Would you go to a wedding of someone who you're not so close with?

United States
December 29, 2008 9:30am CST
Yesterday a co-worker of mine got married and she invited all of us to the church. I was debating whether I should go since I didn't have any gift(we got her a gift as the team),I wasn't dressed appropriately,I don't go to church and,most importantly,I don't know if she really wanted to see us or she did that out of courtesy. Besides,everybody who went to the wedding was a Latino and while I'm buddies with most of them,I might've felt a bit out of place so I didn't go.Hopefully,I wasn't missed What would you do?
15 people like this
49 responses
@lovesummer (1162)
• Malaysia
31 Dec 08
Maybe I will go since she invited me. But I would definitely go with some friend otherwise I won't go.
2 people like this
@808nala (640)
• United States
31 Dec 08
If we weren't close, I wouldn't go to the wedding either. I would probably feel uncomfortable and I wouldn't enjoy myself. I think you did the right thing. At least you chipped in for a gift. She should be happy about that.
2 people like this
@bombshell (11266)
• Germany
31 Dec 08
if it is relatives and i have invitation, even not close sure i will go there for a respect.
2 people like this
@korbchng (40)
• Philippines
31 Dec 08
That's no problem for me, I've been to a couple of weddings whereas I don't really know the couple. And I'm a believer so I don't mind going to a church wedding. Wedding is a milestone for two people sharing their life and love with one another. If they want me to witness that love, then I won't mind accepting their invitation. Not unless if I had some things to take care of then the invitation came in a bad timing.
@Zelda414 (149)
• United States
30 Dec 08
well if they were a friend n we just werent close it would depend on how he or she asked me to go...........well in your case i have to agree i prob wouldnt have went either just because it sounds like this really wasnt someone you care too much about being around but i dont go to every wedding im invited to anyways......one year i did go to someones wedding i really didnt know only because my husband knew them an it was a gorgeous wedding but unfortunately it lasted like 6mths that was it.
2 people like this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
30 Dec 08
i wouldn't have gone because i don't like big social events. i went to my sons weddings & if i live to see my grandchildren wed i'll go but that's it. i think it's a big lot of hoopla , too much money spent on some of them & they'd be just as married if they went to the courthouse. i think a big wedding is a big waste of money &then 1/2 the time they don't stay married. what an attiitude, huh?
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Jan 09
Your attitude actually makes sense,people do get divorces half the time but that's mostly in America. Back in my country they make a huge wedding with lots of drunk relatives and nice gifts and after that they are too embarrassed to divorce even if they want to! lol
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36489)
• United States
3 Jan 09
GUESS THAt's one way to keep it together. lol. happy new year!
• United States
29 Dec 08
To me, weddings are an important and special time for the 2 getting married, and only close friends and family should be invited. If you just invite the whole world then its not a wedding, its a general party. Is that what the beginning of a union for life between 2 people should be? an excuse to party? I do not believe in big weddings with a lot of people. Huge weddings are nothing but a massive headache for everyone and thats not the way to start a marriage, its just setting the marriage up for disaster. A wedding should be something special between the bride and groom, and the select friends and family they wish to have near during thier special time. My wife and I got married completely alone in our bedroom (in Colorado you can self-marry). Both of our families have been stubborn about our relationship since it started, so we choose not to have anyone else there since our marriage is for us, not them. This was the way we both decided would be most special to us, so that's the way we did it. With that said, I personally would not go unless I was very close to the individual and knew that my presence was very important to them.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
Interesting! I didn't know one could marry in their bedroom! I have a whole lot of relatives but unfortunately (or fortunately) none of them are here.
• United States
30 Dec 08
Wow! How does that work in Colorado? What makes the difference between someone just "saying" they're married and actually legally marrying? I didn't know you could do that anywhere in the US!
• Ireland
6 Jan 09
I'd say if she personally invited me to the wedding I would go but if not I won't. I'd feel that I'm gate crashing the party of I go if not invited. I don't blame you when you didn't go. Its not a nice feeling when you feel left out or something. Anyway, happy posting!
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Jan 09
Thanks,same to you!
@savypat (20246)
• United States
30 Dec 08
I don't go to weddings of people I know. I hate weddings for some reason i always end up crying and i hate to do that in public. So I just send gifts, the family knows this about me so they don't get their feelings hurt.
• United States
3 Jan 09
Oh,you poor thing! I have a different problem,I usually end up sneering sarcastically much to annoyment of the romantic kind
@sacmom (14315)
• United States
30 Dec 08
Actually I went through something similar a few months ago. My family and I got an invitation to go to my cousin's daughter's wedding. Even though it was only a few miles down the road from my home I decided not to go. Mainly because my car was and still is in need of work. But mostly because I'm not close to these particular family members, even though we live near each other. Even though we are family I still felt I would be out of place if I went. So I stayed home with my husband and kids.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Jan 09
Hopefully,they didn't get mad at you since you live down the street
@vanities (11376)
• Davao, Philippines
30 Dec 08
hi anaksunamun!! i guess i will if she personally invite me or if a common friend told me to go since she had already ask the permission...i like attending weddings..
• United States
2 Jan 09
Um,I got an invitation card so,i guess,that was pretty personal
• Philippines
30 Dec 08
Well if I was invited then I would go. I am usually lazy at attending events like that so maybe I would just bring her a gift when she comes back to work or even just a card or just greet her on her wedding and apologize for not coming even if she really doesn't care if I went or not it will be just a courtesy to her invitation. Atleast she would know that I didn't snob her wedding and she won't think ill of me.
• United States
30 Dec 08
That's what I will do
• United States
30 Dec 08
I think if you didn't feel like you could be there, then you shouldn't go. I wouldn't go, either, unless I had the time and energy to do so. I am not close to any of my coworkers and wouldn't go to any of their weddings if I was invited, either.
• United States
30 Dec 08
Darn,how smart I am! lol
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I think it all depends. Usually I can't get a sitter anyways, so that would have a huge impact in my decision. If it was a co-worker I was friendly with I'd probably go, but if it was a distant relative I didn't communicate with much, I'd probably pass.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
Seems like you got unlucky with your no-so-new relatives...
@laydee (12814)
• Philippines
29 Dec 08
I don't go to weddings if I don't personally know the couple. Being invited because you're a co-worker might truly be out of courtesy. Now it's different if you're best buds, right? Further, if you're under dressed and don't feel comfortable, then it's better not to go too. Plus, not to mention that if you're not close, it's better not to go so at least to help them save up from the head count. Better have few close guests than having a flock of people you're not really close with.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
I agree,I wouldn't want to eat all the food AND not bring a gift! lol
• India
29 Dec 08
If the person is not that friendly to me and just invites me out of courtesy then i would defienetly not attend the wedding as i look into the details of the person and then only i plan to attend or not attend the wedding..i think it really is important because if the person just invites you for courtesy and then when you go there the person really looks like why you have come when i just invited you simply..that i really dont like..so i avoid these sort of things...happy mylotting..
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
Thank you. She is a nice and friendly girl but we never hung out outside of work. Besides,as I said,everybody there is family and.or speaks Spanish so I wouldn't want to be stuck in a corner while everyone else is enjoying themselves. Or maybe that would've been a good opportunity to get drunk with other co-workers and I missed it! lol
@jessi0887 (2794)
• United States
29 Dec 08
If invited i don't see nothing wrong with going. You don't have to take a gift. My fiances sister is getting married and she has not invited me to anything not even the bridal shower. So i am not going. I think she doesn't want me to anyways. I will only go if my fiance goes and wants me to go with him. I think he rather not go though.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
Doesn't look like they are very close. I don't know,I think it's wrong not to invite ur brother's gf if he's invited. It's a happy day and it would make sense to forget feuds,at least for once.
@sk66rc (4261)
• United States
29 Dec 08
I went to couple of weddings as a date for someone when I didn't know people who were getting married at all... It didn't bother me that much... Towards the middle of the reception, most people were drunk anyway so didn't really matter...
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
That makes sense but we were going to the church and nobody was getting drunk yet! Hopefully...
• China
29 Dec 08
I would go if I were you. Wedding ceremony is one of the most important event of people. Everybody wants to share this holy moment with relatives and frends. And I think everybody who was invited to wedding should be proud of it because you are the witness of the most holy time of your friends. As for gifts, I think your presence is the best gift you could give. So, don't hesitate, pal, just go for it!
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
Great response but it's too late...
@jess368 (3368)
• United States
29 Dec 08
Well I had a friend in 7th grade who I recently started talking to on Myspace. We were not close in middle school, and we definetly arent close now, but she got married and invited me and another friend from middle school. So we decided to go. We actually got lost and missed the wedding, but made it to the reception. I felt very ackward, because we didnt know a sole there except for the bride(which we hardly new at that age), so we stayed for about 45 min, and decided to head out. So I think you made the right decision not to go, it would have been a little uncomfortable.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Dec 08
Thanks for the consolation!