What happens when you deny a friend request?

@jesssp (2742)
Canada
December 31, 2008 12:19pm CST
When you choose to deny someone's friend request does it simply just go away or does it send the person like a big flashing THEY DON'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU!!!! message? I'm just curious. I don't like to just add people when we don't have anything in common or if they're clearly just going for the highest number of friends they can. But I also don't want to be rude or feel like a jerk. So what happens when you're friend request is denied?
2 people like this
15 responses
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
31 Dec 08
There won't be any notification of a denied friend reques, I guess it will stop show 'pending' though for the person who requested it. But basicly, that's it. If you don't deny a reques every once a while you get so many friends that going through friend discussions becomes impossible. You can also add someone and if you never hear from them, remove them. You provide them the chance to get to know eachother and if it doesn't work out you can remove them from your list. I don't think that it's a bad thing if you aren't responding to eachothers discussions anyway.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
When I first started out I wasn't quite sure about the benefits of keeping your list trimmed down a little. Now I realize that it's better for responding to friends' discussions, and you get more thoughtful responses, if you only select people who you either have things in common with or who seem to offer respectful opinions even if they don't agree.
1 person likes this
@cyberfluf (5005)
• Netherlands
2 Jan 09
I think the last thing you said is one of the most important things: people who respect your opinion even if they don't agree with it. That keeps a discussion site going. Thanks for responding!
@katsmeow1213 (29044)
• United States
31 Dec 08
Nothing happens. They don't get a message or anything. Actually they'd never know unless they check to see if you're their friend now. I deny a lot of requests, because like you, I don't want just a ton of friends. I only accept new friends if their name looks familiar to me, like I've seen them around Mylot before.
2 people like this
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
31 Dec 08
Ok, good. I kinda figured that. So once you've denied someone can they re-request?
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 08
Yes they can, over and over again. I once saw a discussion by someone that the same person had requested their friendship a bunch of times in a row, and they were getting tired of it because they didn't want to be this person's friend. So far I have not had a problem like that, if I deny someone they usually just go away.
2 people like this
@myklj999 (18379)
31 Dec 08
If you deny a friend request, it sends a message to the denied user stating "USER ****** HAS NOW DECLARED YOU AS AN ENEMY". (Sorry, I couldn't resist) Naw, all that happens is next time they visit your profile it will say "add user as friend" instead of "send message" or "pending friendship r4equest".
2 people like this
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
31 Dec 08
Boy, could you tell that that's what was going through my head? I wonder about goofy stuff like that and always think the worst. I'm kinda a dork like that.
1 person likes this
• India
31 Dec 08
please accept my request....waiting for u i really miss u i feel alone without u here is someone who wish to share ur love n care hope we have love n care in commom plus a motto to earn by hard work too
• United States
1 Jan 09
If I ever deny someone from being my friend... it MIGHT be you.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
I hope that's a joke, sounds a little intense.
• United States
31 Dec 08
I have no idea what happens but I have denied a few request since I have been here. If I look at their home page (or whatever it is called) and don't care for what I see or I get that weird feeling I will deny them in a second.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
31 Dec 08
Oh come on, are you tying to tell me that you and that lubi looney aren't friends?
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 08
LMAO I'm sure I would be right at the top of his list!
1 person likes this
• United States
31 Dec 08
I am not sure myself I have not denined anyone yet. If you would like to know I can send you a request and you can deny it and we will see what happens. It probably would just say that it is denied is what I am thinking. Let me know I would be more than willing to help if you would like.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
31 Dec 08
Ok, let's try it out of curiosity. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@coffeebreak (17820)
• United States
1 Jan 09
Let us know what happens. I have wondered about this too!
1 person likes this
@owlwings (39768)
• Cambridge, England
2 Jan 09
No, a denied friend request doesn't send a message. It just goes away. I always check out peoples' profiles first to see why they are requesting. If they have answered a discussion I was also responding to or they seem to post interesting discussions themselves, then I usually accept. If it seems they are just inviting randomly in order to build up a big list of friends, I generally deny.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
Yes, I agree, that's what I've been doing as well. I have noticed a lot of men will go through and just request all the women that they come across. I don't really feel bad about denying those anymore - this really isn't a dating site!
@lexus54 (3576)
• Singapore
1 Jan 09
Actually, I am curious to know the answer to that question too. Some people may be thinking that if they reject someone's friend request, the other party may get a rejection note that wouldn't appear nice, so they refrain from rejecting any such requests. Worst case, they just keep the request pending forever till the requester cancels it at their end. This happened to me once. My request for friendship wasn't acted upon for more than one year, and finally I had to give up and cancel it on my own accord. As far as requests go, I have not rejected a single friend request, but that is not out of fear of antagonizing the requester. I am just friendly with anyone who wishes to be friendly with me. That's just me.
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
That happened to me a few times too. One just became inactive but another just left it pending forever so I eventually deleted them on my own. Now that I know it's no big deal I don't feel like I'm being rude by denying requests. I'm not super picky or anything, I just don't like it when people start requesting everyone they see, it just gets difficult to keep track of.
@joerhonda (476)
• United States
31 Dec 08
Well, seems you got your answer...I was wondering the same thing! LOL! I haven't denied anyone yet either, but I was curious. I did have to tell you that I got a giggle out of your discussion! I love the way you worded it! Rhonda
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
Thanks, one of those 'you'll never know unless you ask' kinda things. And it ended up as a pretty good discussion, too!
• Singapore
1 Jan 09
For me, I do not turn down people's request at all unless some ready complicated issue. Personally, I have added "friends" on other site, a few turned me down, reasons were that I was older than them. I just had a laugh, life have to carry on.
1 person likes this
@MadAnd (35)
• Romania
1 Jan 09
Nothing happens because I deny friend requests from people that I actually don't know. But if it happens that I deny I person that I actually know and he want's to know, I'll just figure out a lie. Or not. Tell him straight.
1 person likes this
• India
1 Jan 09
Friendship is the boon of God. It is very difficult to get a true friend in this world of selfishness.If anybody wants to make you friend you should not deny it. May be he will become your best friend.If you deny a friend you will become restless. If anyone asks you for money, there will be no effect if you deny but denying friendship makes you restless because friendship is such a rare thing which can't be compared in terms of money.
@jesssp (2742)
• Canada
2 Jan 09
I'm really not sure that applies to a forum like Mylot.
• Romania
1 Jan 09
Well, they get a message stating that their request has been denied.
• India
1 Jan 09
Till date i have not denied any ones request.
@arcidy (5016)
• United States
31 Dec 08
im pretty sure nothing would happen if you deny a friend. Even though I dont deny anyone but maybe they just keep trying to requst you untill you let them be your friend thats what I see happening if they really want you to be ther friend but other then that I doubt anything will happen