financial problem with husband

China
January 4, 2009 8:45pm CST
my husband recently always talk about money with me, it seems he focus on money so much, it's very strange.he is working in goverment bureau, I am owning my company and earning more money than him, he requested me to share 50% with him and separately manager the money, I do not agree. I can not understand why he need to do so, because I never ask for his salary and most of the expense for family is taken from company,his money should be enough to spend, why he insist to get this? our family relationship is good,no problem, he take care of my son and me well, I can not understand his action
6 people like this
12 responses
@royal52gens (5380)
• United States
5 Jan 09
I would definitely be on alert if I were in your place. This sounds like a big change has happened and I would be questioning him a lot. I would want details. Why? Why is he requesting this particular change? Is he is trouble with money? Has he gambled his money away? Does he need your money to cover himself for some reason? Has he been talking with someone that has suggested this change? You seem to be in a good position for standing on your own without him. Is he planning a divorce? Girl, You need to ask more questions. And keep asking until he comes up with some answers that make some logical sense.
1 person likes this
• China
5 Jan 09
thanks for reminding, I think it's time for me to talk with him deeply. Because it's not his normal way to handle with money. on other hand, I have to look into his action, hope everything will be ok.
1 person likes this
@spoiled311 (5502)
• Philippines
5 Jan 09
hi ntmingyu! well, yeah, first things first. how come your accounts are separate? in my case, well, my husband lets me manage our accounts and our finances because he trusts me to do better than him... i wonder, is your husband into gambling? i don't want to give you a false impression, but sometimes, when a husband is so into your finances, asking the wife for something, almost always, there is a vice...could be gambling or women. that is why they need a lot of money. my husband gives me all his salary, but i tell him to leave something in his atm account so that it will not be zero always. so i wonder really when guys behave like that. maybe you can both sit down and talk it out and present your case? and also to present the expenses, etc. the needs of the family and the like. hope everything will work out for the best for your family. take care and God bless you! :-)
• China
5 Jan 09
first of all, i think there is no problem with separating accounts.because even pepele got married, they are still two parts, which is they all have their freedom.your husband now recently ask you to share your mony with him maybe because he is getting in some serious problems,such as gambling...or maybe beacuse he wants you to prove that you love him still. anyway, there are many possibles situations. i think you two should have a face to face conversation, you two are a family, is that right?
• India
5 Jan 09
In my opinion If you are married and live a happy life there is no need of separate money. I think you both should be committed towards each other and consider yourself and your husband as one. This relationship is really precious and I think it should not be affected by such matters as money. I hope you have a blessed life ahead. Take care.
• China
5 Jan 09
Maybe you need to talk to him and try to find what he thinks about this issue. Maybe he holds different opinions with you and think from another angle. Try to communicate with your husband, maybe you will understand him and his action. Wish you good luck~
@sowbug (7)
• United States
5 Jan 09
most men its a power thing to have some control over money ,but it does sound alittle fishy.id discuss it further with him
@tammytwo (4303)
• United States
5 Jan 09
I would definitely find out what exactly is being done with his money. It sounds as though he may have found a new hobby that is costing him greatly. Get details soon.
• Philippines
5 Jan 09
He must be very lucky that you are the one who shoulder almost all of the expenses of the house and the family. What I can say is that that case is not good. I think it is better that you combine all your income and then minus the expenses, allowances for both of you. And the rest will be for your savings for the family's future. And I think it is better that your saving will be named for both of you so one can just withdraw it without ones knowledge. An advice do not say yes to his proposal to have a 50% share from your money. It will just make him spend and maybe cheat you.
• China
5 Jan 09
i only heard that the husband don't give money to their wife . your story are real first and fresh to hear. i think you'd better have a talk with him what made him want to share your money , if he need money in urgently, you can help him, if not, you don't have to share with him, take care of you and your son is his responsebility, not the method and share your belongings.
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
5 Jan 09
if most of the expense for the family is taken from the company, then why does he need to be your partner? I mean in a way he is already your partner. he is married to you, you two are as one family. and your business income is used not only to pay business expenses, but also family expenses. the only thing I can think about is the tax cut. business losses will reduce his income too so higher tax return. but if your business is not suffering from losses I don't think this is a good idea. either you find out what exactly is going on, or maybe speak with an expert about partnership. if the clauses are clear, who knows it may work out well for you.
@lingli_78 (12844)
• Australia
5 Jan 09
i will have a serious talk with him and asked him lots of questions if i were in your position... it sounds very strange to me as well that he suddenly talks about money... i will start be on an alert and watch his every move just to make sure that he doesn't do anything funny behind my back... hope everything is alright for you... take care and have a nice day...
@KrauseHome (35517)
• United States
5 Jan 09
Well, if he is making a decent amount from his job, and you are making a decent amount from yours, maybe he just feels you should maybe offer some of yours to help keep things going as he is helping with his? Or he feels a need for you to do this so he does not feel inferior or something? I have a Seperate account from my husband even though he makes more than me, and unless it is something we really need together a lot of times he never asks me for any of mine as well. So maybe for you you just need to sit down and discuss this a little more together and see what his intent and thoughts are, and then go from there. That will help keep everything running better as well.
@rsa101 (15587)
• Quezon City, Philippines
5 Jan 09
Well I guess you should talk this over and ask him what he plans of the money he is asking you that he will manage. I think you managing the money is quite okay already and him not taking part in any expenses of the house means that he can spend his money all he wants.