by yourself. You did not make the decision to let her go. I hope you get along again Or you will find your way to peacefull minnd and life without her. Good luck
• India
29 Dec 08
Oh man i really can feel your feelings since i'm also in somewhat a similar plane and i think that you should really explain your situation to her with love in your mind and dont say it very sadly and in a sorry feeling state and the she would really accept it..just try out dude..please dont ever see ego in love since ego kills in the relationship..dont stop anything..just call her and message her daily and let her know your love and she will someday or the other feel your feelings and would re join with you again..dont worry dude..be happy...happy mylotting dude and wishing you,your family and your love a happy new year..
@yimesh (12)
• India
29 Dec 08
yes, i also has the same feeling with my girl friend
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
29 Dec 08
well, this is a very tough situation you are in now... but i think it is much better for you to end the relationship with her sooner rather than later... the later you postpone it, it will be more painful for both of you as your feelings had grown even deeper with each other... if the relationship doesn't work out anymore, i think it is better to be honest and end it... i'm so sorry though that it happened to you... good luck... take care and have a nice day...
@annjilena (5620)
• United States
29 Dec 08
sounds like you may need some time to pull it all together.if you are depressed maybe you need some much needed help so you can be the best boyfriend you can be.no sense in both of you beening miseriblbe.with drawal is a sign your depression is getting worse and not eating something is going on with you. seek help there is no shame in needing help.your girl have taken all she can take it takes two to make a relationship work.with you not telling her how you feel she feels you don,t really care for her.the healing starts now.i hope you can bounce back and regain what you once had but the first step is dealing with your depression you are no good to her in this state.
@modstar (9610)
• Philippines
29 Dec 08
You're special in your own way and she knows that. For sure, the longer you don't communicate, the more she'll miss you. Well, not unless she's got another guy in mind, if you know what i mean. Based from experience, there was a time when i was forcing myself to my girl in a sense that i'm making my presence felt and that kind of annoyed her so i took the backseat then she ended up texting me asking me how am i doing then she started talking about her dog and everything that has something to do with the two of us. There goes your chance.
@4ftfingers (1313)
28 Dec 08
You're doing the right thing by cutting her out. It's so painful, but i think it's impossible to get over someone while you're still mates. When I split with my girlfriend in August, she told me she didn't want to lose contact, and wanted to be friends etc. But it's really not th same, we started fighting loads and in the end I said I just can't be mates with her, maybe next year. That was back in October and it was the best decission I made because when I heard she was seeing someone else, it really didn't bother me. I know what if I was still mates with her, and doing all the things we were doing still - sleeping together etc, it would have killed me when she finally said 'we can't do this anymore, I'm seeing someone now'. I really believe in 'out of sight, out of mind'. Ofcourse I'm not completely over her but it really sped up the process.
@AnakSuNamun (2084)
• United States
28 Dec 08
That's a tough question. You can't force someone to love you and sometimes relationships just end with no hope. Although,if she said she wanted to get herself together and stay in touch with you,you might still make it. I don't think it would be a good idea to bother her now but,on the other hand,you don't want her to forget you and meet some other guy next week. I'd say wait for the right moment when she feels like talking and ask her what exactly she didn't like about your relationship and will she reconsider if you make those things right. Now,if you promise a girl something,you better do it or she will lose all respect for you. I've been promised change for good before but if it didn't happen after a while I'd split. I hope you were just an introvert and not an abuser or a meanie cause in this case some extra attention might help. Send her flowers,remind her how much you care and be more open.